Behind Closed Doors: A Novel

I stand in front of the house, my case at my feet. The double gates are shut but the small gate—the one that I came out of—is ajar. I hear Esther’s car approaching and, turning back towards the house, I give a little wave. She pulls up next to me, gets out and opens the boot.

‘I could have come all the way to the door, you know,’ she reproaches, helping me to lift my suitcase into the car.

‘I thought it would save time. Thank you for coming to fetch me at such short notice.’

‘No problem,’ she smiles. ‘But we’re going to have to hurry if you’re to make your flight.’ As she closes the boot, I wave towards the house again, blow a kiss and pull the gate closed behind me.

‘I wish he was coming with me,’ I say fretfully. ‘I hate leaving him when he’s so down.’

‘It’s the first case he’s lost, isn’t it?’

‘Yes—I think that’s why he’s taken it so hard. But he did think the husband was guilty or he wouldn’t have taken it on in the first place. Unfortunately, Dena Anderson was less than truthful with Jack and hid certain things from him, including the fact that she had a lover.’

‘It seems he was the real culprit.’

‘I don’t know all the ins and outs of it, but I expect he’ll tell me when he joins me. It’s funny—I used to travel all over the world on my own yet the thought of spending a few days alone in Thailand is disconcerting. I’m so used to having Jack with me. I’m not sure quite what he expects me to do for the next four days.’

‘Have a nice rest, I suppose.’

‘I would rather have waited for him but he was so insistent,’ I go on. ‘And I know better than to argue with him when he’s made up his mind about something.’ I look over at her. ‘You see, he can be a little imperfect sometimes.’

‘Insisting that you go ahead of him on holiday is not imperfect,’ she reminds me.

‘No, I suppose not. Once he explained that he wouldn’t enjoy the holiday if he had to face all the paperwork when he came back, I understood better. He really needs to be able to relax on this holiday, especially as it’s probably the last we’ll be able to have on our own. It’s normal that he prefers to stay and get everything filed away—although I rather think that if he had won the case, he wouldn’t have minded quite so much about being reminded of it when we got back,’ I add ruefully.

‘He probably wants to lick his wounds in private,’ she agrees. ‘You know what men are like.’

‘The thing is, we’re hoping to conceive a baby while we’re in Thailand, which is another reason he wants to be completely relaxed. It’s about the right time,’ I admit, blushing a little.

She takes her hand off the wheel and gives mine a squeeze. ‘I really hope it works out for you both.’

‘Well, if it does, you’ll be the first to know,’ I promise. ‘I can’t wait to have Jack’s child. He was so disappointed when I had my last miscarriage. He tried to be strong for me, but it really affected him, especially when I didn’t conceive again immediately afterwards. I told him that these things take time, that my body needed to recover first, but he began wondering if it was down to him and the demands of his job, you know, the stress and everything.’

‘Do you think he’ll want to come round for dinner or something over the weekend?’

‘To be honest, I think he’d rather stay and plough through his paperwork. But you can always ask him, although I’m not sure you’ll be able to get hold of him as he doesn’t intend answering his phone over the next few days. He already had to deal with the media when he came out of court this afternoon and he knows they’re going to be on his back over the next few days. But you can always leave a message on his voicemail—that’s what he told me to do if I can’t get through to him, especially with the time difference and everything.’

‘And he’s joining you on Tuesday?’

‘Yes—well, early Wednesday morning. He’s taking the Tuesday evening flight—although he did say that he might be delayed a day or two. But I think he was joking—at least, I hope he was.’

‘So you’ll only have four days on your own. Gosh, what I wouldn’t give for four days of peace! Does he need taking to the airport on Tuesday? Rufus would do it.’

‘No, it’s fine. Adam offered, but Jack’s going to take the car and leave it at the airport. We’ll need it for when we get back—the flight gets in around six in the morning and we wouldn’t ask anyone to come and pick us up at that ungodly hour.’

I’m surprised how easily we chat on the way to the airport. I was expecting a far more uncomfortable ride, but she seems content to talk about the most ordinary of things. She asks if she and the children can go and see Millie at the weekend, and maybe take her out for tea, and, remembering how well Millie and Aisling got on at the party, I agree gratefully, glad that Millie will have some visitors while I’m away. She asks me to let Janice know that they’ll call by on Sunday and I promise that I will.

We arrive at the airport with fifteen minutes to spare. She drops me off at Departures and leaves me with a cheery wave. I go into the terminal building, find the British Airways counter, check in my case and make my way to the departure lounge. Then I take a seat in the corner and wait for my flight to be called.