Bend Me, Daddy

Enzo

Luca's voice, low and urgent, filtered through the fog of rage that blocked out everything and everyone other than the woman standing in front of the altar. He grabbed the front of my shirt, and slowly, the red haze on the outskirts of my vision shifted.

"Enzo. Listen to me. You cannot react." I tried to look around him, but he wouldn't allow it. "This is what he wants. He's using her to get to you, hoping you'll start something. I know what you're feeling. Trust me, I do. But if you do anything right now except sit back down in that fucking pew, it will give him the excuse he needs to take me out. To take all of us out. So sit the fuck down. We can't win this, my friend. Not today."

What he was saying finally infiltrated, and I blinked as his pale face came into focus, his blue eyes wide and locked on mine through the lenses of my sunglasses as he tried to get through to me. "Sit. The. Fuck. Down," he ordered. "Do not make a scene."

I wanted to obey him. I've always obeyed him, ever since he rose to the position of underboss and Tristan and I vowed it with blood and honor. But I couldn't think. Couldn't move.

A soft hand took mine.

"Enzo."

I looked down to see Veda's hand gripping mine, and then my eyes rose to her face. She was scared. I didn't like it when she was scared.

"Please," she whispered.

The music had stopped. We were the only ones left standing. Abruptly, I took my seat, still holding Veda's hand to anchor me to the spot. With a sigh of relief, Luca sat down on her other side. Tristan said something to him and he shook his head, then smiled at Veda and took her other hand before giving his attention to the people standing at the front of the church.

I stared straight ahead as the priest began the ceremony. I couldn't look at Luigi's new bride. Couldn't watch as she agreed to spend the rest of her life with a man who was old enough to be her father. Or grandfather, even. A man who had ordered me to kill my wife without an ounce of emotion.

And I had. I'd done it. To prove my loyalty to him and his son. A loyalty he didn't deserve.

I felt Luigi's eyes on me. He was fucking enjoying this. He expected me to make a scene, perhaps threaten his life, just as Luca said. As a matter of fact, I'd bet he was counting on it.

But I wouldn't give him the fucking satisfaction. So I sat my ass in the pew and showed nothing of what I was feeling, even as I burned alive from the inside out, the back of my neck prickling from the curious eyes of many of the guests wondering what the fuck was going on. But I refused to show any reaction to the fact that the woman who haunted my every waking moment and possessed my dreams was marrying a man I hated. Inside, however, I was screaming.

As the ceremony dragged out, the roar in my head grew louder until I could only hope my memories of this day would become nothing but one big blur. However, that wasn't the case. For I would remember every specific detail, each one like a razor blade cutting into my skin over and over and over again. The priest droning on and on. The restless movements of the guests. And the murmured responses of the man and woman standing in front of the altar.

At one point, I must've moved or made some sound, for I saw Luca lean over Veda in my peripheral.

"Keep it together, Enz."

I glanced over at him and then down at my hands fisted in my lap. Slowly, I relaxed them.

Sera's shaky voice penetrated my violent thoughts. "I, Serafina Cordaro, take you...Luigi Morelli, for my lawful husband. To have and to...hold... from this day forward...for better, for worse...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health..." Her voice tapered off, and I couldn't stop myself from finding her, standing there looking so fucking beautiful she burned my eyes and made my heart skip.

"...until death do us part," she finally finished.

The buzzing began in my ears and slowly spread throughout my body until I was physically shaking with the need to pull out my gun and shoot the man standing in front of her. Only Veda's hand on my arm stopped me from doing it. If I shot Luigi here, in front of so many of his friends, the entire place would erupt into gunfire. Sera could be harmed. Or Veda. Or any of the other innocent women or children in the church.

I couldn't be the cause of such a slaughter. Not again.

So I tore my eyes away from her and kept my ass on that hard, wooden pew, stewing in my rage and disbelief as this hoax of a ceremony went on, and I stared at the statue in front of me until the scar below my left eye throbbed painfully with every beat of my heart. The scar from the bullet I'd taken.

For her.

To save her.

The crowded church erupted into cheers as Luca's father put his slimy mouth on my Sera's sweet lips. Lucky for him, he kept it short and sweet, or I wouldn't have been able to control my reaction no matter what the consequences. By the time the music started again and the newly married bride and groom turned to face their guests before making their way back down the aisle together, every muscle in my body ached from holding myself so still in the pew.

I jumped out of my seat and crossed in front of my friends, shaking off the hands that tried to stop me. I stood at the head of the aisle, watching the woman I wanted more than anything in this life walk away from me as another man's wife. I could shoot him right now in the back of the head. Easily. All I had to do was pull out my gun and aim.

Before I realized what I was doing, my hand was sliding inside my jacket.

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The couple paused halfway down the aisle to receive congratulations. Sera stopped when Luigi did, turning her profile to me, and I saw the corner of her mouth lift into a timid smile. As though she felt me there, watching her, she looked back over her shoulder and her eyes searched for mine. They dropped down to my hand inside of my jacket, and then back up to my face. Was that a flash of hope on her perfect face? Looking away from me, she smiled again and then placed her hand inside Luigi's elbow and continued down the aisle.

Slowly, I dropped my arm back onto my side. When I turned, I found Luca watching me, waiting to see what I would do, but not trying to stop me this time. We stared at each other for a long moment, and then I took a step back and allowed my friends to walk ahead of me as we followed the other guests out of the church.

No one spoke until we were inside our vehicle with the doors closed. Tristan was driving. My hands were shaking too hard to grip the wheel.

Luca spoke from the backseat. "We need to go to the reception, and you need to be there, Enzo."

"No." I couldn't do it. I'd barely survived the ceremony.

"This is a game," Luca said. "You know it as well as I."

He was right. I did know. I knew exactly why he had married her. "He thinks we won't come for him if he has Sera."

"Exactly." Luca paused. "And he's right. If I go after him now, she will also be in danger. And not just from me, but from anyone who covets my father's position as boss."

"I don't understand," Veda said.

"There are only two ways my father will give up his position within the family. By stepping down gracefully, which we know he will not do, or if he's dead."

"You plan to kill him," Veda said, her voice soft and incredulous.

"Yes," Luca told her honestly. "That was always the plan."

I didn't have to look at her to see the horrified expression in her eyes. Veda wasn't from the world of the mafia. She didn't understand the way it worked. And sometimes, I wondered if she would survive staying with Luca. But their relationship wasn't mine to worry about. "I cannot go there," I told him.

"You must," Luca ordered.

I threw my head back against the headrest. "Jesus fucking Christ." My lungs felt tight. I couldn't breathe. I needed to get out of this fucking car. "Let me out," I told Tristan.

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"Enzo, what are you doing?" Luca asked.

"Stop the fucking car and let me OUT!"

Tristan glanced over at me and then pulled the SUV onto the side of the road. My seatbelt was off and I was out of the vehicle before it had even fully stopped. I felt like I was going to vomit.

"You didn't want her, remember? You gave her back to her father. What the hell did you think was going to happen?"

Yanking my sunglasses off, I wiped the sweat out of my eyes. "Get the fuck away from me, Luca."

He walked around in front of me, one hand shoving my shoulder so hard my back slammed into the side of the SUV. "Get it fucking together," he growled in my face. "This is what you wanted. We are going to the fucking reception, and you are going to be there with me."

"I didn't want this," I hissed at him.

He paced away from me, hands on his hips as he struggled to control his temper. When he did, he turned back to me. "I need you there, Enzo."

I shook my head. "I can't, Luca. I can't. You can't ask this of me."

His large hands cupped the sides of my head, forcing me to look at him. What he saw in my eyes made the remaining anger drain from his own. "You know I wouldn't ask this of you if I didn't have to," he said. "But if we let him win this battle, it will ruin everything that we've accomplished up until now. Everyone will think I'm a fucking coward. They will think you are a fucking coward. Everyone we've brought to our side will turn against us in a heartbeat. You know this as well as I do. And we've worked too fucking hard to let that happen. What will happen to us, to Veda-to Sera-if my father stays in power? What do you think he will do to her?" I swallowed hard, and knocked his hands away.

But he wasn't about to let me go that easily. "We need to show up, and I need you to find that place inside of you that feels nothing. I need you to go there, and stay there. We will toast to the bride and groom, I will dance with Veda, we will eat the expensive fucking food, and you will show my father that you don't care. And then, when we are ready, I will deal with my father. But not before we are ready, or it will be a death sentence for all of us."

"And what about Sera?"

Luca glanced over my shoulder to where Veda remained in the car waiting for him, and I knew he was trying to put himself in my shoes. "She's strong, and she knows what's expected of her. She will survive until we can get her." Luca reached for my shoulder and placed a comforting hand there. "It won't be long now. I should have enough of the family on my side within a few weeks. She'll be okay until then."

That may be true, but I didn't know if I would be.

"We have to do this, Enzo."

I closed my eyes and breathed in through my nose, trying to find that place he spoke of. It used to be more easily accessible. After another few minutes, I nodded, and hid the last of my emotions behind my sunglasses. We got back into the SUV, and Tristan took us to the reception.