SWNOVELS Before the Storm: Chapter 29
The way Storm is looking at me is how I imagine a predator looks at its prey. And that’s what I am to him. I’m defenseless when it comes to him, and I don’t think I hate that as much as I should.
He drags his stormy gaze up my almost naked body and the instinct to cover myself almost overwhelms me, but I believe him when he says the consequences of covering myself are not worth the modesty.
When he finally tears his hard body from mine, I feel the loss immediately. It’s huge, and gaping, and I want his warmth back as soon as the cool air rushes over my skin, leaving goose bumps in its wake.
Storm crosses to the bath and turns the faucet off. He dips his hand into the water and pulls it out a moment later, letting out a satisfied sound. I’m not used to someone else doing things for me, I’ve been taking care of myself for so long I almost don’t know how to accept the help, but then I don’t really have a choice here. He’s helping me whether I like it or not, and it’s easier to accept it than to fight him on it.
He rolls up the sleeves of his long sleeve button up and crosses the large space back to where I’m still perched. This bathroom is almost as big as the whole apartment I grew up in, and at times I still pinch myself that this is my life. For now. There’s always the nagging thought in the back of my mind that my time here with Storm is limited.
He plucks me off the edge of the vanity and deposits me on my feet only for long enough to push my panties down my legs and then I’m back in his arms.
A wave of embarrassment hits me the moment I’m naked. I’ve never been naked in front of a man. Not a doctor, or a boyfriend. No one. And the way his eyes peruse my body leaves heat in its path. I’m also mindful that at any moment he could catch sight of the tampon string, or I could leak through. God, the thought alone is fucking mortifying.
“You’re blushing.” Storm smirks as he carefully lowers me into the water.
Warmth envelops me, and I can’t catch the moan of satisfaction as the water covers my aching body. Women don’t talk enough about the whole body impacts their cycle has on them, and although I was rarely able to take a bath at home, each time I did it helped to soothe me. “You’re intense, you know that?” I rest my head back on the edge of the bath and let out a happy sigh. God, I could get used to this. I won’t, because I know it’s not going to last, but I can allow myself to consider the possibilities. A lavish life where I want for nothing, with a man who would lay down his life for me and for his family. Maybe a few kids and a dog running around the place. Or maybe a couple of cats. Yeah, I could see the big scary mafia boss with a little kitten resting on his shoulder.
The thought has a smile tugging at my lips, something that rarely happens when cramps are running rife through my body.
I open my eyes to see Storm staring at me intently. It’s hard to place his emotions sometimes, in fact, most of the time I can’t decipher happy from sad, but the way he’s looking at me, is like I’m his entire world, and even though I know that’s not the case, how can it be? I allow myself to lean into the feeling. Because when no one has ever given a fuck about you, being someone’s entire world sounds pretty damn good.
“How many days do your periods normally last?” he rumbles. He reaches for the expensive body wash that just so happens to be my favorite scent, vanilla, and squirts an abundant amount on the loofah.
“I… uh…” I’ve never spoken about my periods so openly before, and I’m not sure I want to start.
“The article I was reading said it varies from woman to woman. Are yours regular? Same time every month? Or are they sporadic?”
My cheeks heat and the warm water does nothing to help my embarrassment. Maybe the cramps weren’t so bad, at least they weren’t mortifying.
“I think I might have Snow’s specialist come and see you. Just for a check-up.”
“No,” I finally say. “No check-ups. My periods are like clockwork. They last between four and six days. The cramps are always day one and only last for a few hours normally.” The words spew from my mouth without permission, but the last thing I need is a doctor showing up here to check over my very normal cycle.
He considers me for a moment before plucking one of my arms from the water and rubbing soothing circles into the pale flesh with the loofa. The feeling drags another moan from my throat, and this one I don’t even try to swallow.
“When was the last time you saw a doctor?”
“Two weeks ago when Doc was here.” I know that’s not what he was asking, but that’s all I’m willing to divulge because the truth is only going to set him off.
“That’s not what I meant,” he rumbles.
“I know.”
He sighs and moves on to the other arm, following the same gentle yet firm path that makes me sink farther into the bathtub. A girl could get used to this. “I’m just trying to take care of you, baby girl. I only want to make sure you’re okay and there’s nothing we need to be keeping an eye on.”
Guilt slams into my chest and makes it almost impossible to enjoy the slow circles he’s washing into my skin. He’s being kind, and for a man like Storm, that doesn’t come around often. “Ten years,” I whisper.
“Ten years since what?” His brows pull together in confusion.
“Since I saw a doctor.”
His eyes turn dark and he lets out a pained noise from the back of his throat as he desperately tries to train his emotions. “I’m having Doc come over to do a thorough check-up tomorrow. No arguments.”
“Okay.”
“What about birth control? I assume you’re not on any if you haven’t been to a doctor?”
I shake my head. “No, I once asked my mom if I could go on the pill and she lost it. She called me…” I shake my head as I try to block out the vile things she said to me that make so much sense now. She called me a whore for wanting to have sex, but really she just wanted me to be a virgin if they ever decided to sell me. How fucked up is that? “It doesn’t matter. But she said no.”
“To hell it doesn’t matter,” Storm growls, but his movements remain gentle. He’s paying penance for what he did to me when I first arrived here, proving to me that he’ll never hurt me again. But what if I crave the pain? What if now the initial shock has worn off, I find myself needing it? He takes several deep breaths to calm himself before finally meeting my gaze. The fire in the gray should be disarming, but instead I want to ask him to kiss me again. I need to feel him, feel his hard length pressing against where I ache for him. “I’ll have Doc go over the options with you, and depending on what you choose, if you choose anything, he may be able to give it to you when he’s here.”
I deflate slightly. If I choose one? But the only way he wouldn’t want me on birth control is if he has no intention of sleeping with me.
Of course he doesn’t want to sleep with a silly little girl like you, the voice in the back of my head reminds me. It’s a hybrid between my mother and sister now. It used to just be one or the other, but now it’s a blend I wish I could shut up.
A wet, sudsy finger brushes against my chin and forces my eyes up until I’m staring into his gray ones. There’s so much emotion swirling around the dark clouds of his irises that I wish I could pinpoint just one of them. Every moment I spend with Storm is more confusing than the last, and if I could just understand, maybe I would be able to settle some of the uncertainty in my belly that seems to grow by the day.
“I wish I could read your mind, baby girl. It would make it a lot easier to care for you,” he murmurs. His finger brushes along my bottom lip and they part without my consent. My body responds to Storm as if he’s giving it silent commands and I’m powerless to stop it. “What are you thinking?”
“Nothing.” I try to turn my face away from him, not wanting him to see how much he’s affecting me, but his grip on my chin is too tight.
“What did I say about hiding from me?”
“I can’t,” I whisper. And even if I could, I wouldn’t want to.
“Well, you’re going to.”
I sigh. Something tells me I’m not getting out of this bath until I tell him. And hey, I’ve already discussed my period, healthcare, and been carried around from pillar to post, so what can one more mortifying conversation do to my already battered ego? “You don’t… care if I’m on birth control or not?”
Understanding dawn on him and a small smile tugs at the corners of his lips. From our limited interaction with other people, these smiles seem like they’re reserved just for me, and I love every one of them. “No, Ayvah. I don’t care if you’re on birth control. I’m going to fuck you raw either way, and I’m going to fill you with so much cum it’s going to seep into your very being. The birth control is for your benefit. You’re young. You may not want to start thinking about a family. But if you’re ready for that, if you want to be filled with my babies, you won’t need birth control.”
My eyes widen as I stare at him. If he were anyone else I would think he’s joking, but somehow I know Storm is dead fucking serious. We’ve known each other for two weeks, the furthest we’ve ever taken things is a kiss, and he’s talking about children?
I’m in so far over my head right now.