SWNOVELS Chapter 2
1 month later
~Emily’s POV~
“Emily! Get down here right now! You are going to be late!”
Sighing, I got up from my desk chair and walked to my bedroom door. Yippee. Another stupid appointment. Ever since I found out about…it, everyone has been pushing me to take better care of myself. They make me take some stupid pills that taste horrible. I have to go to the clinic every few weeks to have…it…checked out. I wish all of this were over and done with so I don’t have to think about…it…anymore. It can be someone else’s problem.
“Emily!”
Yanking my door open I yelled, “I’m coming!” a bit more forcefully than I intended to.
“Don’t you take that tone with me young lady!” my mother yelled back. “If you had come down when I called the first time instead of making me wait I wouldn’t have to keep yelling for you.”
Sighing, again, “Sorry,” I told her when I reached the bottom of the stairs.
“I know, honey.” She said while giving me a quick hug. “How are you feeling this morning? Any more nausea? Any pains?”
I suppressed a groan at the questions. They were the same ones she asked every morning since we found out. I was tired of it all. I didn’t even want to think about this…thing. Instead of a smart-ass comment I replied, “I’m fine. Everything is…fine.” I knew she didn’t believe me, but she let it slide.
Mom led me out to the waiting car. I needed her help to navigate down the front stairs and the driveway as they decided to remodel. I was still getting used to the new wooden deck and stone stairs. She helped me get into the car and we were off.
It was a silent ride to the clinic. I was and wasn’t ok with it. I did not mind the silence as I didn’t want to talk, but I also did not like it as it gave me too much time to think. Too much time to go over what was going to happen. They were going to make me pee in a cup, and then they were going to put stuff on my stomach to take pictures of…it. They were going to tell me everything about what was going on with my body. What I could expect. What I needed to be doing for the health of this…thing.
I didn’t want to think about this. I didn’t want to be reminded constantly that I had that bastard’s…
I felt my anger rise up with these thoughts. Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly. It was better to be numb. It was better not to think about anything. As long as I went to these stupid appointments and did what everyone said than this will soon be over.
I only had to get through seven more months of this. Seven more months and this…being…will belong to my parents. I’ll be moved out and I won’t have to deal with this again.
~Alpha Matt’s POV~
I watched as my daughter left with my wife, her mother. I didn’t know what to do for my little girl. Granted she was not mine by blood but she was mine all the same.
I regret every day that I was not there to protect her. To keep her from harm. I need my little girl happy and I didn’t know how to make that happen.
I only turned back to face the room I was in when I could no longer see my wife’s car. I was in my study and I was supposed to be taking care of Alpha business, but my daughter’s unhappiness was weighing heavily on my mind.
Sighing, I sank back into my seat and tried to concentrate on some work. A few minutes later, I reached over to my phone after it rang a few times. I was glad for the distraction. I hated going over finances.
“Alpha Matt,” I answered.
“Alpha, this is Jack the Beta of the Silver Lake Pack in Washington,” the caller replied.
“Jack, what can I do for you?”
“Did you receive the information that I was going to be traveling to all the packs in search of my mate?” he asked.
“Yes, I have. That was a while ago. I assumed you had already found your mate as you had not been here yet.”
I heard Jack release a burst of air over the phone. “I was detained and could not make it away from the pack until recently. I’ve only been traveling for about a week now. I was wondering if I could have your permission to travel your lands so that I could find my mate.”
Knowing what it was like to want and have your mate by your side I gave him my permission. He told me that he should be at the pack house within the next day or two unless something happened. Letting him know that it was fine I hung up.
Leaning back in my chair I ran a hand through my hair. This should be interesting, I thought to myself. There were only three unmated females in my pack. One was Jennifer, but she was too young at the age of twelve to be mated to anyone. There was Trish, and with her not being a wolf, I doubt she would be a Beta’s mate. Lastly, there was my daughter. The one who should have been a Beta in her own right.
Sighing, again, I wondered if it was possible for her to be the Silver Lake Beta’s mate. Oh well, we’ll find out in the next couple of days.
A few days later, I received a call from Jack saying that he had to head back to Washington as something came up with his pack. Not letting on how relieved I was, I told him I wished him the best of luck, and to call if they needed anything. He thanked me and we hung up.
I was thankful that he would not be coming now. Yesterday was Emily’s birthday and it was a depressing one. She has been getting more difficult as her situation progresses, and I am afraid of what she might say or do with the Beta around. She is not acting out or anything, she has just become more…withdrawn.
If the Beta turns out to be her mate and he rejects her because of what has happened and is happening then I am afraid it may send her over the edge into a depression that could destroy her. I wanted to avoid that at all costs. As it stands, Emily won’t talk to anyone or even come out of her room. If she does talk to someone, her voice is monotone and her face will show very little expression. It’s as if she has become numb. As if expressing or feeling anything will shatter her so she shows and feels nothing instead.
I pray that Jack’s pack is ok, but I also pray that whatever is preventing him from coming here will keep him there longer. If only to protect my daughter from something that may not even be.
6 weeks later
~Emily’s POV~
I could feel my emotional walls crumbling. I didn’t want them to fall, as I did not know what the aftermath would be. I didn’t want to shore them up, as I was tired of fighting my emotions. It was ok to feel things physically, but it was not ok to feel things emotionally. I tried so hard to suppress everything since I found out about…it.
I know everyone keeps telling me to call…it…a baby, but if I think of it as a living breathing human inside of me…I don’t know what will happen. I just know I can’t. I don’t know if I will ever be able to acknowledge this thing inside of me.
As it was, I felt it kick today. All the pills, all the appointments, all the talk, never made it more real than that fact. It kicked.
That one little act is causing my barriers to fall. I want to scream, cry, rant and rave about the injustice of it all. About how this wasn’t fair. About why I have to be the one to suffer through all of this. Where was my mate? Where was my family? Where was anybody when this happened to me? Then I remember. It’s my fault. It’s my fault no one knew where I was going to be. It’s my fault I let my guard down. It’s my fault.
I sank back into the pillows on my bed as the depression settled in. I haven’t left my room in a while now. A few weeks ago, I turned nineteen. I didn’t even remember it until my brother, Dave, came in to wish me Happy Birthday.
I did not even care. I had gone downstairs and joined everyone else as they wished me happy, but I could not be moved to even smile. Not even when my friend, Nat, got me one of my favorite books on audio. I know she meant well, but it brought back things I would rather not think about. Eventually, I made my escape from the festivities and settled back into my room. Since then, I haven’t spoken to anyone unless I had to and I haven’t left my room unless ordered to.
Now, with it moving and making its presence known, I’ll have to tell my mother. I’ll have to get up and leave my sanctuary to find the person who cares more about this thing than I do.