Back and Stronger: Alpha's Daughter

“Where are we?” Sophia asked looking out of the window but not seeing anything familiar to her anymore.

They’ve been driving for quite a while now, and for the first time she felt a little worried about where they intended to take her, even though she knew freaking any place would be better than them taking her back to her father and her basement.

But Sophia had quickly forgotten about her concern of their location when she heard the diaphanous hollowness within her own voice. It was also very raspy and gravelly to her ears as she still needed to get some water down her throat to alleviate the dryness there, but she also knew that it wouldn’t be sufficient enough to fix the abysmal emptiness there.

There deep, deep within her. There she felt the darkness pulsing and expanding. There where it was pushing and pushing against her restraint. There it was threatening to extend its borders. Borders she had been desperately trying to keep at bay, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to for much longer.

As though Neil could hear it all in her voice too, he tightened his hold on her again as though he could protect her from it, but she could feel that even he felt helpless in the face of the inevitability of it.

“We are in Aolith,” he informed her in a gentle voice, but Sophia could hear the strain in it. “We are taking you to our apartment. You will be safe there.”

“We’re almost there,” Scott chipped in, attempting to add to the assurance Neil was also wanting to make her feel, but try as she may, she couldn’t make her feel that small comfort they attempted to offer her.

At least Scott’s driving had improved a while back when it was clear that they weren’t being pursued by anyone. After a few of her moans of pain in protest to his rough driving, he got the message. He was now turning the car around bends without careening them from one side to the other in the backseat, and slowed significantly over the bumps in the road.

She knew that their slow progress was due to him having to be more careful, but it truly felt like the drive took forever. Or maybe time has just slowed for her, as it did feel like she was caught within a timeless realm of sorts.

It was almost like she was adrift in space, floating aimlessly within its ineffable void. As though she was an integral part of the peaceful lento of the cosmos, she watched from afar as the earth slowly slid along its orbit while twirling around its axis. It was an eternal dance true to the definition of ‘going nowhere slowly’, she thought to herself, but unconditionally adhering to the symphony and laws of the universe.

As if Sophia was just another celestial body watching on, she felt blissfully detached from all the struggles happening on the surface of that blue orb in front of her. Especially preferring to remain unaware of the broken girl in the backseat of a sedan driving down one of the many streets there, who’s whole life had just taken a turn onto a frightful road unknown to her. Literally, as well as figuratively.

It was the reprieve she needed while her mind prepared to try and come to terms with what had happened to her. But she needed that respite to be just a little while longer, so she continually denied it access as it prodded at her.

Sophia just wanted to remain out here, where it was easier, and where she could perpetually just waft through the heavenly expanse of nothingness. She felt safe here. Removed from the world and everything over there. Here she felt like she could breathe, despite its lack of oxygen.

It was probably not the healthiest way of dealing with things, for Sophia knew very well that being in denial and shying away from the truth staring her right in her proverbial eye was just extending the inevitable. And by ‘extending’ it would only make it worse and worse for her going forward. But she couldn’t help as she stubbornly kept pushing and pushing against her mind leaning toward the tendency to want to deal with it.

Mrs. Carrick’s voice drifted across her consciousness, reminding her of what she once said while they were on the Psychology module of their Health and Wellness curriculum a few weeks ago.

“De-Nile isn’t just a river in Egypt,” she had said cryptically, with a small smile playing across her lips.

Sophia remembered that it had taken everyone in class a considerable while before they got it. When they had finally caught its meaning though, everyone had laughed and enjoyed being caught out by the little joke. It had especially been relevant after having to sit through a whole hour’s worth of discussing the psychological concept of denial, and that it was an unhealthy coping mechanism that they should try and avoid if at all possible.

She also recalled how it had become something the shifter kids would say to one another whenever the smallest opportunity had been presented to them. Whether it had been to prove a point they were trying to make, or when someone didn’t want to believe something.

They’d unknowingly cheapened the saying and the significance of it, but Sophia was able to understand its full meaning now. Now when she herself was in adamant denial. It has swept her up into its powerful currents, and in her mind there was no use in trying to swim against it. But at the same time she was ignoring the stumps and branches within reach, offering her a way out.

A denial river indeed…

“We’re here,” Scott announced, pulling her back to herself as he pulled the car into the driveway of a small, plain, but cozy looking place.

It was quiet around them as Sophia noticed that no one was around. Given, the sun had set already a little while ago, and most people would be inside making dinner at this time, but it still felt like they were the only three shifters around.

As Neil opened the door so they could get out, Sophia was hit in the face with a breath of fresh crisp air, and it was what she needed to think a bit more clearly. Especially when Neil picked her off his lap and placed her beside him on the cold leather seat so he could get out ahead of her, a major part of the haze suddenly lifted from her mind as well.

It was as though the break from his touch had caused it. The absence of his warmth was what brought about the shattering of her dreamscape she was still absentmindedly dwelling around in. The gasp she’d heard coming from her dry throat, made Neil apologize thinking that he had hurt her by moving her, but it was more the force and pain of reality that had hit her then.

The moment he was out of the car, turned and was about to bend down to pick her up again, Sophia violently refused, “Leave me. I can walk by myself.”

Halfway down to her, Neil froze and his stunned gaze looked into her eyes. Eyes that must have made her look like a wild thing, but she didn’t care. Sophia just couldn’t bear the thought of being touched at that moment. Not even by him. Not even when she saw the hurt flash in his eyes.

She saw him and Scott sharing a severe look, as Neil decided to not try and assure her again but took a wary step back from her instead. Sophia hated herself for what she saw she had just done by the look on his expression.

As she willed herself not to make a single sound of protest as she pushed herself up and out of the car, she noticed that his fingers seemed to be itching to help her, but she was glad that he thought it better to keep his distance. Even as the pain within her abdomen forced her to walk slowly toward the front door of their apartment, Neil and Scott remained patiently at her sides, far enough away not to make her snap at them again, but close enough to help if it was needed.

Sophia knew that it was irrational for her to suddenly treat them like this, causing them to tiptoe around her, but it was like she didn’t want to feel a single touch from anyone ever again. No matter from who.

It was as though the overpowering need she had earlier to never let go of Neil, holding on for dear life, had simply transformed into the complete opposite. It was like this new exigency had effectively pushed her need for his warmth over the edge and into oblivion.

She couldn’t explain it, and it frustrated the hell out of her, but she had no control whatsoever over it. It was like she just knew that any touch to her skin would instantly send images to her forebrain, reminding her of what happened with Matthew earlier, and she wanted nothing else than to never remember ever again.

When they finally made it through the front door, Sophia found herself looking around the unadorned space. With her back to the door they had just entered, there were plain but comfortable-looking couches to her right facing a television set, with a Xbox with its controls on the small table in between. As her tentative eyes kept scanning, there was a dining table big enough for six people a few steps in front of her, and behind it an open plan kitchen.

All of it looked modern but in an austere style kind of way. If Sophia had ever been somewhat concerned whether another female shared this space with them, she could rest easy now. There was absolutely no feminine touch to the place.

Scott had just disappeared through the door ahead and to the left of her, still talking to Neil, who was standing there by the entrance with his attention on his friend and whatever he was busy with in there, though Sophia could tell that he was keeping a wary eye on her in his periphery.

Not wanting to sit or move too much, she remained standing there, her arms tight around herself – a gesture of being cold or uncomfortable, but in her case it counted toward both.

The two men were in discussion about things she couldn’t entirely bring herself to pay attention to. Something about their safehouse again, then someone they knew called Iris that could help them get untraceable equipment and phones, then how she could also help organize new documentation for all of them.

“And you know what Chris will have to do to your car, right?” she heard Scott saying from his room as she also heard the sound of something that very much sounded like he was loading a gun.

“Yeah,” Neil let out a breath of sadness. “It is what it is. Make sure you get a nicer car from him than we got last time.”

There was a chuckle from Scott at that. “I’ll just notch up my charm if he doesn’t.” At the word ‘charm’, Sophia saw him exiting his room and patting the pistol at his hip that was strapped to his belt.

Who are these guys? Sophia found herself wondering despite herself, feeling the first trickles of uncertainty and fear.

What are they?

Certainly not plain security guards…

What if they were criminals?

What if they were part of some kind of mafia?

No, what if they were terrorists?

The dawning alarm she felt as her brain went through all the possibilities of what they possibly were made her feel like she wanted to run back out of that door she had just entered through a moment ago.

Misreading her disturbed expression, Neil looked at her as he handed over a file of some kind to Scott. “Don’t worry, Sophia. We will make sure that your father never finds you. We’ll do everything we can to ensure your safety.”

What she saw there in them, and what they were clearly capable of, as they went on sorting through things, they did so with an efficiency that was impressive but unnerving at the same time. Even the way Scott was filling his pockets with ammunition, more weapons, papers and electronic devices she didn’t exactly recognize, it was clear that this was something they were well trained and prepared for.

“Be careful,” Neil said as he gave his friend a slap on the back just when it looked like he was ready to leave and do everything they had just been discussing and planning. “Good luck.”

Scott smiled reassuringly and grabbed Neil’s arm in a way of making a promise and saying goodbye for the time being. “I will – and you too, brother,” he said as both of them glanced over at Sophia with pity and concern at the last part.

She wished she could tell them to stop looking at her like that. She hated how it made her feel, and the memories it threatened to bring to the surface.

Her fear dissipated a little though, when she realized that they were doing all this for her. She was the one that was forcing them to change their names and their whole existence. She was the cause that they would have to look over their shoulders for the rest of their lives.

And she was the one afraid thinking that she should run?

Obviously, they were the ones that needed to run.

They were supposed to want to get as far away from her as they could…