Beneath the surface: Forbidden love

Chapter 38



Kael

My Dearest Kael

This is the most difficult letter I've ever had to write, and the words escape me as I attempt to convey the depth of my feelings. You are my heart's greatest treasure, the love of my life, and it's with a heavy heart that I must embark on a journey of self-discovery, a journey I must undertake alone.

I want you to understand that this isn't a goodbye forever, I will return to you if by then you will still choose to still have me as your mate. I need to find my own path, to explore the depths of my soul, and to uncover the person I am meant to be. It's not that I'm leaving you, but that I'm seeking a deeper understanding of myself, so that when I return, I can offer you the purest, most authentic version of me.

I believe in the strength of our love, a love that is unbreakable. I know it might be difficult, and I fear that my absence will cause you pain, for that is the last thing I want. But please, trust that this journey is necessary for me to grow, to become the best version of myself, and ultimately, to be the partner you deserve.

One day, when I have discovered the depths of my own soul and found the answers I seek, I promise to return to you. I have no doubt that time and distance will only strengthen the bond we share, and in the end, our love will be even more profound.

I hope, with all my heart, that you can find it within you to forgive me for this choice. Please know that every moment I am away, I carry you with me, and my love for you only deepens. You are the love of my life, and I am certain that our paths will cross again.

Until then, my heart belongs to you, and it always will.

With all my love,

Marisela

Reading her letter, my heart shatters into a thousand pieces. Each word feels like a dagger, each sentence an echo of my own pain.

The tears well up, blurring my vision, as I grapple with the weight of her decision. It is as though a storm has engulfed the serene sea of our love, leaving nothing but a desolate shoreline in its wake.

The room seems to close in around me, and every memory of our time together rushes back like a tidal wave of emotions. The warmth of her laughter, the touch of her hand- all of it now feels like fragments of a dream slipping through my fingers.

As I read her words, I can't help but feel like a piece of me has been torn away, leaving an empty space that I know would be difficult to fill.

How could I have been so selfish in my own feelings, that I didn't realize how much my own actions were slowly pushing her away. Now it's too late.

She's gone.

Each sentence in the letter feels like a searing brand, a testament to my shortcomings and the choices I could have made differently. The realization that she felt compelled to embark on a journey of self-discovery without me, a journey I might have hindered, fills me with an ache that's difficult to bear.

Regret coils like a knot in my chest, knowing that I may never see her again, and the "what ifs" and "if onlys" echo through my mind. The weight of my own decisions and their consequences is a bitter pill to swallow. I am left with an overwhelming sense of longing and self-recrimination, a powerful reminder of how regret can be the most haunting and unforgiving of emotions.

As I wallow in the depths of my heartbreak, each moment feels like an eternity. The world outside is a distant echo, and I'm ensnared by the web of sorrow that's woven around me. The room is a sanctuary of solitude where my tears flow unchecked, and my thoughts are a chaotic storm.

Then, like a jarring bolt of lightning in the midst of my emotional tempest, a knock at the door pierces the melancholy. I sit up, startled and disoriented, my heart pounding in my chest. Time seems to hang suspended as I contemplate the interruption.

Who could it be, and what could they possibly want at a time like this?

The uncertainty mounts, and I hesitate, torn between the desire to remain cocooned in my grief and the curiosity about the visitor's identity. With each moment that passes, the knock becomes more insistent, pulling me back to the world beyond my sorrow. It's a reminder that life, with all its unpredictability, continues to march forward even when my own world has momentarily crumbled.

As I open the door I am greeted by a familiar face. Her eyes soften as she takes in my appearance.

"Mom." My voice breaks, and instantly she pulls me into her arms. It was as if she knew how my heart was breaking.

I don't pull away at her embrace, instead I allow it, and soak in the love and warmth that she offers in my time of heartache.

My mother's embrace is like a lifeline thrown to a drowning man. Her arms envelop me, and it's as if she senses the storm within me, the tempest of emotions that threaten to consume my very soul. In her warm and comforting hug, I find solace and refuge from the overwhelming weight of my pain.

Her touch is gentle, yet it carries the strength of a thousand assurances.

"She's gone." I repeat the words I thought to myself. My mom slowly pulls away to asses the look in my eyes. I can see in her own how her heart breaks at the sight of seeing her only son broken.

"She will return son, I know she will." She reassures me, but I find it hard to believe it, even though Marisela said so in her letter.

A part of me, although broken, I fail to understand why she would just leave. She couldn't even say it to my face, instead she wrote a letter. I couldn't help the slight tinge of anger I have towards my mate.

My entire world falls and crumbles beneath my feet, but I have to stay strong. I have an entire kingdom that depends on me, and even though I am hurt, I have to push those feelings aside.

Marisela left me, sooner or later I will have to come to terms with that and accept what has already been done. It was her choice to leave, and it is too late for me to stop her.

I can feel my wolfs heartbreak, he wanted so badly to be let out, but I know if I give in to his will, he will do something that we will both later regret. He was yearning for his mate, I could feel his own anger too. But what's done is done and Marisela made her choice.

She's gone, and I have to live with her choice.

A chilling transformation takes hold of me. It's as if an icy, unforgiving wind has swept through my soul, freezing the warmth and hope that once resided there. The world loses its vibrancy, and I become a prisoner of my own thoughts.

The walls I build around me grow higher and colder, a fortress against further pain. I feel myself become distant and guarded. In this state of emotional frost, I struggle to find the path back to warmth, but for now, it's as if I'm trapped in a desolate, frozen landscape of my own making.

"Don't, Kael." My mother says, her tears fall freely down her face, pleading with me. "Don't do this now, she will return Kael."

But it's too late, the switch is already turned.

I embrace a primal, instinctual side, much like the wolf within me, which now takes precedence. It's a dark and harrowing transformation, a descent into a void of unfeeling, but in this numbness, I hope to shield myself from the agonizing truth of my mate leaving me.

A darkness descends, and I find myself turning off my humanity. It's as if a switch has been flipped within, and my emotions, the very core of what makes me human, begin to dim.


Tip: You can use left, right, A and D keyboard keys to browse between chapters.