Back & Forth | Book 1 of Back & Forth Series

Not knowing what to say, I stare into the room in silence and confusion. What I’m seeing right now is weird, to say the least. Fake blood and dirt stained the clothes I wore the day I was kidnapped. It looks as though it has been dragged through a forest. When the fuck did he get the time to ruin my clothes like that? I just changed out of my clothes around an hour ago.

My gaze moves to a table with some makeup products on it. A blonde-haired woman is there preparing what she needs. She’s perhaps the makeup artist that’ll work on me. On the other side of the quite spacious room, there’s a chair positioned in front of a camera. What the fuck are they going to do with me?

“What are we going to do here?” I ask.

“I’m going to record you for your father’s blackmail video. You’ll have to act miserable and beg him to save you,” Alessandro explains monotonously. His face absent of any expression or emotion.

What? Alessandro is going to record me acting miserable and fucked up with my face and body full of fake bruises and wounds? All that time, money, and energy just to threaten my father? Why fake it though? He could’ve beat me up for real. No need to waste money on a makeup artist to make me look pathetic. However, he chose the more difficult path instead. This will be one of the weirdest shit I’ve ever experienced.

Luciano is right. This plan is stupid. I still can’t believe Alessandro is willing to go through this length and process just to threaten my father. What the fuck is actually going on through his mind? That, I don’t know. I know I can read his mind right now and find out why but I don’t want to believe anything that comes through that process just yet.

“Are you going to make me look like shit with makeup?” I ask, still in disbelief of Alessandro’s plan.

“Yes,” Alessandro says. Well, fuck. He sounds so damn confident in his plan.

“Why won’t you bear me up instead? It’ll absolutely look more convincing,” I say. Alessandro’s blank gaze bored into my eyes. I can almost hear him talking in my head saying, “are you serious?”

“Because if I want to sell you with high price, I have to keep your body in pristine conditions. A damaged good is undesirable,” Alessandro says with a matter-of-factly tone.

Right. I just remember that. Alessandro is going to sell me later- wait. No. He’s not going to do that? Or will he? He did say as long as I work for him to find the moles, he’ll let me stay here and then let me leave once we catch all the moles. Or is the change of plan he meant earlier is this? Will he still end up selling me if I fail in getting the traitors? Shit. That’s probably his plan. Until then, I guess I’m just a product. I need to be in good condition to be valuable.

All that aside, I don’t understand why Alessandro won’t just kidnap my father. He could’ve threatened him directly if my father is the one who he kidnapped instead of me. It’s all already done anyway. I’m stuck here until I get all the traitors through reading people’s minds.

“Before you do all this, let me make this clear. Well, Luciano did say that he has told you about this but I’m going to tell you about it again anyway,” I say, shrugging.

“My father doesn’t give a shit about me. He won’t do anything to come and save me. When I tell you this stupid blackmail shit won’t work, it won’t. Trust me. You’re just wasting your time and money doing this. I worth nothing to my own father,” I explain. Sadly, that’s the truth. It has always been the truth. When my father got the video from Alessandro, I’m sure he’ll only scoff at it and go on with his days guilt-free with zero fuck given at my well-being.

“Who knows if your father somehow has a change of heart after seeing you looking so fucked up,” Alessandro says. I scoff at his words. Impossible. My father won’t change even if someone records me being in a near-death situation.

“That’s what Luciano told me as well last night but no. He won’t. My father won’t ever change but if you insist, it’s up to you. You’re the boss here and I’m just your little hostage,” I say. There’s a glint of sadness behind his eyes as he stares down at me. It disappears in seconds as he focuses his attention on the matters at hand.

“We’ll go through with my plan. Besides, the makeup artist is already here so let’s not waste her time,” Alessandro says. I glance at the makeup artist, finding her busy looking through her makeup case for something.

“Change into your old clothes and then get your makeup done,” Alessandro says.

“Okay.”

Now that I’m alone in the room, I quickly change into my fucked up old clothes. The reflection of myself in the mirror wearing my dirty-looking clothes makes me scrunch my nose in disgust. I already look bad in my clothes. How much worse will I look with the makeup on?

Outside the room, I find Alessandro standing across me and talking with the makeup artist. The look of seriousness on his face tells me how important her job is. She must do my makeup perfectly or else she might get lower payments if the result is not as he expected.

“I’ve changed my clothes,” I say. The two person before me shift their gaze to me.

“Get back into the room. She’ll do your makeup now,” Alessandro says.

“Okay.”

As I take a seat on the chair in front of the table, the woman stands next to me. She begins her work by putting some foundation over my face and neck. In the mirror, I see the reflection of me, lacking in colour. The woman starts applying some red-coloured product and brushes it over my right cheekbone.

The brush tickles my face as the makeup artist continues doing her job with seriousness and focus written all over her face. With drowsy eyes, I stare at my reflection in the mirror again. My hair suddenly gets ruffled vigorously by the woman before I can react to how I look. My sleepiness vanishes, but now dizziness has invaded my head.

“A little warning won’t hurt, you know?” I say, slightly annoyed by the woman’s previous action. The focused frown on her face disappears. Now an apologetic smile is there as she stares down at me.

“Sorry,” the woman says.

“It’s fine,” I say. With my head still dizzy and spinning a bit, I let out a sigh. The woman focuses on my face again, observing her work with a deep frown marring her face once again.

“Im done,” the woman says. My eyes widen once I get a clear look of myself in the mirror. Everything looks real. The wound and dried blood on the corner of my lips, the bruises over my face, neck and arms. They all look indistinguishable from the real thing.

“Wow. The bruises and wound look so real. You did a good job at making me look horrible,” I say, continuing to admire her flawless work on my skin. The makeup artist glances at me and then smiles as she packs up her stuff.

“Thanks. Just doing my job,” the woman says with a light smile.

The woman leaves as soon as she finished packing up her stuff. Alessandro has been quiet all the time, watching the makeup process in silence. He’s now standing behind me, looking at my face through the mirror with his usual cold expression.

“So, are you the one who’s going to pretend to beat me up?” I ask.

“No. Luciano will be the one who acts with you. I’ll be the one behind the camera. He should’ve arrived here thirty minutes ago,” Alessandro says. Now his attention is on his phone screen as he types words on it, most definitely texting Luciano about his whereabouts.

“Where the fuck is he?” Alessandro mutters.

I imagine how the scene will be. Am I going to be tied to the chair or not? How will Luciano pretend to punch me? Will it end up looking fake as fuck like one of those cringe short movies on YouTube?

“Uh, anyway, am I going to be tied up onto that chair?” I ask, pointing at the empty wooden chair in front of the camera.

“Yes,” Alessandro says a he shoves his phone back into his trousers pocket.

“Okay,” I say.

I look in the mirror once again. The sight of myself brings a grimace to my face. My hair seems to have gone through the round hairbrush disaster without the hairbrush stuck in my hair. I wonder if my hair will get back to its normal condition after I wash and brush it later. I hope it’s not that badly tangled.

I brush a strand of hair away from my face and stare at the table blankly. If this blackmail video works on my father, that would be a fucking miracle but knowing how he acts towards me all the time, I’m not going to get my hopes up. I know he’ll ignore the threat unless he’s in the life-threatening situation himself.

Fifteen minutes has been spent in silence. Alessandro has been busy with his phone most of the time with his back against the wall. My mind feels like it’s trying to tell me something about him yet nothing comes through clearly. I don’t think it’s something bad but it does feel important. However, even if I get an information through reading his mind, I won’t take it seriously unless he said it.

The sound of footsteps wake me up from my daze. I turn around and see Luciano coming through the doorway dressed in a casual attire with a white short-sleeved shirt and a pair of brown trousers. A slight fatigue covers his face as he stares at the floor. His eyes widen when he notices how I look currently.

"Damn. Looks like you've been dragged through hell," Luciano says. His eyes remain wide open as he stares down at me.

“Yeah. I know,” I say. I look at my reflection again and sighs at my awful looks. He’s not wrong. I look like shit.

“Where the fuck were you?” Alessandro asks, his glare is stern. Luciano turns to him and gives him a scowl.

“You know I was meeting with the Bolsero. They kept my phone away,” Luciano explains.

“That meeting should’ve ended an hour ago,” Alessandro says. Luciano sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.

“I know but he was trying to convince me to give him the fentanyl. I didn’t agree to it, of course,” Luciano says.

Fentanyl? They have fentanyl? Shit. I hope they won’t use it on me. That shit is lethal and I don’t think dying because of drug overdose is good. I’d rather them shoot me in the head if they want to kill me.

“How did he know about the fentanyl? We never announced it as something for sale. It’s only for our personal use,” Alessandro says.

Personal use? What personal use? Ah, for pain relief purposes. That’s understandable. They get involved in dangerous situations a lot so getting wounds from an altercation is expected.

“I don’t know. Perhaps from one of the traitors,” Luciano says.

“Fuck. We need to get it out of the warehouse and keep it here instead,” Alessandro says.

“Ah, so you guys sell drugs, huh?” I say. Luciano turns to me and then cusses under his breath.

“Shit. I forgot you’re here,” Luciano says.

“Don’t worry. I won’t say anything. It’s not like I can tell the authorities about this anyway,” I say, shrugging.

“Alright. Now that Luciano is here, let’s start the recording. I have a meeting in two hours so let’s make this quick,” Alessandro says.

I sit on the chair in front of the camera, staring at it with a frown as I think of my plan. I guess I’ll just act miserable just like what Alessandro told me. There’s nothing much I can do while being tied in a chair.

The loose rope around my wrist makes me deadpan at Luciano. He still has his eyes on the rope as he ties the rope over itself but still loosely tied regardless.

“Seriously?” I say.

Luciano finally stares at me, his gaze full of confusion with his eyebrows raised.

“What?” Luciano asks.

“Tie it tighter. I can still move my hands. That won’t look real on the camera,” I say. To prove my point, I move my hands around and they still can move freely under the rope. I look at him again and give him a look. “See?”

Luciano frowns at my suggestion. If I’m reading his mind correctly right now, he’s actually kinda scared to hurt me. Alessandro might kick his ass if he damages me.

“It’ll hurt you and leave rope burns and bruises. You know we can’t get you wounded,” Luciano says.

“Yeah. I know,” I say, rolling my eyes at the obvious reason. “But how can I act scared and pathetic if I can barely feel the rope?”

With unreadable expression, Luciano continues to stare at me. He then turns to Alessandro, silently asking him for permission. My gaze is now also on Alessandro who has his arms crossed over his chest. Alessandro shifts his gaze to Luciano and then nods to him, granting him the permission to tie me tighter. Sighing, Luciano undoes the tie and then wraps the rope a lot tighter around my wrists. I suppress a pained groan, gritting my teeth at the feeling of the coarse rope rubbing against my skin. Luciano does the same with my ankles and then gets back on his feet.

“Now what?” I ask. Despite the pain I’m feeling on my wrists, I keep my face straight. I don’t want the two men in front of me to say “told you so” from being stubborn about the tightness of the rope.

“Just follow Luciano’s lead. He’ll pretend to punch or choke you and all you need to do is improvise,” Alessandro says.

“That’s it? Alright. Let’s get started,” I say.

The camera is finally on, recording me and Luciano. I begin my act of being pathetic and miserable as Luciano stands next to me with his hands clasped in front of him.

“You think I’m lying about hurting your daughter but no. As you can see, I’m not,” Alessandro says from behind the camera.

“If you want her back with no further damage, pay your fucking debt. If not, I’ll sell her to be a fucking whore,” Alessandro says.

“Any words for your dearest father?” Luciano asks. The question almost gets me to cringe and laugh at the same time. However, I keep my frightened expression on display. I continue to stare at the camera, unsure of what to say to my father. What should I say to him anyway? I have no words for him. He won’t even care if I say something heart-wrenching.

The light grasp around my neck snaps me out of my daze, making me look up at Luciano. The serious look on his face breaks me into laughter. A snort to be precise. Holding back my laughter only causes my shoulders to shake.

Luciano lets go of me, a look of confusion slowly coming onto the surface. Alessandro stares at me with annoyance and slight anger, seemingly irritated of me breaking my act. I let out a sigh, finally regaining my composure.

“I’m sorry. You can’t expect me to act frightened with that nonexistent pressure around my neck despite the serious look you have on your face. Just choke me, like for real. Scare me. Make me frightened like a little puppy,” I say. My grin stays on my face as the serious look on Luciano’s face earlier replays itself in my head.

“It won’t be acting if I do that,” Luciano says.

“I don’t care. Just do it. Make me beg for my life and my father to save me,” I say, glaring into Luciano’s eyes challengingly.

“Fine. Your words, not mine,” Luciano says. Threats lace his voice as he glares back at me. Let’s see how scary he can be.

Now Alessandro’s eyes are back on the camera again. With a slight shake of his head and a frown, he begins the recording once again. I put on my saddest and most frightened expression with Luciano standing next to me.

Here we go.

“I’m not lying about hurting your daughter. Here’s the proof. You have such a beautiful daughter. It’s a shame her pretty face is ruined now but I have to do it because you leave me no choice,” Alessandro explains. His words almost cause me to cringe but I keep myself look scared. For dramatic effect, Alessandro stops talking for a few seconds as he continues to frown at the camera. I stare at the lens with a frown, silently begging my father to help me through my gaze.

“If you want her back, pay your fucking debt before the 18th. If you don’t do it, I’ll sell her. Not only will I sell her but I will also send my man to kill you. It’s your choice. Pay your debt if you want to stay alive,” Alessandro says. He then nods at Luciano, a cue for Luciano to start his act.

Did Alessandro just say he’s also going to kill my father? What the fuck? If he’s going to kill him in the end, why bother kidnapping me? He should’ve threatened to kill my father from the start and not involve me in this shit. Welp, I guess Alessandro really needs his money back. One of the way to get it back is through selling me. At least that was his initial plan.

“Any last word for your dearest father?” Luciano asks. His gaze is fixed on me as I continue to stare at the camera. Feelings of fright, uncertainty, and pain mixed inside of me and I don’t think it’s just an act. It feels pretty real to me. What I regret the most now is telling Luciano to tighten the rope. I’m sure as hell that there’ll be rope burns around my wrists later.

I stay quiet, not letting out a single word out of my mouth. From the corner of my eyes, I see Luciano moves closer to me. His tight grip on my jaw forces me to look up at him. My heart beats faster from how cold and angry Luciano looks at the moment.

Shit. Luciano definitely takes this way too seriously than I thought he would. He’s fucking scaring me. At this point, I’m literally at loss for words. Remind me not to mess with him for real. If this is actually acting, he’s really fucking good at it. Too fucking good.

“Answer the fucking question,” Luciano seethes. His harsh tone further causes my emotional turmoil. Tears pool in my eyes and my body trembles from fear as I continue to stare at him. The way his nails are digging into my face isn’t helping. I begin to rethink my decision, still not knowing how to answer Luciano’s previous question.

Luciano shoves my face away. The harsh move hurts my neck a little, causing me to wince. My gaze is now fixed on my lap as I breathe shakily and cry silently.

“Tell your father to save you,” Luciano says.

I stare at the camera. Tears are flowing freely from my eyes nonstop. I think of the words to say to my father. Fuck it. I’ll say whatever comes to mind.

“Uh, father, I know I haven’t been a good daughter to you but please get me out of here. I’m scared. They’ve been hurting me. I can’t take it anymore,” I say. I break down in tears, sobbing as my tears continue to stream down my face.

“You heard that. Pay your debt and save her and yourself before it’s too late,” Alessandro says.

“Please, father! Save me! I’m sorry for everything. Please get me out of here,” I shout, struggling against the restraint around my wrists and ankles for more drama. Fuck. This hurts so fucking bad.

“Shut up, you bitch,” Luciano says. After a fake punch on my cheek, I let my head hang low, sobbing quietly to myself. It’s not really an act anymore. How painful the ropes around my wrists are making me feel actually causes me to cannot hold back my crying anymore but of course, after all of this is done, I won’t let them see it. Let them think of it as an act. I can’t let them see me looking vulnerable.

“We’re done,” Alessandro says.

“Finally,” I say.

My crying and sobbing goes into a halt. The pathetic expression on my face has now long gone. I turn to Luciano and he’s already staring at me with concern. The scary look on his face has disappeared.

“Are you okay? Shit. I dug my nails into your face,” Luciano says. He gently turns my face around, frowning as he inspects the damage he caused. I look away from him and hide behind my hair.

“I’m fine,” I say.

“I don’t think so,” Luciano says. He quickly unties me, freeing me from the tight grip of the ropes. I stretch my arms in front of me but immediately stop when I feel a sting around my wrists. The sight of the visible burns, bruising, and bleeding around my wrists makes me frown. Luciano didn’t lie about the wounds. My wrists are now red and slightly bleeding from the friction of the rope against my skin. I’m absolutely at fault for this so I won’t blame Luciano. He’s just doing what I told him to do.

“See? I told you,” Luciano says, sighing as he observes my wounds while he holds my lower arms.

“Yeah. That’s on me,” I say.

“It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have tied the rope that tight,” Luciano says.

“Go take care of her. I’ll deal with the recording,” Alessandro says. The camera screen has his full attention when he says those words.

“Yes, boss,” Luciano says. He helps me to my feet by pulling me up by the upper arms. The apparent stinging pain on my wrists causes me to press my lips together, failing to not look vulnerable in front of Luciano despite my previous promise to myself.

“Come on. Let’s clean up your wounds,” Luciano says.

“Okay.”

The hallway is still as gloomy as it was despite the sufficient lighting. I keep following Luciano, unsure of where he’s actually taking me. I really hope we won’t take long to treat my wounds. I can’t stay any longer in my fucked up clothes anymore. I also need to get rid of the makeup. I don’t want to scare anyone looking as shitty as I am right now.

“Did I scare you? You looked genuinely frightened and the crying also looked real,” Luciano says.

Oh Luciano. You’re absolutely right about that. Earlier, I was scared shitless of you. However, his grip on my face though-

Wait. No. I’m not going there. Absolutely not. What the fuck am I even thinking? Stop it before you regret it, Allura.

“To be honest, you did scare me for real. I didn’t thought you’d be gripping my face that roughly,” I say. We stop in front of a sink at the end of the hallway and turn to each other.

“I’m sorry about that,” Luciano apologises. He truly seems apologetic about his action earlier. He doesn’t need to apologise though. The good thing is, what he did makes the video look even more real. More emotional and threatening for my father.

“No, no. You don’t need to be sorry. That’s how it was supposed to be. You know, method acting,” I say, smiling reassuringly at Luciano.

“But I hurt you. Fuck. Alessandro is definitely mad at me,” Luciano says, sighing.

“Nah. Don’t worry about the wounds. I heal fast. These light burns will definitely heal completely in a day but it will take longer for the bruises to disappear,” I explain. Luciano shakes his head a little, not convinced enough by my statement as he turns on the water.

“Okay. Let the water run over your burns,” Luciano says. I let the cool water flow over my wrists and gently rub the blood off. I turn off the water and turn to Luciano again, curious on the quite strange placement of the sink.

“Why do you have a sink here? I’m sure there’s a bathroom down here but why put one sink at this specific location? I mean near the basement exit?” I ask.

“You don’t want to know why,” Luciano says.

“Oh, I absolutely want to know why,” I say. I already have my own suspicion, which is to clean off the blood from their hands after a torture session, but I want to hear it straight from Luciano.

“To wash hands, of course,” Luciano says with a light smile. I roll my eyes at his too obvious and general answer.

“Duh. But from what? Blood after torturing people?” I ask. Luciano’s smile falters at my unconfirmed assumption.

“Yes. How did you know that?” Luciano asks with a suspicious stare. I shrug in response.

“Just putting things together. Besides, why would you have so many rooms down here other than to lock people in and torture them?” I ask.

“You’re right but we rarely torture people down here unless the traitors are working here. We rarely find one so we don’t get our hands dirty with blood often,” Luciano explains.

They rarely torture people here? Okay. Then why is this place hidden? What are they doing down here? It’s definitely still related to the mafia stuff but what is it exactly? Do they also hide drugs in here?

“If that’s so, what are people doing down here mostly? There has to be important things going on down here because the entrance itself is hidden,” I say.

“Just work. Mostly boring work in front of the computer. I’m not going to say anything else,” Luciano says, not wanting to spill out the secret of the organisation.

“Understandable,” I say.

I don’t pry any further but I suddenly get that this basement is kinda the headquarters for the organisation or something. Not all the members of the organisation know about this place but the upper ranks and surveillance and cyber security division do know this place.

Oh. So that’s who those men are. I mean the men I met in the dining room. They are the bosses under Alessandro’s leadership. I’m not sure what they’re called though. They’re like a boss under a boss. Ah, yes. Kind of like the head of the department of some sort. Oh wait. I think they’re called capo regime or something. I’ve read something about mafia hierarchy a long time ago and I think that’s what they’re called. So, that makes Alessandro the don or the boss and Luciano is probably his underboss. I’m not really sure though.

This place is like where the fancy schmancy stuff operates, mostly everything related to the internet such as online communication, trades through the deep web or black market, and also security surveillance of the ground. Interesting. Did I got that from reading Luciano’s mind accidentally? Maybe.

“Let’s go upstairs and get your wounds treated,” Luciano says.

We walk through the shelf and Luciano pushes it back to its place, hiding the entrance to the basement. After a few steps, Luciano opens a door and inside is a literal clinic room. There’s everything you can find in a real clinic, an examination bed, shelves full of medicines, and other medical supplies and equipment. I never thought a house would have a room like this. Now that I think about it, this room is important to have in every house, not just in a mafia boss’s house.

“Sit on the bed. I’ll get some bandages and for you,” Luciano says. I push myself onto the bed, completely forgetting the wounds around my wrists. I wince silently and then sit on the bed as Luciano rummages through the shelf for the needed supplies. In his hands, there are a roll of bandage, a roll of tape, a pair of scissors, and a bottle of something.

“You can’t put ice pack on your bruises now because it could worsen the rope burns. However, this aloe vera gel might help with the bruising while also helping the wounds to heal,” Luciano explains. He rubs a little amount of the cooling gel over my wounded wrist while gently holding my arm. The sight somehow causes my cheeks to tingle from sheepishness. Why am I feeling like this? He’s literally the bad guy. He kidnapped me and brought me here.

After applying the aloe vera gel on my wrists, Luciano begins to wrap my right wrist with the bandage. My gaze focuses on his face while he continues to wrap my wrist gently with the bandage. His quick glance at my way makes me look down on my wrist, avoiding his gaze. My heart beats fast from almost being caught staring at him. I now only stare at our hands, not taking the risk of getting caught staring by Luciano again.

After wrapping both of my wrists in bandages, Luciano walks away from me and goes to the shelf. He puts some of the stuff away and then comes back to me.

“Feel better?” Luciano asks.

“Much better. Thank you,” I say.

“No problem. I’ll check your wounds again tomorrow to see if they actually healed completely just like what you said earlier,” Luciano says. He sounds sceptical about my previous statement and I roll my eyes at him.

“I said it based on my experience. If they haven’t healed by tomorrow, then it’ll heal the next day,” I say, shrugging.

“Alright. We’ll see about that tomorrow and the day after tomorrow,” Luciano says.

Drowsiness suddenly attacks me, causing my eyelids to drop and almost close themselves. I fight the heaviness in my eyes, not wanting to fall asleep right here, right now.

“Can I go to my room now? I’m sleepy,” I say.

“Is there anything you need to do on your schedule?” Luciano asks. Right. My life has a schedule now. I hate it so much. It seriously won’t make a difference. I heard that it takes 21 days or so to make a habit so a week is not enough to change me. I don’t think it’s true either.

“Wait. Let me check,” I say. I fish out the folded piece of paper from the pocket of my sweatpants- Wait. I forgot to change back into my new clothes! This is my old dirty and bloodied clothes. Shit. My schedule is in the sweatpants pocket.

“The schedule is on my new clothes,” I say.

“Alright. I don’t think you have anything to do until lunch so you can go back to your room. I’ll take you there,” Luciano says. Good. I can finally go back to sleep again.

Now I’m back in my bedroom. I throw myself onto the bed and then sigh at the feeling of the bed but then immediately feeling grossed out by the told fact that Alessio always does the deed on this bed. Yikes.

“I’m leaving now. Don’t forget to drink your water. The bottle on your nightstand is for your daily consumption. You must drink all the water in a day,” Luciano explains.

I turn to the nightstand. The sight of a huge grey-coloured water bottle brings a frown to my face. There’s no way I’ll finish it all in a day. That’s too much fucking water for me.

“Okay,” I say.

“I’ll be back before 1 for lunch,” Luciano says.

“Alright. Please only wake me up when it’s time for lunch already,” I remind Luciano, not wanting what happened earlier to happen again. Please don’t wake me up too early again. I’d like to use every second I have for sleeping.

“Okay,” Luciano says.

“Good. Ciao. See you later,” I say. Already comfortable in my current position, I don’t bother to move to a better position for my nap. The door clicks closed and I keep my eyes shut, slightly relieved that Luciano already leaves the room. Only God knows how long the time has passed until I finally fall asleep and stay in a dark, dreamless nap.