Blinding Light (BLS Book 1)

Asher

Earlier…

I grimace when Sira comes in. She looks confused. After a long while of chattering, we started phase two. We need a specific push of pain.

My head hurts.

I don’t think I’ll be able to watch without feeling sick to my stomach. But I force my eyes on the monitor screen, now transferred from the computer to a bigger screen. I watch her lifeless body being lowered down with the bed. The room is full of green wires attached to the walls, to the bed, connecting her mind and fears—emotions.

Suddenly, another door opens and someone falls through with Mila—a girl with the same green eyes.

Raven.

“Wait…what are you doing?” I ask Mother.

“We are continuing with phase two,” she replies calmly.

“What are you going to do to her?” I snap before I could stop myself.

The slap from my mother echoes around the room.

“Is that any way to speak to your mother?” Mother’s blue eyes are full of fury and disappointment.

“I’m sorry,” I say, avoiding her gaze. “What I meant is that this can risk our progress with phase three.”

“We do not need phase three anymore,” she says and I look up. “Phase three is not needed if we can trigger her ability and haywire it to heal everyone in this compound.”

“But—” I begin but she cuts me off.

“No buts,” she snaps. “Everyone’s lives are on the line here, yet you worry not about us but about some idiotic host?”

Even my gut twists at the acknowledgment—she’s only a host, nothing more. I keep my lips shut to not say anything that I will regret.

She scoffs and turns away from me, keeping her gaze on the monitor.

‘What an ignorant child. What have I raised him for?’ Sounds in her head.

’This is the final phase, and we can save everything yet his selfish self—’ I sigh and rub my temples; my telepathy is certainly not helping right now.

I know what a disappointment I am for this experiment, and I could’ve begged for my position to be someone else. But I wanted to meet her for the first time in twelve years. I wanted to see her, to get to know her before…

Concentrate. Focus. Do this for the benefit of your family.

But while I think of that, I can’t stop my thoughts from drifting back to her. I know that she’s attending the Alliance Tour for the money. I know that she’s using that for her family benefits. I wish I could be like her. Headstrong, brave, selfless—everything I have ever hoped for.

***

I don’t know how long it has been while I’ve been mentally communicating with myself. She’s now awake, sitting up, and staring into nothingness.

Her sister, Raven, rushes up to her side. I will never understand the love of siblings—but I guess none of us will. Everything will be manipulated. At first, Sira transfer the image to her adoptive mother.

…

No reaction. She continues to stare into nothingness. All the light from her eyes, gone. Her gaze cold and hard, dead—straight ahead.

Then, Sira transforms Raven into me. My heart jumps up at the curiosity of how she’ll react. She cocks her head when she sees me.

“Asher?” She asks in a soft voice. My heart skips a beat when my name rolls off her tongue. She reaches out a hand but then draws it back, hesitant.

“Where are we?” She asks, her voice soft, I thought I saw a yearning in her eyes, looking at my simulated figure, but I’m sure that I’m so desperate that my eyes were just playing tricks on me.

“Is this the reaction we were looking for?” Mother suddenly asks Sira.

“No,” she types into the computer once more, and this time, the simulation states no change. Basically, she sees Raven again. But her face is still empty and she stares straight ahead. Suddenly a sharp knife appears through thin air and cuts Raven’s arm. She cries out, but Mila doesn’t react to that either.

“Something’s wrong,” Sira suddenly says, frowning.

“What?” Kaine asks.

“The data we analyzed summarizes reaction to the pain of her loved ones. But she is not reacting to anything. Her body is like it’s in shock.”

Shock?

That time, when she woke up, I didn’t inject all of the sleeping needle in. I only did it halfway; I couldn’t bring myself to.

I’m so damn selfish.

Did that have something to do with this? I wince visibly. Mother turns to me.

“What was that face for?” She asks. I’m going to be in so much trouble for not reporting this. So I do what any coward would, I hide.

“I believe she woke up exactly two days ago, and I ran into her. It seems that her memory had not been wiped clean.”

“You…what?”

Mother glared at me, “All this happened, and you didn’t think to report to us?”

“I didn’t think it was necessary.” She raises her hand to slap me again, and I don’t even blink. But Kaine stops her by holding her wrist.

“Wait,” he says, “Wait, Indra. If he states that she has woken up before, this could happen again, but the trigger might help us.”

She thinks for a moment,

“Yes, I believe it will. You will be punished for this, Asher. At least later,” she gives me a look. “Now, why did she wake up?”

“I don’t know, Mother,” I reply and she groans in frustration.

“I might have an answer to that,” Sira whispers.

“Well?” Mother asks, annoyed, “Spit it out.”

“You might want to call Silas in here.”

“Nolan, go get Silas.”

“Yes, Father,” Nolan closes the door behind him, and he disappears down the hallway.

“Why didn’t you report this, Asher?” Mother asks.

“I…” I look at the floor—the white floor that has surrounded my whole nineteen years of life. I was born when this Project started, looked on as an experiment. My childhood was nothing but Mother telling me that I was going to be successful one day, guiding the host to save us all. The day she brought her in was the happiest day of my life, I thought I was a hero, but instead, and I’ve finally figured it out, I’m the villain.

“Tell me, baby,” she says, voice soft. I know that this is just her way of getting information out of me.

“I…I can’t.”

“Why not?” She asks, her voice still soft.

“I can’t, mom…” I say, pleading that she won’t push it. Mother scoffs.

‘Selfish coward.’

The door clicks open, Nolan and Silas appear in the doorway.

“What do you need?” Silas merely asks, staring directly at my mother. She’s the head of this entire organization, but he’s the only one who dares to do this. Even though I wish sometimes I had that confidence in myself.

“Afternoon to you too, Silas,” she says, tone emotionless.

“Oops. Good afternoon Indra. Alright, what do you need?”

“You need to show some—” Kaine begins, but Mother holds up a hand and quiets him.

“Afternoon Silas. What I need is to know about the last time the host has woken up,” she says calmly, and Silas’s eyes widen.

“What? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Stop screwing with me, we all know about it now, Asher has just informed us.”

He shoots me a glare, and I shrug.

“You what?! You woke her up?” He suddenly shouts at me, shaking my shoulders.

“I did nothing of the sort,” I reply and pry his fingers off my shoulders. He stands at my eye level, and I glare at him. “Are you trying to blame me for all this?”

“Silas!” Mother yells and Silas immediately quiets down.

“Enough of this nonsense! Spit it out, now,” Mother returns to her normal, still threatening voice.

He sighs, “I apologize, Indra. I never meant for that to happen.”

“Stop. Just stop. We need to know the information, shove your apology up your ass,” Nolan says.

“Fine,” he sighs, “Sira and I—”

“Don’t bring me—” Sira begins. Mother gives Sira a look, and she snaps her jaw shut, clicking her teeth together with a clamp.

“As I was saying,” he continues, “Sira and I hacked into the database and connected my mind to the host’s. During my time in her mind, I accidentally activated a failsafe. When I awakened, she was no longer there, on the bed.”

“That was the only reason? There was no other?” Mother asks, impatient.

“There was no more unless you want to know what the failsafe activated?” Silas asks.

“No, we do not, cause the one with family is not working,” Sira pauses, thinking, “Unless she is recently shocked by some fact that has disturbed this present data.”

“What do you mean?” Mother asks.

“Unless there was some telepathic breach,” Sira glances in my direction.

“I had nothing to do with this,” I put my hands up in front of me, bringing myself away from the look in her eyes—suspicion.

“Are you hiding something, Asher?” Mom asks in that sweet but devilish tone.

I shake my head even as the lie sets in. I’ve never lied to Mother before. This feels new, scary—but almost exciting. I brush away the thought when Mother sighs. She turns away from me, and guilt sits in my gut. I don’t know how else to tell her.

How do I tell her that I was the one who didn’t wipe her memory completely…? How do I tell her that I am very much in love with her since day one?

How do I tell her that I want to help rather than hurt her? Even if it damages the whole Project, including everyone’s lives—including my own?

The only option is that—I can’t.

I won’t.

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Thanks, with lots of smiles

☆•Yiona•☆