Behind The Alpha Book 8 ADAM

ADAM

I hunted the club scene a lot after that first night.

Spending the next year just hunting and growing.

I helped Bray and Rae pick up girls and got some really good meals out of it.

That was until my father starting putting two and two together that my vamp wasn’t growing solely because of my lycan. In six months, I doubled in size and could technically squash him like a bug, but it would just be a bad idea to do to a council Alpha.

Even Quinn started to get concerned and questioned my influence on the other boys in the place. I don’t even know why I stay. Clearly, I’ve outgrown the place, but for some reason I feel like I don’t want to leave. Not yet.

I thought I was handling my victims with care after I fed off them. I would only erase my presence and send them on their way. I could easily drain them to death.

What I didn’t realize was that since Quinn, the Enforcers of Phoenix City monitored bite victims closely to not have a repeat of what went down with him.

I know his story, but I’m having trouble seeing the connection to my instinctual need for human blood and Quinn’s usury of blood for power and addiction. To tell a predator to not feed on what he needs is like telling the sun not to rise.

When the questions rose, my mother quickly found me. She escorted me to the Security Unit to answer those questions. I complied, but I won’t say I don’t feel resentment for being targeted as some sort of monster.

“They just want to talk with you. You aren’t being accused of anything.” She says as she walks in front of me.

“Since I’m the only lycan hybrid here, I’m assuming that’s a lie.” I sneer.

“Quinn has already been checked out and cleared. We know the victims are coming from Starlight. A club you and your friends have been sneaking into.” She opens a door to a small room and waves me in.

Her tone is void of feeling anything. Not that I expected any different. Her vampire rules her. Her discipline remains unchallenged. I do have to admire that about her. She is stronger than me in that regard.

She closes the door and I sit at the stark white table in the stark white chair. The mirror across the way shows how much I stick out.

My long, platinum white hair hangs around my shoulders and my clothes are black as night.

My mother walks around to my back. She combs her fingers through my hair, gathering it into a ponytail. I close my eyes at the feel of her gentle fingers.

“I hope you understand our concern.” She mumbles.

“You deny your instincts. You can’t tell me to deny mine.” I open my eyes and connect with hers in the mirror. I watch her wrap an elastic around my hair and make sure it’s straight.

“My beloved.” She leans down and wraps her arms around my neck. My broad shoulders are much larger now than when she used to hold me like this. I lean my head on hers and rest my hand on her arm. “Many years before you were a thought, I was part of a hive that thought the same as you. The leader swore to us we were being oppressed and denied the natural life of the vampire. The thing he didn’t realize was this life isn’t natural. You feel like this because it’s how you were born, but that comes at a cost. A cost that we have to pay to live in peace.”

I look to the table and blink. I turn to her eyes. “I don’t understand. The fact that we have these instincts should be enough to realize that we deserve to not be punished for them.”

She lets go and leans back on the edge of the table. “That is true, but we must recognize the destruction our instincts can cause. The High council recognized the potential damage our species could cause and that’s why the segregation had to happen. One hive could kill millions. Over time, we’d only kill each other for food.”

“I understand, but I never killed anyone.” I mumble as I look down at my hands.

“I know, my son. We just…we fear that one day you will.” She tries to find my eyes.

“I won’t.” I affirm.

She lifts my chin and our eyes meet. “You don’t know your true strength. Your body will require more eventually and it’s just a situation we wish to avoid. In the meantime, you must answer to the council on your involvement in the attacks.”

I look into my mothers eyes. “I won’t apologize for what I am.”

“No. Don’t apologize for that. Just take responsibility for what you’ve done. That’s all we ask. The laws in this city are clear. You are not to attack anyone for food or otherwise. If you wish to be apart of Phoenix or anywhere for that matter, you must have self-control and follow the laws as they are written.” She crosses her arms and eyes me.

I chew my lip and nod.

The door opens and Jake walks in with Sawyer and Owen.

I watch them enter the room and Jake sits across from me.

Owen stands off to the side with Sawyer. Obviously for protection.

“Where’s Hunt?” Owen asks.

“Upstairs. He’s…upset.” My mother answers.

A twinge of guilt hits my stomach as my shifter rolls around in his cage. I silence him and place a wall between him and my vamp.

“Understandable.” Owen eyes me.

Jake leans on the table. The corner of his lip ticks up. “Adam.”

“Jake.” I acknowledge.

He clears his throat and looks me over. “You’re aware of why you’re here?”

“Yes.” I answer bluntly.

He locks his eyes with me. “Did you, in fact, attack those women?”

“Yes.”

“Why?” He glances at Owen and Sawyer then back at me.

I lean on the table and tilt my head. “Hunger and sexual gratification.” My tone doesn’t falter and remains completely stoic.

He shakes his head. “That’s it. That’s your answer.”

I give him a questioning look. “How else should I answer?”

“Adam.” My mother starts.

Jake raises a hand to her. “Maybe with a little remorse.”

I narrow my eyes. “You act as though my intentions to these women were less than honorable. Do you believe this was done against their will?”

He smiles and chuckles a bit. “I don’t think anyone would voluntarily allow you to feed off them without manipulation.”

“What manipulation would that be, out of curiosity?” I ask.

He shrugs. “Lust lock for one."

I nod and sit back. “And I suppose you wouldn’t believe me if I told you I never used the lock?”

He sighs. “It would be hard to believe, yes.”

I lean on the table again. “You’re a Zeta, are you not?”

“Yes, I am.” He confirms.

“Read it.” I bark.

His brows cinch together. “Read it?”

“My mind. Read it. You can read minds as a Zeta, correct?” I stare at him. “I dare you to find one instance of me using a lock on anyone.”

He shakes his head. “Adam…Ok. I don’t want to probe your brain. I can tell by your reaction, you’re telling the truth, but that still doesn’t excuse…”

“Excuse what? That the incidents that were, in fact, consensual?” I don’t even blink as I stare at him.

He leans on the table. “Then why wipe their minds? If it was totally consensual, why erase it.”

I lean back, tick my lip down and motion to him. “To prevent this. Questions from people who wouldn’t know the first thing…”

“We know, Adam. We know very well.” Owen says as he crosses his arms.

“Do you?” I turn my sight to him. “Do you know what it’s like to be so hungry you actually contemplate eating yourself? Do you know the unsatisfying feeling of mediocre blood? Do you know the fight inside watching what you crave flow through the veins of those around you.” My eyes glow green as I chew my bottom lip. I hear his heart rate rise and see his blood flow faster.

He clears his throat and rubs his neck. “Well, of course, we can’t really know the struggle, but your mother…”

“My mother is a different creature altogether.” I raise my brows and tilt my head to him.

“I’m not that different, Adam.” My mother states.

“I’m sorry, mother. You are. You are so different from me. I can’t explain it, but just know…my instincts are stronger. I must actively control each monster in me at every minute of every day. I also have to actively address the needs. That includes food.” I turn back to Jake. “I will apologize if I inadvertently hurt anyone, but I won’t suppress the needs. You know what happens when that’s done.” I glance at my mother. I know the suffering she went through at the hands of the High King.

Jake crosses his arms and sighs.

“Jake. You can’t cut him loose, man.” Sawyer advises.

“I agree. Adam, I’m sorry. If you claim that you will continue to feed outside of the blood you’re provided than we have no choice.” Owen states.

I press my lips together and nod.

Jake laces his fingers on his desk. “What if we provided shifter blood to you instead of cows blood?”

I shake my head. “No. It has to be human. You’re not sedating my vamp.”

“What are you thinking?” Owen asks.

Jake glances at him. “The blood bank. A special reserve. That way we will know it's really consensual.”

I run my tongue across my teeth as I think.

My mother leans on my shoulder to my ear. “It’s a valid solution. You can satisfy the hunger without physical contact.”

I sit up. “What if I left?”

“What?”

“Adam, no…”

I raise my two fingers to my mother. “You heard me. What if I left Phoenix? Never to come back.”

“Well, you’d still be a danger, Adam. We can’t just release you…” Jake starts.

I thump a finger into the table. “I have not killed anyone and I have no intentions of doing so. I only drink for the hunger and I’ve trained hard to control the amount I need. I cannot drain them or I’ll die.”

Jake looks at my mother who shakes her head no. He silently confers with Owen and Sawyer.

He looks down and twists his lips. “Would you agree to monitoring? Checks ins with this Unit of your whereabouts and would you agree to uphold the laws of the places you travel to and to face whatever consequences that come your way if you don’t?”

“Jake, don’t be stupid. Lock him up.” Sawyer growls quietly.

I shoot him a look and he narrows his eyes. “Yes.” I turn back to Jake. “I agree.”

“Ok. Once the statements from the women come in and if it truly was voluntary, I can’t hold you on that, but I do agree that there just may be too many temptations for you here.”

My mother stares straight ahead as she hears Jake’s judgement. I feel her pain and I hear her concern as she addresses the Hive.

‘Ikke gråt for meg. Don’t cry for me. I wasn’t meant to stay. Please believe this is the right course of action.’

My mother’s eyes meet mine and I look away.

“Ok. Well, stay here and I’ll be back.” Jake stands and heads to the door. Owen and Sawyer follow him out and they shoot me a last look as the door closes.

My mother drops to her knees at my side. “Please…there has to be another way. Can you not serve punishment then try it Jake’s way?”

I cup her cheek. “You have no idea how special you are.” I feel my emotions try to punch through the wall I built as I feel my mothers hurt. “You have to understand your job as my mother is done. I must go my own way because where I’m going, you can’t come.”

She scrunches her brow. “Where? Where are you going?”

I pull her head to me and rest my lips on her forehead. “I can’t tell you.” I mumble, quietly. “Just know, I will never forget you. Ever.” I close my eyes and take in the feel of her. The mother of my being, I will cherish her for however many days I have left.

She grabs my hand and kisses the back of it. “You act as though I’ll never see you again. I hope you know that I will always be your mother. That will never change. I love you and don’t ever think you can’t tell me anything. You can. I won’t fault you for it.”

I push her back and give a tiny smile. “I know. Some things are best left untold. Things the heart will never understand. I…I love you too.” I struggled saying the words, but I felt a strange relief having done so. In all my times around, I’ve never actually said them to anyone. I don’t know why this time is different, but it felt…right.

I release her and sit in my chair with my head down. “Do me a favor?”

“Anything.” She says.

I roll my eyes to her. “Forgive me.”

She looks at me with confusion. “For what, my love?”

“Just…say it.” I swallow. “Please.”

She stares at me for a moment. “I forgive you.”

I look back down. “Thank you.”

The door opens and we both turn to Jake. “You’re free to go.” He holds up a file them motions me out.

“Thank you.” I stand and walk to the door. I stop and glance at Jake. “I’m sorry.” My face pains as I feel my mother behind me.

He claps my back. “I know you are.” He taps his temple indicating he did read my mind, at least those parts I allowed him to.

A few hours later, my mother is placing my pack on my father’s motorcycle.

I sit on the bike. “You sure he won’t mind?”

“He never rides it. He just bought it to look cool. He can buy another one.” She smirks.

I smile quickly then look back to the house I grew up in. “Is he coming?”

She wraps her arms around herself. “He’s having trouble adjusting. He hasn’t been himself since you left. He needs time.”

I nod. I know I’m hard on him and it’s for good reason, but I was half expecting him to see me off. I guess I hit him harder than I thought.

“Tell him…” I can’t find the words to say that won’t ruin the distance I have forced between us.

She smiles and grabs my head. She kisses my temple. “I will. Please. Be safe.”

“I will.” I start the bike and pull the throttle.

I drive out of the pack house driveway and through Severn Station.

My pack watches me drive by and I don’t give them a second look. I can’t because if I do, I’ll turn this bike around. My indifference will allow me to do what’s necessary.

The problem is this time, it feels much harder to face. I don’t know why. It’s like something deep down is telling me…

Don’t do it.