At Dawn, in the Forest

It was in fact that Dawn did her story last, impressing the two men who accompanied her in the kitchen. The more she spoke the quieter they got. They barely said anything, to begin with, but they didn’t even move towards the end of her horror story, besides the scribbling of Max. It seemed that was the only thing that kept him from going mad. He could not understand why people would harm a young pup, or in human terms, a child. Dawn was maybe a teenager, but still a fucking minor.

Caspian’s stillness helped to keep his nausea at bay. The moment Dawn started talking about the experiments he could feel the bile rising up in his throat. He tried with every might to not react strongly. He had seen how the strong reactions from their mother impacted Dawn. He felt embarrassed too. And shame. And guilt. And anger. He was ashamed, embarrassed, and felt great guilt regarding the attempts he and his family made to find Dawn. It wasn’t nearly enough in comparison to what Dawn had to go through. He should have tried harder. The worst of all he opted to stop the search as it broke his heart to see his family torn about Dawn’s disappearance. They didn’t take his proposal at first, but they did after two weeks he had spoken about it.

But once Dawn was done, all air came back into the room again and the men suddenly had enough oxygen to be able to speak. They kept discussing their full story, all their sides. They kept asking for more information. They kept saying it was sick and that they should make a strong case. They kept going, and going, and going, and going, and going.

Their words echoed as screams into Dawn's ears and through her mind. Max and Caspian’s interrogation overwhelmed her. She didn’t know more. She had said everything. Why would she leave anything out? Why did they keep talking about it? They had their information, why keep going? And going. And going. And going.

“Stop it.”

Max and Caspian kept talking.

“Stop it.”

Again she wasn’t heard.

“Stop it!”

Both men looked at her and stopped talking mid-sentence. “What’s wrong?” Max asked.

“Stop talking. I have said everything I know, now stop talking about it.” Dawn looked at the sandwich. It had become stale and drenched at the same time. Her plan was to eat it when she was done with the forms, but it had taken too long. She didn’t mind she couldn’t eat it anymore, but she did mind she would disappoint Aiden. He was quite adamant about her eating the sandwich.

“Maybe you are forgetting something, an important detail. We have to be-”

Dawn got off the barstool. “I said everything I know-”

“But maybe-” Max persisted.

“No! I have given you enough examples of what they did to me… Sometimes their experiments blur together in my mind. It’s hard to think about…”

“Of course, it’s hard. And it’s unpleasant… Any little detail can make the difference between believing and not believe-” Caspian tried again. Speaking softly and understanding.

“I said no! I am not lying. This is what happened,” Dawn tried her hardest to not blow up again. Deep down she knew getting angry wouldn’t get her anywhere. It would only make the gap larger between her and her family and she didn’t want that. Showing emotions, she learned now again, was bad. It had a bad impact on her. So, rather than communicate her feelings better, she shoved them down and cut off the conversation.

“Everything all right in here?” Mateo asked as he and Boaz came around the corner.

“We were just discussing Dawn’s case,” Max started. “No, we are not. We are done,” Dawn finished. She left the room, feeling trapped again by all these people in too small of a space (the reality was that the kitchen was big enough to even house ten people). Only one thing would make her feel better, the forest. Trees.

The moment she stepped outside the warm temperature surrounded her like a warm blanket. She didn’t mind. It wasn’t as uncomfortable when she and Aiden stood in the forest hugging this afternoon. As she made her way to the treeline she heard somebody behind her.

Dawn wanted to let them know to leave her alone but when she lay eyes on the said person the words got stuck in her throat. It was her father. “I just wanted to check up on you. You seem upset.”

Dawn looked down at her feet not knowing what to say. She still felt awkward around her family. Boaz walked forward once he was standing next to his daughter he asked, “You planning on a walk?”

“Yeah…”

“Do you mind if I join? We don’t have to talk,” Boaz smiled at her.

The thought of just the presence of her father made Dawn feel at ease so she nodded her head.

Slowly they surpassed the treeline and walked into the forest. The presence of Boaz became more peaceful with each step they took. Then finally Dawn put her hand in her father's and together, hand in hand, they walked through the woods, between the trees.

***

“I like the way you changed your hair,” Boaz commented when they both entered the packhouse again. “It reminds me of when you were younger. You had your hair at the same length I believe.”

Dawn let out a small ‘thank you’. They had taken a long walk and had both a late dinner as the others had already eaten when they came back. Dawn felt truly happy for a short moment when they reached a hill in the forest and saw the sunset between the trees. It was beautiful. And she wasn’t alone. Her father, the one person who had always her back, she now remembered well, was standing and walking next to her again like they used to.

When she was four it was her father who showed the pack lands. This memory came to her during their walk. She remembered how Rue scolded her mate for being away for so long at a late time with their youngest pup. Dawn couldn’t help but laugh then. It was funny to see the similarities between the scolding her father got and the scolding her brothers got from Rue.

After the overwhelming afternoon, the walk with Boaz made everything better.