Barely Breathing

It was late afternoon and the sky was dark, creating a halo of dim light enough to make you want to stay in bed, wrapped up like
a cocoon while enjoying a hot chocolate moment.
The beauty of dark, strong withering trunk and brown almost dull branches devoid of leaves outweighs its lifeless appeal. Any
moment now, snow would come and paint everything in white.
It is amazing how nature had to be disrobed of colorful flowers, leaves, wildflowers, the beauty it has, leaving everything bare
and lifeless in able for spring to come and replace what was lost into something more beautiful and more colorful.
Just as how life works.
This moment should have been perfect. Alone in the woods, enjoying its lifeless beauty if not me waiting for the alpha to come.
Hurt, anger, confusion, fear are messing with my emotions, turning them into a hurricane of swirling regrets and what-ifs.
Some might think I was overreacting. But no one would really understand the extent of pain one is going through even if you look
them in the eye. The eyes don't give it all away.
I knew he was near even before he made his presence known because for unknown reasons, I always knew when he's around.
It's an instinct which never led me wrong.
"Beautiful. Like the first snow of the year." Xyrus' deep voice held sincerity in it.
I glanced his way and caught him looking at me warmly just as the snow slowly dropped on his black hair. I always wanted that
shade instead of my fiery hair, like fire and blood.
I looked up at the sky and noticed little snow crystals starting to descend slowly in a synchronize tune.
Hands tucked on his jean pockets, two buttons undone from his shirt earlier showing his chiseled chest and a genuine smile
appeared on his lips. He was perfect, far from how imperfect I am. Why would he want someone like me?
He cleared his throat. "You call for me?"
"Yes..." I said in a cracked voice. Too many emotions swirling inside of me. I remembered Elony's words of me being claimed, the
reason I asked for him to meet me here.

"What is it princess, tell me I'm all ears." He reached to hold my hand but I put it in my back fast like fire on the skin which made
that thin line on his forehead and brows creased.
His gaze lingered on my now hidden hand on my back. "What's - wrong?"
Xyrus looks a bit tired now that I noticed it, there was a dark semi-circle under his eyes. It seems he was not sleeping properly
lately.
"Why did you do that?" I asked in a low voice, wanting all of these unwanted questions and confusion to end. I felt betrayed. I
thought at least he would respect my decision not to be claimed.
Xyrus tried to reach for my other hand but I moved away. My indifference getting a toll on him. Irritation slowly showing on his
face but he masked it with a smile.
"Done what? I- I don't understand. Princess, what's this all about?"
"Don't call me that! Don't you ever dare call me that again?" I was done with him calling me nicknames. I am not special in any
way, just a girl who longs for a normal life.
His smile faded at the slightest movement as he titled his head to the side, cupping his chin with his forefinger and thumb, and
then smirked. He seemed to be thinking hard then blurted out. "Little cloud, can I call you that then?"
"I am not a cloud!" Is he for real?
"Yes, you are." He said smiling then pinched my cheeks softly. "You are like a little cloud, sometimes bright, sometimes dark...
depends on your mood." He added proudly.
I swatted his hands and glared at him. How could he still throw jokes when I am right beside him fuming with anger.
"Ouch, violent much little cloud?" He faked hurt, holding his hands near his chest.
"I am not your little cloud!"
"Then can I call you princess again?"
"Urgh!" Frustrated I was. He's unbelievable!

I turned my back at him. I closed my eyes and breath deeply to calm myself. Breath in. Breath out. Hold it together Willow, you
didn't come here for this.
Breath in.
Breath o---.
"What's that on your back? Is that..."
Xyrus was closer than I thought. He pushed me gently aside, my back on him, and tucked some fallen hair on my neck. My hair
was in a bun. I felt his fingertips glide from my nape to the side of my shoulder. I shivered at his touch.
"Finally." Those were the words that fell from his lips but his gaze turned dark, calculating, far from his gentle voice.