BELIEVE LIKE A CHILD: Chapter 17
took Alessa to a lingerie store to buy the things she needed for her audition that night. Tasha picked two outfits she thought would blow them all away. The first was white lace panties with a matching garter and white fishnet stockings. To offset all the white, she bought a zebra print bra. The second costume was a pair of black and silver striped panties. They sat low on Alessa’s hips and cut up high in the back. Tasha also bought the matching stockings that came up over the knees and topped it off with a silver and rhinestone studded bra.
Both outfits were revealing enough to make Alessa a little uneasy, but she had a good time trying everything on. To soften the harsh reality underlying the purpose of the outfits, Tasha turned it into a game of dress-up. Happy with their purchases, the girls headed to a trendy shoe store where Tasha bought her a pair of five-inch zebra print heels and a second pair of five-inch heels in silver, decorated with black studs. Alessa was laughing as she tried to walk in them. She felt like a small child, wobbling about, as it took its first steps in life. Tasha reminded her to practice walking in them once they got home.
Back at Harlin’s, they rushed into the spare bedroom, now Alessa’s room. Alessa immediately tried on the zebra print outfit, her favorite. Tasha yelled for Harlin, and he came into the room and studied Alessa critically. Standing under his penetrating gaze in a costume that left little to the imagination, she grew more uncomfortable by the minute.
Harlin turned to Tasha. “Go wait in the living room.”
By his tone, it was clear to his sister this was an order, not a request. Alessa’s heart pounded as Tasha left the bedroom, throwing a glance over her shoulder. Harlin shut the door behind her and sat down on the bed.
“Come over here and stand in front of me,” he ordered Alessa.
O God, she thought, this can’t be happening.
Had she been that stupid again? Alessa approached Harlin and stood two feet away, not daring to move a muscle.
“Come closer,” he commanded. “I want you to stand right here.” He pointed to the space between his legs as they hung over the edge of the bed.
Alessa inched forward until she was close to his knees.
Harlin suddenly lunged at her, grasped her by her waist with both hands, and pulled her forward until her knees were against the side of the mattress. His strong grip loosened. Then he slowly moved his hands down the sides of her body. She cringed when his hands glided down to her waist and past her hips until they skimmed her inner thighs. Alessa thought she would die when he instructed her to turn around, but she did as she was told. Harlin repeated the same motion, starting at her bare shoulders and moving down to the small of her back.
Then he stood up and said, “I think you look okay. You’ll need to practice dancing. I’ll send Tasha in to fix your hair and do your makeup. I want you out in the living room in fifteen minutes. You’re going to dance for me and my boys.”
Alessa felt as though someone blocked off her airway as she struggled to fill her lungs. Tears burned the backs of her eyes.
Noticing the tears, Harlin stood quickly and banged his fist against the wall. “Listen, none of that crap.” He gave her a disapproving look. “This is business, and I need to make sure you’ll be able to convince Jay to hire you tonight. I don’t want any of that crying and looking all sad. I ain’t got the time or the patience for it. You understand?” When Alessa didn’t reply, he raised his voice and moved closer to her. “You understand?”
“Yeah, I got it,” Alessa blurted out.
Harlin left the bedroom, satisfied that the girl would make him a lot of easy money. An extra three thousand a month in his pocket for driving her to work and back and letting her sleep in his spare bedroom was beyond appealing. He was proud of his entrepreneurial capability. Not that selling weed didn’t make him good money, but this extra sum would help him expand into other things.
Once Tasha was back in the bedroom, she immediately asked her what had happened between Harlin and her. Alessa explained that he had wanted to see how she looked. Tasha eyed her suspiciously.
“That’s all he wanted?” she asked skeptically.
“Yeah, that’s it. Now I need you to help me with my hair and makeup. Harlin wants me to practice dancing for him and his crew before we go back to see Jay tonight.”
As usual, Tasha worked her magic on Alessa, giving her a dramatic hairstyle that made her look stylish, without robbing her of her innocence. She applied more makeup on her than she usually did, using liberal amounts of blue eye shadow and bright red lipstick.
When Tasha was finished, Alessa looked in the mirror.
“Oh, I look trashy,” Alessa whined.
“You’re working in a go-go bar. You need to have an edgier look than you normally do.” Tasha walked up behind her and gave her a pair of hoop earrings to wear.
Alessa looked at them in her hands and dragged her eyes to Tasha. “These are huge! They’re going to look stupid on me.”
“Trust me,” Tasha said confidently. “You need to wear big earrings. Everything you do in this job will have to be big. You need big hair, loud makeup, in-your-face jewelry, and very high heels. The only thing that can’t be big is your clothes.”
Painfully aware that all she had on was a bra and panties, Alessa followed her out into the living room wearing a terry cloth robe, which she clutched to herself for dear life. She had to resist the urge to turn around and run away, as the reality of what she was about to do hit her. Harlin’s crew was present in full force. No one was about to miss the big moment.
Harlin looked up at his sister. “Tasha, baby,” he said, “it’s time for you to go. I can take it from here.” When she protested, he silenced her with one gesture of his hand. “I said it’s time to go,” he repeated. “Everything will be fine. Trust me, it will be easier on everyone, especially Alessa, if you aren’t around at her audition. I’ll call you when we get back from Doubles and you can come back over then. Okay?”
Tasha reluctantly agreed. As she headed down Dauphin Street, she wondered if she might have made a serious mistake in persuading Alessa to become a stripper.
Alone in a room full of men, Alessa felt dizzy with nervous anticipation. But before she knew it, music was playing and Harlin was instructing her to climb up on the coffee table in the center of the room. Up on the table, she stood frozen with her arms crossed over her chest and her shoulders hunched forward.
“Dance!” Harlin screamed.
Alessa swayed her hips slowly, and with the men watching her intently, she felt the rhythm pulsing through her body.
“Take off that robe, girl,” Harlin demanded. “Nobody wants to watch you swaying around in old lady clothes.”
Cringing with embarrassment, Alessa untied the sash around her waist and dropped the robe onto the floor.
At the sight of her nearly naked body, the men became instantly rowdy. Rumblings of comments and grunting laughter filled the room.
Alessa looked at Harlin with pleading eyes. He shook his head, indicating that she was not to stop dancing. She continued to sway and was soon drifting into that mental state where, with her eyes closed, she could forget her surroundings and be completely at ease. It was as if the music possessed her. She was startled back to reality when she felt someone tug at the front of her panties. She opened her eyes swiftly and realized that one of Harlin’s boys had slipped a dollar close to her hip. She continued to move to the music, and one by one, the guys approached her and slid money into the waistband of her panties. Some ran their hands across her flat stomach before giving her a dollar.
The whole scene made Alessa uncomfortable. She reminded herself repeatedly that it was all a part of the business she was in.
Harlin, too, had noticed that she was unnerved. But he convinced himself that Alessa had decided to be in this profession, and overtures of this kind had to be the outcome, a mutual understanding between stripper and client.
When the music stopped, Alessa leaped off the table to snatch her robe up from the floor. But as she reached for it, Harlin grasped her by the arm. “No, it ain’t over yet,” he told her firmly. “Now we’re all going to have a couple of beers, and you’re going to move around the room and talk to the guys. When you mingle with the guys at the bar, they’ll be in the mood to give you more money when you’re dancing.”
Alessa moved through the room, feeling cheap, as she tried to make small talk with the boys. After what felt like hours to Alessa, Harlin handed her a short silk robe.
“We need to get going. Wear this robe instead. It used to belong to some girl I knew,” Harlin stated.
Alessa sat in the back seat of the van, sandwiched between two of Harlin’s friends. She prayed all the way to Doubles she had made the right decision. Only a few weeks ago, these men were all protecting her. Now it felt as though everything had shifted. She couldn’t describe how sleazy she felt. The closer they got to the club, the more convinced she was that she had made a terrible mistake. After the way she’d felt in Harlin’s living room, defenseless and vulnerable, regret rooted in her belly. As they pulled into the club’s parking lot, Alessa felt as though she was being taken to a new prison.