Big girls don't cry

Aleida’s POV

I can’t believe it! My wolf is inside me; she exists; she is mine! I jump up and down over the new feeling of togetherness. My joy spreads throughout the room while my brothers, Killian and Miliano, are smiling big at me. They understand how big this is for me since they all probably met their wolves when they turned sixteen, as most others do. My happiness spreads even more, when I hear Lisa inside our shared mind.

It’s great to be able to talk to you; finally, Aleida, I’ve been waiting for the wall you set up between us to fall.

Did I set up a wall between us? Oh, moon goddess, I’m sorry!

It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m here now, and I’m a part of you. There’s something I need to talk to you about.

What is it?

You have to let go.

Let go of what?

The walls you have up there blocked your feelings and anyone trying to get close to you. It’s not the best way to handle it. It would be best to process all the pain, sadness, and betrayal you have experienced during your short life. Otherwise, it will eat you from the inside... and stop yelling at our mate!

I’m hanging down my head. I can hear someone say, “it looks like she’s getting scolded by her wolf.”

I didn’t yell at him...

Well, you have, and you are very well aware of that too. You don’t have to be strong all the time; mate wants to help you, let him do it. He’s happy when you are happy; even if he hasn’t left his mark on you yet, he can still feel your emotions from time to time. You have been begging and praying to the moon goddess all your life that she will send someone who wants to help you. Now you have him in front of you, and you deny him that.

“I don’t know how to talk about it ...” I say out loud to her.

I know it’s hard, but if you don’t tell him about the darkness inside you, you’ll perish. No one can make it all alone in this world unharmed. You have had to fight for your survival all your life, but you have also forgotten to live during that time. Promise that you live your life the way you want to live; you have neglected yourself and your joy long enough.

“Thank you,” I say out loud with a smile before she turns off the link.

When the fog disappears from my eyes, I can see my new family sitting in front of me, looking at me with joy.

“Welcome back, luna,” Killian says.

“Did you get scolded?” Nathan asks, laughing.

I stick my tongue out to him, and both of my brothers laugh at me. I sit back in Miliano’s lap and relax in his arms immediately.

“So, was it a friendly chat with your wolf?” Miliano asks.

“Yes, it opened my eyes a little.”

“What’s her name?”

“Lisa.”

“Hmm...” he says, and I can feel the vibrations in his chest.

“What?” I ask.

“Nothing, that just explains why Ryan has said the name ’Lisa’ since we found you. He has repeatedly said that we have to get Lisa out, but he ignored the question every time I asked him about it. So why did she yell at you?”

“Because I didn’t tell you about my dark thoughts.”

I feel him stiffen, and every person’s gaze in the room lands on me.

“What dark thoughts?”

“I’m not ready to talk about it yet; give me some time, and I promise I will tell you everything,” I answer and give him a weak smile.

He looks worried but doesn’t say anything about it. Instead, he hugs me closer, puts his head at my neck, and nuzzles to draw my scent into his nose. It’s quiet for a long time after that, but there’s not an uncomfortable silence. We all sit with our thoughts that rotate in our minds.

“So... Luna?” Nathan asks with a smile.

“I’m not a luna; I’m an omega,” I answer shamefully.

“You’re not an omega, you’re an alpha, and you know it! So, therefore, the Rose moon pack belongs to you,” Jason exclaims in an outrageous voice.

“No, I’m not the firstborn; Nathan is the righteous descendant of the alpha position,” I answer and they both shake their heads. “What?”

“We aren’t descendants of your mother. I’m an alpha, but Jason is a gamma. We have different ranks because Jason has taken after our mother more, and I got more DNA from our common father. It’s also clearly noticeable that you took after dad the most, but we can see traces of your mother in you,” Jason answers, and I wipe away a tear that falls when he begins talking about my mother; I miss her terribly.

“Since Clara also was an alpha, you have a hundred percent alpha blood in your veins. It’s very unusual for two alphas to have a true mate that has the same rank. I’ve never actually heard of it before. It rarely becomes two alpha’s who match partners because it grows an infinite force, and that power can even cause another alpha to bow to the one who possesses the power. An alpha isn’t affected by an order from another werewolf at all; we don’t like to take orders additionally. But since that power is so dominant, it can have every creature within a mile radius bow at their feet,” Nathan explains, and they all glance at me with open mouths.

“What does this have to do with me?”

“You are the strongest werewolf living right now; you just haven’t achieved your full potential yet,” he answers with a shrug, and the shock is overriding me.

What!? This can’t be right.…

“I haven’t even shifted yet; you have confused me with someone else,” I answer shamefully and look down at my hands.

“There’s a difference between shifting and turning, dear Aleida,” he says, and I look up at him. “You shifted to mature werewolf age far too early, and that made your wolf not able to catch up. You ran away from your wolf, who has been looking for you ever since.”

“How do you know these things?” I ask perplexity and don’t know what to think, feel or do at the moment.

“I have studied the history of werewolves and a lot of other creatures. It’s a hobby nowadays; I don’t have the time to do it as much anymore, considering I have a pack to attend to.”

“Wait here now... How can you be the alpha if dad didn’t rule that pack?”

“Our mother was the luna. Her mate died a few weeks after she got the title. Our dad was her second chance mate.”

Now I understand, I think. All this is so new to me that my brain is spinning with all the latest information. The dizziness spreads in my tired body.

“Are you okay, honey?” Miliano asks gently and strokes my hair while I close my eyes, trying to calm my head down.

“I don’t know; I’m dizzy,” I answer, and he sighs.

“Again?” he asks softly.

“I don’t understand why it continues to appear like this,” I say with a weak voice.

“It’s not very weird, baby girl; you had someone else in your body that forced you to experience all the evil you’ve been through over and over again. We’re just going to be glad you didn’t disappear from us. We need you.”

“No one needs me...” I whisper; Miliano lifts my face for me to look him into the eyes.

“Never say that no one needs you, Aleida. Your brothers need their little sister they’ve been looking for for years; Killian needs his Luna for our pack and me. I need my mate with me. I was looking for you for so long that I don’t know how to carry on every day without you being with me. Now that I’ve met you and seen what a beautiful and amazing personality you have, I know I’ll never be able to live without you again.”

His words touch my soul; I put my hand on his cheek and look into his eyes. He backs away a little, all of a sudden.

“What is it? Did I do something wrong?” I ask, terrified that I may have hurt him.

“Your eyes, they are glowing.”

“What?”

“When you put your hand against my cheek, I could feel a force that took away all the dark thoughts within me, and your eyes were glowing all the time.”

“W–what does that mean?”

“That means you’ve healed him,” Nathan says suddenly, looking at me with great curiosity.

“What? I can’t heal anyone.”

“It’s pretty apparent that you can; we all experienced and saw it just now even if you didn’t notice it yourself.”

“How-how did it feel?” I ask Miliano, and he’s smiling.

“It was as if a big stone fell from my chest. After that, I feel lighter, happier, and safe within myself.”

His words bring joy to blossom within me. It makes me happy to help him when he needs me, even if it’s just about a worldly thing like this. I curl up further and nearer to him. Then, before I know it, I begin to slumber.

When I wake up, it’s dark in the room, which confuses me. What am I doing in here, and why is it dark? I’m about to sit up when I feel a spark in my wrist. I turn my head and let my eyes get used to the darkness before seeing those facial features that I recognize anywhere.

“Good evening, my luna,” he says.

“How did I get here? What happened?” I ask, to which he laughs.

“You fell asleep in my arms down in the living room. All the new information, together with the conversation you had with your wolf, made you completely exhausted. So we concluded that it would be best to let you rest for a couple of hours, and now we’re here.”

“A few hours? I’ve been sleeping all day.”

“Even a future luna needs to sleep occasionally.”

We lie there in each other’s arms in silence for a good time. My head lays on his shapely and trained bare chest. It’s only now that I realize how fit and sexy my mate is. I wonder how it would feel to touch him. Pulling my tongue down over his belly toward his-.

Our mate is hot, I know.

What the-!? Did you spy on my thoughts again?

Okay, first of all, we share this mind. Secondly, we belong together, and thirdly, my mate is inside him. They’re ours.

True, true…

So ... are you going to try to get yourself something? I can give you tips! If you start by…

I break the link between us and mentally laugh at how grumpy she probably is from me doing that.

“What are you thinking of, little one?” his sudden voice makes me shudder all over my body.

“My wolf and I had a discussion,” I answer, and he turns toward me.

“Really? What was it about?” he challenges, grinning.

“You,” I answer briefly and correctly while he laughs low.

“What did she want?”

“She thought I should...” I interrupt myself before I have time to embarrass myself further.

“That you should, what?”

I’m ashamed both on the inside and outside right now. If I know my body exactly, my cheeks are guaranteed to be tomato red right now.

“Nothing,” I answer quietly, and he continues to laugh.

“You’re cute when you’re embarrassed.”

His statement makes me even redder, I didn’t even think it was a physical opportunity, but here I am!

“I’m still tired,” I say to change the subject, and it isn’t a lie; even though I have slept, it felt like I have been running a marathon.

“Then we sleep, we should regardless; after all, it’s in the middle of the night.”

He settles behind me and holds my back to his body. Spooning with this man, my mate, gives me for the first time in a long time that security I’ve always dreamt of but never thought I’d get.

“What are you doing awake anyway?” I mumble to him.

“I came in here not too long ago; I couldn’t help but look at you,” he answers, and after that, we’re quiet for a minute before he continues. “I think I know what you and your wolf were talking about.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say and freeze unintentionally.

“I think you do; Ryan has had a fascinating conversation with Lisa,” Miliano says, and my eyes open quickly; I don’t move a muscle; I even hold my breath.

“We think you’re sexy too,” he purrs in my ear; again, I shudder and feel how my lower regions moisten.

“Good night, my darling,” he says, and shortly after that, I relax.

“It’s time to get up now, Aleida,” someone says and pushes me a little carefully.

With a groan, I open my eyes and look into the eyes of my man, my mate. He’s already dressed and newly showered.

“Go shower with you; we have things to do today!” he chirps.

When I get up and walk into the bathroom, he snakes his hand around my waist and holds me close.

“Don’t think that I didn’t notice your arousal yesterday, little mate, all in its own time.”

With that, he opens the door, gives me a wink, and walks out. I’m still standing by the bathroom door and feel my wetness pouring down my legs. Shit, I’m in trouble...