SWNOVELS BELIEVE LIKE A CHILD: Chapter 7
car, Alessa was still sobbing. Her mother ducked inside the car quickly and settled herself. Checking her makeup in the rearview mirror, she continued her verbal assault.
“You see what happens when a woman is a bad mother? The way I see it, that woman killed her daughter. I should never have let you hang around with that Rhonda girl.”
Her blood boiling, Alessa fought back. “I love both of them. And Zoe wouldn’t have let her brother rape Rhonda for nine years and pretend not to know.”
Caterina’s response to that was to backhand Alessa, making her lip bleed. “You little bitch,” she hissed. “You’re a liar. You wait until we get you home. Then I’m gonna break your head. My brother would never do anything to hurt you. You’ll burn in hell for talking such filth about him.”
Frightened by what she had blurted out to her mother and the violent reaction it had provoked, Alessa sat in silence until they got home. She wondered if she really would burn in hell, not for the accusations she had leveled at her uncle, but for the filthy acts she had been engaging in with him. Once they were in the house, she rushed to her bedroom and took off her clothes stained with Rhonda’s blood.
She had stripped down to her underwear when her mother stormed into the room holding her favorite weapon—the metal spoon. She charged at Alessa with such speed and force that the girl had no time to defend herself against the first blow to her bare thigh. Caterina pulled back the spoon and swung again. This time Alessa blocked the blow with her hands and flinched as the spoon cracked across her knuckles. She flung herself on the bed, trying to shield her body as her mother’s blows landed randomly. One struck her on the side of her face, another on her ankle bone, and several others on her back.
Having worn herself out, Caterina finally stopped, her hand dropping to the side with the spoon dangling from it. She glared at her daughter. “Now let’s see if you dare talk back to me again. If you ever say another disgusting word about your Uncle Danny again, I’ll kill you. And don’t even dream of going to that girl’s funeral either. You’re punished until I permit you to go out again. Do you hear me?” With that, she rained three final blows on Alessa, screaming, “I’ll show you.” Then she turned and left her daughter’s bedroom.
Rosabella came in about twenty minutes later to see how her younger sister was doing and found her crying silently under the worn covers. She helped Alessa put on her pajamas, then gave her an extra sheet when she noticed her shivering.
Rosabella rubbed Alessa’s back gently. “I’m sorry about what happened to your friend. Mom is . . . well, she’s crazy. I can’t wait to get out of this house.”
As Rosabella got Alessa settled, she inevitably noticed all the fresh bruises from the metal spoon. Rosabella felt sorry for her sister, as she knew too well what a monster Caterina was and hated her for it.
The weeks that followed were hell for Alessa. As her mother had decreed, she wasn’t allowed to go to Rhonda’s funeral. She wasn’t allowed to go anywhere. To school and back. Nor could she receive phone calls. Not that it mattered. Not a soul had tried to contact her—except for Zoe. When she called one night and asked to speak with Alessa, Caterina was not in a genial mood.
“Listen, lady,” she said through clenched teeth, “Alessa is not your child. Why don’t you call some of those boyfriends you have? Your daughter is dead because you’re a tramp. I don’t want you calling my kid again. Call someone your own age.”
Alessa’s confinement to her home meant that her Uncle Danny had her at his mercy. He was rough on her, slapping and pinching in sensitive places. Sometimes, he yanked cruelly at her hair or gripped her around the neck as if he would choke her to death. Her life descended into unrelenting darkness once more, tumbling down into the cold, bottomless pit from which she had begun to escape after she met Rhonda.
Danny taunted Alessa mercilessly for complaining to Caterina about him. He laughed at his niece, reminding her that his adoring sister didn’t believe her.
Alessa’s siblings had already moved out of the house. Rosabella was the last one to go. The previous month, she had moved to a small apartment she was sharing with a friend.
The weekend before Alessa’s seventeenth birthday, her parents went to Atlantic City. Shortly after they had pulled out of the driveway, Uncle Danny went into Alessa’s bedroom. He towered in front of her. “This is going to be a great weekend, don’t you think? It’s only the two of us.”
Alessa would have given anything to die. Nothing brought her more comfort than the thought of leaving this world. She hated her family, her very existence. Now she had to endure an entire weekend alone with her uncle. She hated him with a passion. She tried to focus on the good times she had enjoyed with Rhonda, thinking about the fun they had together and the memories they had shared. Rhonda loved Alessa and believed in her. Now she was alone again, with only her demons to torment her.
On the Saturday morning after her parents left for Atlantic City, Alessa went out to the kitchen, only to find her Uncle Danny gorging himself at the kitchen table.
“My friends are coming over tonight to play poker,” he announced with a gleam of anticipation in his eyes. “I expect you to be nice to everyone.”
“I won’t get in your way,” Alessa assured him. “I’ll keep to my room.”
“No, you won’t stay in your room,” Danny said. “You will be out here with us. I promised them you’d be ‘nice’ to all of them. What I mean is, you will do whatever they want you to. Do you understand?”
“Are you talking about sex?” Alessa shrieked.
“Well, I’m certainly not talking about serving them coffee and donuts. I’m talking about being a nice girl and doing what they ask you to do. Nobody’s going to hurt you, for Christ’s sake! They want to mess around a little. Wear a T-shirt and panties tonight. That’s it. Nothing else.”
The room closed in on Alessa as the reality of what was about to happen sunk in. Her legs went weak and she felt defenseless. Her mind reeled, searching for an answer, trying to find a way out of this unimaginable situation.
She thought for a moment of calling Rosabella. What if she doesn’t believe me either?
Alessa stumbled into her bedroom and sat on the edge of her bed. What am I going to do now? How can I get out of this mess?
Then it came to her. She would sneak out and go see Zoe. She would tell her everything. Zoe would help her decide what to do. Alessa got dressed and snuck out of the house while her uncle was taking his weekly shower. He was a disgusting pig who proclaimed that showering once a week was enough. That was the reason there was a sweet, rotting smell about him all the time. Alessa ran the mile and a half to Zoe’s house.
She knocked frantically on Zoe’s door and had to wait for nearly ten minutes before it was finally opened. Her friend’s mother seemed a different person from the one Alessa had known. Zoe’s once beautiful hair was matted and tangled in knots. There were dark circles under her bloodshot eyes and the skin on her cheeks hung loose as if she had aged a hundred years. Her clothes were stained and almost falling off her thin frame. Zoe reached out and took Alessa in her arms. Then she broke down in tears. The two stood at the front door, clinging to each other desperately, as though the floor would fall out from under them if either of them let go.
When they finally separated to look at each other, Zoe said, “God, Alessa, I miss her so much. I can’t go on without her. I swear I didn’t know he was married.”
Alessa comforted her by telling her how much she missed Rhonda and how, without her friend there, life sucked. Finally, Zoe led Alessa inside the house. They sat at the kitchen table and talked about Rhonda and everything that had happened that terrible night that had changed their lives forever.
“Your mother is a real bitch. I don’t know how you can stand her,” Zoe commented.
“I can’t,” Alessa said firmly. “You have no idea how hard it is to live in my house.” She needed to tell her what was going on. She had kept it to herself for a long time, and she had no one else in the world to turn to. “Zoe,” she began, “I have something to tell you. I’m scared because I don’t know how you’ll react, and I wouldn’t be able to take it if you hated me.”
Zoe gave Alessa a bewildered look. “I could never hate you, Alessa. You’re a wonderful person. Rhonda loved you so much. You’re the only real girlfriend she ever had. She told me all the time how she had always wanted a friend like you. Whatever you have to tell me will be fine.”
There was no holding back now. “My Uncle Danny has been abusing me since I was seven years old,” Alessa blurted out. “Now things are getting much worse. My parents are away for the weekend and he is having friends over for a poker game tonight. He made it clear that I’d have to ‘be nice’ to all of them once they arrived.”
Zoe’s face went blank for a few seconds. She wondered what she could say to make this child feel safe. She wanted to make her feel like a normal seventeen-year-old. She wanted to help Alessa understand that she shouldn’t be ashamed of what happened to her. None of it was her fault.
After a long pause, she asked, “Have you told your mother?”
Alessa nodded. “Twice. Once, when I was much younger and again the night Rhonda died. Both times, my mother defended my uncle and called me a liar. I’m so scared, Zoe. I can’t ‘be nice’ to his friends. They’re a bunch of old men. I’ve put up with my uncle for the last ten years. I can’t do it, Zoe.”
Alessa was now crying bitterly. Her chest heaved with raw emotion as she grappled with the thought of what her uncle’s friends would do to her. Her tears welled up from deep inside her, from the very depths of her soul. Zoe took the girl in her arms and held her for a long, long time. Both were sobbing, Zoe for losing her daughter and the pain this young girl in her arms had endured. Alessa cried for all she had been denied in her short life and for the suffering she had borne.
Zoe managed a weak smile. “You can live here, Alessa,” she told her.
This had always been Alessa’s cherished dream. She knew, however, that Caterina would come home in a couple of days and discover that her daughter had not only defied her orders and left the house, but run away from home and taken shelter with Zoe, of all people.
“There is nothing I want more in the world than to stay here with you,” Alessa said earnestly. “I wish you were my mother. But I know that when my mom comes home, this is the first place where she’ll come looking for me. She knows that Rhonda was the only person in my life, outside of my family. She’ll make your life miserable. In the end, I’ll have to go back to living with her and my uncle.
“If only I could get away from here and live somewhere where no one could find me until I was eighteen! That’s only a year from now. After that, no one can tell me what to do. I’d be able to come back and stay with you then if you’d let me. I need to get away for one year, Zoe. That’s all.” Alessa hesitated. “I can go to Philadelphia and live in the city for a year. I can get a job and find a small apartment. No one will need to know where I am, and they’ll never think to look for me there.”
“You need to finish high school, Alessa,” Zoe reminded her.
“I can get my GED later. Right now, I don’t care about a high school diploma. I need to get out of here before tonight,” Alessa pleaded.
Zoe searched for a different solution, but nothing came to her. “Okay. I want you to go into Rhonda’s room and pack her duffel bag with some of her clothes. Take whatever you want. Make sure you take her down coat in case you need it. I’m going to run to the bank and get you some cash to get you started. You’ll have to call me every day so I know you’re safe.”
As terrified as Alessa was of what she was about to do, she was relieved to be finally getting away from her uncle and her pathetic existence.
After Zoe had left for the bank, Alessa went into Rhonda’s bedroom. It was as they had left it that awful night. The bed was unmade, and the orange soda and cookies still sat on top of the dresser. Alessa experienced a deep sense of loss as she looked around and remembered how safe she had once felt in this very room. Now, it was like looking at a photo from the past. She yearned for that same sense of security, but all that she could feel was pain.
Zoe returned before she finished packing and handed her an envelope. “Here’s two thousand dollars. A place in the city will be expensive.”
Alessa gasped. “Two thousand?”
Zoe nodded. “It should keep you going long enough to find a job. I called and made you a reservation for two nights at the Travelodge Motel in Philadelphia. It’s located on Race Street. Here’s the address. The reservation is under the name Zoe. I’ll drop you off at the Norristown train station. You need to take the train to Thirtieth Street Station and get a cab from there to the hotel. Tomorrow, you’ll have to find a more permanent place to stay. I only booked the hotel room for two nights. If they come looking for you, I don’t want them finding out that I have a room being charged to my credit card in the city, when I am living right here in my home.” Zoe paused for breath. “Here,” she said, “take Rhonda’s school identification so that you have something with you, in case they ask to see it at the Travelodge.” Zoe thrust the card into Alessa’s palm.
The two carried the large duffel bag Alessa had packed with some of Rhonda’s clothes out to Zoe’s car and placed it in the trunk. Alessa tucked the money inside a small purse Rhonda had always used. When they got to the train station, Zoe helped Alessa up to the platform. The two turned to face each other and clung together in a long, final embrace, neither of them wanting to let go, both feeling that if they held on long enough, Rhonda might reappear and join them.
They were both crying as Zoe turned to leave the platform.
Alessa turned around at the last minute. “I love you, Zoe. Thank you for everything.”
Zoe turned back and cupped the young girl’s face in her hands. “I love you, too, honey. I am so very sorry for all that you have gone through with your uncle. I wish there was a way I could help you heal. You’re a very special young woman. Great things are in store for you. I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but someday, you will know how special you are. Promise me that you will always carry Rhonda in your heart.”
“I promise, Zoe,” Alessa said. “Rhonda will live in my heart forever.”
At that moment, the train entered the station and came to a stop. Alessa turned and boarded it, thinking how lucky she was to have known Zoe.