Beating Heart: A Small Town, Single Dad Romance (Magnolia Falls Series Book 4)

I lay there, trying to catch my breath for so long, it was getting embarrassing. I pulled back to look at him.

“Hey,” I whispered.

“Hey, beautiful. How do you feel?”

“That was amazing. I think we should do that again as often as possible,” I said, my voice sultry and unrecognizable.

Hello, fabulous orgasm. It’s been a while.

“We can do it anytime you want. My dick has an open-door policy when it comes to you.” He stroked his fingers along the side of my face.

Nash shifted me off his lap and set me on the couch before walking the short distance to the bathroom. I heard the toilet flush, so I knew he’d disposed of the condom. He strode back toward me, with only the moonlight shining in through the windows illuminating his large, muscled body. He had no shame in the way he confidently moved in my direction, probably because he was some sort of chiseled Adonis. He pulled on his briefs before reaching for the blanket on my couch and wrapping it around me and settling me on his lap again.

There was such a comfort between us. One I couldn’t explain because I hadn’t known him for that long. But somehow, it felt as if I’d known him forever.

“Thank you for this,” I whispered, as emotion took over. “It hasn’t been like this in a long time, if ever, actually. So thank you for showing me how good it can be.”

His thumb swiped at the single tear rolling down my cheek, and I cringed at how ridiculous I was being.

“Sometimes moving forward is hard, even when you know you should. So, if I’m able to help you see that you deserve better—that you deserve the fucking moon and the stars and all that shit—then I’m happy to do it.” His gray gaze locked with mine. “Maybe you just needed to see how good it could be when you aren’t in a bed.”

“Oh, you think it’s the location, huh?” I chuckled, completely comfortable that I happened to still be stark naked while sitting on my couch. I’d never had that comfort before now. Collin was all about being proper and following rules—well, until he was banging my best friend, which seemed like a pretty big rule to break.

I liked that I didn’t have to worry about anyone questioning what I wanted anymore.

Questioning how hard I worked.

Questioning the amount of time I spent with my family.

“I think it’s just time that you do what you want. From what you’ve told me, you haven’t done that in a long time. I think it’s damn good that you’ve been set free,” he said, and his words hit me right in the chest.

“Sometimes I feel guilty, you know?” I whispered.

“About what? He’s the one who should feel guilty, not you.”

Nash had a confidence that I envied. I’d noticed it the first time that I met him. He wasn’t trying to impress anyone. He didn’t overthink his words. He knew who he was. What he wanted. And he made no attempt to dim that for anyone.

“I guess I just didn’t know what a relief it was going to be to have my heart broken.” A loud laugh escaped my lips. “I mean, there were deposits put down for a wedding that the whole town was going to be attending. There were plans made and a future that I had laid out for myself. A job I thought I’d be taking but that I walked away from. And yes, my fiancé and my best friend definitely broke my heart. And they have to carry the weight of their choices.” I looked away for a minute as I gathered my thoughts. He didn’t rush me or push me for more. He waited. “And sometimes I feel bad because I’m happier now than I’ve been in a long time. I just didn’t know I wasn’t happy before, because he was all that I knew. But even being alone these last few months, it’s been freeing.”

“It doesn’t change what they did, but I think it’ll make it easier to forgive and move forward, knowing that you’re happy.”

“How about you? Do you forgive easily?”

“I don’t normally let people get close enough that there’d be a reason to forgive, if that makes sense.” His eyes were so earnest and genuine. “I keep my circle small for a reason. My focus is Cutler. I’m close to my father. And my friends are my family.”

“What about Tara? Do you forgive her for leaving?” I asked, because I wanted to know more. He was raising his son with so much love, and I wondered how he didn’t resent her for leaving Cutler. Leaving him.

He sighed, and I saw several emotions cross his gaze in just a few quick seconds. “Tara is the one who’s missing out. If she’d stuck around and stayed in town, I’d be sharing custody of Cutler, and I don’t think I could have handled that. So sure, it pisses me off that she left him. I don’t have a whole lot of respect for her anymore. But I’m grateful at the same time, because he’s my greatest joy. And there would be no Cutler without her, right? So how can I hate her for that?”

I nodded. “I understand that. You have one amazing little boy.”

“I know I do. I’m a lucky man,” he said. “And apparently, you’re baking unicorn Krispies with him tomorrow?”

“Yep. He’s never made them. How is that possible?” I laughed.

“I don’t really bake.” He tugged me down and kissed me. “But thank you for doing that for him.”

And before I knew what was happening, he was on his feet, carrying me toward the bedroom. And I was hoping it was time for round two.

Because I couldn’t get enough of Nash Heart.

I couldn’t remember a time that I’d felt more relaxed. More at peace. Nash had spent the night with me last night. We’d had sex for a second time in my bed. We’d then had sex in the shower together this morning, which was also new for me. Collin thought sex and showers were hypocritical. He believed you showered to get clean and start your day.

I’d thought I felt the same.

But now I knew differently.

One should always have sex in the shower before starting their day.

I felt like I was on top of the freaking world.

My not-serious relationship was proving to be better than the only real relationship I’d ever had.

And today, I was showing Cutler how to make unicorn Krispies, and we’d made a batch of red velvet cupcakes because he’d said those were his favorite. And I was having the best time.

“I can’t believe you told Pops he couldn’t stay,” Cutler said over a fit of laughter as he continued stirring the chocolate batter in the mixing bowl.

“Well, this is our thing, right? I can’t teach you the secrets of baking with your dad all up in our business.” I smirked as I lined the cupcake tins with paper.

“I think he was happy to take Winnie on the boat, anyway.” He dipped his finger into the bowl and popped it into his mouth, his eyes going wide when I caught him.

I dipped my finger in and mimicked him, and he relaxed. “No sense baking if you can’t test the goods, right?”

“Yes! I knew you were my girl before, but now it feels like you’re my girl and my best friend. Just don’t tell J.T.”

I chuckled. “You really are the cutest, Beefcake. So why’d you want to learn to bake the unicorn Krispies?”

“Well, there’s this girl in my class named Jolie.” He set his spoon on the paper towel beside the bowl, and I showed him how to ladle the batter into the little cups.

“And Jolie likes unicorn Krispies?” I asked, helping him dip the ladle into the batter and maneuver it into the cups. He was very cautious and careful, and it impressed me. My grown brothers and cousins couldn’t fill a cupcake tin with batter to save their lives, so this was surprising.

“Every year, we do a special day for each kid in the class, and it’s called Star Student Day. Jolie brings cupcakes every single year on her special day. Her mama makes them. And then her mom and dad wear these T-shirts that say Jolie’s mom and Jolie’s dad on them when they walk her into school. So I thought maybe if I learned how to make treats of my own, me and Pops could bring something for the class this year on my special day. And no one has ever brought unicorn Krispies.”

A lump so thick it nearly choked me formed in my throat. It physically hurt me to know that he was hurting about anything. Because Cutler Heart was so loved and adored, but sometimes, it was easy to look around and compare yourself to what you think you should have, and it could be very painful.

“I’ll bet you could get your dad to bring in just about anything you wanted him to. And I’m sure he would wear any T-shirt you chose for him,” I said, as I watched him meticulously fill the last cupcake paper.

“I know he would. And he bought cookies for me last year. But we never made homemade before.” He paused and thought about it. “And Pops can’t bring me to school with a mama, because I don’t have one.”

I turned to look at him as he set the ladle down on the paper towel as if he hadn’t said something heavy at all. He was just speaking the truth.

“But I bet everyone doesn’t have both parents bringing them to school on their special day, right?” I knew there was talk of Tara coming to visit soon, but I wasn’t going to bring that up, because, according to Nash, she wasn’t someone they could count on at all.

He looked up at me with those big brown eyes, almost like he felt empathy for me because he sensed my sadness about the conversation. “Nope. They don’t all have both parents bringing them to school every day, but all the kids in my class do have two parents. But everyone knows I’ve got the best pops in town. But one time I’d like to have two people bring me to school so I can say I’ve got two as well.”

It was like a dagger to the heart.

“I get that. Wanting to be like everyone else. I don’t know if I told you, but I was planning this big wedding for the longest time. And then in the end, I had to call it off. I’ve never known anyone who called off their wedding. It’s kind of embarrassing that I had to tell everyone it wasn’t going to happen, but guess what, Beefcake?” I took the pan and moved it onto the top rack of the oven before setting the timer.

“What?” he asked, as he bent down, hands on his knees, as he peered into the oven.

“I’m doing just fine. It’s the reason that I came here and met you, right?” I closed the oven door and smiled at him. “And just because I’m different doesn’t mean it’s bad.”

“Why’d you call off the wedding?” he asked, his little eyebrows cinched with concern.

“Well, the groom that I picked found himself another lady.” It was my lame attempt at telling the truth to soothe his pain, but it seemed to be working.

“I’ve got a lot of girls, Sunny. But I can’t believe someone wouldn’t want to marry you. You’re my special girl. You know how to take care of sick kids, and you bake the best Krispies and cupcakes, and you ride horses, and you’re a real good swimmer, too. You’ve got the best dog, and you’re very pretty.” He reached for my hand. “But you’re also the nicest girl I know. You want me to have my uncles go beat that guy up for you? My uncle Ro is the champion, and they’re all real strong. My pops could beat just about anyone in a fight, except for maybe Uncle Ro.”

“No,” I said over my laughter. “I’m happy about it now. I just meant that sometimes being different from everyone around you isn’t a bad thing. Maybe it just means we’re special.”

“Pops always says that I’m special. And he’s like me. He didn’t have a mama either, and he’s the best pops.” He beamed up at me as I moved to get another bowl so we could start the icing. Nash had told me that he lost his mother in childbirth, and I couldn’t even imagine how hard that had to be on both him and his father. “Did your mama bring cupcakes when you were the star student at school?”

I pulled the step stool back up to the counter for him since we were going to make the icing next. I measured out the butter and dropped it into the bowl. “My parents are really great. But,” I said, holding up my phone to show him a photo of all of us together. “They’ve got five kids, and then I told you I’ve got my cousins who grew up right next door to me. So my mom couldn’t always bake cupcakes for all of us for every occasion. We got special treats on our birthday, and that was great.”

He studied the photo, and his head fell back in laughter. “Man, Sunny. You’ve got so many brothers and cousins, and they’re all boys. Did you wish for a girl sometimes?”

“Nope. I had a best friend named Farah, and she was more like a sister to me back then.” I cleared my throat. The pain always hit hard when I talked about Farah. “And now that we’re talking about this, I just remembered something.”

“What?” he asked.

“Farah’s mama always brought all the treats on the first day of school and on her birthday and her half birthday. She didn’t have any siblings, so her parents really spoiled her.”

“And did you ever feel bad about that?”

“Nope. Because I had such a good family, just like you do. Farah was always really lonely because her parents were very busy. But they’d always throw her fancy parties and bring her special treats, but they didn’t spend a lot of time with her. And sometimes, things look good on the outside, but it’s more about feeling good on the inside.”

“I always feel good on the inside. My girl, Ruby, taught me about that.” He took the measuring cup that I’d filled with powdered sugar and carefully poured it into the mixing bowl. “Do you think Farah was sad on the inside because she was wishing she could spend more time with her family?”

My chest was heavy. That girl practically lived at our house when we were growing up. “I think she might have been. So always remember, being loved is most important. It’s not about how something looks, Beefcake. It’s about how it feels.”

“I feel happy when I’m with you, Sunny. I’ll bet this is how Jolie feels when she bakes with her mama.” The words left his mouth so casually, I sat there gaping at him with surprise. I loved how honest he was. How he just said how he felt.

The door sprung open, and Winnie came running in before I could respond to Cutler.

“It smells like cupcakes, and I’m getting hungry,” Nash said, with a big grin on his face. “I’m done being kicked out of the cool kids’ baking club.”

I shook my head and chuckled as Cutler charged at him, and his father scooped him up effortlessly.

“Sunny is the bestest baker and the bestest girl, Pops. We better hope she stays a long time, because she makes me feel real good on the inside.”

Nash barked out a laugh, and so did I. “Yep. She makes me feel good on the inside, too.”

With that, he winked at me, and I could feel the heat climbing my neck.

This man had such an effect on me, and I didn’t know what to make of it.

But I’d decided not to overthink it, and I was just going to enjoy myself.

Because I couldn’t get enough of Nash or his little boy.