Chapter 16: Mine
Kyle's POV
I couldn't help smiling as I watched her eat the food I prepared. I also couldn't help but admire her either. Her hair was in a ponytail with a few loose strains. Her face was glowing and she looked beautiful, her beauty takes my breath away. I barely around eating anything. I just couldn't stop staring and I didn't want to. Looking at her gave me a sense of peace. She had made me so happy when we were together and I ruined it because I couldn't control myself.
There was an awkward silence in the air since we started to eat. I didn't know what to say to her and it didn't want my words to ruin her day, so it would be better if I keep my mouth shut. Or was it? I did invite her to dinner, I might as well try and talk to her.
"Do you like it?" I asked as she finished chewing on a piece of the beef.
"Yes, thank you. You are a good cook." I smiled at her compliment.
"Nah, you're just saying that to make me feel better about myself." I looked at her keenly because I didn't want to miss any signs of emotion that she might display.
She laughed for the first time since she's been around me today. It made me realize how I missed hearing her laugh. "I'm not. I swear. You're a great cook and I'm glad you asked me to share your dinner." She was smiling at me, something that I haven't seen in a long time. Maybe she'll start to warm up to me again if I make small efforts like these. Maybe she'll start to like me again. Seeing her smile again meant everything to me. It meant that I might have a second chance with her. For her to trust me again.
She was she was happy I invited her, maybe we're one step closer to becoming friends.
I smile, "Me too." I turn my attention back to the food in front of me.
"So when are you going to start fixing up the nursery?"
She turns her head me. "I don't know as yet. I was thinking since I'm no longer working I could start sometime this week. You know, to keep me busy."
"Yes, that's a great idea. I'll take some time off so we can do it together."
"What! No. You don't have to. I can handle everything on my own." she protests.
"Please, Jade. I want to be apart of apart of this baby's life as much as you do. I know you hate me and you can't stand to be around me. Please, do it for the baby."
"I..", before she could speak I interject.
"Every child deserves to have each parent present. Don't let my mistakes damage our child's happiness." I knew that I went a little overboard but that was the only thing I can do right now to make her see that this baby is very important to me.
"Okay. You can help but we still don't know the sex of the baby. I have to wait for a few more weeks then I can get the ultrasound done. But I was thinking instead of wait we could just use a uni-sexual colour, like blue, or purple to design the room." Her facial expression when talking about this was pure happiness. I knew that this baby means as much to her as he does to me. I've now come to realize that all the money I gave her wouldn't matter because she would love the baby nonetheless.
"That's a great idea. I was thinking white furniture. That way it would go great with the whole theme of the condo."
She smiles and takes a sip of her drink. "That's a great idea. I also think we should get toys and a playpen for the baby."
I smile. "Yes, those will come along the way but remember the baby isn't here yet and when he does come he'll be too small for toys but teddy bears and stuffed animals are always good for babies." "Yes, that's true. It's just that I'm so excited about the baby. I never dream that I'd be a mother."
"Why on earth would you think that?" Her statement surprised me.
"Well, I have always been single. I was alone, without any man. I thought I was too ugly to be married." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. She thought she was ugly, unbelievable.
"Are you mad?" My rhetorical question rang in the air until I answered it myself. "You are not ugly. Wow, not even close. You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." her face just couldn't hide the blush that was coming on.
"I'm not beautiful," she said with her head down. "If I was beautiful I'd be married already. If I was beautiful someone wouldn't have to pay me to have their baby."
I sigh. How was the best way to respond to her?
"First and foremost. You are death-drop gorgeous and as I said before, you ARE the most beautiful person I've ever lead eyes on. Second, you choose not to notice anyone. If you took a good look around you, you'd see that men find you very attractive. It's just that sometimes your face intimidates them so they're afraid to ask you. Third, I ask you to have my baby because I didn't want to get married. I saw you and I wanted you, I also wanted a baby. After doing a background check on you, I found out that you were very educated. I also found out about your brother and that just seemed like a great opportunity for us to get together so I took it." It was the best business opportunity I've ever taken because I got to meet her and she meant so much to me now.
She looked at me with a blank face. I guess she didn't know what to say to me. I didn't even know what to say to her either.
"Well I doubt any man would want me now." she broke the silence that was present.
"What! Stop saying that. You're
amazing and any man would be a fool to not see you for who you are Why do you say that though? Why do you think no one will want you?" her statement bothered me a lot. Why would she think no one will find her attractive?
"Because after I have the baby I will look unattractive, maybe fat. I'll have stretch marks, I have started to get some on my thighs already. And no man will want a woman who has a child for someone else."
I looked at her with my brows raised. "That's not true. Many men marry women with kids. Those are the most precious woman to have. Stop it. Don't say those things." I moved my hands to hers that laid on the table.
"You can say those things but I can't."
I had no idea what she was talking about. I didn't know she was talking about our argument. Sigh, I didn't know and I hate being in a situation like this because I had no idea what to say to her.
"You can't always listen to everything I say. I always say things and later regret so don't listen to me.
"
"Why don't you want to get married?"
I look at her and smiled a little. "I
didn't want to get married because I
didn't see the point. All marriage does is cause pain. It's a weakness and I wasn't ready to have a weakness." I put my words in a way for her to pick up hints I was leaving her but looking at her face. I could see that she wasn't picking up since her facial expression didn't change.
"But it's a good type of weakness." I laughed at her words. If only she knew what love could do to people.
"The good type of weakness? No weakness is good. Weakness can break us."
"But isn't it what makes us stronger?
We want to defeat our weakness so
же
it makes us stronger." she was defending her beliefs and I wasn't contradicting her. I have become stronger since I met her. She made me see that I was a selfish bastard and I changed because I wanted to be better for her.
"You're right. Our weaknesses do make us stronger."I smiled. "What are we talking about now? I think we've drifted."
She returned my smile. "Yes, we have a little. So what's your weakness?"
You
I wanted to say that but It would get me in big trouble. I just couldn't afford this lovely dinner turning into hell. This was a good evening and I wanted her to leave happy. I wanted her to like me again.
I used my left hand to scratch my head to signify me thinking. "Well, My weakness is having someone perfect and loving that person and that person doesn't love me back. So yeah, I'm not a complete heartless guy."
She smiled. "How would you get broken If you don't let anyone in"
"That's it!! If I don't give my heart to someone then there is no way it can be broken."
"But you won't get a chance at love"
"It's just a risk I have to take."
She sighs.
"Enough of me. What's your weakness?"
"I don't really know. I guess it's similar to yours. I don't wanna get hurt but I always do." She bent her head. I didn't want to hurt her. I guess I'm on her, list.
But I WILL get off that list.
I don't want her to see me as the guy that hurt her I want her to see me as the guy that loved her. But before I can do all that, I will make her fall in love with me, one way or another.
She will be mine.