Chapter 18
I worked on the puzzle with Cutler and Nash while Winnie fell asleep on their couch. We had Rice Krispie treats, and they both gave me way too much credit by acting like I’d cured a freaking deadly disease because I put colorful sprinkles in them and called them unicorn Krispies. Cutler made me promise to teach him how to make them sometime soon.
Nash went to bathe his son, and I’d thought that was my cue to leave, but he’d asked me to stay. So I’d done the dishes and taken Winnie out back before settling on his couch.
“Sunny, I came to say goodnight. Pops said I can’t ask you to read me a book, though, so I’m just giving you a hug.” Cutler looked like the cutest thing I’d ever laid eyes on. His pajamas were covered in little hot dogs, and his hair was damp and slicked back in his typical fashion. He had large dark eyes and these pink little cheeks and the cutest button nose.
“Hey. I told you not to ask her,” Nash grumped, shaking his head at his son.
“I didn’t ask. I just told her that I wasn’t allowed to ask her.” He waggled his brows and leaned forward to hug me. He smelled like coconut and sunshine, and I imagined the coconut was his body wash and shampoo, and the sunshine was just a Cutler Heart thing.
“What if I would like to read him a book?” I asked, pushing to my feet.
“Unbelievable.” Nash threw his hands in the air. “You’re too slick for your own good, Beefcake.”
“And you’ve got the best balls in town, Pops.”
My head fell back in laughter. This little boy was like a breath of fresh air for me. After the bitterness I’d felt these last few months, being here, around Nash and his son, it was exactly what I’d needed.
I had a new perspective on life in a way. I wasn’t mopey and sad anymore.
And today should be the day that I felt the most down in the dumps.
But as I walked down the hallway toward Cutler’s bedroom, I felt anything but.
I felt like I’d dodged a bullet. Of course, the way the bullet had just missed me was an unpleasant experience, but I was grateful to be exactly where I was today.
I kicked off my sandals and hopped onto the bed beside Cutler, him beneath the covers and me on top. Nash sat in the chair beside the bed, and Winnie jumped up on his lap as if she were a lapdog, which she very much was not. We all laughed, and I turned the first page on his latest Junie B. Jones book. He chuckled a few times as I read two chapters.
His eyes were heavy, and his little hand was wrapped around mine, and I freaking loved it. He was so cuddly and cute, and I was happy to be in here, reading to him.
Nash pushed to his feet, helping Winnie off his lap before she jumped up on the foot of Cutler’s bed.
“Can Winnie stay in here until Sunny goes home?” Cutler whispered, his voice sleepy. Nash glanced over at me as I climbed off the bed. I gave him a nod, and he agreed to let her stay for a little bit. I kissed Cutler on the cheek and patted my pup on the head as I followed Nash out of the room and down the hallway.
We’d barely made it to the kitchen, when he spun me around, pressed my back against the wall beside the refrigerator, and stepped closer.
“Did you really need to read two chapters?” His voice was gruff, eyes zoned in on my mouth.
I laughed. “Two chapters seemed fair.”
“Do you know how badly I’ve wanted to kiss you for the last few hours? Hell, all fucking day. Do you have any idea how crazy you’re making me?”
My tongue wet my bottom lip because my mouth went dry. “Tell me.”
“Well, you come over here looking like a fucking vision, wearing this pretty white skirt and top,” he said, his fingers tracing along the sliver of skin exposed on my stomach. His fingers were calloused, yet they moved so lightly, and I loved the feel against my skin. “Groaning when you ate my cooking and torturing me.”
“Well, you do have the best balls in town, neighbor. Even gramps thinks so,” I said, my voice laced with humor, even though my heart raced at his nearness.
At his touch.
At the look in his eyes as he watched me.
“I know today is a tough day for you, and I sure as shit don’t want to push you. Hell, I don’t know what I have to offer you, Emerson. But I know that I desperately want to kiss you again.” His fingers continued the soothing motion back and forth along my skin, his other hand moving to the side of my neck.
“Today hasn’t been tough at all, which is surprising. I don’t know what that says about me.”
“Maybe it says that you’re moving forward,” he said.
My hand moved to his chest, feeling the beat of his heart beneath my palm.
Beating heart.
I wanted to make him feel the way he made me feel.
I knew it couldn’t go anywhere. We both had our reasons. But getting lost in this man right now was just too easy.
And exactly what I wanted.
What I needed.
“How about you? Are you moving forward?” I asked, desperate for his mouth to be on mine right now.
Apparently, I had zero patience when it came to Nash Heart.
“I’ve never had a woman for dinner with my son. I’ve never made out with a woman in the middle of the lake. I’ve never wanted anyone the way that I want you, and that’s the fucking truth. I don’t know what it means, but I know what I’m feeling is different.”
I sucked in a breath at his words.
This is temporary. Don’t get ahead of yourself. He’s just attracted to you.
“I want you, too.” I searched his gaze. “I’ve only been with one man, Nash. And I thought it was forever, and I was really wrong. So maybe not knowing what this is is a good change for me. I want you. You want me. Why torture ourselves?”
His mouth was on mine, and he pressed his body into mine. I could feel every hard edge and muscle. My hands moved along his shoulders and down his arms.
He was strong and masculine, and I freaking loved the feel of his weight against me. He took control of the kiss, his tongue slipping into my mouth as it tangled with mine.
Desperate and needy.
It was different from the kiss yesterday.
We were both all in now.
There was no hesitation.
No apprehension.
We wanted this.
I ground my hips against him, and he reached behind me, his hands cupping my ass and lifting me up. My legs came around his waist just like they had out in the water. But this time, there was very little fabric between us, and I felt everything.
Everything.
He carried me down the hallway, his lips never leaving mine. Before I processed what was happening, he walked into his bedroom and closed the door quietly, before dropping me onto his bed.
I was overwhelmed with feelings. I wanted him. Wanted this. But I hadn’t been with any man other than the one who had betrayed me in the worst way. All these thoughts were racing through my mind, and Nash must have picked up on it.
“Hey,” he said, leaning over me from where he stood at the foot of the bed. “Don’t go overthinking this. I didn’t bring you in here to have sex.”
Well, those weren’t the words I wanted to hear either. I raised a brow. “And why not?”
“Because you were supposed to marry another man today. Because you’ve only been with one dickhead in your life, and we’re not going to rush this. I just wanted to bring you somewhere that I could make you feel good without worrying that a nosy six-year-old or an overzealous Bernedoodle would walk in on us.”
“You’re not having sex with me because my ex is a dickhead?” I pouted.
He ran his rough fingers along my jaw. “I’m not having sex with you tonight. And not because of him, but because there’s no need to rush. This is new. We don’t know what it is. So we’ll take our time.”
“I thought you didn’t do relationships. Isn’t this sort of your shtick? Casual sex. One-night stands. Flings. Hookups. Whatever the kids are calling it these days,” I said with a chuckle.
Had I ever been this comfortable with a man?
I’d dated Collin for more than a decade, and it was never like this. It was never easy and playful.
“Did you literally just list every description for a hookup that you know?”
“Yes, I believe I did.”
He leaned down and nipped at my bottom lip before kissing me hard and groaning into my mouth. And just like that, my body was on fire again. My fingers tangled in his hair. I couldn’t get enough.
I wanted more.
He pulled back and smirked. “Yes, casual hookups are normally my thing. Not that I do them a lot, but when I do go out and have some fun, it’s always casual. But this feels different.” He held up his hand to stop me. “I know you aren’t staying, but while you’re here, I want to do this right.”
“You don’t have to treat me like a porcelain doll. I’ll be fine. I’ve made it clear that I want this. I want you.”
“And you’ll have me. But you’ve been fucked over enough for one lifetime. How about you let me treat you the way you deserve to be treated? Even if it’s just for a few weeks or a few months.”
A lump formed in my throat, and I nodded. “Fine. I can get on board with your chivalrous plan. So why are we here?”
“I said I was going to make you feel good, and I meant it. I can do that without sticking my dick in you, or didn’t your ex ever show you how that’s done?”
My breaths were coming faster now as the anticipation of what he planned was building. “Well, you do have the best balls in town.”
A wide grin spread across his face. “And the best tongue, too. Do you trust me?”
I shouldn’t trust anyone, but I did trust this man. Maybe I was a fool. Maybe I’d get burned again. But I didn’t care in the moment. I nodded, and his mouth was on mine again.
He kissed me until my lips ached. I bucked up against him, desperate for release, as we made out and dry-humped like horny teenagers. And just when I was ready to lose my mind, his hand moved to the hem of my skirt. Fingers slid up my thighs, and he slid my panties to the side and dipped in.
“Fuck,” he hissed. “You’re soaked.”
My eyes fell closed at the feel of his fingers on my clit, teasing me the way they circled and then sliding down to my entrance.
“Nash,” I groaned into his mouth before he pulled back.
“I know, baby. You’re desperate to feel good. I’ve known it since the first time I saw you. I knew you needed to let go. And I can make you do that, if you trust me.”
“I trust you,” I whispered. “Now stop teasing me.”
His free hand moved to my shoulder and slipped the strap of my blouse down my arm before doing it to the other side. I wasn’t wearing a bra because I didn’t have a whole lot there to cover, and I sure as hell hadn’t realized I’d be lying like this in his bed. But I wasn’t complaining because I’d never felt so good.
He sucked in a breath as his eyes raked over my breasts. My nipples were rock-hard, eager for his mouth on them. His fingers were stroking me between my thighs, and the sensation was almost too much.
“Look at those pretty pink nipples and perfect tits. Fuck, Emerson. You’re so beautiful it’s hard to look at you sometimes.”
The irony was not lost on me.
I’d never felt more beautiful in my life than I did when this man was looking at me.
I barely knew him, yet he made me feel seen.
His mouth covered my breast, tongue flicking my nipple, just as his finger slipped inside me, and I nearly lunged off the bed. He chuckled against my chest before moving to the other side, taking turns licking and tasting and driving me mad.
He did this for the longest time, sliding in a second finger and moving in and out in the perfect rhythm.
Over and over.
His mouth on my breasts, his fingers between my thighs.
I was panting and sweaty and desperate for release as I started to buck against him faster.
“Nash, please.”
“Does this pretty little pussy want to come on my fingers?” he asked, pulling back to look at me, and his filthy mouth had me panting with desire.
“Yes,” I said with a gasp.
He chuckled as he watched me, and he pumped his fingers faster as his thumb pressed against my clit, knowing exactly what I needed.
“Let go, baby. I’ve got you,” he whispered, his gaze locked with mine as I rocked against him.
My teeth sank into my bottom lip, and I exploded.
White lights lit up the darkness behind my eyelids as my entire body shook and quaked. Pleasure lit every inch of me, and I cried out his name as I went over the edge.
It was the most powerful orgasm I’d ever experienced.
And I wished this night would never end.