Before I Rise

*Edited*

I was panicked, panicked, and pissed the hell off. I wasn’t going to say anything to her about being my mate until I decided what I wanted to do. And, of course, that all goes out the window thanks to my cousin. I shouldn’t be that surprised that she did. Alicia couldn’t keep a secrete to herself even if her life depended on it. Sometimes it came in handy; other times, it was a nuance. I knew the girl had no idea what being my mate meant, but I was sure it would be the first thing she asked when she returned from the bathroom.

I sat tiredly on the bed, already queasy and unsure if I should have this conversation today. It would be better to wait until I knew what I wanted to do with her.

Oh, please, stop being so dramatic. We already know what we are going to do with her. We will accept the bond and complete it, making her our Luna. There’s nothing else to think about or consider.

I huffed in response to Xavier. I wasn’t on the same level as him. Of course, he felt that way; he loved the idea of having a mate.

It wasn’t that I didn’t find the whole mate thing appealing, in some ways, I did. And I would be a fool not to see how drop-dead gorgeous my mate was. But that small voice in the back of my head whispered all the horrible things that could happen if I accepted her as my mate. If my father couldn’t save his mate, how would I ever protect mine? She could be taken from me, either by kidnapping or death. And I would have to find a way to carry on for the sake of my pack.

There was also the fact that she was human. I had nothing against humans, but there was no denying that they were physically weaker than us and couldn’t heal as fast as we do—all negatives regarding whether or not I should accept her.

Before I could come up with an answer, the bathroom door opened, and she walked out. She tentatively made eye contact and almost looked like she wanted to be anywhere else in the world instead of stuck in a room with me. That thought sent a pain in my chest. I wasn’t sure why it bothered me, but it did significantly.

I cleared my throat, trying to move to get my bearings before addressing her. “Here,” I nodded toward the spot on the bed next to me. “Sit so we can talk while you eat. I have a couple of questions for you….” I stopped talking as I suddenly realized I had no idea what her name was.

Thankfully she seemed to catch on. “Em, my name is Em.”

I nodded my head and tried to relax my posture, hoping I could seem less threatening toward her so she would sit down. After an awkward minute or two, she finally did sit, though she didn’t exactly look like she wanted to be there.

She picked up the plate from the bedside table and took a bite of the sandwich. I held my breath as she did, wanting so badly to make sure she liked it, but at the same time, trying to convince myself I could care less if she did or didn’t.

I felt instant relief and finally relaxed when she took a second bite. By the third bite, Em looked up from her plate and locked eyes with me, finally giving me a good look into her eyes. Her eyes reminded me of the forest in the middle of a rainstorm now that I was so close to her. Green and lush. I knew without a doubt that I could stare into her eyes for the rest of my life.

She is effortlessly beautiful. Xavier whispered, bringing me back to reality and realizing that I had been staring her down the entire time she ate the sandwich. My cheeks heated up at the thought, and I rubbed a frustrated hand down my face. It was time to stop ogling at her and do what I came here to do.

Thankfully she beat me to the punch. “Umm, so what did you want to talk about?” She asked as she set the empty plate on the bedside table and leaned back against the headboard to look directly at me. She pulled her knees up to her chest and brushed a piece of damp hair behind her ear.

I bet her hair is soft. Let’s touch it!

NO! That is beyond creepy, and she is already unsure of us. I responded to him, hoping that would calm him down and praying he would behave himself while we were here.

“I have a couple of questions for you,” I said, leaving no room for argument. I didn’t care if she was my mate or not; she was still a trespasser. I had to ensure she wasn’t a threat to the pack, especially since she was staying in the pack house and not down at the cells.

I would NEVER allow you to put our mate in that horrible place! Xavier grumbled at me.

I nearly rolled my eyes at his statement. Her being our mate doesn’t change anything. She is still a trespasser, Xavier. We don’t know if we can trust her or not.

Stupid human, she’s our mate. Of course, she can be trusted!

Before I could snap back at Xavier, Em’s sweet voice rang out. “Um… Alpha Marcus….”

“Marcus.” I cut her off while trying to hide the shiver that ran across my body at hearing how she said my name. Confusion danced across her face. “You can just call me Marcus, no need to add my title to it.”

She seemed surprised at that, hell I was a little surprised by my sudden declaration. However, it wasn’t totally out of the blue for me. Everyone close to me calls me Marcus, and the rest of the pack may address me the same, though most of them still call me by my title out of respect.

“Are you hundred percent sure you can’t remember anything?” I asked her, ready to finally get some information from her.

She let out a big sigh and tightened her arms around her legs. “I have no memory prior to waking up in the clearing.” She stopped talking for a few seconds to contemplate -what to say and then continued. “I guess that’s technically not true. Before I woke up, I felt like I was swimming in darkness. I couldn’t see anything or remember anything. I was completely and utterly alone. I thought I had died.” She finished in a whisper and broke eye contact with me. My heart squeezed at the sight of her upset.

We should comfort mate.

No, she’s a big girl. She can comfort herself. I said back to Xavier, trying to shake the overwhelming need to comfort her.

Stupid human. He said the way he always does when he’s displeased with me.

Stupid wolf. I replied with a mental smirk. Xavier growled slightly in annoyance with me.

Xavier and I usually agreed on anything except the mate topic. It was important for the human and wolf to bond and have a relationship, but it’s even more critical for an Alpha human and Alpha wolf to bond and agree on things. Otherwise, the pack could end up in turmoil. I wasn’t sure if this were something we would ever agree on.

“So... did you have any other questions for me, Marcus?” She asked me, breaking my train of thought.

Explicit images flashed through my mind of her saying my name in a very different manner than just now. How am I supposed to interact with her if I can’t even have a simple conversation without needing to take her to my bed and have my wicked way with her? I need to get the fuck out of this room before I lose all my self-control.

Let’s take her right here right now. You know you want to just as much as I do. Xavier said, not helping the situation at all.

“It’s hard to ask you the questions I normally would ask trespassers due to you not having any memories,” I said, ignoring Xavier altogether.

“Do you get a lot of trespassers?” She asked me.

“Not as much as other packs have to deal with. The trespassers are technically called rogues, and they know not to mess with my pack or me.” It took everything in me not to puff my chest out in pride.

When I took the Alpha title from my father, my pack struggled to survive since he never recovered from my mother’s death. The loss of your mate is unbearable. It can make even the strongest Alpha fall to his knees, which is why I never wanted a mate. My pack has grown a lot over the years since I’ve taken over, but it wasn’t the strongest or largest pack in the world like it had been years ago. I would never jeopardize that and put my pack back where they could hardly defend themselves against our enemies.

“Wait a second. There are other packs?! And what the hell is a rook?” She asked me, with her green eyes wide as they possibly could get.

I chuckled before responding to her, slightly surprising myself with the action. “First of all, it’s called a rogue. R-O-G-U-E. It’s a lone wolf. Many of them have been banished from their original packs or have left for whatever reason. Sometimes they will accidentally stray into pack land. However, there have been times when they group up and purposely attack a pack causing innocent pack members to die. Some Alphas will take pity on the rogues and offer them a place in their pack. I am not one of those Alphas. Rogues know it’s an automatic death sentence if they stray onto my land, on purpose or not. And to answer your other question, yes, there are other packs. Us Alphas are extremely territorial, so no packs are placed close together.”

“Does this mean you’re going to kill me now since I somehow wandered onto your land?” I could smell the fear that began to coat her naturally intoxicating scent.

“NO! I’m not going to kill you.” I quickly declared, not wanting to give her more of a reason to be scared of me. “I know we just met, and you have no reason to trust me, but you are safe here, Em. Nobody will hurt you. I will make sure of it. Besides, you are human, so there is no reason to kill you….yet.” I winked at her and chuckled. She forced a tiny smile back at me, obviously not finding any humor in what I just said to her and making me suddenly self-conscious. For some reason, I wanted her to know she could trust me and that she was safe here.

“Sorry, I was trying to lighten the mood and ease the sudden tension. Clearly, I am not very good at that.” I scratched the back of my neck, a nervous habit of mine.

“It’s ok. I’m happy you aren’t planning on slicing and dicing me today.” She said with a small laugh and wink.

“Nah, too messy. Probably go for the classic neck break. Fast, easy, and no mess to clean afterward. It’s my preferred method of handling difficult people.”

“Wow! You weren’t kidding. You are bad at this whole humor thing.”

I instantly cringed. Great, now she most likely thinks I am a psychopath.

Like I said earlier, stupid human.

Yeah, I have to agree with you on that. Definitely not one of my best moments in life.

Xavier is undoubtedly never going to let me forget about this moment. Hell, I’m not going to let myself forget my cringy ass attempt at being funny. I needed to get out of there before I embarrassed myself even more or made her even more scared of me.

“Uh, I probably should go and let you get some rest. You’ve had quite the day.” I reached for the plate on the bedside table at the same time she did. Our hands touched, and the most fantastic shock went through my body. Goosebumps erupted across my arms. It took everything in me not to moan at the sensation filling my body. I had no idea it would feel like this.

A gasp came out of Em’s mouth, making me look back at her. Pure shock and bliss filled up her entire face.

“What the hell was that?!”