Big girls don't cry

Beep... Beep... Beep...

The beeping annoys me, and I try to ignore the sound. I can hear two voices whispering to each other somewhere in the room. Someone walks out the door and closes the door behind; someone takes my hand in his or hers, and terrified of who it may be, I dare not open my eyes.

“Aleida? Please, open your eyes...” I open my eyes quickly when I recognize the voice; it’s Matt. He looks tired and stressed out but still smiles at me. “Hello, sweetheart.”

“Where am I?” I ask with a hoarse voice.

“You’re at the pack hospital, darling.”

I’m now completely awake. The horror of being in the pack hospital scares the shit out of me. I’m not allowed to go to the hospital under any circumstances whatsoever. Matt has taken a significant risk of bringing me here, and he will have to pay dearly for it.

“Why did you take me here?” I ask with a terrified voice while his smile drops, and he looks miserable before he sighs.

“We had to bring you here. You had left behind a blood trail all over the floor after the injuries you got in the packhouse earlier. We told you to take it easy, but you wouldn’t listen. In the end, you just fell to the floor with your eyes closed. We tried to communicate with you and tried to wake you up in every way we could think of. But...” his voice breaks. “You didn’t wake up. So I lifted you and ran here with you in my arms. We knew what a risk it was to bring you here, but what the hell were we supposed to do!? Leave you there on the floor? You’d have bled out in half an hour! So we brought you here with the knowledge that we would have to pay for it, which is why alpha took Clare...”

My breath gets stuck in my throat. Clare has been like a mother to me ever since my own died. Clare and Matt have no children; therefore, they always treat me as if I’m their daughter. Of course, they think it’s fucked up how the others in the pack treat me, but I have told them that I don’t want them to treat me well when the rest of the pack members are nearby. I know there would be trouble for them and would instead take a couple of punches extra, as long as they remained unharmed.

“You shouldn’t have...” I say with tears in my eyes while he gives me a sad look and takes my hand in his again; he’s avoiding my eyes. “Where is she?”

Again, he avoids my gaze and doesn’t answer my question. His face that usually has a big dazzling smile now looks broken. I haven’t thought about it before, but Matt’s getting to the years now. His dark brown hair now has both one and another gray hair. The once youthful appearance has begun to give him wrinkles, and he has large darkening circles under his eyes. He doesn’t look like this when we met at the tavern. Then he was happy and looked good. There’s something he’s not telling; something’s happened while I was out. Something has affected him enough to make him look like he’s gone through hell and back again.

“Matt, how long was I out?” I ask hesitantly.

“Two days,” he answers silently.

“Where is Clare?” I ask him again while he continues to hesitate.

“Where. Is. Clare!?” I raise my voice, and I wouldn’t say I like to do that, not to Matt.

“The alpha took her as payment for your stay here,” he says quietly, and I can see a tear fall alone down over his cheek.

I sit up in the hospital bed, and I don’t give a shit that my head is spinning. Instead, I begin to disconnect the machines and draw in a satisfied breath when the beeping finally ends. Matt looks at me anxiously and doesn’t look like he knows what to grab from the situation, say or do.

“I will get her back; you guys should never have done this in the first place.”

“But-”

“No, buts!”

Without a word, I quickly dress before I run out of the room and down the stairs. “I have to save Clare” is the only thing circulating in my mind. I’ve already lost my mother once; I’m not going to lose my extra mom, too, not if I can stop it! When I walk in through the door of the packhouse, I freeze. On the floor in front of me is Clare lying in a puddle of her blood. I try to run up to her, with the only goal to save her, cost whatever it costs. But, I can’t even take three steps before someone grabs me and hold me from behind.

“What the hell did you do to her, you fucking pig!?” I shout right at my alpha, who looks at me surprised.

I’ve never taken a tone against him or called him things. At first, he just stands completely still, looking shocked at me, before his facial expressions change and begin to show resentment. He bends down towards Clare and takes a firm grip on her neck. She is barely conscious and hisses out tiny breaths. He throws her into the wall, and she falls into a pile on the floor.

“Clare and Matt made the stupid choice to take you to the hospital, and now dear Clare here will pay.”

He lifts her in her hair and pulls her out to the front of the house. I know what he’s going to do, and he wants to fight her. She can barely stand on her legs! How the hell is she supposed to defend herself against a fucking alpha!? He’s just about to walk towards her and grab her when I finally manage to get away from the person who holds me. I growl loudly at him, and everyone else gets quiet. Alpha Jonathan slowly turns to me and has a bewildered look in his eyes. His eyes are black, and I know his wolf is about to take over.

“What the hell did you just do to me!?” he screams in my face.

For some reason, I don’t back down; I feel a strong force inside me that grows more and more as he yells at me. He walks with brisk steps towards Clare, but I’m faster. I stand protective in front of her and give out a growl echoing over the forest.

“Move your ass, Aleida, or you will get hurt!” he continues to scream, and I continue to stand there with fury inside me. “Move!”

I continue just to stand there, prepared to fight, and protect Clare when the alpha begins to laugh out loud.

“Oh Aleida, Aleida... You have no idea what you are doing,” he walks around me in circles. “You have no idea what it is you are doing right now. You’re a weak little girl who doesn’t even have a wolf at the age of seventeen! What do you think you’re going to do in a fight with me, huh!? You’re useless and weak.”

He leans toward me and whispers, ”just like your mother was when I had my fun with her.”

I feel a loud growl coming out of my mouth, and I don’t know where this power comes from; the anger rushing from my toes up to my head, like a flash in my body. A storm that draws everything in its path and creates hell on earth. I take a step closer to him.

“You. Should. Not. Talk. About. My. Family. In. That. Way!”

He looks shaken up, and before he can answer me, I interrupt him with something I know he can’t prepare for, which will shake him to the ground.

“I, Aleida Mendez, a member of the Rose moon pack, challenge you alpha Jonathan, for the alpha position!”

Once again, everyone gets silent and glares at me. Both them and I wait impatiently for Jonathan’s answer. He gives me a mockery smile.

“I accept, tomorrow at dawn, the forest glade by the river,” he shouts and laughs all the way back inside.

The others disappear one by one. I bend down and lift Clare; she doesn’t weigh much and isn’t much taller than me either, for that matter. Her former pale skin with naturally red lips is now full of bruises and blood that shapes a ring around her face. I know it won’t take long for her to heal, at least not physically. Werewolves have a healing effect within us that makes it much faster for us to recover from injuries unless you’re like me, who can’t find her wolf. Of course, our wolves cannot work miracles; if you have too much damage at once, you will need regular medical care. But these injuries aren’t as serious as I first thought. Most of the blood Clare has on her face comes from her broken nose; the bruises should be gone within a few days. I bring her into her and Matt’s bedroom on the second floor. I’m almost up on the second floor when I see her slowly open her eyes and look at me. Her tearful eyes make me feel ashamed; after all, it is my fault that she is injured.

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper with tears in my eyes.

I put her down gently on the bed, and she just shakes her head. My tears are falling; she gives me a weak and trembling smile while wiping away my tears.

“It’s not your fault, my beautiful Aleida. We agreed it was worth it to be able to provide you with care, and I would have done it ten more times, as long as you’re okay.”

“No, it’s my job to protect you! You’ve been taking care of me since my parents died. You have given me all the love I needed; you have given me a job, a reason to live. I’m not going to let him hurt you! That’s why I’ve challenged him to the alpha title.”

She gasps loudly and looks horrified at me; I know what she’s thinking... She doesn’t think I’ll survive, and I’m sure I won’t. I can’t use what I’ve learned without my wolf; I simply can’t channel the right anger into doing what I have to do. I can defend myself reasonably, I think; I can’t know that because I’ve never sparred with anyone else. Fighting man against wolf is not the same; the probability is very high that I will die tomorrow.

“It’s okay, Clare, everything’s going to be okay,” I say quietly to her while caressing her hair. She’s crying in my lap, and I’m trying not to break down on my own; I have to be strong, for her, for Matt.

“I can’t afford to lose you...” is the last thing I hear her say before her breath becomes heavy, indicating that she has fallen asleep.

I move her gently from my lap and sneak out of the room. Matt’s leaning on the door outside; it looks like he’s heard everything we’ve said. He looks at me with tears in his green eyes.

“She doesn’t know you can die tomorrow, does she?” he asks with a weak voice, and I shake my head while biting my lip. “She needs you, Aleida, more than you think and will ever understand. You mean so much to us that you can’t even imagine. You have become like our daughter, and that we have not been able to defend you better lies on me. How can you do this!? A challenge to the alpha! Aleida, you’re just a child, my child. How the hell could you think of doing something so stupid?” he exclaims through his loud tears and sobbing. I put my arms around him, and he holds his hand, protective against my back head.

“Promise me you won’t die tomorrow...”

Those words cause my heart to hurt. How the hell am I supposed to promise him such a thing? We both know that the chance I win is practically zero. Nevertheless, I swallow the truth and decide to lie him straight in the face...

“I promise,” I say with a small smile, and he smiles does the same.

“That’s my good girl.”

He pats me over my cheek before he opens the door and walks into the room. I turn around and walk down to my basement; I have to be ready to fight in a few hours. There’s nothing else I can do but hope that the moon goddess is on my side for once.

I wake up cold sweaty to my alarm bell that beeps loudly. There’s not much to do except to get dressed and be prepared to attack an alpha. I look down on my previously injured leg and discover to my delight, that it has almost completely healed. With a joyful leap, I begin to warm up my muscles, waiting for the time to pass. Minutes feel like hours while I stand there stretching and waiting impatiently. When it finally is time to go, I almost run up the stairs to hurry to the clearing. By the time I get there, everyone looks like they’re there. Alpha stands ready in the middle to tell the rules and looks at me with an unpleasant smile as if he can already foresee how this will unfold.

“Listen up! I have accepted Aleida’s challenge, and we are fighting today for the right to our clan. If Aleida wins, I will release the entire pack, including all members, responsibilities, and membership. But if I win, Aleida dies here today.”

That statement make me look at him with incarcerated, alarmed eyes.

“That was never part of the deal,” I say, angry while he’s just laughing at me.

“Oh, little Aleida, you have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into, I told you yesterday.”

He takes off his shirt and stands ready. I stand in a standard fighting position, left foot in front and right foot in back. My hands are clenched fists that are ready to break his neck if necessary. Without the slightest sign or sound that the fight has begun, he darts at me. The battle has already started.