Balance (Book 9 )

Gabriel looked into my eyes and smiled a warm smile. He gave a small kiss then helped me to my feet. The wounds on my back had already healed. I kept my tendril wrapped around Gabriel, never wanting to let him go. It was the most intimate way to be connected. I could feel the love he had for me. Pride and joy at seeing me whole and in my element filled him. He would never chain me to the underworld. It dulled my radiance.

I took his hand and began walking around the lake.

“Anubis? I noticed something else at the counsel I am curious about?”

“The unspoken events that go on are unspoken for a reason, Anput.” He warned.

“Did Set threaten me?”

“It is no longer an issue.”

“Please tell me. Why does Atum feel he must protect me? I have you to do that role. I am not without defense. Did I harm Set in my madness? Why did you tell me to stay away from him?”

Gabriel let a small sigh of frustration out, “I know you do not like unanswered questions. This is above you, Anput. If Atum wished for you to know his mind, he would have told you. Leave it alone. It is a matter of the elders now. I have told you all you need to know about the year you slept. As for my father, you will not speak of him to me. Do not pursue the matter.”

“Why will you not tell me? This concerns me. I feel I have a right to know. What are you protecting me from?”

Gabriel’s hand squeezed mine threateningly. The conversation was over. I must trust him and follow his command. I hated that he kept things from me. I began to feel frustrated that this vow to be completely open to each other keeps being broken.

“My vow to stay open has not been broken. There are private matters or conversations within the elders that you must respect. If the subject was for you to know, I would tell you. You have done the same as the matriarch. Trust me fully, Anput.”

I felt the sting of his words. He was master of my heart and keeper of my soul. I trusted my husband; however, I felt this conversation about me should be revealed, considering I was the subject. I was no one’s toy or pawn. I had a right to defend myself.

Gabriel could ear my thoughts and his patience with me was quickly coming to an end. I let it go for the time being. This subject would come again.

I walked further around the lake quietly, taking in my surrounding. The serene atmosphere and the dark, quiet god at my side lulled me. No matter his image, he had control over me. His green eyes could stop me in my tracks and command me. I would have no choice but to listen.

His body was tone and perfect. His muscled flexed and strained under his command. It always enticed me to see it. His posture was one of authority and increased his power over me. He was absolutely perfect for me. I wondered how I could have crept into his heart. Then I began wondering what Anubis saw in my soul.

Gabriel’s mood changed suddenly, and before I could react, he picked me up and threw me into the lake. My scream echoed and disappeared as I plummeted underwater. My gown felt heavy and prevented me from using my legs. Once I resurfaced, I saw Gabriel’s nude form dive into the lake. He came to me and helped remove the gown then returned to the bank to deposit the gown next to his clothing.

I began to swim away from him, taunting him to catch me. It was not far from here where we played a night of cat and mouse. The tree stood tall and proud and invited us to take shelter under its leaves.

Gabriel’s mind was always working and always calculating his next move. He liked to be mysterious and watch me look at him in wonderment. A mischievous grin crossed his face as he pursued me. When he got close enough, I pushed him under the water and escaped him. I swam several yards until I noticed he was not following me. The water had become calm. I could not see where he went.

A hand grabbed my ankle and pulled me down. Gabriel used the downward momentum to catch my face and kiss me. It was a long passionate kiss. I almost lost my breath. He allowed us to resurface and grabbed me and pulled me to him. His hand guided my legs to straddle him while I held onto his body. The feeling of his muscles excited me. I could never get enough of him. I was beyond thankful he belonged to me and no one else. I began kissing and nibbling on his neck as he held me like a child. His love for me is overwhelming.

“Would you like to see something? He asked.

“What is it?” I breathed, not entirely interested. I wanted more of his powerful touch. He pulled away from me, giving no indication he heard my thoughts.

“Take a deep breath and follow me.” I looked around the area. We were near the area where the mansion sat centuries ago. Gabriel took my hand and led me down deep. My lungs began to scream before I could go half way. I let go of Gabriel’s hand and resurfaced. I gasped and choked on the new air that entered my lungs. Gabriel came up behind me.

“I cannot go down that far.”

“You can. You are a Goddess. Use your power to sustain you.”

I called my power to me and looked around. The water had oxygen in it. I called the oxygen to me and allowed it to sustain my lungs. I indicated I was ready and followed Gabriel down twenty feet to the bottom of the lake. Gabriel moved dirt to reveal a tip of a spire of the mansion. He pulsed power near the base of the spire. Dirt clouded my vision. His hand reached out and took my wrist.

“Listen to the vibrations. What do you see?” Gabriel projected.

I closed my eyes and tapped my spear’s power to increase my vision. The dirt all around pulsed and echoed, making it hard to see. I traveled closer to where the spire was and touched it with my hand. It was hollow, and a broken window let water into the spire. This spire would travel down to the lower level, where the humans were stored for consumption. Gabriel’s hand reached for mine.

“Let us go in.” he projected.

The last time this situation happened, we were entering Anubis’s temple. It was a trap. I looked at Gabriel hurt, and my heart raced as I began to panic.

“I will not go in there.” I projected. I could not get enough oxygen from the water, and my lungs began to spasm.

“My mate, I assure you it is not a trap. I will go with you.” Anubis’s tomb flashed before me. I was no longer in the water. I was in the pyramid looking into blackness.

A serene calmness washed over me, taking the fear and anxiety away.

‘Master, there will be consequences if you betray me.’ My voice was hollow as my soul took my body over.

“Believe me, dear one. There is nothing here. You can trust me.” Anubis reached his hand out for me to take. I silently studied him and did not find fear or anger or the thought of betrayal.

‘I believe you, master.’ I relaxed and faintly heard my name.

“Anput!”

Power coursed through my body, bringing me back from my nightmare. I opened my eyes to see glowing green eyes peering at me.

”Anput, look at me. I am here.” I blinked and saw Gabriel.

“By the gods, I am so sorry.”

“I. I am alright.”

My racing heart had already calmed and relaxed enough for oxygen to flow smoothly through my lungs.

I must have fainted.

“You are not alright. I have wounded you more than you know. I pushed you too hard. It is unforgivable.”

“It is forgivable, husband, and you have been forgiven. Otherwise, I would have died and not married you.”

“I beg of you to trust me. I understand I have violated that trust. Can the last two millenniums reverse the violation and allow you to trust me? I give you my word; there is nothing in there that will trap you or harm you. This is your home.” I nodded. “You do not have to go in there. I will not force you.”

This made me feel better. I felt as though I could trust him fully. I felt foolish, allowing the fear of something that happened so long ago consume me.

Anubis has always cared for and provided for me. He has deceived me and manipulated me on several occasions, but he has never harmed me. His deception always had a good reason behind it. Something from deep within told me I owed him my life.

I counseled myself to never fear him again or his actions. I will learn how to study him as he has studied me. My actions are proof the gods are not immune to mental instabilities.

Gabriel allowed me to work through my thoughts without interference as I entered the spire and went to the bottom. Stairs that lead to the foyer were damaged. Gabriel followed me down and gently took my hand and led me up the stairs. The water stopped about halfway, leaving an air pocket. I let go of Gabriel’s hand and traveled up the stairs to the foyer. Both pillars that held the front entry had fallen. They lay crossed each other, forming an ‘X’ blocking the entry door.

“I am concerned about my well being.” I finally said.

“What is it?” His concern is evident as he put a hand on my shoulder to turn me around.

“I do not have memories of the events you have described. I feel I lost consciousness when I last spoke to Kebachet and again just as you revealed the mansion and invited me in. I have never felt lost in such a way. This is different from having my memory wiped. I am concerned I am damaged and have no control over my actions. I feel this is why I felt fear and anger in the council.”

Gabriel’s brilliant eyes glowed as he studied me. They told me of the depths of his love for me.

“You have changed Anput. Your soul has grown more powerful than any I have had the pleasure of knowing. You have found a way to concur irrational feelings and deal with the situation using facts and judgment. Your soul takes command of your mind and accesses the danger you are in. Your mind does not remember the times your soul takes control.

“Am I dangerous?”

“Only to those foolish enough to betray you.” He chuckled. When he saw the seriousness of my face, he cleared his throat, “When you became in raged with Kebachet’s admittance, your soul took over and began questioning him. You sounded devoid of emotion. It is similar to the time when you stood before a court studying a criminal. I remember well the harshness of your demeanor.” He smiled, remembering when he first came to me as a criminal slave. He thought it fitting his son would experience the coolness of the vampire goddess.

“Did I harm him?”

“You came to the conclusion his actions warranted a death sentence, and you attempted to kill him.”

Normally this news would have grieved me. I only felt justified I had done the right thing.

“And just now? What happened? Did my soul take over and judge you?” His eyes sparkled, and his grin widened.

“Yes, and you found me very worthy.” I could taste the deceit.

I frowned at him, and he took hands off me. “Do. Not Lie. To me.” I accented each word through gritted teeth. I could feel the heat of my glowing eyes, and the room vibrated with my growl.

Gabriel crossed his arms over his chest and only grinned. “You are amazing. I will learn much from you. Yes, your soul came because of your fear. You warned me not to betray you. I told you I had no intention of harming you. You gave me the cold stare that you get when you are studying someone and said you believed me, and then you relaxed as your soul rested.”

The lie was so small, but I smelt it like the decay of a rotting corpse in my presence. Gabriel did not entirely lie to me; he only exaggerated the truth, but it still felt like the end of the world.

I had a feeling I just became his new toy. He would be testing me and learning the way my mind worked and learning how to master me. He would work until he could break through my defenses and become blind to me once more. It was a game, nothing more. The knowledge he would get would prove invaluable to his benefit. His father would never be able to control him.

I turned from him and continued my tour of the mansion. The lounge and banquet hall was blocked. The double doors to the throne room, stood tall and untouched. I tried to open one of the doors; however, It had sealed closed. I used my power and forced the doors open.

Chairs and decorations laid scattered along the floor. I walked along the hall to my throne and carefully sat my chair on its feet. The fireplace was dark and cold. I touched a pillar. It was cold and lifeless. My heart began to break. Gabriel leaned in the door with his arms crossed his chest as he used to.

“You make a very handsome male, my mate.” I projected.

“You are just as beautiful. I sometimes miss seeing you here with your subjects.”

I walked toward him and touched his chest and kissed him lightly on the lips. The stairs to the guest chambers and the queen’s quarters were mostly intact. I traveled to the queen’s quarters and forced the door open. It was just as I left it. Nothing was out of place. My books and scrolls were organized and placed in their proper order. Twin blades with its harness leaned on the back of a couch.