SWNOVELS BELIEVE LIKE A CHILD: Chapter 49
in a residential neighborhood on Fourth Street, an ideal location. A week later, with Alessa on crutches and Lucy by her side, the two moved into the building. Ebby had explained to Alessa before they arrived that she would receive monetary assistance to sustain them until Alessa could work again.
Alessa was pleased with their new home. It was small but well-lit, with white walls and beige furniture. Ebby had got her the furniture from a yard sale, and while it was moderately worn, it was still in good condition. Ebby had managed to buy beds, linens, and a dresser for both bedrooms at the same yard sale from a couple about to divorce and go their separate ways. Lucy was thrilled to finally have her own space, a room that was all hers.
Ebby and Alessa sat on the sofa together, while Lucy unpacked her things.
Ebby glanced at her. “I know you’re dealing with a lot right now. We have been focused on your physical health so far, but I’m concerned about your state of mind. We haven’t talked at all about what those men did to you that night. I’m worried that you’re holding everything in. I’d like to talk about it if it’s okay with you.”
Alessa stared blankly at Ebby for a long time. She had complete trust in her and knew no one had ever understood her the way she did.
“Ebby, it was awful!” she finally confessed. “I know I’m no virgin, but this was different. The attack was so violent. I’m completely humiliated, as though my entire being has been violated. It wasn’t only the sexual assault, you know. I mean, it was terrible, but it didn’t even matter. It was how vicious they were to me, as though they had nothing but hatred for me and were bent on destroying me. I don’t understand why they did this. Why they would do this to anyone.”
Ebby turned sideways to face her. “I have no way of knowing why those disgusting monsters would want to do this to you,” Ebby said sadly, trying to console Alessa. “Maybe the boys were drunk or high on something. Maybe they’re rotten to the core. But I do know that even if they are never caught, they will suffer a lifetime of misery. No one who treats another human being the way they treated you can ever be at peace.”
“Why do you think being beaten bothers me more than anything else they did to me?”
Ebby moved closer to Alessa and put an arm around her. “I’m not sure,” she said gently. “It could be because you’ve been sexually abused so many times that—awful as it sounds—you’ve come to accept it as nothing out of the ordinary. On the other hand, you’ve never been beaten like that before. Men have violated you, but they never tried to break your spirit like these men did. It’s something you’ve never experienced. Maybe that’s why the beating traumatized you the most.”
“I decided something while I was in the hospital,” Alessa said quietly. “I’m not going to dance anymore. I want to get out of the sex business altogether. I’m tired of it, Ebby. It’s that I don’t know what else I can do to make enough money to turn my life around. I have almost thirty thousand dollars in cash in my safety deposit box. I was going to buy a place for us, while I worked on getting a college degree, but now I can’t figure out what to do.”
Alessa’s hopelessness was palpable. Ebby considered her capable of so much more than devoting her life to being a stripper.
“Well,” she told her, “what you’re going to do is focus on your recovery, getting yourself into college, and choosing a career that will not only prepare you to earn a living but also give you joy.”
When Ebby talked to her in that confident manner, she made Alessa’s own goals seem clear and well-defined. She made her believe that she had options. The young woman approved of the plan Ebby had decided on for her and promised to call the community college the next morning. With renewed hope, Alessa went into her bedroom to unpack her things, as Lucy came bouncing into the living room, bubbling with excitement.
“Alessa, we have our own bathroom,” she squealed. “And did you see all the stuff Ebby bought for us? We have real comforters on our beds and towels to shower with and everything.”
Alessa took delight in the child’s enthusiasm and thought to herself, Ebby’s right. I can make a life for Lucy and myself. Maybe God is cutting us a break. And about time, too.
By early evening, Ebby was ready to go home to Ryan. She promised to be back the next day to take Alessa to her physical therapy session. The three embraced, and after Ebby left, Alessa and Lucy sat in the living room and watched television together. They had never done that before, at least not in privacy and not in their own space. Both enjoyed every minute they shared. They were a family, a normal family doing a normal thing.
Later that evening, once Lucy was asleep, Alessa reluctantly let her mind wander to that night. Secretly, she was still shattered and raw from the whole experience. She knew as long as she had a plan and set goals for herself, she would never have to look back. Once she was well enough to get around on her own, she would even get back to visiting and helping the homeless, as she had before the incident on July 4th.