Bend Me, Daddy

VEDA

The days came and went, and I spent them in equal parts bliss and terror.

Ever since our excursion on the boat, Luca was different. And so was I, if I was going to be honest. It was like the rubber band of events that kept pulling me back to him had snapped, and this time-this time-I was with him because I wanted to be with him.

Because I was beginning to care way too much.

It wasn't because he was suddenly a sweet talker or anything like that. No, Luca was still the same fucked up, possessive asshole he'd always been. But something had changed. He never went more than a couple of hours before he'd find me in the house. And he always looked slightly panicked until he could touch me again.

And he was always touching me. If we were in the same room, he wanted me beside him, his hand wrapped around my hip, resting on my thigh, or tangled in my hair. At night, in bed, after he'd tasted every inch of my body in the most delicious ways, he would pull me close and wrap his arms and legs around me, unable to sleep until I was cocooned against him, oftentimes with one hand cupped between my legs or gripping one of my breasts. I had the feeling he would soak me into his skin if he could.

It made me feel needed. Wanted. Safe. The game we'd been playing over. I was no longer a piece on the board he moved around according to his will, because he knew the stakes were too high. If he lost this time, he would lose me again. And this time, I wouldn't come back. He could force me to live here. He could take my body. But he would never have my heart again. Not like he did now.

Every look, every touch, every word was precious to me because with every second that ticked by, I knew our time was coming to an end. And I didn't want to waste it.

On the third day, I still hadn't been able to get any information for Mario. Of course, I hadn't really been trying either. I'd just been going through the moments, hoping some miracle would come along and save me from having to do it. But nothing ever did.

With time running out, I became desperate. I had to get something, anything, to get Mario off my back and Luca off his radar.

Luca was in his gym working out, and I knew he'd be there for at least an hour, if not longer. Enzo was with him, and I hadn't seen Tristan all morning, so he must be off on some errand or maybe getting some down time. I normally joined Luca for at least some of that time to go over my self-defense lessons, but I'd bowed out today claiming I hadn't slept well last night.

This was my only chance.

My bare feet were silent on the hard floors as I hurried past the kitchen and down the hall toward Luca's office. Slipping inside, I quietly shut the door behind me, my heart pounding in my throat. Turning around, my eyes landed on his desk. Taking a deep breath for courage, I hurried across the room and sat down in his chair. Ignoring the voice in my head that told me this was wrong, that I was betraying the man I cared about, I jiggled the mouse until the monitor came on. It was password locked, of course. "Shit."

I didn't even know where to start guessing what his password was. And it made me realize, I didn't even know when his birthday was. Or where he was born. Or anything about his life growing up. Did he have a pet? Did he like school? What kind of a boy was he? And would I be alive long enough to discover these things about him? Because I really, really wanted to.

Setting aside those kinds of thoughts, I started picking up papers on his desk, hoping I'd find something that would give any kind of a clue of the supposed deal Mario was wanting info on.

As I searched, I thought again about just telling Luca everything. But still, I hesitated. Luca didn't trust easily, and if I told him I'd been sent back to him as a rat to get information for his brother, he'll wonder why I'm just telling him now. Maybe he won't believe me when I tell him I was angry, and scared, and that up until a few days ago, a tiny part of me wanted to do it, to get back at him for everything he'd done to me. Maybe he'll think I've been reporting back to Mario all along. And I knew what happened to people who crossed a man like Luca. It didn't matter how much he liked to fuck me. I'd end up just like my sister.

My adrenaline ran so high my hands were shaking and tears filled my eyes, blurring my vision. I found nothing on the desk that had any importance. Not even a random address or phone number, so I moved on to the drawers. The center one had the usual pens, whiteout, paperclips and an assortment of sticky notes. I moved to the three larger drawers on the right. The top one held notepads and more odds and ends. The middle one was full of paper for the printer. When I pulled on the third drawer, I found it was locked. I froze, trying to remember if I'd ever seen a key that might fit.

"If I were a mob boss, or whatever he is, where would I keep something like that?" The desk didn't give me any hints, but I wasn't expecting any. And besides, I think I knew. If I was a big, bad mafia guy, and I had secret files or whatever, I'd keep the key on me at all times.

Checking that everything was as I'd found it, I tiptoed across the office and put my ear to the door, listening for anyone who might be coming. When all was quiet, I cracked it open and peeked out. I heard Lisa rattling around in the kitchen, but otherwise no one was around. Hurrying now, I made it to the stairs without her seeing me and rushed up to Luca's room.

The slacks he'd worn today were folded neatly on a shelf in the closet with his gray button-down laid carefully over them, waiting for him to get finished with his workout. Disturbing them as little as possible, I started checking the pockets of his pants. They were all empty.

"Dammit!" I whispered.