SWNOVELS BELIEVE LIKE A CHILD: Chapter 28
weeks that Tasha was racking her brains to find a way out of the trap her brother had set for her, Alessa was living the closest to a normal life she had ever known at Eliza Shirley. There were always people around. The staff was friendly and helpful. Her roommates were nothing to write home about, but for the most part, they minded their own business. Although they wanted to know about her past, Alessa did everything she could to avoid giving them any information. All they got out of her was that she had left her home in Plymouth Meeting and magically appeared here at the shelter. Behind her back, Alessa’s roommates gossiped about how she must be a spoiled brat who had had a tiff with Mommy and Daddy and gone running.
Alessa’s health check and blood work showed no issues, and she considered herself lucky . . . like hitting the lottery kind of lucky. She began taking long walks in the city with Ebby. She’d completely changed her appearance. She had cut her hair short and dyed it blond. She’d bought a cheap pair of sunglasses and never went out without wearing them. Sometimes, she would wear a baseball cap that Ebby had given her. Despite that, she lived in constant fear that Harlin would find her or that one of his crew would recognize her.
Ebby tried to allay her anxieties by reminding her that two whole weeks had passed since she left North Philly, but Alessa knew better. She knew that when Harlin was mad, he didn’t stop until he got revenge. Ebby assured her that a detailed description of him had been given to the police. Alessa tried to relax but was certain Harlin would find her. In therapy, Ebby tried coaxing her to contact her sister, Rosabella. Based on what Alessa had told her, she understood that Rosabella had never caused her sister any harm. Alessa believed that out of all her family, Rosabella alone may have known of what had happened to her and how Caterina and Danny had both used her.
Although Alessa thought about calling Rosabella, she was apprehensive about being rejected by her. While she would have loved to have at least one family member in her life as part of her support system, she was terrified that it would give the others the license to come rushing back into her life, too. Not that any of them had ever searched for her. When she last talked to Zoe nine months earlier, she had learned that no further inquiries had been made regarding her whereabouts. Alessa was glad her so-called family had gone back to their messed-up lives and left her alone. She hated them all, but she especially despised Caterina and Uncle Danny. She would never forgive either for the life they had convicted her to.
While at the shelter, Alessa started classes to prepare for her GED test. She knew education would be the first step to a better life. Her roommates teased her that GED stood for “Good Evening, Dummy.” She thought it was clever of them and giggled.
All these years, the people in Alessa’s life had sprung surprises on her, forcing her into hurtful situations. Ebby was a surprise, too, but a pleasant one. She had come to love her in a way that was different from the way she loved Rhonda and Tasha. The girls had both protected her, but Ebby was teaching her to move forward.
Ebby never judged or made fun of anyone. She taught Alessa how to be kind to herself and to look deep inside to find her inner strength. At first, Alessa wasn’t convinced about the things Ebby preached. But a few weeks later, she thought maybe Ebby was right.
Alessa was sitting in Ebby’s office one day, talking about how hard her life had been.
Ebby cocked her head to the side and looked into the girl’s eyes. “Not everyone can turn their life around. It takes a lot of resilience to take your life back into your hands, and many people give up. You managed to deal with the ugliest circumstances without making your life any worse than it already was. That takes a lot of courage and inner strength. Why do you think you were able to survive the way you did?”
“I don’t know, Ebby,” she replied. “I guess I’ve never seen it as survival. It was just my life. Most kids are raised on Cheerios, but I was raised on sex.” Alessa blushed. “I don’t know. I always wanted to be something more so that I could get away from all the bad things that were happening to me. I’m not sure why evil follows me though. It’s not like I go looking for it.”
“No, of course you don’t look for it. For some reason, people take advantage of you. We need to fix that part of you so it doesn’t happen again. We need you to give out signals that you are not to be messed with and that you command respect. I believe you will achieve that kind of freedom in your life. You’re certainly capable of anything. So now we need to get you focused on moving forward.”
Alessa loved her sessions with Ebby. Time spent with her always gave her the courage to believe there were no limits to what she could do. She confessed to her that when they weren’t together, her inner hope and confidence seemed to recede.
Ebby shook her head. “You know, there is nothing I can say that will make you any stronger than you already are. You need to find the place inside yourself to hold on to your confidence. There’s no magic by which I can give you confidence and strength. If you have it when you’re with me, then it is yours, and you need to acknowledge that as the truth. If you give me credit for how you feel, you’re denying yourself once again the power that you hold. Give yourself credit and stop second-guessing everything. The sooner you learn to be kind to yourself, the sooner you will heal and move on with the life you want. It’s time to stop letting other people run your life and control how you feel.”
Two weeks had passed since Alessa escaped Harlin’s iron rule. She remained on alert, fearing that any moment, he would come looking for her. But she was seeing that she could have so much more than she had ever had before.
She was in her room, studying for the GED when one of the staff members entered. She told her there was a telephone call for her. Alessa’s heart pumped wildly in her chest. The only person who knew she was there was Tasha.
Alessa practically ran to get the phone. “Hello?”
“Alessa,” Tasha said urgently, “you need to move. Harlin is turning me out on the streets tonight if I don’t tell him where you are. You need to leave there right now! Your life depends on moving fast. I’m sorry, sweetie. I love you.”
Before Alessa could respond, the phone went dead.