SWNOVELS Between Never and Forever: Part 2 – Chapter 25
I knocked on Dex’s office door days after that fateful rehearsal. It was early in the morning, but I still tried because I couldn’t stand that we were back to formalities. He’d walked by me in the hallway these past few days with just short hellos and head nods.
How could we be back to that after everything we shared?
And my opening show was tonight. The show he’d single-handedly gotten changed for me. Could I perform it after how he’d kissed me on that stage and then been practically radio silent after?
There was no talk of breakfast or meals, even if I texted him. Instead, Penelope would respond minutes later, like she was intercepting the messages, and proceed to tell me he was busy. I knew something between us had bonded and then broken after my song in rehearsal. But the show opener was important to me, and for some reason, I wanted him to say something.
Anything.
Yet, his silence on the other side of that door spoke volumes, and it set the tone of my mood that day. Especially when I saw the flowers throughout the kitchen. Lilies and roses and peonies, all from different people. Other celebrities. Other singers. From Dimitri. From Bane. From people at the record label.
From Ezekiel. I’ll see you soon.
I should have been excited, should have had adrenaline pumping through my veins and revving my insides up for the show. Nerves had me rattled instead, and that note had my stomach revolting. I crinkled up the little paper card and threw it in the trash.
Mitchell called to say the sponsorships were rolling in, that talk shows wanted us to be on them, that I was sold out, and that the PR stunt was working, that I’d better not fuck it up.
“Frankie said you and Dex had changes. I told him to do what Dex said, but you better not be doing something crazy. We’ve got people there tonight.” He said it pointedly, and I knew exactly the type of people he meant.
“Probably best for him to keep his distance with Dex around, Mitchell,” I reminded him.
“Just be discreet, Keelani. Ezekiel is a major shareholder. It’s not like it’s Ethan coming to your dressing room. I don’t have to tell you this.” His lecture had my stomach curdling. He went on and on, and I lost more and more of my excitement for the night.
Should I have told Mitchell I was sick of being bossed around by him? That I didn’t even intend to listen to Frankie about my show? Should I have told him I was done listening? That if that man came into my fitting room, I was most likely going to rebel in a way I never had?
I took deep breaths as Olive continued to work on my hair. Meanwhile, I hollowly agreed to everything my manager voiced to me on the phone.
When I hung up, she leaned in. “You got this, Kee?”
Pink answered for me. “Of course she’s got this. Remember, you do you out there. Oh, and we got in the chair you requested.”
“It’s lined in velvet?” I asked just to be sure it was the right one. I wanted that chair to be sexy but classy as I sang a few of the songs at the end of my concert. The tantric chair would help to represent that.
“Of course.” Pink winked at me and then turned to D. “Dimitri, where’s your insufferable brother?”
Dimitri sat in my dressing room on the couch, staring at the door. “I’m wondering the same damn thing.”
“He’s probably working,” I muttered. Even if this was a PR stunt, it still hurt that he hadn’t come to wish me good luck, that he hadn’t opened his door, that he didn’t want to.
He was protecting his heart from me while I swam out to him with mine in my hand, ready to throw it to him without a lifeline. And as if on cue, the door opened, but standing behind it wasn’t Dex.
It was Bane.
“What are you doing here?” Pink’s eyes narrowed first on me and then on the overpowering presence that the man had. Every time he was in a room, it shifted to a darker place, like his all-black suit radiated foreboding along with his stone-cold stare. And it cooled even further as he looked at Pink.
“Here to wish Keelani a good night, Bianca. That okay with you?”
“Bianca?” I blurted out. “Is that your name?”
Pink waved the blush brush at me. “Oh, like Keelani is really your name?”
“It is.”
“Makes sense if it’s true.” She squinted at me, ready to call my bluff.
“It is,” Olive confirmed and then pried into our new friend’s life. “Why Pink instead of Bianca?”
“The hair of course.” She said it so fast, we both looked at her.
My eyes drifted to Bane. I saw a small smile, one that didn’t even seem to belong on his serious face, playing on his lips as he watched Pink squirm. Then he said, “That’s not what I recall—”
“Quiet,” she hissed at him. “Bane thinks he can use Bianca even though it’s from my past, but”—she looked at him then—“he can’t.”
He hummed but didn’t fight her on it. His piercing gaze was back on me instead. “Keelani, it’s been a pleasure for my crew within the resort to work with you so far. I’m sorry I haven’t been around more, but I wanted to stop by and let you know that if you need anything, make sure to alert Dex or me. Your time here is important to all of us. We’ve done lighting and sound checks. The theater is filled. And extra security measures have been implemented at Dex’s request.”
The man rattled off things that normally would have been managed by my security team and creative director. “Frankie and the security team—”
“We’re very thorough here, Ms. Hale. It’s the Black and HEAT names, after all. Your new security team is being briefed, but at this time, we will have our security crew handling your stay.”
Dimitri hadn’t said a thing from the couch he sat on, but he muttered, “About time.” And then his eyes met mine. “Our team’s the best, Keelani. You’re taken care of. I would have done it myself, but Dex had already put the wheels in motion.”
“Oh.” I frowned. Dex hadn’t told me anything about it, but telling the whole room that my fiancé and I weren’t really talking felt a little ridiculous. “Okay. Well, thank you.”
Dimitri sighed as he closed the laptop that rested on his legs and stood. He waved away Olive who was behind me, and Pink scoffed as he came to stand behind me in the mirror. “Don’t thank me when you’re the one getting on stage here, Kee. I know what it means. You sold out.”
Bane looked between us before he nodded. “We appreciate you.” He didn’t say anything else, yet most everyone in that room murmured words of encouragement and affirmation after him.
They told me I was the star. I was the show. I was giving them all a gift with my voice.
When I asked for a minute alone, I only shed one tear staring at myself in the lighted mirror. I had a full face of makeup, smoky eyes, my dark hair curled in soft waves down over my shoulders. My dress was short, shimmery, and swayed if I sashayed just a little.
Beauty could wrap up emotions and package them as perfection.
I took deep breaths before walking out there, deep and measured and shaky. I reminded myself it was only a few months of doing this for my family, and then I’d be done.
I called my dad, trying my best to breathe. “How’s Mom?”
“Isn’t your concert in a few minutes?”
“I think… I’m tired, Dad. I feel like I might need to…” My voice cracked.
“Oh, Keelani. Honey, get a drink of water. You’re going to be all right. You’ve done shows like this over and over and over again, huh?”
I closed my eyes tight. “Sometimes I just want to be singing in my room with her one more time, Dad. One more time.”
He sighed. “Want me to try to get her to sing?”
“No.” I fisted my hand tight at my side. What was I doing? They didn’t need this now. “I’m sorry. I just needed a second. I’m fine.”
“Of course you are, honey.” My father always reassured me of that. “If you want, I can come there for a few days.”
I didn’t know if it was his attempt to get into a casino or to be a father. The question gutted me either way, along with the fact that I couldn’t know and the fact that I couldn’t ask. “No, Dad. I’m fine. I gotta go, but I’m fine. Tell her I love her.”
“We love you too, Keelani. Don’t forget that. We love you very much and are very proud of you.”
When I hung up, I took a deep breath, but it was different now. I was stronger after I reminded myself this was for them. My focus was there, and I stepped out on stage with a brilliant smile on my face. I didn’t drop the mask. And the music took me away to a world where I could escape the burdens I carried.
I looked out at the crowd and saw they were on that journey with me. I sang of love and home and heartbreak, but the music soothed me…until the end. I only had four songs left to sing. All of them were different. I’d done a costume change into a classic cocktail dress and slid silk gloves on over my engagement ring.
On the stage, the lights were lowered. The dancers were gone. The projectors and glitter and the distractions were all gone.
All that was in the middle of that stage now was the velvet chair I’d requested, my mic, and me.
I stood there, emotionally vulnerable in front of everyone. I glanced one last time at the side stage as I told the crowd I was giving them something a bit new but something old and dear to my heart.
And that’s when I saw him.
The lights were on me, but my soul gravitated to where he stood with Dimitri. They were both watching me. Each had their arms crossed, looking so much like one another. Yet, Dexton Hardy stole my heart with his sad smile. His eyes were locked on mine as he mouthed, You can do anything.
And I felt, right then and there, that I could. As the fans clapped for me, as a girl cried out she loved me, that I’d saved her, I knew I could. No one had ever told me I could do anything on the stage, but suddenly I wanted to.
“Words and writing music saved me, you know that? It brought me back from the depths of hell, and I think it will again. I’m working on writing some more songs that I hope others, not just me, will sing one day. Tonight, you’ll have to hear it from me though.”
I spoke what I wanted out into the universe for my most dedicated fans, and they screamed like they believed in me. As their camera lights swayed to the beat of my first two songs, I glanced back at the Hardy brothers. Dex clapped my best friend on his shoulder and nodded at me before he stepped back into the darkness. He was determined to let the spotlight be only on me and not on us. We didn’t need it in that moment. He was giving me this, and I’d be forever grateful.
I turned back to the crowd and swayed to the violins lifting us all up into a different space. We were on clouds, flying high in the notes, and I was suddenly free of every worry.
Until I saw him in the crowd.
Ezekiel.
He’d probably gotten a ticket from Mitchell, and I hated that his presence affected me. I cut the show short, looking to my band and signaling it was over.
I accommodated his presence, let him shrink me and protected the one song I should have sung. But it was one I held too dear to expose to him. I didn’t want my creativity and my heart tarnished with the memory of him being there. When we’ve dealt with trauma before, we protect what we love—especially when so many memories are already marred with pain.
So I ended the set early and was met by the head of security, Jimmy, as I walked off stage. He spoke into his comms, listening through the earpiece, and then he offered me his arm. “Only if you feel comfortable, Ms. Keelani, but I’ll be walking you to your dressing room after every show. And it’s easier for me to protect you if you’re by my side.”
His large smile and the way he actually asked made me immediately slide my hand through the crook of his arm. “Thank you,” I murmured.
We turned the corner toward the dressing room, and there stood Ezekiel. He was tall, with a dusting of gray at the temples of his dark-blond hair. His sunken eyes always made me wonder if he ever slept or just indulged in drug after drug to keep up his lifestyle. “Keelani!” He almost purred my name.
“Ezekiel, it’s my understanding you’re with Trinity Enterprises and were approved as a backstage guest.” Jimmy looked at a sheet he’d been given. “My team is going to clear her room before your meeting.”
With that, two men passed us, and Ezekiel raised an eyebrow. “Fancy, Keelani. You’re getting the superstar treatment now, I see.”
I smiled without letting my mask slip. The deep breaths I took were for my family.
“I think anyone at HEAT gets this type of treatment.” I waved away his comment and turned to Jimmy as his two guys exited my room. “We good?”
Jimmy nodded, but he searched my eyes for a beat longer than I wanted him to before he said, “We’ll be outside your door if you need us.”
Ezekiel chuckled but stepped back for me to walk in before he closed the door behind him. He lifted a brow as if he wanted an explanation. “You telling people I’m dangerous or something, Keelani?”
His tone was joking but I knew that look. “Of course not. It’s just protocol here.”
He hummed and stepped over to my vanity where he looked at more flowers that had been delivered. Dimitri always sent some to my residence before the show and had some sent after to my dressing room.
“Dimitri’s still sniffing around as always, I see.”
“He’s a great friend.”
Ezekiel turned his eyes on me, and they looked more wild than normal. “Is his brother a great fiancé?” He glanced down at my ring.
I cleared my throat and tried my best to stand my ground. “Ezekiel, I appreciate you coming, but I have a lot to do before I go home.”
He curled his lip. The thing about a man in power was that he thought he always had power. Ezekiel exercised it in the worst way. “It’s a PR stunt, isn’t it? Just for the label, though?” He dragged his thin finger along my arm down to my ring where he tapped it.
“Dex and I have a long history.” I wanted to explain without explaining because I needed him to leave. My eyes flicked toward the door. My heart rate picked up at the thought of making a run for it. Would I be able to outrun him? So quick did a woman’s mind have to weigh her options around sleazy men. He shouldn’t have had that power over me but he did when I knew the record label wanted me to appease him.
All the more reason to get out from under the record label as soon as possible. Then, his influence wouldn’t matter.
“Not as long or as good of a history as we have, I hope.” Ezekiel had been around since I was young. His stares were always lingering, his hands always grabby, and his intentions always murky. In the last few years, though, he’d started coming to my shows. A lot of them. And I’d get flowers and lingering kisses on the cheek. He’d send me pictures of myself from afar, like he’d been stalking me.
I never felt alone…until I got here. Here in this casino, I felt like maybe I’d be safe. Yet, I’d miscalculated. “Our history is great. I appreciate all you’ve done for me as an artist with the record label, Ezekiel.”
A woman can feel a man caging them in like an animal. The instinct is there to run, but the social norms hold us back. We question our sanity, our gut reaction, our rationality. Even still, I measured the length of the room and estimated how fast I could get to the door.
I considered, too, how Ezekiel would make it sound. If I didn’t endure an advance, if he wasn’t caught in one, then it would be my word against his. He’d win, and the thought had my throat almost closing in disgust and resignation.
When he shuffled forward and wrapped an arm around my waist, I whispered, “I think you should go.” But the sound was meek, soft, and too nice.
I’d been so freaking nice to him over the years, even smiling when his hands grazed over me in a way they shouldn’t. “Why would I go, Keelani?” he said in my ear, and I smelled the rancid stench of alcohol on his breath as he pushed his length against my stomach. “I’ve been excited to see you all night.”
“I’ll scream, Ezekiel,” I warned, but it was hollow and empty. My bravery was shrinking.
The laugh that rumbled out of him showed he didn’t believe me. “You won’t, Keelani. Can you imagine the scandal? I’d ruin you, this resort, and your family. You’re my little sweetheart. You would never.”
His mouth dragged across my neck, and I felt the tears as I stood without moving. I was frozen in shame and fear immediately. How could I let this be happening?
Yet, how was I supposed to know how to confront a man taking advantage of me? I’d be practically trained by the record label to allow it, to just endure. I’d known this day would come, where he’d take advantage of me like he had so many others. I knew so many women before me had been told to keep quiet about him, to not cause a scene, He was too influential. He’d ruin me and everyone close to me.
And I was in Dimitri and Dex’s resort. I couldn’t bring that publicity onto them. I stayed quiet so as not to cause a scene everyone would have to navigate later. I didn’t need this spreading in the news I didn’t need Ezekiel going to the label about me.
I told myself to take a deep breath, but instead a gasp flew out of me as the door swung open and Dex Hardy stood on the other side of it. His eyes were full of rage, his hands balled into fists, his suit almost too tight around his body as it strained against his muscles. “Ezekiel Ballister, get your hands off my fiancée.”
“Oh, I wasn’t— Of course. It’s…uh…great to meet you. Keelani was just telling me how this arrangement is fake between you two.” Ezekiel chuckled and pulled at the collar of his shirt before he glared at me like I was supposed to come to his rescue.
“Kee.” Dex rasped out my name and his eyebrows dipped as he looked at me with such emotion that I almost broke down as he breathed out, “Heartbreaker, tell me you’ll leave the room while Ezekiel and I chat.”
He was warning me. Giving me an out. It was an invitation to excuse me from what he was about to unleash, something he thought I didn’t want to see.
It was a turning point for me. I wasn’t the sweetheart Ezekiel thought I was. I wouldn’t be ever again.
“I want to stay, Dex.”