SWNOVELS Bide: Chapter 48
During the many philanderous years of my life, I’ve become an expert in sneaking out undetected.
A new challenge for me, though?
Sneaking out of my own apartment.
I had no intention of falling asleep while Jackson was still here. Definitely not with him beside me on the couch. And I certainly didn’t intend on waking up with soft, steady breaths tickling the top of my head, my face buried in his chest and his in my hair.
It wouldn’t have been so bad, really, if he didn’t have a hand shoved down my pajama shorts. It could’ve almost passed for a friendly nap, like one I would take with Amelia or Kate or Ben, if his other hand wasn’t curled around my back and copping a handful of sideboob. Everything would be fine if I wasn’t wrapped around him like a monkey, hands creeping under his t-shirt to press flat against his bare chest and steal some of his warmth, my face buried so deep in his neck, I’m surprised my face isn’t imprinted there.
I swear, I’ve never moved faster than I did scrambling the hell off him.
By some miracle, Jackson didn’t stir. He pouted and he frowned and he wriggled around a bit but he remained blessedly asleep, oblivious to my absence.
Turns out, that wasn’t the triumph I took it for.
Because now, I’m standing at my front door, staring at the unconscious boy on my sofa, wondering what the fuck to do with him.
I can’t just… leave, can I? That feels like a step too far, even for me.
I’m pondering my limited options when my phone rings. Swearing, I wrestle it from my pocket. Averting my gaze from Jackson as he finally awakens, I frown at his sister’s name lighting up my screen and hit the answer button. “Hello?”
The panicked voice that greets me is most definitely not Lux’s. “Caroline?”
In my peripheral, I watch Jackson jerk upright. Waving until I reluctantly swing my gaze his way, he mouths Caroline?
Mimicking his look of bewilderment, I shrug.
“This is weird,” Caroline voices my sentiments exactly, “but Lux told me to call you.”
If alarm bells weren’t already ringing, they sure as hell are now. “What happened?”
Caroline’s deep, shaky breath scares the ever-loving shit out of me. “She was in the shop picking out flowers for the guestroom and I told her to let me help but she refused and she fell. Kind of bad.”
“Is she okay?” Three words have Jackson’s confusion shifting to alarm, and I hold up a hand in the universal silent command for hang on a fucking second before you lose it.
“I’m driving her to the hospital now.” Muffled sounds of protest break out in the background that Caroline ignores. “She, uh, says you know.”
Oh, fuck. “Is the baby okay?”
“I think so. She’s acting like she’s fine but I think she’s in real pain.”
“Okay.” Fuck. I rake a hand through my hair, grimacing at the tangles I find. Guess that’s what I get for sleeping on it wet. “Okay. Tell her we’re on our way.”
“We?” Three voices echo.
“Yes, we,” I reply with a sigh. “I’m with Jackson now, we can be there in a few hours. What hospital are we going to?”
A slight kink in her voice, Caroline relays the name as I snatch my keys off the counter, and I’ve barely hung up before Jackson’s on me. “Who’s in the hospital?” he demands, stealing my keys, holding the front door open for me, and ushering me outside in one smooth second.
I wait until we’re a safe distance away from any stairs that shock could possibly send him tumbling down before replying. “Lux.”
Jackson stops in the middle of my building’s parking lot. “What happened?”
“She fell or something, I don’t know the details.”
I watch as panic settles into every facet of Jackson’s being. He pales. His eyes become unseeing. His chest rises and falls unevenly, breaths ragged, and God, if it was possible for your heart to break more than once, mine would.
“Hey.” I loop my fingers around his wrist and shake gently. “She’s fine. And we’re gonna go make sure, okay?”
Jackson doesn’t protest when I wrestle my keys from his clenched fist, nor when I guide him to the passenger side of my car. He remains silent, staring at my dashboard with a listless frown, as I stab Serenity Ranch’s address into the GPS.
It’s not until we’re on the road that his head jerks toward me. “Wait, did you say baby?”
“Alexandra Winona Jackson.”
Jackson’s enraged voice bounces off the hospital walls, steam practically pouring from his ears as he barges into Lux’s hospital room.
I’m sorry, I mouth at her as I scurry in behind him. I’m so sorry.
“You’re pregnant?”
Lux and I wince simultaneously.
“I’m sorry,” I repeat. “So sorry.”
I didn’t mean to tell him. The baby thing just slipped out and then, when he pushed, I couldn’t exactly lie. Just like he couldn’t exactly help himself from making me pull over, swap seats, and attempt the world record of ‘number of speed limits broken in one trip.’
“Don’t apologize.” Jackson shoots me a withering yet weirdly hot look that very much contradicts his claims of not being mad at me for withholding vital information.
His expression softens momentarily when he turns back to his sister, reclined in a hospital bed, some kind of monitor strapped to her stomach, ankle wrapped up in a bandage and propped on a pillow. “Are you okay?”
She waves him off. “I’m fine. Just a sprained ankle.” A hand goes to her stomach, smoothing over the round bump that’s significantly more prominent than the last time I saw her. We’re fine, she seems to say.
“Good.” Jackson nods stiffly, crossing his arms over his chest. “Because I’m gonna kill you.”
“Oscar, relax.”
He ignores her. “Actually, no. I’m gonna kill him.”
“Oscar.”
“I swear to fucking God, Alexandra, he’s dead. Is this why you guys broke up? Did he get you pregnant and then break up with you? Fucking asshole.” He’s pacing now, creating a draft in the room as he storms from one side to the other, wild-eyed and red-faced, hands braced on his hips.
He pauses at the foot of the bed, grasping the footboard with white-knuckled hands. “How long?”
Lux shifts, her eyes almost apologetic as they flutter towards me for a moment. “Almost five months.”
“Five?” Jackson gapes at his sister before side-eyeing me. “And you knew?”
“Not for five months.” Only for, like, one.
Jackson kisses his teeth. “Oh, well, that’s okay then.”
“I told her at the funeral,” Lux chimes in. “She took me to an appointment the day after.”
“I fucking knew you two were being weird.”
Cautiously, I sidle up behind Jackson, resting a hand on his shoulder. “Calm down. You’re gonna pop a blood vessel.”
I get another one of those looks but beneath my palm, his shoulder slackens. Breathing deep, steadying breaths, he perches cautiously on the edge of the bed, gaze straying to the stomach swollen with his niece or nephew. “You’re pregnant, Lux.”
“I’m aware.”
“A baby. You’re gonna have a baby.”
Lux hums, absentmindedly rubbing her stomach, the faintest of smiles curling her lips up. A smile that’s wiped the moment Jackson asks, “Mark knows?”
Her mouth flattens in a straight line. “Mark knows.”
“And?”
“And nothing.”
“I’ll kill him.”
Lux rolls her eyes. “Your girl already offered to slash his tires.”
That earns me an appraising look from Jackson, one big hand wrapping around my thigh and squeezing. I bump him with my hip, my hand returning to his shoulder, briefly swiping through his hair before I can stop myself. Lux watches us with a knowing smirk that I choose to ignore. “You hungry? I can run out and get you something.”
She straightens up, her face brightening. “Would you mind?”
“Not at all.” I hold my hand palm up towards Jackson. He rummages around in his hoodie pocket for a moment before he drops my car keys in my waiting hand. “McDonald’s?”
Lux presses a hand over her heart, bottom lip jutting out in a pout. “You might be my new favorite sister.”
Red stains my cheeks as I bark out a nervous laugh.
I don’t let myself overthink her words, even when Jackson squeezes my thigh again with a smile on his face. I also don’t overthink it when he grips me by the chin and drags my face down to his so he can kiss me. Definitely no overthinking happens when his lips brush over my cheek too, his thumb swiping over the warm, tingling spot they leave as he murmurs a ‘thank you.’
I’m barely out the door before I hear Lux explode into giddy laughter. I don’t stick around to eavesdrop on what she says—I have a good enough imagination to figure it out on my own—I just hightail it to the parking lot and, again, definitely do not overthink a thing.
Every person I pass shoots me a weird look when I re-enter the hospital almost an hour later, balancing at least half of McDonald’s menu in my arms.
Lux didn’t specify what she wanted, so I got a bit of everything, purposely not using the credit card Jackson snuck into my back pocket at some point before I left. I may not be loaded, but I can swing a takeout.
I’ve almost made it to Lux’s room sans any food-related casualties when a quiet voice calling my name stops me in my tracks.
Dithering at the end of the hall, fingers playing with the hem of her pretty sundress, Caroline smiles nervously. “Need help?”
“Hi.” No matter how exceptionally hard I try to keep surprise from my tone, I don’t quite manage it. “I didn’t know you were still here.”
She shrugs as she tucks a lock of dirty blonde hair behind her ear. “I didn’t wanna leave until I knew she was okay.”
Huh.
That’s… nice.
“She’s good.”
“Thank God.” Genuine relief washes over Caroline’s features. It surprises me; the last time we met, concern was not something she showed readily.
Not as surprising, though, as what comes out of her mouth next.
“My mom died when I was a kid,” she blurts out of nowhere, catching me so off guard I almost drop one of the bags clutched in my hands. She saves it before it slips from my grasp, tucking it beneath her arms as she chews on her bottom lip and shifts awkwardly. “I don’t remember a lot about her but I remember the funeral. My dad was…” Something dark crosses her expression before she shakes it off. “He wasn’t fully there, you know, so it was kind of just me handling everything.”
“I’m sorry,” I say quietly, and I mean it. I can’t imagine a kid dealing with all of that alone.
“I remember wishing that I had someone there to help me. So at Jackson’s mom’s funeral…” She trails off, shrugging as a sad smile pulls at her lips. “I know I came on too strong but I was trying to help.”
The animosity I feel towards her fades a bit at the genuine concern splashed across her face.
“I’m not a fool, okay? I know he doesn’t…” She swallows. “I know he doesn’t love me.” Something about the look on her face, or maybe the crack in her voice, squeezes my heart. Her head drops, hair acting like a shield, probably to hide the way her fingers come up and quickly swipe beneath her eyes. “I just saw the way he was looking at you and I got jealous and mad so I was rude to you.” She shakes her head, a little hiccuped laugh leaving her as she brushes her hair back and says, almost to herself, “We were together for four years and he never looked at me like that.”
Well, fuck.
How am I supposed to blame a girl for that when, honestly, if the roles were reversed, I can’t say that I wouldn’t have reacted the same?
“You know, I thought I was gonna marry him. When I was eighteen, I truly believed he was it for me. And Serenity Ranch… It’s the only place that’s ever felt like home to me. I just have a hard time letting that go.”
That, I can understand. Six months without the place felt like a lifetime.
“I’m not tryna excuse my behavior, I’m just tryna explain it. And apologize for how I acted. I swear I’m not some mean girl, I just don’t think before I speak sometimes and everything comes out wrong.”
Something else I can’t really have against her because, shit, do we have that in common.
Nodding towards the door, I ask, “You wanna come in?”
“I’ve gotta get back to the store.” At my questioning glance, she adds, “I work at the florist in town.”
Of course she does. She looks exactly like the kind of girl who spends her days surrounded by bright, pretty flowers. I can just picture her in some kind of greenhouse, elbow deep in dirt yet somehow completely clean, flowers just sprouting to life wherever she looks.
Fucking living sunshine.
Waving goodbye, Caroline starts towards the exit. Before she can disappear from sight, I call after her. “For the record,” she glances over her shoulder questioningly, “I think if you told Jackson all that, he’d understand.”
A laugh shakes her shoulders. “I know. That’s exactly why I haven’t.” She cocks her head at me, a genuine smile playing across her lips, and God, when she’s not being all bitchy or fake, the girl is so pretty it almost hurts my eyes. “It’s infuriating, how nice he is, right?”
I laugh too, my smile matching hers. “The worst.”