SWNOVELS Beyond the Game: Chapter 4
August
My stomach has been queasy for the last several days and today is no better. I didn’t think I would be this nervous starting a new job, but apparently, I am. It’s not like I don’t know what I’m doing. And it’s not like I’m feeling overwhelmed with life. I gave myself plenty of time to find a new place, move in, get myself settled, and learn my way around before this day came. That way I could ensure I wouldn’t be adding to my stress level by not knowing how to get whatever I might need.
The girl sitting next to me leans over. “First year here?”
“Yeah,” I chuckle. “Am I that obvious?”
“No. Not at all. You just weren’t shooting the shit with other people in the room, so I assumed you didn’t know anybody.”
“Ah. You would be correct.”
“I’m Nina,” she tells me.
“Tate. Well, Tatum, but everyone calls me Tate.”
“Nice to meet you, Tate.”
“Pleasure to meet you, Nina. What grade?”
“First.”
My brows shoot up. “Oh perfect. We’ll be first grade friends.”
She lifts her hand and I give her a high five just as a petite woman stands in the front of the room.
“Welcome back teachers! I trust you all had a wonderful summer break and are feeling refreshed and ready to hit the ground running in a new school year.”
As I look around the library where all the staff are seated, I can probably guess how many of these teachers are veterans with only a few years left and which are brand new to their jobs and not just because some look older than others. The veterans try hard not to roll their eyes at the thought of having to return to work after another wonderful summer break and the newbies of the group are on the edge of their seats with a notebook and pen handy, ready to take on the world one student at a time.
I consider myself to be in between those two groups. Not a first year-teacher as this is technically my ninth year in the field of education, however, this is my first year at Riverside Elementary School. It’s my first year working outside the state of Michigan. And it’s my first year in a job as a single woman.
New home.
New job.
New me.
That was the plan once my divorce was final. I needed a change. A big change. I didn’t want to be someone who got stuck in her hometown for the rest of her life. I wanted to see more of my world. I wanted to meet new people. I wanted to have new life experiences.
So here I am.
From small town Michigan to the Windy City of Illinois, everything about me is different now. I’m ready for a new year with new students. I’m ready to spend my days developing the minds of young first graders and my nights exploring my new environment. I’m excited to meet new friends and hopefully have an active social life. Heck, maybe I can even get involved in some sort of club or charitable organization. The sky’s the limit!
The principal, Mrs. Charbly, stands at the front of the room with a small clicker in hand, ready to begin her power point presentation. “If I can have your attention for just a few moments before you disperse to your rooms to work, I want to go over a few new things happening this school year. But before I do that,” she smiles, “I’d like for everyone to introduce themselves quickly as we do have several new faces with us this year. Those of you who are new to the district, I’ll also introduce you to your mentor teacher for the year.”
Each of the teachers before me stands when it’s their turn and gives their name, how many years they’ve been teaching and what grade they teach this year, so when it gets to be my turn, I know exactly what to do.
“Hello. I’m Tate Lowe, new to the district this year. New to the state, actually. This will be my tenth year as an elementary teacher, but my first working here.”
“Welcome Ms. Lowe. And your mentor teacher for the year is…” She checks her spreadsheet. “Ms. Foster.”
A friendly woman who looks to be about my age if not a little younger seated at the table next to me waves her hand. “That’s me.” She leans over the table and whispers, “We’ll talk after this.”
I give her a confident smile. “Sounds good.”
Once it gets around to her, my new mentor stands to introduce herself and I commit her words to my memory so I don’t have to ask her name again later.
“Hi.” She smiles. “I’m Rory Foster. This is my sixth-year teaching kindergarten right here at Riverside Elementary School.”
Rory Foster.
Sixth year.
Kindergarten.
Not much different from me!
“Fantastic.” Mrs. Charbly beams. “It’s great to see so many smiling faces this morning. We’ve done so much these past couple months to prepare you all for a strong year, so allow me to go over a few key points with you.”
___
“So, we’ll spend some time together here in the next couple of weeks and go over your goals for the year and your instruction plan. It’s all pretty simple, really,” Rory explains. “Probably even more so for you, Tate, since you’ve taught before. You know how to do all this stuff. It’ll just be making sure everything complies to Illinois state standards in case for some reason there are big discrepancies between here and where you used to teach.”
“Sounds great. I can’t wait.”
“What else can we help you guys with as you prepare for the year?” another teacher seated at our lunch table asks those of us who are new to the district. My new friend Nina and I have gotten along very well this morning. I can tell she’ll be a great working partner and I’m already excited to plan out our lessons together. Her mentor teacher’s name is Shelly who seems to also be friends with my mentor, Rory.
“You guys have been so helpful all morning. Really,” I tell them. “Even knowing where to go to grab the best cup of coffee or sandwich at lunchtime is a huge help. But also thank you for pointing out which die-cut machine works best. God knows I’ll spend hours in front of that thing.”
Nina puts her hand on mine. “Girl, same. My wheels have been turning ever since I saw plans for butterfly life stages and the hatching of baby chicks in the spring. Oh, the fun we can have with craft time, am I right?”
“Totally,” I cringe. “But I should tell you now, I’m a little bit of a glitter whore. I’m a sucker for all things sparkly.”
Rory gives me an excited high five. “YAAASS QUEEN! We are all about the sparkle in our hallway!” She lowers her voice as if she’s sharing a secret. “Also, it makes me laugh every time we do a glitter craft and I get to send my kiddos home with glitter and glue everywhere. The moms probably secretly hate me, but I just smile and wave. It’s amazing.”
My stomach lurches at the thought of glue. Just thinking about the smell of glue right now makes me nauseous. “Oh, my God, the smell of glue could make me gag right now and I have no idea why, but also, you guys are so my kind of people.” I beam. “I seriously am so pumped to start this year. I’m hungry for it.”
“Speaking of hungry, you’re going to work up an appetite for sure.” Shelly gestures to my Ziplock back of goldfish I’ve been munching on. “You’re going to need a bigger lunch than that.”
Rory takes note of my snack lunch. “Truth.” She pops a grape into her mouth. “If you need a sandwich shop or fast-food recommendation, I’m happy to point them out. Oh, and there’s always a microwave and fridge here so don’t hesitate to bring leftovers.”
“Oh, trust me, I love to cook and I usually eat more than this. My stomach has just been in knots the last few days and for whatever reason these stupid little fish are the only things that don’t make me nauseous.”
Nina’s brow furrows. “Uh oh. What’s that about?”
“Probably just nerves. First time moving away from my hometown. New home. New job. Once my divorce was finalized, I wanted to make some big changes and I did, soooo, I think I’m just settling in, you know?”
Shelly shrugs. “Or you’re pregnant.”
All heads turn to me and then back to Shelly.
“What?” She lifts her shoulder again. “When I was pregnant with my son, Zander, I couldn’t have their homemade slime in my house because the smell alone made me vomit. And I ate goldfish crackers like my life depended on it. There was always a bag in my purse.”
“I remember that,” Rory exclaims with a chuckle. “I used to raid your stash whenever I was hungry.
“Bitch.” Shelly winks. “Who steals a pregnant woman’s snacks? Only you, that’s who.”
“Sorry not sorry. You didn’t gain a ton of baby weight so you’re welcome.”
As the ladies are talking, I’m rolling back through details of the last couple months in my head.
When was my last period?
I can’t even remember.
I can’t be pregnant.
Not possible.
Right? Like, it can’t be possible.
Last person I slept with?
Haven’t slept with Michael in over a year.
Haven’t slept with anyone el…wait.
Key West.
Ben Dover.
Could it be?
Have I had a period since then?
He wore a condom, didn’t he?
I’m nearly certain.
I don’t think I’ve had a period since before Key West.
He’s the only one I’ve been with since my divorce.
If I’m pregnant…oh shit.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Fuck.
Dammit.
Hell.
“Hey, you okay?” Nina shakes me from my inner thoughts. “Your face is white.” Shelly and Rory turn their attention to me as well.
“Shit, Nina’s right. You do look a little pale, Tate.” Rory touches my forehead like a mom checking her kid. “No fever though.”
My stomach churns and I know I’m about to be sick. There isn’t even time for me to run so I’m more than grateful when Shelly reacts swiftly, grabbing a small trash can and shoving it in front of me. I turn my head away from the table and lose all the goldfish I had just eaten along with the saltines I had for breakfast.
“Maybe it’s the flu,” I hear Rory suggest.
“Not the flu.” Shelly shakes her head. “I would bet anything.” She eyes me across the table as she sips her water. “Is it possible?”
Swallowing the huge uncomfortable knot in my throat, I nod. “I guess it’s…possible.”
Shelly winks, a knowing smirk crawling across her face. “I knew it. I’ve been pregnant enough times to recognize it anywhere.”
Rory’s eyes grow and her jaw drops. “Oh, my God Tate! You’re pregnant?” she coos. “Oh, my God this will be so much fun! I’ll be the best honorary aunt this kid has ever known.”
Tears spring to my eyes and they’re anything but happy ones. Holding my head in my hand I murmur, “How could this have happened?”
“Must’ve been some big dick energy, am I right?” Shelly asks.
I look around at my new friends and suddenly I want to crawl into a hole and stay there for the rest of my days. This was not what I had in mind when I set out for a new job and a new home and a new me. I wanted big changes, yes, but not like this. How am I supposed to do this all on my own?
“Who was it? Do you know the guy?” Rory asks.
I shake my head, embarrassed at what I’m about to admit. “Just some guy I hooked up with on vacation. I didn’t even know his name.”
“Oooh,” Nina swoons. “So, it was some big dick energy.”
I nod slowly remembering the way he made me feel that night.
The multiple orgasms he gifted me.
The way he came when I touched him.
Pleasured him.
His sweet demeanor afterward.
“It was…” I sigh. “It was an amazing night, and one I’ve thought about often.”
“Did he wear a condom? Have you been with anyone else?”
“He did wear a condom and no. There’s been nobody else. Not before, not after.”
“So. If you are pregnant, there’s no doubt it’s his.”
“No doubt.” I shake my head bewildered. “I just can’t believe we never talked about where we were from. I mean I told him I was moving from Michigan but I don’t think I ever mentioned where I was moving to, and he never spoke a word of where he was from. Florida is filled with a shit ton of people. He could be anybody anywhere.” I squeeze my eyes closed. “What the hell am I going to do?”
Rory tenderly grips my arm. “First of all, you’re going to take a deep breath. This could be something or it could be nothing. You won’t know until you test.”
“Yeah.” I nod. “True.”
“And if it’s positive, Shelly and I will make sure you get into a good doctor because prenatal care is important and you shouldn’t wait. How long ago was vacation?”
“Uh, a couple months. Mid-May.
“Okay so you could potentially be…” Rory counts in her head. “Ten to twelve weeks?”
“Shit. Yeah, I guess so?”
This knowledge isn’t making me feel any better. Have I seriously been pregnant all summer and just didn’t know it?
“God, how could I be so stupid?” I lay my head in my palm.
“You’re not stupid, Tate. Sometimes women have no idea they’re pregnant. Some women don’t get the same symptoms. Or maybe you’re not pregnant at all. You want some company when you take the test this evening? I’m more than willing to be there for moral support.”
Nina raises her hand. “Me too.”
“I’m sorry but I already have rugrats I have to pick up at daycare after work.” Shelly frowns. “But I’ll be there in spirit.”
“Thanks ladies, but I think I can manage it alone.”
“Okay, but you know we’re going to be sitting by our phones, right? You had better keep us posted!”
“I promise as soon as I know, you’ll know.”
Rory takes my hand. “You’re going to be okay, Tate. I promise.”
“I seriously don’t know what I would do without you ladies. Is it weird to say this has been singularly one of the most frightening days of my life?”
“This is nothin’, sweetheart.” Shelly waves her hand. “Wait till you have to push a nine-pound watermelon out of that pretty little cooch with no drugs because you dilated too fast.”
Rory looks at her friend with wide eyes. “Not helping Shell.”
She cringes. “Oh, sorry. You’ll be fine. Really.”
I’m fucked.
So totally fucked.