Back and Stronger: Alpha's Daughter

Sophia and Neil had sat on the dock with their feet dangling above the water’s surface. Fish jumped, birds chirped their short, high-pitched twitters and cheeps. Over in the distance, she could have sworn she saw a crane by the marsh. The harmony that she felt in the peaceful surroundings diminished under Neil’s unfeeling gaze. It didn’t disappear completely, just flickered, then dimmed some. Sophia was bothered, very bothered, by the way Neil hadn’t made eye contact with her. Even during the more general parts of their talk, where she told him that Scott had told her where to find him and, ending with the tree hugging, he kept her at an emotional distance. She hoped to elicit a laugh or a grin from him at her silliness, but had gotten nothing. Not even a flicker of a grin.

He remained completely detached on an emotional level. Oh, he was polite. Courteous. She would have even said he had been kind. Listening to her attentively, yet there was not one iota of emotion that crossed his face or showed from depths of his deep, dark eyes. It had been like he wasn’t even fully present. The talking seemed to be more of Sophia trying to fill up the silence with ramblings than it was them talking to each other. That hurt. She hadn’t lied to herself. Even though she knew it was a one-sided crush. Even though she knew he would never be her mate. That hurt. It wasn’t the soul-crushing barrage of devastation that the bubble-brained from school described while wailing in the bathroom. But it stung, and she couldn’t deny it. She also couldn’t deny that she wasn’t equipped to deal with it. Not mentally, not emotionally. Not at all. And since he was still the kindest, most sincere person in her life, she decided she was going to ignore it and push the stings aside.

She wondered if he knew. If he knew that for a long time, she dreamt about him nearly every night. That she would awaken with an ache in her body that differed vastly from the rest of the aches she awakened to. Had he known that she knew the feel of his lips crushing hers, and how his hands felt when they roamed her naked body. Every one of those feelings had been embedded in her mind and had been a safe escape from her tortures. Had Neil known that she wanted to feel all of it again, even if only in a dream? She wondered if Neil had dreamt of her, too. She felt his gaze on her and she blushed.

She allowed silence to take over, no longer willing to force additional conversation. He hadn’t ordered her to leave, so that was a good thing, right? Sophia thought. She bit her lip and stared at the water. The dragonflies buzzed and zipped in their zig zags. Bzzzip, bzzzip, the only sound that broke the awkward silence.

The silence must have gotten to Neil as well, because he shifted uncomfortably on the dock and cleared his throat.

“The water feels great today,” he said.

“Mmm. It looked like you were enjoying it.”

“Crisp, chill. But not cold.”

Sophia didn’t know what to say back to that, so she remained silent. He cleared his throat again.

“You should take a swim. You have a bit of time left yet. The cold will shock your system. Clear the cobwebs from your mind. It helps sore muscles and bruises too.” His gaze wandered to the blue, green and purple marks still showing on the space between her knee and the hem of her skirt, then back up.

“I don’t have a swimsuit.” Sophia literally meant; she didn’t even own one. Her uniform, her two nightgowns, some undergarments and a pair of ratty sweat suits were all that she had that she could still squeeze into.

“Yeah. I guess that’s a problem.”

They sat in silence again, neither moving their gazes from the sparkling water.

He shifted uncomfortably again, and she worried that if he didn’t stop, he would end up with a splinter stuck in the back of his thigh. She chewed on her bottom lip.

“I mean, if you didn’t look, I could probably go in—“ She gestured toward her body.

“Yeah, I suppose it probably covers more than most swimsuits these days.”

She lowered her gaze and mumbled, “I wouldn’t know.”

He jumped up and reached his hand down to her. She took his hand and allowed him to pull her to her feet. Little sparks shot through her hand and up her arm to her elbow. She thought he must have felt it too, because he dropped her hand. Fast. His eyes were still vacant of the sincerity she was used to seeing, though. Maybe she imagined it? She thought.

“I’ll just, uhm.” He shifted his feet on the wooden planks. “I’ll wait over there.” He gestured to the area at the end of the dock.

“Okay.”

Sophia turned and watched him walk to the end of the dock. He kept his back to her, offering her privacy. Her fingers touched the top button of her dingy white shirt. She rubbed her fingertip on the hard circle and felt the silken threads that kept it attached.

He turned to face her and ran his hands down his face. When he had moved his hands to the top, she hoped that when they reached his goatee, there would be something in his eyes. Like he had wiped away whatever was separating them.

Sophia sucked the corner of her bottom lip between her teeth. Her gaze locked on his. What should I do? What should I do?

His distant eyes looked directly into hers. Still nothing. She unbuttoned the top button, letting the shirt pop loose closest to her neck. She ran her fingers along the shirt to the second button and set it free. Her eyes shifted to his toned chest, and her mouth watered at the sun-golden tone of his tanned body. She popped the third button free, then before she could change her mind, the fourth. The shirt loosened and her utilitarian white bra that held her young perky breasts showed as the shirt fell down on her shoulders. His eyes were on her hands now, and though several feet separated them; she knew there was still no emotion in them. She unbuttoned the last few buttons and slid the shirt off her shoulders, letting it drop to the ground from her fingertips.

Was that a flicker in his eyes? A flicker of something? She untied the shoestring holding the too big skirt in place and hooked her thumb in the waistband. She knew if she let it go, it would pool at her feet. Her skin prickled in the breeze, unused to being touched but by the open air. She looked at his muscular thighs below the edge of his Hawaiian print swimming trunks. Her gaze moved up his chest and to his tattooed arms, one at a time. She let her gaze land on the lips she most desperately wanted to feel. Then let the skirt drop to her feet in one motion. He visibly jerked and his eyes flew from her tiny white panties to her gaze. There was still no emotion. Interest, yes, but no genuine emotion. She turned her back to him and bent to fold and stack her clothes next to his, sure that hurt was clear on her face.

“Thump, thump, thump,” she heard, mere seconds before powerful hands grabbed her around the waist and launched them through the air and, with a large splash, into the water. Fish scattered from around their bodies. His hands still on her waist, they surfaced.

Sophia flung her hair back out of her eyes and tread water covered from her neck down. When he saw she could keep herself afloat, he let go of her waist.

“Come on, I’ll race ya to the island dock.” He took off with a clean overhead stroke that cut a path straight through the water.

Sophia’s skills were nowhere near as competent as his, so she knew she wouldn’t win, but what the hell. Why not?

He reached the floating dock in the center of the lake and was on his way back before she even made it three quarters of the way there. When he reached out and grabbed her arm, stopping both of their motion, she jumped in surprise. He dove under the water and grabbed her thighs and yanked, pulling her under. She resurfaced, sputtering water, and laughing at his antics. She cupped her hands along the top of the water and splashed him in the face.

“Hey,” he said, laughing.

The strap of her bra slid off her shoulder and he reached over to pull it back up on her shoulder.

“Look.” He pointed to the marsh. It was a crane I had seen earlier. The long-necked bird with equally long legs was partially hidden in the grasses and reeds. Its beady little eyes stared at them with disdain, like they had scared its fish or ruined its rest. When he brought his hand back from pointing, he rested it on her shoulder, but only for a second, as if to be sure she wouldn’t need help to find what he pointed at.

“He looks pissed,” she said.

He shrugged. “His ecosystem, not ours. Do you want to dive from the dock?”

“I don’t know how to dive.”

“It’s easy, I’ll show you.”

“Okay.” And she swam through the water, trailing behind in the path he left in the water.

He pulled himself up onto the dock, then reached down for her hand and pulled her up next to him.

It was at that moment that they both realized that her thin undergarments were white. Her nipples hardened when the cool air blew across the wet material, and the rosy color had shown through. His eyes turned nearly black as he stared at the pebbles of one breast, then the other. His gaze dropped lower to her panties, then back up.

Sophia blushed under his gaze, but she would not turn away. She still ached to see emotion in those eyes, the sincerity, signs that he cared. But if all she could get was hunger, then she’d take it and hold on to it. She knew her behavior was wanton. It was purely unacceptable since she knew who her mate was. But see, that’s the thing. She knew that first experience would be brutal. Would be violent. And that it would shatter her. So, if all she could get were those moments with Neil, that tiny span in time when she was desired, well, then she’d take it. And hold it close to her heart to carry her through what was yet to come.

He coughed.

“Maybe we should stay in the water. Cannonball!” Then he hit the water with so much force the spray flooded over the entire dock.

Broken from that magical moment of desire, she followed him, not making nearly the splash that he did, but she was still pleased. She allowed her eyes to roam the sky, trying to judge the time. She still had some, she thought. Not much, but some. She dove under the water and swam between his legs and came up behind him, tapped him on the shoulder, then dropped before he had turned fully around. A second later, she grasped him around his legs and yanked. She resurfaced, laughing. When he resurfaced a few seconds after, his hair had fallen loose from his bun.

Holy shit.

Her palms itched to touch his hair. To feel the texture, the thickness. To run her fingers through it and feel it fall in soft waves. Another memory that she could have held onto to see her through. He ran his hands over the top of his head, then popped another hair tie off his wrist and pulled it back up.

The moment was broken when a fish rubbed up against Sophia’s legs and made her squawk and jump away. He laughed again.

“Their home, not ours.”

They swam a bit more. He teased her. She laughed. Funny how even a month ago she hadn’t known what her laugh sounded like. Mere weeks ago, it was a sound that had made her jump when it came from her mouth. But that day, Sophia laughed more than she thought possible. She was getting antsy, often scanning the sky to judge the time. Sophia never wanted this time to end. Yet she also didn’t want to face him at school tomorrow, beaten and bruised because her father caught her. She thought there was still time. Still time to laugh some more, and to store memories of Neil in her heart.