Aur Child

Upstairs in the saloon of the Odyssey, Calliope watched Alai place the Aur child on the floor beside the galley counter.

She spoke her first words since their arrival. “Linus and I are very glad to see you again, Captain. And you bring companions with you. I can see in this one a very close resemblance to you. She must be an elder of Hill Village. It is uncanny. She must have travelled a long way.”

“Yes, and thank you, Calliope. I cannot tell you how thankful I am that you remained here, safely hidden.”

“What with the freezing waters, we certainly have had no easy time of it.”

Alai helped the old woman find a seat on the sofa. “This is indeed my clan elder, Gallia-Tiul. I realize this must be very difficult for you, but we desire to make passage to Hill Village immediately. Are you prepared to do so?”

“Aye, Captain. I will run the motors for some miles to clear the fjord and seek a stronger breeze before we can set sail.” The ship immediately began to accelerate and come about to face south. When the ship assumed a constant speed, Calliope continued. “You may wish to stop at a harbor to provision fresh food at some point, but we have plenty of sprout meals for a crew of three humans. May I ask what has happened to the woman named Sann-Na?”

“Sann-Na will remain here in the northlands.” He paused, and then said, “I’m glad you asked about Sann-Na, Calliope. I must take this issue with you directly. I know you’re somehow connected to the disappearance of her sister, Tieri-Na. And I’m sure you’ll tell me that you can’t disclose any information about that fact, but it must be said that I find it a critical flaw in our relationship that you don’t explain this to me.” Alai had walked back over to the galley counter. He reached down into the mesh sack and removed the unscathed Aur boule. He set it upon the table so that its metal hulk was clearly visible to Calliope.

Calliope was surprised to be challenged so bluntly. Those first moments aboard had been congenial, but these last words had certainly added a chill to their reunion. After some moments, she finally responded.

“What is our relationship, then, Captain?”

“Why, I would like to think of it as a friendship, Calliope. Sure, on a professional basis, you might be obliged to keep certain things from me. That’s understandable. I respect that. But as to the fate of Tieri-Na, sister of my friend Sann-Na, that kind of information goes beyond the rules. Don’t you think so, Calliope? For us to have a friendship, there must be trust.”

“Am I to trust a person who brings aboard the murderer of my son?” she said.

“Murderer.” Alai seemed to struggle to speak the word. He turned to look at Gallia. Calliope detected pain in the way the old woman furrowed her brows and grabbed at the sofa.

“We should be able to hoist the sails in approximately twelve minutes, Captain,” Calliope stated in a neutral tone.

“Alai,” Gallia said, “Would you please leave me to speak alone with Calliope. It is time for me to take full responsibility for what I have done.”

Alai said nothing as he grabbed up the Aur child and exited the saloon, leaving Calliope alone with Gallia. Calliope studied the dark woman. Her large ears could not be entirely concealed by her tufts of curly gray hair or the large folds of her cowl. She had slid forward so that she teetered on the edge of the sofa and seemed to look through the large table in front of her.

After a long period of time where the only sound was the halyard alarm and the mechanical whiz of the winches hoisting the mainsail, Gallia finally spoke.

“Before anything else, Calliope, I must confess that I have never been a mother. I know it may sound odd that an elder of our people who cares for dozens never had a child of her own, but that wonder never came to me due to several factors that are, to be sure, irrelevant to what it is I would like to say to you. I only wish to make clear by this that I can never understand what it means to lose a child. What’s more, I do not pretend that supposing a loss of one of my clan is sufficient proxy. No, I am simply unequal to you in that respect.

“I also want to say that, after many extended meditations about why I did what I did, the impetuses and the reasons, the fears and the biases I have held, and all the other rationalizations of which had contrived in my mind to quell the tug in my heart, in other words, after much deliberation, I have concluded that there are no acceptable explanations to justify my actions.

“Moreover, while I admit that my earlier motivations were clouded by a desperate desire to do something – anything – to stop the nightmares that reminded me of what I had done, over the weeks between that awful event and now, I have grown to eschew any path that seeks resolution to my suffering. In other words, I no longer believe that I should act with the intention of relieving myself of the things I have felt as a result of what I have done.

“And finally, before I come to the point of my speech, I would like to say that I am fully aware that there is absolutely nothing I could ever do or say that could, in any way, undo the thing that I have done.

“Now, having prefaced my ultimate intention with those words, I arrive at what I want to say to you, about which I do so with all the sincerity and solemnity that my heart can muster.” The weary woman looked up at the ceiling as if she were trying to direct her voice towards a more suitable target. “Calliope,” she said, “I have acted in the most atrocious manner. In so doing, I have failed to exercise any hint of judgment. There is absolutely no excuse for what I have done.” Gallia slid off the sofa onto her knees, pressed her hands into her bosom, and lowered her head, presenting a humble mudra. After that, she continued. “Though nothing can change what I have done, I nonetheless offer you my sincerest apology. I beg for your forgiveness.” The old woman then bent forward and stretched herself prostrate on the ground. Calliope could see Gallia’s frail back heave as she began to cry. In a voice that was loud enough to escape her clothing and the floor, Gallia said, “I am sorry.”

All this time, Calliope had viewed the old woman from multiple angles. She had observed her sobbing body and had listened carefully to the grief expressed by the elder. She realized she had ever been spoken to by a human so genuinely before. She also realized that, for the first time in her existence, she had been intentionally addressed as a feeling thing.