Big Bad Wolfie

"I let you win," I panted.

Obviously I didn't, and he knows it, but I can't just admit it!

"Sureeeee you did," Wolfie laughed.

I scoffed loudly, "Said the one who challenged an injured girl who doesn't know where she's going to a race!"

"Hey," he pointed at me, "All is fair in love and war."

Hm, yesterday I would have asked which one we were in.

I rolled my eyes dramatically but was secretly enjoying myself, "Mhm, whatever."

He chuckled, "Alright, let's sit, you look exhausted."

I sighed in relief and plopped onto the ground, actually relieved with the only slight amount of pain that stung my stomach.

"Man, you really are tired," he commented. "Must be that crappy vampire stamina."

My jaw dropped, and I lightheartedly narrowed my eyes at him. "You did not just say that."

He shrugged, "I think I did."

I let out a scoff mixed with a laugh, "Oh, I'll show you," I yelled while tackling him.

He busted out laughing and started trying to roll us, but I wasn't having it.

We play wrestled for a few seconds until we were both a little winded.

Wolfie was probably more winded from trying not to put any of his weight on my stomach.

We stayed still, breathing heavily.

I looked down at him from my place lying on his chest. He's so beautiful.

We just analyzed each other until we met eyes and screamed messages to each other without saying a word. I don't even know exactly what most of the messages were saying. But I feel something in his gaze.

But I also feel like I'd be betraying my house if I let myself think that so soon.

So I will save the feeling for another time and just be happy with him.

By the time I was out of the trance we put each other in, he wasn't smiling anymore. He didn't look sad or mad, he just looked calm. Thoughtful.

"I used to come here with my brother," he suddenly admitted.

My mind blanked for a second at the information and all I could do was blink.

"Oh," I whispered dumbly.

After my brain caught up, I looked around. "It's beautiful."

He looked around with me as I rolled off of him to gaze up through the hole in the rocky ceiling at the sun set.

We couldn't actually see the sunset, but the sky was turning a pretty pinkish color, so it was enough.

"I know, right," he smiled faintly.

I hesitated in responding, because I know this is a touchy subject. "Which one of you found this awesome little hideout?" I asked. I'm hoping he brought it up because he wanted to talk about it. He snorted, "He did, well, technically I did." He chuckled deeply, making my insides churn. "It's a long story."

I looked over at him. "We've got time."

He gave another one of those faint smiles. "Well, alright then." He wiggled around to get all comfy and put his arms behind his head.

I chuckled at him and did the same.

"So we were walking through these very woods on a dark, stormy night."

"Why were you doing that?" I furrowed my brows.

"It wasn't actually storming, it was mid June. I just thought it would make things more dramatic."

I barked a laugh while shaking my head at him. "Well, mission accomplished."

He only nodded. "Anyway, we were exploring the woods at night and Dillan smelled a flower patch, but we couldn't see any. So being curious little kids who thought we knew these woods like the back of our hand, we started sniffing around. My eyesight in the dark wasn't exactly up to par yet, because it was still a couple months before my tenth birthday when we shift for the first time, but Dillan was like thirteen, so he was fine. Of course, I didn't think to follow him though, that would be way too logical for me."

I chuckled.

"So I went a little ahead, and right as Dillan said, 'hey the scent is coming from here,' I fell through that big @ss hole and shattered my ankle," he said pointing to the gaping hole above us that's letting the sun in and allowing the beautiful flowers to grow down here.

I gasped, "d@mn, that's a long fall."

"I know. It sucked, and my 9 year old self lost his sh*t when he realized his ankle was facing the wrong direction and blowing up like a balloon."

I cringed.

"I was ready to burst into tears and never stop," he shook his head. "Not only from the pain but from the embarrassment. I had just ate sh*t in front of my bad @ss older brother. Not to mention I knew mom was gonna beat our @sses for sneaking out into the woods after dark."

I tried to hide my giggle at that, but I failed miserably and he glared at me teasingly.

"But then Dillan made his way down." He looked to me. "I still, to this day, don't know how he got down so d@mn fast."

I chuckled. "Big brother powers."

He nodded in agreement. "Big brother powers."

"I was about to scramble away from him when he came up to me. His hysterical laughter did not make me feel any better, but then he said, 'That was so cool, Jay!'."

My eyes actually started watering a little at the pure joy in his voice, but I blinked to keep them back.

"He went on about how I was awesome and cool and how no normal wolf would have EVER survived that fall," he rolled his eyes dramatically at that and looked at me, "even though he must have jumped down himself to get to me so fast."

I laughed and smiled at him.

This is so nice.

He turned his gaze back to the darkening sky. "But I ate up every bit of it. He made me completely forget about the pain, or embarrassment, or missed curfew."

My grin grew.

"His wolf carried me on his back all the way home."

"That's an awesome story, Wolfie."

"Yeah," he said wistfully.

"Then our mom beat our @sses."

I cracked up at that. "She didn't think a broken ankle was enough?"

I can't imagine their Luna, who was kind and loving towards a total stranger, being anything but tender towards them.

Of course, she didn't seem to have a problem telling her husband what was up earlier today.

So I guess I can imagine it.

"Evidently not," he scoffed but then smiled beautifully after. "She did put way more heat on Dillan though..."

He went kinda quiet and the smile shrunk a little.

"Gave him the whole big brother roll model talk and how he should set a better example." He continued. "Even though I'm the one that begged him for hours to go out to the forest with me." He stared blankly at the sky but his voice shook the smallest bit.

"The truth is he was a great roll model," he admitted. "He did everything right. Excelled in his alpha training, his studies, his relationships, everything. I had a perfect older brother to look up to." "And I still ended up a screwup."

"Hey," I snapped. "Stop calling my mate a screwup, @sshole."

The smallest smirk reappeared on his face, but he shook his head. "It's true, Maria. He died because I couldn't protect myself." My eyes followed his hand as he absentmindedly rubbed his shoulder. The one with the scar ingrained into it.

"And then after he died I did everything he wouldn't have done. Fell into Abaddon's trap, took people from their home," he switched his gaze to me, "risked losing my mate."

My heart softened at the pain in his eyes.

"Wolfie, everyone makes mistakes." I put my hand over his and stopped him from digging his claws into his shoulder.

"Dillan wouldn't have made as many as I have."

"Maybe, but now you're fixing them -"

"It should have been me."

"Stop talking like that!" I slammed my hand on the ground and sat up to glare down at him.

He jumped in shock at first, then his face melted into one of heartache.

I'd recognize it anywhere. I see it when I look in the mirror most nights.

"Maria, I-"

"What? You wish it was you? You wish for me to live my life without a mate? Without you?" I ground my teeth, the anger washing over me out of nowhere.

He opened his mouth to explain himself, but I'm not done with him yet. "The moon goddess makes sure everything happens for a reason, and at the very least, you're here because I need you! I can actually sleep at night when I'm in your arms -"

"Maria, all I've done since we met is burden you."

"Are you trying to change that?"

"Of course," he sat up as well, determination lacing his voice despite the conversation we're having.

"Then it's in the past!" I excalaimed.

"It's in the past, but that doesn't make it okay." Wolfie ground out, running his hands through his hair in clear stress.

"H3ll no it doesn't, but the point is, you're working to make the future okay. To make the future good!" I gripped his hands again in a death grip.

"Goddess Jason, you're turning me into a inspirational speaker," I pleaded with him to make it stop.

He stayed silent while his head hung low. The atmosphere simmered down.

"We can't live in the past, Jason." I held his hands tighter and dipped my head down to meet his eyes. "There's nothing there for us. The future is what we need to focus on."

He let out a deep, shaky breath, but still didn't speak.

Then he tackled me into a hug.

He didn't let me land on my back when I lost my balance and was careful with my stomach, but even if he wasn't, it wouldn't have stopped me from throwing my arms around him like a vice. There's something about your mate that makes them impossible not to embrace when given the chance.

"You know, I'm not normally this whiny," he mumbled.

I chuckled and ran my fingers through his hair subconsciously.

"Especially not about the past."

I nodded in acknowledgment.

I think he just needs a listening ear now. I already put my two scents in.

"It's just in the midst of so many of my own mistakes, it makes me think of how things would be if he were here... I really thought I was over his death."

I squeezed him a little tighter, but he abruptly pulled back to look me in the eye.

"Not like gotten over in a bad way, I'll always love him I just, he-I—"

I pulled his head back into my shoulder before he could hurt himself struggling for words. "I know what you mean, Wolfie. You learned to cope with the loss." I spoke gently.

"Yeah," he whispered softly.

"Don't worry, there will always be bumps in the road, but things will always smooth out in the end," I reassured him.

He sighed into my shoulder. "How do you know?"

"I read it on a fortune cookie."¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶☐☐☐