SWNOVELS BELIEVE LIKE A CHILD: Chapter 30
was taking her home with her. Alessa admired her and knew they shared a mutual fondness for each other. But allowing a shelter resident into her own home was something else. Alessa wondered why Ebby would do this for her since there were plenty of other women at the shelter who needed help.
“Why me?” Alessa asked. “There are so many people here that would love for you to take them home.”
Ebby smiled at her. “Because I want to help you. I’ll tell you a secret.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “As you stated, there are a lot of people at the shelter that need help. You have struck a chord with me, and I think this is the right thing to do. Most times, following my instincts and doing the right thing is all the reason I need.”
Alessa nodded, looking down at her hands as gratitude swelled inside her. “I appreciate you helping me, and I won’t ever forget it. You know, the first day I arrived at the shelter, it struck me that no one in the world would miss me if I died.” She raised her eyes to meet Ebby’s. “I want to be the kind of person people will miss when I’m gone.”
Ebby smiled. “That’s certainly a worthy goal.” She was silent for a while, thinking about how she’d make her next point. “You know, it sounded like your sister, Rosabella, would’ve helped you if she could. She can’t do anything at this point in her life because she needs a lot of help herself. But I think it’s important for you to recognize that you have a connection with your sister. She genuinely cares for you. I think it’s nice that she wants to be a part of your life. You see that, right?”
Alessa nodded. “My mother screwed us up. She’s a manipulative woman. I think when she gave birth to us, she was too ignorant to understand what having children meant. You know, the commitment, time, and love that needs to be devoted to a child. What I can’t forgive is my mother’s failure to protect me, even after I told her what was happening.”
“Well, you don’t need her right now,” Ebby reminded her. “Nor do you need to dwell on her.” Then to lighten the mood, she added, “Consider her the host that carried you into the world. Now it’s up to you to make something of your life.”
Both lapsed into silence for the rest of the ride to Ebby’s home in Folsom, Pennsylvania. The car pulled up on the side of a small, one-story home. A rustic bay window overlooked the front of the house, and the front door was flanked on either side by small patches of garden, where flowering shrubs grew in profusion. Alessa was somewhat surprised to discover how tiny Ebby’s home was, certainly no larger than an apartment. But as she entered, the house was warm and inviting. Her favorite part of the house was the fireplace that opened into the living room on one side and into the kitchen on the other. Ebby showed her the guest bedroom. Then they went into her kitchen and settled at the table.
They sat there for hours and talked. As Alessa disclosed more details of the experiences she had lived through with her uncle and Harlin, it confirmed Ebby’s belief that the girl was far more vulnerable than she let on. Alessa had cultivated an overconfident façade that was part of the hard, protective shell she used as a shield against the world. But behind it was a tender young girl who would sometimes break down and let her pain show.
At five o’clock that evening, Ebby’s husband, Ryan, came home from work. It had never struck Alessa that Ebby could be married. She wondered now if she had children. As Ebby introduced her guest to her husband, Alessa noticed how Ryan’s brow furrowed and his jaw clenched. She excused herself and went to her room to rest before dinner, snuggling up under the handmade quilt that covered the guest bed. Alessa’s instinct told her she wouldn’t be able to stay at Ebby’s for more than a couple of days and should mentally prepare herself for what came next. While worrying about all the uncertainty she faced, she fell asleep.
***
At 6:30 p.m., Ebby woke her. Dinner with the couple was wonderful, although Ebby did all of the talking.
After dinner, the three of them sat in the living room.
“So, what are your plans for the immediate future?” Ryan asked Alessa.
Events had overtaken her so swiftly that Alessa hadn’t had the time to deliberate on her next move. So she talked to Ebby’s husband about what she thought would be the right thing to do under the circumstances.
“Well,” she began, “I was thinking that if everything goes well and Harlin stops looking for me, I could go back into the city and stay at a different shelter. I read the information the shelter gave me and found out that the Philadelphia Housing Authority has apartments that people can live in. I don’t know all the details yet, but I was thinking I could try to live in one for a while. After I get my GED and a job, I can probably afford to move out and rent an apartment on my own.”
“Well, that certainly sounds like a good use of my tax dollars,” Ryan barked. He was watching Alessa, waiting to see her reaction.
“Ryan!” Ebby said sharply.
As Ryan’s eyes snapped to the scowl on Ebby’s face, Alessa leaned forward in her chair. After all the things she’d been through, she wouldn’t let him talk down to her.
“Why are you treating me like I’m a piece of shit?” Alessa shot back. “What am I supposed to do? It’s the only plan I have right now, okay?”
There was irritation in Ryan’s voice as he countered, “I wasn’t treating you like shit. I was stating my opinion. It’s not easy for someone like me to have to pay for everyone else to live their lives the way they want to. But you wouldn’t know about that, would you?”
“Stop it,” Ebby said in a low, simmering tone with her eyes glued on her husband.
Alessa exploded. “Actually,” she retorted, spitting out the words, “I do know what it’s like. I put up with being abused by my uncle so my parents could pay the bills.”
At that, Ryan rolled his eyes. “On that note, I’m off to bed,” he announced. He shot Ebby a look of annoyance on his way to the bedroom, and she returned a scornful glare.
“Well,” Ebby said to Alessa when her husband was out of earshot, “Ryan has managed to rub you the wrong way. I’m sorry he was so rude to you.”
Alessa looked remorseful. “I’m sorry, too, Ebby,” she replied softly. “I was rude to him, wasn’t I? I didn’t mean to lose my temper. He treated me like I’m a piece of trash. I’m so tired of taking crap from people.”
“Ryan doesn’t understand,” Ebby said in his defense. “He can’t figure out what motivates me to work at the shelter. And he certainly will never understand what it’s like to live the kind of life you have so far. He can’t relate to it, which annoys and frustrates him. I wish I could tell you that he’ll come around eventually, but that’s not a promise I can make to you. I’m still holding out hope that someday, he’ll have more empathy for other people.”
“I don’t understand what you mean,” Alessa said, bewildered. “Why would he need to come around? What does he think of people like me?”
Ebby was forthright. “Ryan believes that people willingly get themselves into bad situations, not that he doesn’t have sympathy for a helpless victim of sexual abuse. He condemns your uncle’s behavior. But he isn’t entirely convinced you were forced into prostitution at the go-go bar. On the contrary, he thinks that by working at the go-go bar in the first place, you allowed yourself to be exploited. I’d do anything not to hurt your feelings or to cause you more pain. I think you should know that as you go ahead with your life, you’ll come across both supportive people and those who think you got what you deserved.”
Alessa hurried to defend all she had done, but Ebby stopped her.
“There is no need to justify yourself to anyone, Alessa,” she told her firmly. “I’m only trying to prepare you for what you might have to face in the future. Certain people will regard you in a negative light. If you allow their views to influence your own opinion of who you are, you will always live on the defensive and never allow yourself to realize your full potential. Better to have learned the truth here and now, where it’s safe, rather than in an unfamiliar or hostile environment. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”
“Yeah, I get it,” Alessa replied. “I guess some people are heartless. They can’t see past their noses to have any concern for how other people have to live. Whatever. I think you’re great, Ebby, but your husband is a jerkoff.”
Ebby laughed until her belly hurt.