Blood and Ruin (Blood and Ruin Series Book 1)

Kai strolls up to us, followed by Rion and a grouchy looking Axel. His scowl deepens spotting me, his eyes dragging down my body.

“Fucking hell,” he murmurs avoiding any further eye contact. Fine by me. I needed to get away from them anyway.

Kai leans into me.

“None of us agreed to stay away. No matter how much you hate it, you’re our mate and we’re going nowhere.”

I swallow trying to form words past the lump in my throat.

They were the ones better off without me. I would bring them nothing but pain and suffering. They deserved far better than anything I could give them.

“It’s for the best.”

Jax steps forward, his eyes ablaze in fury and pain. “Whose best? Because from where I’m standing it’s only been about what you want.”

“Jax, that’s not—

Luka grabs his shoulder, but he shakes it off, sending me a wounded look full of frustration.

Luka looks at me, shaking his head before focusing on Jax. “Come on, let’s go get you that drink.”

Jax gives me one last pained look full of longing before heading to the bar with Luka.

What did they expect from me? That I would just open up and let them in after all these years? We didn’t know each other, not anymore. They didn’t know the truth about King and the cities. If I had to push them away to keep them safe, then that’s what I’d do.

I take a minute to gather myself and my fucked-up emotions, before turning to the rest of them.

Axel’s sneer is firmly back in place, no longer avoiding me.

Kai’s brows are drawn together, his head cocked to the side as he watches me. Rion is staring right through me as though he’s seeing past the mask I wear.

“What are you doing here?” I clear my throat avoiding their intensive gazes.

“We could ask you the same thing?” Axel jeers.

I give him a look of disbelief. “I live here, dickhead.”

Axel drops the sneer looking confused. “You live here?”

“Above the club, yes.”

The guys share another one of their secret looks I was no longer a part of.

“Something that will change.” Rion crosses his arms staring me down as if I’d drop to my feet and obey his command.

“Well, what King wants, he gets, so unless you have a spell that changes his personality then you’re going to have to deal with it.”

Another look shared between the guys. This time one filled with confusion and suspicion.

Shit! Why couldn’t I just keep my mouth shut around them?

“Stepdaddy too overprotective of his little princess?” Axel mocks.

“Fuck off, Axel! And don’t call him that!”

“What, Daddy?” Axel’s smirk turns cruel seeing he’s pushed a button.

“Did Daddy not get you the newest phone?”

The shithead hadn’t a clue what I went through or how fucking demented King was.

“Shut it!”

I feel myself unravelling in front of them, losing the cool and collected persona I usually wore like armour.

Axel’s harsh chuckle scrapes off my ears like a course rug.

One little taunt and I was losing it?

I was stronger than this. I lasted six years of torture, and this dickhead wasn’t going to break me with some fabricated bullshit.

I’m about to let loose on Axel when Kai gives him a hard look.

“Enough.”

Axel glowers at Kai’s command. “She—

“Leave it, Axel!” Rion growls, his gaze staring straight at me.

Axel looks over at me and whatever he finds makes him pause and frown.

I didn’t need this. I didn’t need them.

“Kiarra—” Kai starts but I don’t want to hear anymore. I just wanted them to leave.

“Why don’t you all just stay the fuck away from me?!”

“Kiarra—”

“After all, I’m just a spoiled fucking princess!” I throw Axel back one of his sneers.

My whole body is trembling with frustration as I turn around, ready to hightail it out of there.

I smack into a hard body making me wince.

Jax steadies me as I rub my head, frowning up at him. He’s about to lay into me, I can see it in his eyes, but whatever he sees makes him hesitate. Narrowing his eyes on the guys behind me, he glances back down at me, his own gaze losing some of its irritation as they soften on me.

“You okay?”

Luka appears beside him with a tray of drinks, his easy-going smile dropping when he sees us and the tense atmosphere around us. “What happened?”

I shake my head, not wanting to deal with any of this. “I’m outta here.”

“What the fuck?”

“Axel is being a dick.” Rion narrows a sharp look at Axel, his now golden eyes pulsing. Axel nods, releasing a harsh breath, rubbing a hand behind his neck.

“What’s fucking new? Ignore him. Here, take a drink.” Jax hands me a cocktail, similar to the one I was drinking. He sends me a flirty wink, the soft twinkle firmly back in place.

I hesitate before taking the drink. “Thought you were mad at me? Or is this shit poisoned?” I knock it back, not caring either way. It’s not like it could kill me.

Not bad. The drink is fruity with a slight bitter taste.

He rolls his eyes at me thinking I’m being dramatic but it’s not the first time I was poisoned and won’t be the last, not while I’m still in King’s Tower.

Luka passes out drinks to the other guys. I avoid looking at them, feeling weak for my outburst.

Jax shrugs, unaware of my sombre thoughts. “I’ve decided, it doesn’t matter.”

My heart drops at his words. I take a larger gulp of the drink, hoping to ease my churning stomach.

Why should it matter? After all, he’s right. I’m a fucking mess. They should stay far away from me.

I was a walking, talking fucking contradiction. I couldn’t have them and want to leave them at the same time.

This was for the best, for us all…

I look out onto the dance floor, but he grabs my chin, turning it back to him. The fierce look in his eyes makes me pause.

“It doesn’t matter what you think, I’m going nowhere.”

No words form at his promise. I want him, want them all. But those dreams withered up the day King took me and no matter how hard I try or how much I want it, they’re not my guys anymore.

Jax’s eyes narrow as if knowing where my thoughts have gone.

“Don’t bother running. You’re mine, whether you like it or not.”

A throat clears loudly behind him. He smirks looking back at Luka before turning back to me.

“Ours. You’re ours. ”

Just as I’m about to reply, Kane catches my eye, tilting his head to the corner of the room. I follow his direction and spot a slim, sketchy looking guy. His purple eyes bouncing around the room.

The contact.

Shit. I needed to get to him before he left. I take a step in his direction, forgetting for a moment about the clusterfuck in front of me.

A hand reaches out to stop me.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Rion demands.

The guys narrow their eyes on me.

I look around, trying to come up with something, spotting the large crowd on the dance floor. An idea coming to mind.

“I’m going to dance.” Rion’s eyes narrow on me in suspicion. That fucker always knew when I was lying.

“Is this not a club?” I try to sound confident, hoping it convinces him, but he gives me a look, telling me I’m full of shit.

“Dance away, baby.” Jax leans against the table, looking like he’s waiting on a show to start.

Great.

Knocking back the last of my drink, I subtly look around the room and slightly relax, seeing the contact still there. But he’s getting shiftier by the minute. I need to make this quick.

Conjuring the persona of the sultry look I was wearing, I send Jax a flirty wink as I make my way to the centre of the dance floor.

Jax’s smirk kicks up a notch, his eyes drinking in every inch of me. The guys gather beside him, watching like sentry guards. Stiff and informal.

Drowning them out, I let go, feeling the beat of the music as if it’s a part of me. Closing my eyes, I drown out everyone around me.

Music is the one thing I can always depend on to comfort me when everything else feels hopeless.

When I’m alone in the dark and can’t find my way back, music helps me find a way. Dancing makes me feel alive when all I want to do is be silent and still. It lights a spark that awakens my sleepy soul.

When I’m dancing, I’m not weak or vulnerable. I’m not King’s prisoner or a target or victim.

I’m strong and powerful. The blood pumping in my veins makes me feel like I can do anything or be anything. Like the world is mine to command.

I feel exhilarated, the energy around me intoxicating.

But most importantly. I’m free.

Just as one song ends and blends into the next, the sound of the crowd goes wild, drawing me back to reality.

My eyes open and land on the guys. Their jaws are clenched, their furious gazes on the bodies around me bumping and grinding.

My plan working, I send them a slow smirk and wink before joining back in. The energy of the crowd hypes up a notch, closing in around me, and giving me the cover I need to get out of there unseen by the guys.

With the song’s tempo rising and the crowd following, I hastily duck down, heading in the last direction of the purple-eyed fox.

It takes a couple of minutes to get through the over-zealous crowd until I finally reach the guy just as he’s about to leave.

“Hey.” The fox whips around, his eyes widening as if been caught. Seeing me, he slightly relaxes.

As soon as I move closer, he takes a step back.

“What do you want?” His eyes dart around the room, looking for the nearest exit.

“Jazmyn sent me.” I look around quickly, making sure no one else is watching before showing him the Phoenix feather I traded three months of jobs for.

When he sees what I have in my hand, his eyebrows raise.

“You?” I nod.

He sighs, the stiffness in his shoulders slightly easing further. “You’re late!”

“Sorry, I ran into some… issues. Do you have the item?”

He releases a frustrated sigh, glancing longingly at the Phoenix wing as I tighten my grip on it.

“I need more than that.”

I send him a glare, knowing the Phoenix feather was more than a fair trade for what he was giving me. If used right, they were known to extend a life by years or heal fatal wounds in seconds.

The dick was just trying to push his luck. But I didn’t have any other option. If I didn’t get this trade, the whole plan fell to pieces. Pulling out the cash I had been saving for weeks, I hand it over.

“That’s all I’ve got. Either take it or leave it.” I feign confidence I didn’t feel.

I really needed this trade. It was the last item Jazmyn needed to make the potions that would help get Alana out.

He sighs, grabbing the cash out of my hand before faking an unhappy look. The excited glint in his eyes tells me the truth.

Reaching into his pocket, he holds out his hand, palm down.

Glancing around once more, I place my hand under his as he drops the small flat disc into it, before handing over the Phoenix feather.

He checks each long-burned orange tuft, relaxing when he sees it’s in perfect condition. I quickly glance at the small flat disc, a smile forming when I see it. My thumb rubs against the etched zodiac sculpted into it.

“Be careful with that. It packs a punch, and remember our deal?” He frowns as I tuck the disc into my bra.

“Yes, you were never here, nor do you exist.”

“Good.” He turns around and leaves without so much as a backward glance.

The smile on my face grows, realising how close I am to getting us both out of here.

I start toward the side door when a tall figure blocks me.

“There you are.” Kai crosses his arms, looking pissed off.

Shit. I forgot about the guys.

“Where do you think you’re off to?”

I fake a yawn. “I’m tired, going to bed.” Turning, I try to hightail it in the opposite direction when a hand stops me.

I look up, finding Rion.

“Don’t run. We won’t bite.” His smile is wicked and full of delicious promises.

I clear my throat. “I wasn’t running.”

“That so?” Luka comes up beside us with Jax, giving me a knowing smirk.

“Where the hell did you learn how to dance like that?” Jax frowns, as if offended by the idea.

I shrug. “I come here a lot. Guess I picked up a few moves.” There was no way I was going to tell them the truth. That I used it as an escape from King’s torture.

“You more than picked up a few. We weren’t the only ones who noticed.” The guy’s scowl at the idea, glaring out at the crowded dance floor.

“Next time you come down, invite us.” Luka glances around the room. “I don’t like you being here by yourself.” The guy’s grunt in agreement, Jax snarling at one of King’s guards who pass too close to us.

“I can take care of myself. I don’t need chaperones.”

“Well, we weren’t fucking asking!” Axel growls, clenching his jaw.

“Why the fuck do you care?”

“We don’t,” he sneers.

“Then leave me the hell alone!”

“Not fucking possible,” he grits out, looking away.

What the hell? He’s making no sense.

“What—”

“Dance with me?” Jax pleads, cutting in.

“I’ve had enough of possessive assholes for one night. I’m going to bed.”

“Better be fucking alone,” Axel mumbles, lighting my fuse once more.

“And if it’s not?”

Axel steps closer, his raw smoky scent hitting my senses. “Then the fucker better pray for a swift death when I get my hands on him.”

Was he actually serious right now? Not one thing that came out of his mouth made any sense.

He hated me but didn’t want me with anyone else?

“Come on, sweetheart?” Jax pushes Axel out of the way, earning a growl from him. Kai holds him back from taking a swing at Jax.

Jax ignores him, his soft, hopeful eyes making me lose some of my ire. But it also reminds me of how much everything has changed and at the same time, hasn’t.

I care about them, more than I’d like to admit. But Alana and I would be leaving soon. Getting closer to them to then turn around and leave, would only hurt us all more.

“I can’t,” I tell him, pleading with my eyes to try make him understand. We couldn’t get any closer than we already were.

King can’t find out about how much I cared about them. If he did, they were all dead, agreement or not.

He drops his hand, taking a step back. A look of devastation crosses his face before it turns to one of resolution.

“Challenge excepted.” He nods his head, crossing his arms. Luka grabs his shoulder, as he raises a brow at me, also sharing his brother’s stance.

I shake my head, knowing I wasn’t going to get anywhere with them tonight.

Axel’s jaw is clenched as he avoids looking at me while Kai and Rion share a similar look to the twins, waiting for me to start my objections. But it was late and tomorrow held a challenge of another kind. One that would force me to lay low for a couple of days.

Turning around, I stop myself from glancing back, feeling five sets of eyes follow me as I make my way out of the club.