Blinding Light (BLS Book 1)

12 years later...

Where am I…?

Who am I…?

I can’t speak; I do not speak—my lips as if glued together. My eyes stay shut—I don’t try to open them.

Voices speak my name, but the sound of it not familiar, doesn’t come to memory.

Memory, what’s that?

I don’t seem to remember anything. Nothing comes to mind; except I know that I’m not a baby. I know I’m almost fully grown.

Just then, music rings in my ears, a pretty melody that soothes me—cuts me from my thoughts. As if it has ripped me away from my mind and forced me to listen to the soothing yet horrid song. The haze in my mind doesn’t seem to clear but expand.

I DON’T REMEMBER

Pain, it begins in my side, blossoms into my arm, smiles at me, tormenting me. It’s so excruciating that my eyes snap open to a world of blurred objects of white. I blink a few times, try to move, but I can’t—held back by restraints. When the lights finally come into vision, I’m blinded by the brightness of it. But I don’t make any sounds—I can’t.

A snake-like pain travels upwards towards my heart and brain, the center control of my body. Its tight build coils tightly around my nerves, giving way to agonizing pain stabbing into every millimeter of my body. I think I’m screaming, but my brain is overstimulated by so much agony that everything refuses to work—nothing comprehends. Only when I hear the rumble of the metal on the lifeless ground that I know my body seizes, shakes uncontrollably.

Only even then, torment does not cease, it wraps around my throat, as if its purpose is to cut off my air supply. The stinging flames around my temples as if I’m being shocked by electrical cardioversion. I didn’t know how I knew that word, only that it exists in the back of my mind that’s being fried to ashes.

…

No sound escapes my charred lips even as the pain intensifies, ten folds. I can’t cry out. I can’t make it stop, I have no control.

The lights blink, everything else fades in and out of my vision, except for one thing. A silhouette stands directly over me, covering the light. Two blue blurs on its face, somehow, I was afraid of those eyes, rooted so far down I never thought I’d feel it again.

I can’t stop the shaking of my body. The silhouette doesn’t come to focus. It blinks, tilts its head, and smiles, straight white teeth that trigger another fear that I didn’t know existed.

“She’s unstable...”

The silhouette disappears, the light returns, causing me to shut my eyes again, squeezing the tears out. They fall, trickling down the sides of my head. I seem to focus for only a couple of seconds; I only catch a few words from the ringing that now pierces my eardrums.

“...Project another try…” says a woman’s voice. My focus evaporates, then returns the pain—agony comes rushing back. Tears don’t warn—they just come, hot and fast.

I can’t do anything.

Useless.

“Continue…proceed…no matter…” A man’s voice this time. “We must…APT…”

My nose clogs up, and by taking a breath in through my mouth, I taste the saltiness of my tears that only burns my hoarse throat more. Each puff of air that is supposed to supply me with life instead chokes and suffocates me. I try to hold my breath only to fail, letting the dreadful air enter my broken lungs.

The waves of pain never go away.

IT PROBABLY NEVER WILL

The ache in my head strengthens, and something disappears, rips itself free of my poisonous mind.

Everything fades. I would do anything to stop the searing headache that’s infecting my head, even if it’s just for a second. I hear my breaths coming in gasps, in harsh inhales.

Drenched in sweat, I don’t speak, I just shake.

Red fills my vision, trailing down, finds its way into my mouth.

Blood.

The sweet taste and metallic scent of it somehow calms me—I want to puke.

What’s wrong with me?

I squeeze my eyes shut, but the darkness doesn’t help either.

I suddenly feel myself toss side to side like a wild animal. Having no control over my movements, I can only listen and watch behind this wall, utterly helpless. A scream sounds over my headache—an almost reliving sound. It takes me a second before I realize the cry came from me.

I’m barely conscious, but something keeps me awake. Something keeps me alive, just scarcely, something sacred and deadly.

A secret.

Maybe it would be better if it all ended. If that’s what it takes to stop the pain, the desperate cry of help that no one will hear.

As I think that, every inch of my body trembles, even my brain, shaking like a rattlesnake’s tail.

A loud laugh brings me back from my toxic mind. Even in the darkness, I could see the light shining above me. Then it gets darker. Something is hovering over me. I shut my eyes again. Maybe it’s all just a bad dream.

But something brushes my face—something warm. It strokes my cheek, then scratches it, digging its fingernails into my skin, drawing blood in its crescent shape. I still react to the pain, it forces me to open my eyes.

I see nothing; everything is hazy. My eyes roll to the back of my head, and blackness consumes me.

“Amazing,” a deep voice, male. My eyes burn even when they’re closed, my face wet with tears, or blood; I can’t tell anymore. I can’t stop it; I can’t endure it. I’m so sure I’m going to die here.

Alone.

And worthless.

Then something pierces my flesh, the side of my head. I don’t hear myself scream, maybe it’s because I’m losing something. Only the back of my mind remains conscious. Something is being taken from me, something important.

Blood tickles the side of my head as it drips down, and I am suddenly still; I don’t shake anymore. My eyes open once more to see a chilling smile from the silhouette shines in the dark, light—I don’t know. I blink, once, twice, my consciousness slipping away as my vision unfocus.

The last wisp of my mind, gone, wiped away forever…

“Don’t worry love, you won’t remember anything.”

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Thanks, with lots of smiles

☆•Yiona•☆