BELIEVE LIKE A CHILD: Chapter 19
Alessa became more comfortable dancing at the bar. She and Shiver had grown closer and were friends now. She understood why they called her Shiver. She was a stunning woman. Her soft square jaw outlined her strong face and green eyes, framed by long, thick eyelashes. Her wide mouth, with its plump, luscious lips, always shimmered under the stage lights. Shiver’s nose was elegantly tapered along the bridge and had the perfect width at the nostrils. Her light brown hair gleamed with beautiful blond highlights. Her long, lean body revealed her commitment to staying fit. Her stomach was taut with muscles and her long, shapely legs were impressive.
Although her beauty made her stand out in a room full of women, it wasn’t until Shiver moved all that God had given her to the music’s rhythm that her audience shivered. When Alessa watched this magnificent woman dance, swaying to the beat to transform eroticism into an art form, she shivered. No wonder the men never tired of Shiver. When she was offstage, she was sweet and warm and genuinely nice, never the least bit sleazy. This enhanced her appeal while heightening the aura of confidence and innocence that surrounded her, so she exuded all these qualities when she talked to the men at the club. Shiver taught Alessa how to do her hair and makeup, insisting she unlearn all that she had picked up from Tasha.
“Less is more,” she explained. “You have beautiful bone structure and small features. You need to enhance your natural beauty, instead of camouflaging it with all that makeup.”
Alessa would arrive at the club early so Shiver could take her shopping for stage costumes in her sleek, expensive car. Alessa was building an exceptional wardrobe for her dance performances. The clients were happy to see the transformation she underwent as the weeks passed. Many wanted her to pay attention to them—both on and offstage. In her first several weeks, while on stage, Alessa was in her element when the music was playing, but she was awkward when making her way around the bar and mingling with the clients. At first, Shiver stayed close to her while she socialized. But as time passed, she knew Alessa would be fine on her own.
After an exceptionally good evening at the bar, Alessa was socializing with the men, when one of them asked for a lap dance.
Startled, she replied, “No, I don’t do that.”
Harlin was within earshot, and as she looked over at him, Alessa saw that his face had turned a bright, furious red. His jaw was clenched as he glared at her. No matter how far away she moved from him, Alessa could feel the intensity of his rage and disgust in his scorching gaze. She had never seen Harlin in such a fury. Her heart raced and her stomach churned, as though she were on a roller coaster.
An hour before her shift ended, Alessa went back to the dressing room to change into her jeans and T-shirt. She was so terrified by Harlin’s reaction that she hadn’t been able to focus on the customers. Shiver was in the dressing room, talking to one of the other dancers, when she noticed Alessa enter before her time was up.
“What’s going on?” she inquired anxiously. “You still have another hour left on your shift. Has something happened? If one of our customers gave you a hard time, you need to tell me who it is and he will be out of here in a minute. Jay doesn’t tolerate his dancers being harassed.”
“No, it’s nothing like that,” Alessa explained. “One of the men asked me for a lap dance. I told him I didn’t do them. Harlin overheard me and I can tell he was pissed. I’ve never seen him look so mad. He scared the life out of me. I’m afraid of what he’ll do to me once he gets me in the car.”
Shiver had been curious all along about Harlin’s relationship with Alessa. Now she had to ask about it.
“What’s Harlin to you anyway?” she asked. “He’s always hanging around with those creepy friends of his, watching everything you do. Is he your boyfriend?”
“No, he’s my best friend’s brother. I pay him to live in his house and he provides me protection here at the club.”
Shiver laughed. “Protection from what?”
Embarrassed, Alessa mumbled, “You know, if any of the men follow me home after my shift. Plus, Harlin makes sure I don’t have to ride the bus to and from work. He keeps me safe in North Philly, too.”
Shiver hoisted her hands to her hips and rolled her eyes. “That’s weird that you’d have to pay him to help you. Harlin sounds like an asshole. How much money do you give him?”
Alessa plopped down on a chair. “Fifty percent of everything I earn.”
“What?” Shiver shrieked. “Are you serious? That scumbag is using you, Alessa. He’s earning a lot of money for doing absolutely nothing.”
Alessa hung her head. “I know, but right now this is all I got.” She lifted her eyes to meet Shivers. “This won’t last forever . . . I won’t let it.”
Shiver had suspected there was something odd about Alessa’s and Harlin’s relationship, but she had no idea how bad things were for the girl. The older woman was outraged for her young friend. But Shiver had no inkling of the power Harlin held. She didn’t know that he could kill someone on a mere whim without a flutter of remorse.
Shiver sensed her knowledge of what was happening to Alessa made the girl more nervous. Worry and fear were plastered large on Alessa’s face. She was having a hard time focusing on what Shiver was telling her. Poor kid, Shiver thought to herself. She knew a lot about being on the streets. It wasn’t like she had grown up in a perfect household and then became a stripper. Shiver had danced for survival. Now she danced because she enjoyed it and loved the money. It allowed her luxuries in life she wouldn’t be able to afford otherwise.
“Don’t worry, Alessa,” Shiver assured her. “Everything will work out. I promise. For now, keep giving him half your money, but things will change soon. In the meantime, tell the prick that I am going to teach you how to perform a lap dance. You get paid a lot of money for lap dances, and they are easy and not as scary as you think. I’ll teach you everything you need to know. Okay?”
Alessa reluctantly agreed, trusting Shiver wouldn’t make her do anything that made her uncomfortable.
She went back to her station and changed.
Before leaving the dressing room, Alessa hugged Shiver. “Thanks for everything. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“It’s okay. I’m glad I can help. When I started myself, someone was there to help me. We’re a family here, remember?”
Alessa smiled and headed toward the door.
“By the way,” Shiver told her, “the girls voted on your stage name. It’s Rana. It means beautiful and eye-catching. What do you think?”
“Yeah, Rana,” Alessa said, feeling the sound of it on her tongue. “I like it. But everyone who works here will still call me Alessa, right?”
Shiver smiled. “Of course, if that is what you want. You’ll be Rana only when you’re dancing.”
When Alessa approached Harlin at the bar, she could tell that his fury hadn’t lessened. He got up abruptly and impatiently walked out to his van, with Alessa and his crew hurrying to catch up. Getting behind the wheel, he glared at her and unleashed his anger.
“You bitch!” he snarled. “You don’t turn down a lap dance. Do you know how much money you threw away tonight?”
Alessa feared what he might do to her.
“I-I’m sorry, Harlin,” she stammered. “It’s just that I’ve never done one and I don’t know how to. I was scared. I talked to Shiver, and she’s going to teach me how to do them. Isn’t that good?”
“Forget Shiver!” Harlin replied through clenched teeth. “I don’t give a damn what that whore thinks. I’ll be teaching you how to perform a real lap dance. You hear me?” His eyes were wild. He moved his head inches away from hers, so close she could feel the heat of his breath on her face. “This is about making money, you dunce! I thought we had an understanding. Maybe you’re too stupid to get it!”
Alessa was silent as they drove back to North Philly. Her stomach burned as though she had swallowed acid. She couldn’t figure out why Harlin had suddenly become so vicious. He had started out being a decent guy. Now he treated her like she was a piece of meat.
When they got home, Alessa rushed into her bedroom. Then panic bubbled up in her chest when she overheard him call Tasha.
“I don’t want you coming over tonight,” he ordered his sister. “I got some work to do with Alessa, and she ain’t gonna have time to hang out.”
Alessa knew her friend was arguing with him.
Harlin said, “I ain’t playing! Tasha, you heard what I said. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Then he hung up the telephone.
He thudded into the living room and ordered his gang to leave. The boys looked at him with knowing smirks as they sauntered off. Then Harlin went into the bedroom and grabbed both of Alessa’s wrists.
“Put on one of your costumes. Wear one with a thong—none of those short pants.”
Harlin left the bedroom and went into the living room. Filled with dread, Alessa changed into one of the outfits she wore onstage. The thought of being alone with Harlin while he was this angry terrified her.
When she emerged from her room, he looked her up and down. “Go put your heels on! Don’t you dare come out in half the costume!”
Alessa went back in and obediently put on her high heels. When she returned to the living room, the lights had been dimmed and there was soft, slow music playing. Her stomach churned at the realization she was about to give a private show.
Harlin ordered Alessa to get up on the coffee table and dance. Trying to push down the nausea building inside her, she forced herself to relax and feel the music. Harlin sat on the sofa, reaching up and stroking her thighs whenever the mood seized him. After a few minutes of this, he rose abruptly to his feet, unzipped his jeans, and tossed them down on the floor. Then he sat back on the sofa in his boxers.
Alessa’s anxiety was heightened. What’s going to happen to me?
“Come down here and straddle me,” he commanded.
His tone of voice told her clearly that she had better not disobey him. She moved to where Harlin was sitting and went on her knees on the couch so she was straddling him. Harlin laid his head back on the sofa and put a hand on each of her hips.
She remained still, wondering what he wanted next. “You need to move around!” he barked in her ear.
As Alessa swayed back and forth mechanically, Harlin grasped her around the hips and pulled her down on him. “Keep moving,” he ordered. “I want you to do a slow grind.”
Alessa did what he told her to do.
“Now start running your fingers through my hair and let them slide slowly down over my chest,” he told her.
Alessa complied and felt his heart pounding under her fingers as they moved down his chest.
“That’s right,” he moaned, his voice growing lustful. “That feels good . . .” His hands crept to her inner thighs and he caressed them.
Alessa froze momentarily as she felt her anxiety get the better of her.
“You don’t stop until I tell you it’s time to stop!” he snapped.
As Alessa continued to grind her hips, terrified of what he would do to her if she paused, Harlin lifted his hips slightly off the sofa, removed his boxers, and flung them aside. Before she could react, he violated her. She felt as if his soul had left his body and he was no longer human but a beast, as he gripped her cruelly by the hips and raised and lowered her. Alessa felt herself receding into the remote recesses of her quiet place until Harlin was finished, collapsed back on the couch, and pushed her roughly off him and onto the sofa.
When he opened his eyes again, it seemed to her as though he had regained consciousness. He was himself again. He turned his head and looked at her. “See, there’s nothing to it. That’s how you give a lap dance.”
Wary of the fury he might unleash on her, she drew in a long breath through her nose. “Jay would never allow that at his bar. The girls don’t have sex with the clients. They aren’t allowed to touch us either.” She held back the stinging tears that seemed ready to burst from her eyes. “I thought you were against men stealing sex from women,” she dared to point out. “You said it had to be consensual.”
Harlin gave her a hard, assessing stare. “I didn’t steal sex from you, and it was consensual,” he declared with complete confidence. “You’re in the sex business now, and that changes everything. As far as Jay goes, I don’t care what he lets people do or not do at his bar. Listen carefully to what I’m telling you. You need to make as much money as possible, and when you do lap dances, the clients need to be satisfied. The lap dances are done in a private room. Make sure you give them their money’s worth so they keep coming back for more. I’ll be working the bar to make sure you get plenty of business. Do everything I tell you to and we’ll make serious money. You’re exactly what men want. Now I’m going to bed, and I suggest you do the same. By the way, we will be practicing your lap dance again tomorrow night after we get home. And remember until you get it right and are ready to start performing for those horny pricks at the bar, we will continue to practice.”
Alessa got off the sofa and headed for her bedroom. She took off the few scanty clothes she was still wearing. Before she had even changed into her pajamas, the tears flowed. She replayed what had happened repeatedly in her mind. She couldn’t believe that Harlin had forced himself on her.
What is it with these men who think they can treat my body with disrespect and snatch sex from me whenever they want?
As she lay sleepless in bed, Alessa tried to sort through her emotions in search of an answer. She couldn’t see a way out of the dangerous situation she found herself in. One thing she knew for sure: she hated Harlin more than ever and prayed that she would be rid of him. She cried herself to sleep, promising herself, before she drifted off, that things would get better.