Ashes to Ashes

I WRAP THE L AST SECTION OF MY HAIR AROUND the barrel of the curling iron as quickly as I can without burning the shit out of my arm, which I’ve done twice already. I flip my head over and shake out the curls and then give my whole head a spritz of hair spray. My hair is still damp from my shower, and the curl isn’t holding great. It’s looking more beach waves than vamp curls, but whatever. It’ll have to do. I’m in my black strapless bra and underwear, no makeup on, and I’m supposed to be at Reeve’s house in five minutes to take pictures. I suck at time management.

I race around my room shoving shit into Mrs. Cho’s beaded clutch. Nadia’s lipstick, a couple of Band-Aids. I’ve got one smudge stick left from what I made to burn in Reeve’s room, and I stick that in there too, just in case.

I hurry downstairs. The house is empty. I have no idea where Pat and my dad are. Maybe working on one of Dad’s canoes. Business has picked up again now that the tourists are back. He already has enough orders to last him through summer. Dad’s been training Pat for the last few weeks, which is good. Pat needs a long-term plan. He can’t ride bikes and fuck around in Dad’s garage forever.

I slip on Mrs. Cho’s stilettos. They are so freaking hot, I almost wish this dress was short, so I could really show them off. Then I head out the front door. On the landing I quick light a cigarette and take a few puffs. I know Lillia told me not to smoke in her dress, but I need something to calm me down. I’m nervous, about tonight going well, and of course about Mary. I’ll get the thing dry-cleaned. She’ll never notice.

Dad and Pat are standing in the driveway. Pat wolf-whistles, and Dad blinks like I might disappear. He says, “You look beautiful, Katherine.”

“I’d better. This dress cost more than our mortgage.”

Dad hurries to meet me at the stairs. “Come here, daughter,” he says quietly. He takes away my cigarette, and even though it’s only half smoked, he tosses it into the grass. Then he tucks me under his arm. “My beautiful girl,” he says, and then closes up my hand inside his.

That’s when I notice Dad’s in a nice button-up shirt, a pair of slacks, and his motorcycle boots. He shaved his beard. He looks younger.

“What are you dressed up for?”

“I want to take a prom picture with you.”

Dad motions to Pat to come over. He’s got Dad’s camera around his neck, an old one that takes real film. He and my mom bought it the year Pat was born.

Pat hands Dad a plastic container, which Dad opens for me. Inside is a white rose corsage. “Dad!”

“I know you said that you and Reeve are going as friends, so I wanted to make sure someone bought you flowers.” He slides it onto my wrist.

It’s a good thing I don’t have any makeup on yet, because my bottom lip begins to shake, and my eyes fill up. I kiss his face. He smells like aftershave. It’s cheap shit he gets from the drugstore, but I love the smell.

The three of us walk over to Reeve’s house. While Reeve’s posing for a picture with his mom and dad, I take out Nadia’s maroon lipstick, bend down to Reeve’s truck’s side mirror, and quick apply a coat.

Tommy comes outside and throws his arms around Pat, and they pound each other’s backs like they’re old war buddies. Tommy gives me a quick once-over, and I act like I don’t notice, but I pop my chest out a little.

When my dad and Pat go to say hi to Reeve’s parents, I’m about to follow, but Tommy grabs my wrist. “You look good. When you coming to my place for a sleepover?”

“Shut up, you tool! My dad’s right there!”

I ended up hooking up with Tommy one night while I was sleeping over at Reeve’s. He fell asleep in the recliner and . . . I don’t know. I might have climbed on top of him. I was in mourning or something. And he is hot.

Reeve comes across the lawn and puts his arm around my waist. “Leave her alone, Tommy.” Tommy trots back to the house, and at the last second he turns around and waves at me. “Not bad, DeBrassio,” Reeve says. “Where’d you get that dress from?”

“I borrowed it from Lil brand-new,” I brag. “Had the tags on it and everything.” He gets a funny look on his face, like something’s dawning on him. I elbow him. “What?”

He shakes his head. “Nothing.”

“You look good too.” Reeve’s body was meant for a tux. Even though it’s a rental, it fits him perfectly. He has his hair wet and combed back, and with his strong jaw and bright smile—which was missing for so long that I forgot what it looked like—he looks like a leading man from some black-and-white movie.

He grins and puts his thumbs in his suspenders. “I feel good. I feel like myself again.”

We pose for pictures on his front lawn. I make sure to get some nice ones of me, Dad, and Pat. I’ll put one in a frame and take it with me to wherever I end up going to college, now that Oberlin’s out. No matter where I go, I’ll carry my dad and brother with me forever.