Balance (Book 9 )

Three months passed when I felt Anubis calling for me. Anubis noticed more vampire souls were being sent at a faster than ever and human souls came under direst at an alarming rate. Anubis did not notice I had left the underworld to sedate my need for blood.

He commanded my heart. My love for him was deeper than my need for blood. He took comfort in that and summoned me to him and asked Osiris to keep the scales for a time.

I appeared in our bedroom in the image of Lara and waited for my husband to come. I missed him. I missed our time together and the relationship we had. He would have never allowed me to become too distant from him when we lived as vampires. The roles are reversed. He is master, and I am his mate. I do not have control over him, as Gabriel had control over me.

As Anubis entered the room, his features went from concern to anger. His green eyes pierced deep into my soul.

“Get out of your image and show respect!” I was in the god’s realm, and I was to appear as who I am.

“I am the vampire, Lara.” I had been in this image long enough to no longer wish to be connected to the underworld. My life as Anput started becoming a memory. It had been several months since I last saw Anubis.

“You are not. Lara is dead. You are Anput and I expect you to act like the goddess.”

I defied him. With the spear he gave me in my hand, I began to walk past him. Blood pooled where I stood. Anubis grabbed my arm and took the spear from my grasp.

“What have you done?” He asked incredulously.

“Death is the new life. I must help the living embrace death and save the earth from destruction.” I said flatly as I reached for the spear.

His touch on my arm warmed my heart. I missed him terribly. Anubis’s anger extinguished when he heard my thought. He dropped the spear away from me and commanded my body to become Anput. Once I was of his image, he embraced me and held me for a moment. His honey scent went through me. The warmth of his hard chest on my cheek is comforting. I embraced him back, wanting to be his and to do his desire.

“Why are you killing humans?” His voice is kind and rumbled in his chest. It is soothing to hear.

I do not wish to answer. I only wish to remain in this moment in Anubis’s arms. I want the world and our responsibilities to disappear and only have Anubis desire me as he once did.

I lifted my head and nuzzled Anubis’s jaw, begging him to love me. He pushed me away and held my shoulders.

“I will not ask again.” His deep voice vibrated my soul, and his eyes deepened to a dark green showing his displeasure. His fangs showed me he was commanding me. I lowered my gaze, unable to stand against him.

“I am not merely killing humans. Anything with a beating heart must die. The earth is infested and dies. Your brother refuses a war. If I cannot be a part of the living, then I will make the living a part of the dead.”

Anubis remained quiet as he studied me. I could not feel his emotions or hear his thoughts. It is as if he disconnected from me. His hand gently lifted my jaw so my eyes would meet his. My breath got caught in my lungs, and my heart leaped at his gaze, desperate for his command.

He is the keeper and protector of souls. He could see the depths of the soul no one else could. Mine is dangerously close to being lost. My love for him and his command over me are the only things supporting my soul and keeping me from completely losing myself to the blood lust that is consuming me.

I no longer care for our son. He is grown with his own duties. He was a wedding gift to Anubis, nothing more. Anubis is the only one worth living for.

Anubis continued holding my gazing, studying me.

‘The pain is too much, Master. I wish to live. Please let me live. I feel the release...’

When he finally spoke, his voice softened. “You will stay in this temple. Do not visit any other realm. Do not speak or look at another god until I return.” His voice was deep and sorrowful.

“Why do you close your mind from me?”

“My mind is opened to you if you care to listen.”

I closed my eyes and tried to reach out to Anubis. There was only silence. I opened my eyes and glared at him.

“You are my husband. I vowed to submit to you. You told me you would hold me to the vows we made under our tree in the western world. One vow was made that you have broken. Until you make it right, I will not submit to you.” I growled at him and broke free of his grasp.

Before Anubis could react, I turned back into Lara’s image, took the spear, and left to the western content of the world. A city would fall to my desire. I reappeared in front of Anubis in our bedroom. Anubis’s anger matched my own. It radiated off him. I dared him to strike me. I would love a fight.

His hand went to my neck and took the spear from my grasp. A growl came from deep inside of me as my anger toward him rose. The room disappeared, and the dark underworld materialized. Anubis wordlessly put me into a dark chamber. The walls were made of some sort of steel. I could see magic coated them. The walls were only an arm’s length apart. Anubis wordlessly dropped me and shut a door.

The door vanished, and my prison became solid. The darkness thickened, leaving me blind. I could not see my own hand. The prison kept sound out as well. The rhythm of my heartbeat and breathing were the only sounds I could hear. I was completely alone and could not feel Anubis. I had been abandoned by the one who swore to protect me. He vowed to love me for eternity.

I howled in despair and anger. The need to create war consumed me. I needed it like I needed to breathe. I felt I would die without the taste and feel for blood. I sat on the ground and mediated, looking for Cassandra. I found her resting peacefully in an apartment. I could not leave my cell.

“Wake Cassandra!”

Her eyes opened. I projected my need for blood into her mind. She did not necessarily need to feed. Bathing in it would be acceptable. I watched as she left her apartment. It is late at night. The city is still active with humans and vampires enjoying alcohol and sexual lusts. Drugs that created hallucinations were given out like candy. Cassandra walked several blocks to a known hive hang out. She knocked on a metal door. A sliding door opened to let a face appear. Cassandra quickly grabbed the jaw of the face and sent a dagger tendril to his mind.

“Open the door!” she commanded.

The door opened quickly. Cassandra severed the male’s tendril and left him dead. The hive came to her to defend the building. I gave her an image of a sword in her hand. She picked up an umbrella that had a metal tip at the top and began stabbing each vampire that came. The beautiful crimson blood sprayed and rained, soaking the already red carpet. I wished I could smell it and taste it. I watched as she hit and stabbed through the hive.

The female protector came. I could see she was troubled. I instructed Cassandra to sever her tendril and feed off her. I wanted to feel Cassandra’s pleasure as she took the protector’s life into herself. As she began, a black skeleton with black armor appeared before me. It took her and forced my mind out.

The door to my cell banged open. A tall jackal stood in the doorway. His gaze scared me. I looked away and tried to back away. His hand met my face knocking me over.

Powerful hands grabbed my neck and brought me to my knees. I heard growling. I looked up to see a powerful jackal with green, glowing eyes standing over me. His fangs were bared, and the eyes turned a shade of green with a red hue. I attempted to teleport away, but could not. I fought to get away from the growling monster that gripped my neck. My body would not work. I tried kicking and biting the jackal. My legs did not obey me. I began growling at the jackal. Ready to fight to the death if it ever released me.

“Anput.” I heard a voice call. It vibrated in my mind. I continued staring past the jackal that held me. “Anput, hear me.” The voice sounded familiar. It was deep and comforting. I looked around, hoping help came.

“My mate, relax. I am here.” Gabriel’s voice entered my mind.

“Gabriel?”

“Yes. I am with you.”

“No! It is a trick. You are dead!” I howled and tried to fight. I struck the Jackal in the face and growled. The impact hurt my knuckles. He did not flinch. I tried to swing my fist into him again. The jackal is in my mind and is controlling my body. Panic set in making my heart pound. I felt as though death is coming to claim me.

A scent of honey touched my mind. The jackal slowly lowered me, forcing me to lay on the ground and pinned my face onto the hard surface. His hand loosened slightly. I tried to take advantage of his mistake. My body would not move.

“I am not dead. We married in the god’s realm.”

Recognition came to me as I remembered our wedding and what my husband looked like. He is a tall, handsome jackal with glowing green eyes, and he held himself with a godly posture. His hair had been groomed and braided with golden beads. He wore a simple Roman robe, which I found strange, but he looked good in it. The day was beautiful and warm. I vowed to love him and serve him for eternity, and he vowed to protect his family with his life. It was both one of my happiest and scariest memories. Glad I was going to spend eternity with my mate but scared of the changes that were to come. I still had not fully gotten used to my new body.

“Anubis?” I looked at the jackal’s eyes out of the corner of my eyes. The familiar green eyes stared back.

“Yes, wife. I am here.” He released his hold on me, and I regained control over my body. I jumped to embrace him.

“Do not leave me here. I cannot bear to be away from you.” Comforting power came to me and warmed me.

“My love for you is great Anput. Why do you cause me disgrace?” I could feel Anubis’s heartbreak and his concern for me.

“Why did you hide from me?” I asked as tears began to stream down my cheeks. I was truly angry with him.

“I have not hidden from you. Your mind is maddening. You have been unable to stay connected to me.”

“Perhaps it is my madness that causes me to defect.” I sat back on to the ground. Sorrow filled my heart. “Everything is gone. Every ancient creature has succumbed to death. I led Cenn More and his pack to you. The clan in the western continent is gone. The old ways are dead. Humans leach of the earth and destroy it. They are not worthy of life! The vampires have become animals! I have not seen you pass one to Bardo!” My rage began building.

“It is not your place to pass judgment Anput. You are my wife. You must be by my side.”

My glare was strong enough to make anyone cower away from me. “You have not been my husband for centuries. Do not tell me my place!”

“You do not love me?” The pain he felt was evident in his eyes. I do not need to be connected to him to know my words hit him in the heart.

“I love the person I mated as a vampire. I loved the god whom I married a millennium ago. I do not know you.” I growled.

I sat staring at him, begging him to fight me or love me. Anubis only stared at me. He knew I was right. The roles had reversed. As a vampire male, he demanded my attention when I got too involved with my work. As his goddess, I am in no position to demand anything from him, making it easier to be consumed with his duty.

The world above me called to me. I no longer wished to sit and talk of this. He made his choice. It is time to continue my task.

“I have lived with the dead to be yours while life happens above me. I cannot live with the living, so the living must become the dead. The underworld will be the new way of life. I will spare the earth and bathe in blood.”

Anubis could see the insanity take over. “If you make that change, you will destroy everything. Atum will destroy you if the harmony of life is tipped. I will not be able to protect you.”

“Open your eyes, husband.” I hissed. “I have been abandoned by my family, and everything I once held dear is dead. The balance has been tipping for centuries while you hide in your duties to the dead! The world dies. If my life is forfeit, then I can do no wrong!” I growled as I stood up and balled my hands into fists.

Darkness took me, and I fell unconscious.