Ascension

January 1, 1985

To say that I was just happy, would dishonour the feelings I have coursing through my veins and resonating in my heart. I used to tell myself that it was an impossibility, but here I am relishing, revelling , reeling in the feeling of love. Yes I said it. I am in love. Yet having attained what I’ve thought to be impossible, I face the fact that I may again be without it.

For the last few months I’ve thought of every way possible to tell him the truth about myself and my baby. But with all the words in the English language, I still couldn’t find the right ones to put in the right sentences.

Last night as the new year was on the horizon he said that he had something to ask, but first he had to tell me something about himself. I became nervous as I was afraid of what the truth may hold for us. He revealed to me that he was a Lune and for the first time in four months, he showed me his real self. I wasn’t at all disappointed with who I saw. As his face finally matched his beautiful heart. He then tried to explain what he meant by that but I put my finger on his lips to quiet him down. I told him that already knew what it meant since I was one too. I asked him to finish the question he was about to ask me.

He then drew out the most beautiful ring I’d ever seen and bending on one knee, he asked me to marry him. I cried as he vowed to love me forever and his promises to take care of my child, treating it as his own.

I knew that I was being selfish, one of my least desirable qualities. He did deserve to know the truth, but through selfish-guilty-happy sobs the only thing I did say was yes. I ’d never dreamed that I would ever have a family of my own. I’ve seen how lies have the potential to destroy any relationship, but it was a chance I ’d have to take. I cannot lose him. It just wasn’t an option.

R

January 31, 1985

I was a classic Delilah. Dishonesty and dishonour had become my daily bread. It was hard for me to recognise myself anymore. There were two swords hanging over my head threatening the life I’d known and the one I’ve now created.

Sword # 1

I was excommunicated from the Lune community as I’d killed the man that had raped me.

For the first time in two hundred years, I am ashamed of telling a lie. All the years of training couldn’t have prepared me for that particular moment. My heart was crushed as I watched the pity wash over his face as I deceived him in the worst way. I cried as he comforted me and told me that he was sorry for what happened to me and that it was never going to happen again.

Sword # 2

Seidon was the one I was assigned to kill.

He was the a direct descendant of Mond, hence making him the rightful Grand Lune. This was the reason Ay wanted him dead as he was seen as a threat to his throne. This of course was no longer an option.

I want so badly to be able to tell Seidon the truth as I knew my future was with him now, but that like my first sword, this is not an option.

Everybody had little secrets. So why should I be the exception?

R