Blood

There are people all around me, laughing and dancing in the way that only seems to become possible once inebriated. I watch them, trying to be as invisible as possible. I think today is the first time I haven’t been able to manage it.

I mean, most people are too concerned with themselves to care about me, which is what I honestly prefer, but every now and then a girl will smile at me and I’ll have to go find a different wall to try and sink into. Thankfully my house has a lot of walls.

For anything else I’d just hide in the bathroom or my bedroom, but being my brother’s funeral…well, it wouldn’t have been right.

Besides, Lorna’s in my room and I have a feeling that it would be a bad idea to be alone with her for any amount of time. I still can’t tell if I’m relieved or sickened by the fact that she doesn’t hate me.

Spirits, the only person that seems to hate me here is George Owens, which isn’t that bad since he’s here with his wife meaning he probably won’t want to fight. That being said, I haven’t seen Sarah in a while, which could be potentially problematic.

I can’t believe how much I hate all of this. This party, the people. I just want to be Justin Fionn’s brother with the weird eyes and get called mad and then laughed at then forgotten. Of course that’s impossible, hell, I made sure of that.

I shake my head and drink more of whatever is in the glass I have. Some mix of booze that somebody brought. It tastes like shit but it’s fairly strong, which I suppose is all I could ask for.

I look around again, feeling eyes on me. To my direct left a group of dock workers, including Reid Owens and David Fletcher, are playing some sort of game that involves yelling at and hitting Fletch quite often. They all seem to be enjoying it, especially Fletch, however Reid keeps looking around the room unhappily, despite the fact he’s got one of the Drummond girls on his arm. Pretty girls, the three of them. I’d figure, though, that Reid is looking for Lorna.

Just past them Billy Drummond and Jack Mueller, the grocer and brother to Sam who owns the pub, are playing fiddles. Merry songs all of them, however Bill keeps eyeing Reid suspiciously. I think the girl with Reid may be the youngest, I can’t remember her name though. It might be Jane. Or Jill. Or Ann…Mary Ann? Frig, I don’t know. I get worse at names, especially girls’ names for some reason, when I drink.

To my right Cynthia is with two her five brothers. Them and one of their wives, I think. It might just be a girlfriend.

I don’t know where my father’s gone. He might be with Eddie. My dad doesn’t have too many friends, and Eddie Hannagan is probably one of them. He’s a kind man, but fucking Jamie. He’s here, I know. Jamie. Which is terrible since I’m afraid that in my state that if he were to start something I’d fight him, something I’ve managed to avoid doing my entire life.

I keep looking for who would be watching me until my eyes fall on a girl I don’t recognise.

Shit, I think.

I look around again then slide past the group of dockworkers towards the stairwell. There’s George Owens on the stairs with Fred and Lysa O’Grady, siblings that I think are about five years apart, Lysa being the elder. Fred’s been to the house quite a few times, Lysa a couple less for a fairly different reason.

George sees me and his look sours. He says something to his friend and then starts heading down the stairs.

Shit, I think for the second time.

I turn around and head back the way I came since it seems like George will be less likely to come and attack me or whatever the hell he wants to do in a crowd of people.

The fiddles wail, as does a blonde girl that’s clutching another blonde girl for whatever reason. A man stands to her left, shaking his head.

I look around for a place to try yet again to turn into a wall and instead find two girls standing right in front of me.

I start, causing one of the girls, a girl with black hair and brown eyes—I recognise her, but I’m not sure of her name—to giggle and the other to smile in a shy kind of way that only people that really aren’t shy at all do. She’s got brown eyes as well, although her hair is curlier than the other girl’s and a blondish red.

The girl that had giggled looks back at the other girl, whose kind of hiding behind her.

I don’t think I could be any more confused.

I blink, feeling the brightness of the room, not for the first time. “I’m sorry, can I help you?”

This makes the first girl laugh again, which results in the hiding girl smacking her shoulder.

The laughing girl smiles. “Me? No. But, my friend here, Alice, I think you could help her.”

Alice smiles in an odd kind of way. “I think I’ve had a little too much to drink,” she says, looking at her friend again.

I tilt my head without meaning to, trying to figure out what they’re saying. I have a feeling that I’m supposed to get it.

The laughing girl does so again. As in laughing. She looks back at her friend. “Alice, I told you that he wouldn’t understand. He’s not his brother.”

My brother? I wonder for a moment if these girls are actually angry that Justin’s gone and would like to kill me, but that doesn’t seem right. What else would have to do with my brother?

And then I come from my relatively drunken stupor and realise what they’re saying.

I feel my eyes dart around, although I don’t know what I’m looking for. Maybe an exit route.

Maybe I’ll just go let George try to knock me out for a little while.

I actually start considering that when the girl that isn’t Alice says, “My friend would like to sleep with you.”

Alice looks mortified, although I have a feeling that it’s for effect.

Both girls look at me expectantly.

“I…I…have to, uh…” I can’t think of anything I have to do.

Stupid fucking alcohol.

The first girl laughs again as I try to back away without them noticing.

“Hannah Shelby! God, it’s been ages, eh?”

The first girl, Hannah I would guess, turns and then smiles at someone behind me.

“Reid Owens,” she says merrily. “Jesus, you look rough. Break your nose again?”

I let myself glance behind me, and seeing that it is Reid, let myself breathe again. He would know about…well, I guess there’s not much that he would know actually…

Reid laughs. “That I did. There was a good reason for it, though.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” says Hannah. Not seriously, though. “Oh, this is my cousin, Alice. From the Cove.”

“Hi,” says Alice with a smile.

“Hi,” Reid replies warmly.

It’s a very odd feeling to have people have a conversation when you’re in the middle of their circle, however I’m pretty damn sure I prefer it to being asked for sex.

“Hannah, I’m so sorry, but, is there any chance I can steal Mr. Fionn away from ya? I’ve just been informed that there’s a, uh, talk that I need to have with him about my sister.”

Alice looks vaguely disappointed, but Hannah just continues to smile at Reid. “Ah, that Lorna,” her smile curdles. “How’s she doing?”

I feel Reid’s eyes on me. “Well, that’s what I’m hoping to find out.”

My heart rate picks up again, and I think for the third time,

Shit.

“Come on, Alice,” Hannah says, pulling her cousin away. She mutters something to her that involves the word whore. I tense at the thought of it being in reference to Lorna.

Reid walks up beside me, watching the two girls walk away somewhat more bitterly than makes sense from him. Unless he heard Hannah call Lorna a whore as well.

Then he turns and looks at me. “Well, at least my sister’s picked one that ain’t gonna fuck around on her,” he says while shaking his head, regarding me with a look I don’t understand.

I always forget how short he is, only about Lorna’s height.

He laughs, although to himself. “You haven’t seen her, eh?”

“Uh, yeah. She’s…in my room, I think,” I don’t know why I hesitate as I say that, until Reid narrows his eyes and I realise it sounds weird to leave the girl you’re seeing in your room at a party.

Reid makes a face, I think considering his words. “Why is my sister in your room?”

I blink, trying to remember why Lorna’s in my room, at the same time realising that Reid’s only actually referred to Lorna as his sister, which I don’t think is a good thing.

“She, didn’t want to be here,” I say, looking around at all the other drunks. “Her and,” I exhale partially because it feels so wrong to mention my brother. “Justin didn’t exactly get along. I told her she could wait in my room until you were ready to leave.”

Reid shakes his head again, somewhat angrily. I try to remember if Reid Owens loses his temper easily.

“Don’t be angry with her,” I say.

Reid looks up at me, although it doesn’t really feel like he is. I mean, it’s not something you notice like with other people. “Tsk. I wish I could be. I’m not very good at being angry at her,” he says, as though that’s caused him a lot of problems.

I almost say ‘good’ before stopping myself. Instead I don’t say anything, which feels unnatural, so I look away.

Reid makes to walk away but stops. “Don’t hurt her,” he says, both gravely and like he’s asking me not to. “If you do, well, I don’t know what I’ll do to you yet, but I promise I’ll figure it out.”

I feel a chill run up my spine because it strikes me that no matter what hells I might have endured already Reid Owens will put me through another if I hurt Lorna. Which scares me since there is absolutely no way to continue now without hurting her.

Reid starts to walk away again and then stops, making a face at himself. “And I’m sorry for your loss.”