Beating Heart: A Small Town, Single Dad Romance (Magnolia Falls Series Book 4)

“Can I go to camp tomorrow?” Cutler asked.

For the fifth time in less than two minutes.

“Yes. As long as you’re fever-free today and don’t vomit anymore. But since you’ve been holding down the soup and crackers, I’m guessing you’re on the mend.” I settled beside him on the couch where he was watching his favorite Disney movie.

“J.T. must be so bored without me.” He shoved another cracker into his mouth.

It was hard to believe that just eighteen hours ago, he was projectile vomiting for hours. He’d rebounded quickly after a good night’s sleep, and he seemed to feel fine this morning.

I’d scoured the house with Lysol, so hopefully, this bug was long gone now.

“I’m sure he’ll survive for a day. He’s got Coop and Tyce there, right?”

“Yeah. But he doesn’t like when I’m gone. We’re brothers, like you and my uncles.”

I chuckled. “I get that. There’s nothing better.”

I glanced down when a text came through. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was disappointed that it wasn’t from Emerson.

We’d had a moment. One that had caught me off guard.

But having her here in my kitchen… Those jade eyes. Those plump lips.

It was too much.

This pull that lived between us.

She wanted to leave it alone, and I knew she was right. No sense starting something with a woman who wasn’t staying. And I didn’t do relationships anyway. I liked to keep things simple because my focus was on Cutler. So messing with my neighbor would be a dumbass move.

But still, I was disappointed the text wasn’t from her.

Because maybe I’m a dumbass when it comes to my neighbor.

Tara

How’s the boy?

She texted me once or twice a year, and it always started this way. If I scrolled up through the conversation, this was what she always led with.

How’s the boy?

Our son.

Her son.

I was torn somewhere between pissed off and relieved every time she messaged. Pissed off, because he deserved better.

Relieved, because he deserved better.

Cutler is doing well.

I could mention that his sixth birthday had come and gone, and she hadn’t called. But that would mean that I’d expected her to call. She had never called on his birthday. Or Christmas. Or any holiday, for that matter.

And that meant that I got to have him all the time.

Her loss was my win.

But I still felt bad that he didn’t have a normal family life.

Not that she ever could have provided it.

Tara

It still makes me smile that we chose that name for him.

It was her fucking claim to fame with me. She’d picked the name, and I’d liked it.

She brought it up every time I saw her. Maybe it was guilt because she had nothing else she could really bring up.

She did carry him and provide a home for nine months.

And that was the reason I tolerated her texts once or twice a year.

She gave me the best gift I could ever receive.

So, for that reason, she always got a pass from me.

Yep. He’s the best kid on the planet, no question there.

Tara

I’m going to try to get to Magnolia Falls at the end of summer to see him. Do you think he would like that?

I don’t know. I’d keep your expectations low.

My phone rang immediately, and I groaned when I saw her name light up the screen.

“Yeah?” I grumped.

“What does that mean? We had an agreement that I could see him when I came through town,” she said, using that whiny tone she always used when she wanted to get her way.

I pushed to my feet when Cutler glanced over at me and walked out to the back deck and pulled the door closed behind me. “And you can. I’m just saying, he’s not three years old anymore. He has questions. He doesn’t know you, and if you’re coming just to stay for an hour, I wouldn’t bother. It just confuses him.”

“You could fix this, Nash. You could tell him that I love him but that I wanted a different life.”

“It’s not my job to make you look good. I tell him that you love him because I want him to feel good. Not because I give a flying fuck how it makes you look.”

“What is with this attitude? I thought we had an agreement?”

“We do. I’m holding up my end. I’m raising my son. But I’m letting you know that things have shifted so that you won’t show up here and expect something different. He doesn’t call you mom anymore; he refers to you as Tara. He did that on his own. Kids at school talk. He sees his friends with their parents, and he knows that you aren’t around. So you can’t just expect him to be excited to see you.”

She sighed. “He’ll be fine when he sees me. Last time I saw him, he cuddled up on my lap. He knows instinctually that I’m his mama. It’s a bond that we’ll share no matter where we are.”

“Tara, he was four years old the last time you saw him. It’s been over two years. He’s growing up. You can’t just show up every couple of years and expect a relationship.”

“I can show up whenever the hell I want to. He’s my son, too,” she snipped.

I ran a hand over my face, trying my best to keep calm. I didn’t want to rock the boat. I got to have Cutler 100 percent of the time. If she wanted to roll into town for a few hours every couple of years, I could suck it up. This arrangement was a good one for me and Cutler. I didn’t have to share him or have some strange dude playing stepfather to him.

“It’s fine. I just wanted you to be prepared that he might be a little standoffish.”

“I can win him over quickly. It’s my superpower, right?” She chuckled, completely content now that she’d gotten her way. “Can I talk to him?”

“He’s home sick from camp today. He’s got the stomach flu.”

“Well, then I’ll cheer him up. I just want to say hello.”

I walked back inside and paused the movie. “Hey, buddy. Your mama is on the phone, and she’d like to say hi.”

His dark gaze locked with mine. “Tara?”

“Yep. Can she say hello?”

He shrugged, and I put her on speakerphone. I needed to hear what she was saying, so I could end the call if she upset him.

“Okay, he’s here,” I said.

“Hi, Cutler. It’s Mama. How are you?”

“Fine. I threw up last night.”

“Oh, gosh. I threw up a few nights ago, and it was the worst,” she said with a laugh.

“You had the stomach buggers?”

“I had the tequila buggers.” She chuckled, and I rolled my eyes. “I was telling your daddy that I’m going to try to get to Magnolia Falls at the end of summer, if I can.”

“Why?” Cutler asked.

“Because I want to see my son, of course. I’m so proud of you. And I can’t believe you’re six years old already.”

Cutler looked up at me. It was this weird, knowing look that he gave me. Like he understood who she was in a way. This kid was an old soul. He’d always been good at reading people. He loved the people in his life fiercely, but he’d also learned that he needed to protect himself when it came to Tara.

“You can call me Beefcake. I don’t like the name Cutler anymore.”

“What? Cutler is the coolest name. I’m not calling you Beefcake.”

His eyes widened. “I’m tired, Tara. I need to go rest.”

“Wait. I don’t want to argue. I’ll call you Beefcake if you agree to call me Mama again. Deal?”

My chest squeezed when I saw the confusion on his face. Cutler wasn’t playing a role. He was just an honest kid who had a big heart.

“He needs to go lie down, Tara,” I said, taking her off of speakerphone.

“Okay. Tell little Beefcake I hope he feels better soon,” she said with a laugh. “I’ll let you know if I can make it there at the end of summer.”

“I need to go. Keep me posted on when you’re coming.”

“I will. Hey, Nash,” she said.

“Yep.”

“Thanks for being a good dad to our son.”

Hell, everything I did was for Cutler.

It was my honor to be his father.

“You got it. Bye.”

I ended the call and propped a pillow on my lap, and he leaned down and rested his head there.

“You okay?”

“I hope Tara doesn’t stay too long. I’ve got lots of plans at the end of summer with J.T. and my uncles and all my girls.” He stared ahead at the TV, even though the sound was still muted.

I stroked his face, happy that his fever was gone. “Don’t worry at all. We’ve got plenty of time for everything, okay?”

“Pops?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m glad you’re my dad.”

Fuck me. My chest squeezed so tight it was hard to breathe.

“Thanks, buddy.” I cleared my throat. “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, buddy. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Just like it was for you and Gramps when you were growing up, right?” he asked, his voice quiet.

“Yep. It was me and Gramps.”

“Were you sad that you never met your mama?” he asked. We’d talked about it a few times over the last year. He’d suddenly become more curious about my mom’s passing.

“Yeah, I was sad I never got to know her.” She’d passed away during childbirth due to a complication. My father had gone to the hospital with his wife, whom he loved, and left with a newborn son all on his own.

“Gramps says that she made sure you were okay before she decided to leave with the angels because he says she was an angel, too.”

I hadn’t realized Cutler had talked to my father about it. “Is that what he said?”

“Yep.”

“Sounds about right. But I had a great life with Gramps. You know that, right? Everyone’s family is different, but as long as you’re loved, that’s all that matters.”

“I know that, Pops. You and me didn’t have mamas around, but we have a big family that loves us.”

“We sure do.” I continued stroking his hair away from his face as his eyes fell closed.

And he dozed off, and I just sat there staring at him.

This little dude brought so much joy into my life.

I dozed off on the couch right alongside him.

But I sprung forward in a jolt when a severe cramp hit my stomach. The room was dark, so it was clear that several hours had passed, and Cutler was lying there, watching a movie.

His eyes widened. “You’ve been asleep for a long time.”

“Shit,” I hissed as I ran to the bathroom, nearly crashing into the coffee table.

I barely made it to the toilet before I vomited violently.

Looks like the stomach buggers were back with a vengeance.