SWNOVELS Before the Storm: Chapter 70
As if what I’ve been through isn’t mortifying enough, now I have to relive it in front of a room full of people who only give a shit about me because Storm does, and I’m still not convinced that’s the case. It seems a little too convenient that suddenly he wants me after all the things he said, even if he claims it was to keep me safe. Because that worked out so well for me.
But, despite my better judgment and all the fight I can muster, there’s something in the way he’s handling me, and the way his gray eyes won’t leave me, that has hope fluttering in my belly.
Wynter’s words bring me back to myself, and the memories of Frank’s body pressing into mine, his hands stripping me roughly, with little regard for me begging him to stop. The thoughts crash into me like a runaway train and take the air right from my lungs.
“Ayvah?” Storm’s worried voice pushes through the growing panic. His hand brushes up my arm gently, the rhythmic motion bringing me back to myself. My mind may be telling me to get as far away from Storm as I can, but my body instinctively relaxes when he’s near, and if I weren’t so traumatized from what I’ve been through in the last few days, perhaps I would be able to find it in myself to be mad at myself for that.
“I’m sorry,” I breathe.
“Hey.” Storm brushes his fingers across my sore cheek, but his touch doesn’t bring me pain. “You have nothing to be sorry for. You’ve been through so much, it’s to be expected that you’re shaken and no one in this room is going to be mad at you for needing a bit of time.”
I nod and take a deep breath, forcing my body to calm down despite my mind begging me to panic. But I’m safe here. Realistically I know that. I know that the people in this room are protective of those they consider theirs, and although Storm sent me away, none of them are looking at me like I don’t belong. In fact, the opposite is true. They’re each looking at me with varying degrees of concern. “I wasn’t raped,” I say so quietly my own ears strain to hear the words, but I know Storm hears them. His body immediately loses some of its tension, and the hard line of his jaw eases ever so slightly. “One of the men tried, but you saved me.”
“He never should have gotten that close,” Storm growls.
Elijah clears his throat, and I turn my attention to him. “Can you tell us about what happened while Annalise had you? I know it must be very painful for you to speak about, but it would help us with knowing if there’s anyone that may not have gone up in the bunker.”
I swallow heavily and allow my eyes to drop closed for a moment, gathering my thoughts. “I don’t remember a lot. I was…” I hesitate. “I was drunk when they took me, so when they finally let me out of the trunk, I was so disorientated and hungover. Not to mention they beat me when they took me.” Even thinking about it makes my skin crawl, but now that I’ve started, I can’t hold the thoughts back. “Annalise came to see me, and she was mad they hurt me. She said that the man who bought me wouldn’t be happy that I was hurt, that he wanted me in perfect condition.”
The room is deathly silent when I pause to make sure I haven’t suddenly found myself alone, but each person my eyes fall on as I look around the room seems both intrigued and horrified by my words.
“The way she was talking about this guy, it was like she was afraid of him. When she cornered me in the bathrooms at school, she said something about him, that he was powerful beyond what we could comprehend.” I let out a shaky breath. My mind is too muddled to make sense of everything I’ve been through, but I know it’s important. I know there’s something about this man they need to know, I’m just not sure which piece of information I can give them that will be of use. “I spoke to him, whoever he is. He was concerned for my health, and he kept saying he’d been watching me for a while, that he thought I was the perfect option to rule by his side, and that he wasn’t like Annalise’s other buyers. He didn’t want someone to break. He wanted someone to be by his side. He sent a doctor to check me over, and she told me not to be afraid.” I shake my head because surely none of the words falling from between my lips make sense. I can’t make heads or tails of anything that’s happened to me in the last few days, so how are they meant to understand it? “I’m sorry. I’m not sure any of this is very helpful. It’s just so scattered.”
Elijah gives me a tight smile, but from the limited time I’ve spent with him, that’s about as warm as he gets with anyone other than Snow. “No, Ayvah. That is very helpful. If you remember anything else, make sure to tell Storm. It might seem insignificant to you, but it could be the missing piece.”
I look at Storm sitting beside me, and he gives me a warm smile. “You did so good, baby girl.”
“I think we should call Crew and see if he knows anything about this guy,” Elijah says, turning his attention to Everett. “Have you seen anything about someone that could fit this description on the dark web?”
He rubs his chin as he thinks for a moment. “I’ll have to check, but I think so. I’ve never thought much of it, because I figured if there was a big player, we would know about them, but maybe…” He trails off.
“Look into that,” Storm says from beside me. “I’m taking the foreseeable future off to take care of Ayvah and make sure she recovers fully. I will be available in case of an emergency, but I don’t want to hear about either side of the business unless something is literally burning down.”
I whip my head around to face him and flinch at my own movement as agony shoots down my body.
“Careful, baby girl,” he reprimands.
“You don’t have to take time off to look after me. I’ve been looking after myself all my life, I can continue to do so.” I try to make my voice sound strong, but it’s still so hoarse it breaks intermittently.
His eyes flare with frustration. “You no longer have to take care of yourself, Ayvah. That’s my job now.”
I glare at him. “No, it’s not,” I snap. “You left me, Storm. In rather spectacular fashion. You sent me away when I was scared and vulnerable. You told me you never cared about me, that I was just useful at the time. What makes you think I want you to take care of me?” It’s like my mouth is moving, but my mind is barely conscious of the words spewing from it. It’s probably not a good idea to bait a ruthless mafia boss, but something tells me I could say anything to Storm, and he would never hurt me the way Annalise’s men did.
“Everybody out,” he commands sternly, but he doesn’t tear his eyes off me to see if his family is going to leave us.
Wynter squeezes my hand gently as the rest of the family make their way toward the door quietly. “I’m just outside the door if you need me.”
“She’s not going to need you,” Storm growls.
“Rein in the caveman, Storm. It’s not going to win you any favors.” Before he can respond, she’s strolling out of the room and closing the door behind all of them.
The moment the door closes, Storm is back on top of me. His body hovers just above mine, but he’s not allowing any of his weight to rest on me. “My patience is wearing very fucking thin, baby girl. I just spent two months without you. I spent two months not sleeping, unable to step foot in our bedroom because it still smells like you. I spent two miserable fucking months without my fucking heart beating in my body, and now that you’re here, you’re trying to leave. It’s not going to happen, Ayvah, and the sooner you get that through your head, the better it’s going to be for us both.” He keeps one hand planted on the pillow beside my head, while he moves the other to cup my cheek. “I love you, Ayvah. I’m sorry I sent you away. I’m sorry I broke us because I was scared of losing you. But I need you to know there wasn’t one second in the time you were gone that I wasn’t miserable. I need you to understand that my love for you is unnatural to me, and I’m not always going to navigate it correctly, but I promise I will never let you go again. You belong here with me, at my side. You’re mine, and I’m never going to allow anyone to take you from me, including you.”
I stare up at him, my eyes wet with unshed tears. It’s surreal to hear him say all these things after believing the opposite for so long. But would I be a fool to believe him now? To hand over my heart and hope he doesn’t break it again? Because there will always be a threat. In his line of work, there won’t be a day when my life isn’t in danger. So what happens the next time someone sends threats, or they approach me when I’m outside the estate?
“I don’t think I can do this,” I whisper the words despite my heart screaming at me not to say them.
But it’s true. I’m not sure I can handle the kind of heartbreak Storm brings, not again at least. I try to escape his intense stare, but he holds my cheek just firmly enough that I can’t turn my head.
“You don’t have a choice, Ayvah,” he says simply. “Now, I’m going to get you in the shower to wash all this blood off you. Does that sound okay?”
I close my eyes for the briefest of moments, willing the tears that pool there to go away, but instead, I allow them to fall against my cheeks. “Okay,” I sob.
“Don’t cry, baby girl,” he soothes, wiping the tears away with his thumb, only for them to be replaced by more. He pries himself away from my body and steps into the bathroom on the other side of the bed. A second later, the sound of water hitting tiles fills the room, and suddenly all I want in the world is a shower. My skin is covered in dried blood, and the faint scent of rust sticks to the inside of my nostrils.
He reappears in the doorway, his concerned gaze moving over my fragile body. I’m no longer wearing the oversized sweats from Annalise, but thankfully I didn’t have to face most of the Saint James family naked.
“Who changed me?” I blurt out. It’s not like it matters. I’ve been violated in so many ways at this point, what would one more notch matter?
“Emerson helped me,” he tells me as he rounds the bed. “I keep some clothes here for when we go into unexpected lockdown, so once Doc patched you up, we put you in one of my shirts.” He stops beside me and pulls the blankets back without hesitation.
The shock of the cool air rushing over my bruised skin makes me flinch, but before I have time to register the cold, I’m in Storm’s warm arms. He bundles me against his hard chest, his hold gentle but secure, and I hate to admit it, but I immediately relax into him. It’s as if my body knows I’m safe despite my mind screaming at me that I’m not. It’s hard to separate the two, to work out whether my body or mind have my best interests at heart, but I can’t help but lean into him.
Without a word, he places me down on the vanity and swiftly tugs the shirt over my head and tosses it on the tiled floor.
He moves to his own clothes, tugging off his sweats and shirt while I try my best to cover my naked body. I’ve always been self-conscious, especially around Storm, but right now, vulnerable and covered in bruises, I can’t think of anything more mortifying than standing in front of him with no form of defense.
A low growl makes its way up his throat and he shakes his head. “Don’t hide from me, baby girl.”
“I can’t, Storm. I can’t do this.” The tears from before pool in the corners of my eyes. “It’s too much, it’s all too much.” A rough sob erupts from my chest and tears a cry of pain along with it.