Awake At Dawn (Wildflower Series Book 2)

I COULDN’T SLEEP.

I wasn’t exactly surprised. Not after the night I had.

Winning the game. Seeing my whole family in the stands. Seeing Gemma with my family in the stands. Gemma walking out of her room in that dress. Blake saying how she’d stuck up for me when they’d been assholes. The kiss.

God, that kiss.

The second my control snapped and my lips brushed hers, I’d been a goner. I hadn’t been able to think about anything other than tasting more of her, feeling more of her, seeing more of her.

Gemma Briggs had consumed me.

But as pissed as I was at Sully when he interrupted us, I was also grateful. Because if he hadn’t knocked on the door, there was no telling how I would have managed to stop with Gemma. I was seconds from stripping her down while she was pressed against a bar bathroom door. Fuck, what was I thinking?

I was thinking how badly I wanted her, that was what. I was thinking—and realizing—just how badly she seemed to want me, too.

There was absolutely no way. No way I’d be able to keep my hands off her now. How could I? I tried. I’d done my best, but now that I knew what Gemma sounded like when she was gasping my name? I didn’t stand a chance at resisting her. And hell, I didn’t want to.

But she was Julian’s sister. His pregnant sister. Who had a lot on her plate at the moment and didn’t need me to add more. She didn’t need to add complications like me. I needed a goddamn second to stop and think about what was happening. The guilt caused by all this secrecy was starting to eat at me. The guilt of wanting her and knowing I wasn’t what—or who—was best for her was killing me.

When the sun began to rise and bleak light filtered into the basement living room, I gave up on sleep, threw on a sweatshirt and a beanie, and snuck outside. The air was crisp, exactly what I needed to clear my head.

A layer of mist hovered low over the lake as pinkish light reflected on the water. I walked across the manicured lawn to the dock and headed to the end of it, sitting on the wooden planks between my mom’s potted lilies, speckled in fall colors. Another reminder of Gemma and her gorgeous hair and the way it felt wrapped around my fingers.

The early morning loon calls echoed across the lake, and I listened in peace for a few minutes until the dock rattled beneath me, and I looked back to see Gemma walking down it. She wore a matching sweat set, her arms wrapped around her to keep her warm. And to my dismay, she looked tired. Like she’d gotten just as much sleep as I had.

Which was none.

“Sorry I woke you,” I said, hoping she had gotten at least a little shut-eye.

“It’s not your fault.” She sat beside me on the dock, tucking her legs to sit crisscross. “I was having a hard time sleeping anyway.”

Damn.

“You weren’t feeling sick, were you?”

“A bit,” she said, her voice soft.

I glanced over, scanning her expression. It was hard to read, but something about her demeanor told me she was lying. I just wasn’t sure what she was lying about—that she was more than a bit sick or if she’d struggled to sleep for entirely different reasons. Or reason.

“How do you feel now?” I asked.

“I’m fine,” she promised. “I’ll be fine, Noah.”

That confirmed it for me. She wasn’t talking about pregnancy sickness. She was talking about what happened last night. She was talking about us.

Well, she might be fine. But I wasn’t.

Our kiss last night would haunt me until I could do it again. Even now, my gaze lingered on how she kept biting her bottom lip. I knew she wasn’t trying to do it to fuck with me, but God, it sent heat hurtling through my body. I wanted to take those soft lips between my teeth and tug until she gasped into my mouth again.

Shit.

I forced myself to look away, focusing on the water instead. I tried to think about anything that wasn’t how badly I wanted the woman sitting next to me, letting my brain wander as my eyes traced the shoreline.

Gemma and I sat in peaceful silence, letting the loons do the talking for us. I caught sight of a pair gliding across the glassy surface. There was something comforting about them. They were always here, protecting their little part of this enormous lake. I didn’t know much about wildlife, but I knew loons were territorial, and those loons swimming past us were probably the same ones I always saw when I came home.

Sometimes I really missed being home. And I knew my family probably resented me for not being here more. For flaking out to live my big-shot life.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a light flick on in the house. Probably my mom waking up to make coffee. She’d always been an early riser, but I think she loved it even more now that she could sit and look out of her floor-to-ceiling windows and watch the sunrise over the lake.

Gemma must have noticed the light, too, because she swiveled and looked back at the house. Her gaze roamed over it appreciatively, and my gaze roamed over her.

So fucking pretty.

And I was so fucking screwed.

“It really is a beautiful house,” she murmured.

“It is,” I agreed. “We didn’t have much money growing up, so it sometimes still feels weird to me. That my family lives here.”

“My family didn’t have a lot of money, either,” she shared, turning back toward the lake. I did the same. “It’s why Julian had to help my dad at his mechanic shop so much. He couldn’t afford to hire more personnel but needed more hands to get through everything.”

I nodded. “Julian would do anything for your family.”

I felt Gemma’s gaze land on the side of my face. “And you would do anything for yours, Noah.”

I sighed, trying not to let her words affect me. I kept my eyes on the water, studying the ripples the loons created every time they dove.

“When I was younger, sometimes we’d rent a pontoon and come out onto the lake for a day,” I said, letting my thoughts flow out of me. “We’d go by all these big houses, all the rich-ass people in their big boats, and I just kept thinking how unbelievable it would be to live here. So when I could afford it, I bought my parents this house because I wanted them to get to live that life we’d always see from the sidelines. I wanted them to have it, even if I wouldn’t be here to share it with them.”

Some people tried to run away from their families after graduating high school, but while that was exactly what I’d done, it had never been my intent.

“How did you end up in Boston?” Gemma asked gently.

“The draft,” I said with a shrug. “I was kinda bummed that I didn’t get drafted to play at home, but New England was still exciting. For one, I’d always respected the organization. For another, Nat already lived in Boston, so at least I’d have a piece of my family nearby.”

“I bet Natalie was relieved to have you close.”

I shrugged again. “Probably, but she was so wrapped up in her residency that I didn’t see her much. That, and her ex cut off a lot of communication between her and any family members.”

“I really hate that guy,” Gemma scoffed.

“Me too.”

It was an understatement. I fucking despised that man. Almost as much as I despised Silas Taylor.

“Speaking of assholes…” I ventured. “Has Silas reached out again?”

The question had been on my mind for a while, ever since he called when we were in the kitchen that day.

Gemma shook her head, and I was inclined to believe her this time. “No, thank goodness.”

“Good.”

A shiver worked through Gemma, and she drew her arms tighter around her. I wanted to tuck her into my arms, but she’d purposely put distance between us when she sat down. So I settled with taking off my beanie and shoving the hat over her head instead. Her hair fanned out from beneath it, matching the coppery-colored flowers behind her.

“Wear that,” I muttered before running a hand through my messy morning hair.

“Thanks,” she said with a soft smile, adjusting the hat on her head. “But I should probably head inside and get ready. Our flight is in a few hours.”

I nodded, hating the regret that bloomed at the thought of her leaving. Even though we’d be together again by evening. Back in Boston.

“I have to go meet up with the team, but I arranged for a car to bring you and Chloe to the airport,” I said.

“You didn’t have to do that, Noah,” she protested as she stood. “We could have just⁠—”

“It was the least I could do. I would have taken you myself if my schedule would have allowed it.” I looked up, letting my eyes connect with hers for the first time all morning. A rush of something overwhelmed me, and my next words got momentarily trapped in my throat before I managed to swallow.

“I’m sorry if you didn’t get much sleep last night.”

To my surprise, Gemma smiled. Her eyes flicked to the lake, then the sky, and finally back to me.

“I actually feel…pretty awake.” Her grin grew in its warmth as she looked at me. “Thanks for letting me come. I’m really glad I got to be here.”

She turned and walked away before I got a chance to respond. Or stand up and kiss her, which was really what I’d wanted to do.

It was probably for the best that she disappeared back inside.

And it was probably for the best that she snuck out of the house with Chloe before I even got a chance to follow her. The time slipped away from me as I sat on the dock and watched the rest of the sunrise, and I hated that I missed the chance to say goodbye before they left for the airport. Even if it was for the best.

I settled for a text instead.

Safe travels, Em. A car will be waiting at the airport to take you home, too.

SHE’S JULIAN’S SISTER, NOAH: What time will you land?

Just an hour or so after you, I think.

SHE’S JULIAN’S SISTER, NOAH: Would it be too much of a hassle for you to pick us up instead? I don’t mind waiting a little bit.

I stared at my phone, shocked that Gemma was willing to ask me for any kind of favor. But once the surprise dissipated, I smiled.

Not a hassle at all. I’ll be there.

I had a feeling I’d give Gemma anything she asked for. And damn, wasn’t that terrifying.

Nearly as terrifying as the look my mom gave me as I walked upstairs with my bag slung over my shoulder.

“Why are you hiding outside on my last morning with you?” she scolded.

“Sorry, Mom.” I strode to where she stood alone in the kitchen, wrapping my arms around her. “I lost track of time.”

She hugged me back. “I would have come down and joined you, but I didn’t want to disrupt your time with Gemma. And then I didn’t want to miss saying goodbye to her and Chloe.”

My mom peered up at me, flashing a reprimanding look. Because I did miss saying goodbye to them.

“I’ll see them tonight,” I said, even though my stomach tightened with the justification.

Sighing, my mom released me and wandered to the cabinet, pulling out a mug and setting it in front of me. “I hope their flight goes well. That poor girl.”

I watched with a frown as Mom poured me a cup of coffee. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, I just feel for Gemma. She’s so sweet, bringing Chloe here even though she feels that way about flying.”

My stomach dropped. “Feels what way about flying?”

Mom leaned back against the counter, crossing her arms reprovingly as she looked at me. “Chloe said that sweet girl was terrified on the flight here. Shaking the whole time. And you didn’t so much as give her a hug before she left. Just let her walk away like that.”

I was too busy comprehending my mom’s words to care that she’d clearly been spying on Gemma and me.

“You better hug her when you get home, Noah London,” my mom continued, poking me in the chest before moving around me to start putting away clean dishes. “I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you, but it’s clear she cares about you, and I hope you’re⁠—”

“Chloe said she was terrified?” I interrupted.

I didn’t have time to go into depth about my and Gemma’s relationship with my mom. I needed to know what the hell she was talking about regarding the plane.

Gemma never mentioned that she hated flying. Why would she have volunteered to come to Minnesota with Chloe if she was terrified of planes?

“Oh, yes,” my mom replied, nodding absently as she busied herself with the dishes. “Chloe told me all about their flight here when we were at the game. She was worried about Gemma. It’s clear that they⁠—”

“Mom, I’m sorry, but I have to go.”

I hated leaving in a rush like this, but I hated the image my mom was painting in my head even more—the one of Gemma being terrified on a plane, alone with my niece. I didn’t know how to explain it, but I had to go. I had to go now.

Mom paused, holding a bowl midair as she looked up at me. I was worried she’d be mad, but then a slow smile spread over her face as I hiked my bag further up on my shoulder.

“That’s my boy,” she said as I went in for another quick hug.

If I left right now, there was a chance I could make it to the airport in time. I’d helped Natalie rearrange the details for Gemma to take her ticket, so I had their flight number written down somewhere. I’d find it.

I’d find them.

And then I’d remind Gemma that I told her not to hide this kind of shit from me.

I’d find her.

And then I’d fucking hold her like I’d wanted to do on the dock this morning.