As Good as Dead: The Finale to A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder

‘Why hello, quelle surprise. What are you doing here, muchacha?’

The smile dropped out of Cara’s face a moment later, as she opened the door fully, the light from the hallway lighting up Pip’s eyes. She could tell. Pip knew she would be able to tell. Not just a friend, more like a sister. Something was off in Pip’s eyes, behind them, this long, horrific day imprinted in them somehow, and of course Cara knew. But she could never know. Not all of it. Just like the others. Ignorance kept them safe from her.

‘What’s wrong?’ Cara said, her voice dropping an octave. ‘What’s happened?’

Pip’s lower lip trembled, but she held it in.

‘I-I, um…’ she started shakily. Torn between needing Cara and needing to keep her safe, safe from her. Between her old, normal life – standing right in front of her, blinking – and whatever was left to her now. ‘I need your help. You don’t have to say yes, you can tell me to go away, but –’

‘Of course,’ Cara cut her off, reaching for her shoulder and guiding her through the door. ‘Come in.’ They paused in the hallway, the look in Cara’s eyes as serious as Pip had ever seen them. ‘What’s happened?’ she asked. ‘Is Ravi OK?’

Pip shook her head, sniffed. ‘Yeah, no, Ravi’s fine. It has nothing to do with him.’

‘Your family?’

‘No, it’s… they’re all OK,’ Pip said. ‘I just, I need to ask you to help me with something, but you can never know why. You can never ask me and I can never tell you.’

The background sounds of a TV cut out, shuffling footsteps drawing their way. Oh fuck, Steph wasn’t here, was she? Nonono. No one else could know about this, just those people, the ones who would have looked for Pip when she disappeared.

It wasn’t Steph. Naomi appeared in the hallway, a hand raised in a small wave.

Pip didn’t think she’d be here, she hadn’t planned on Naomi being here. But it was OK, now she thought about it; Naomi was one of them, intertwined in this same full circle. If Cara was a sister, then Naomi was too. And Pip couldn’t not involve her now; the plan shifted and adapted to take in one more person.

Cara hadn’t seen her sister.

‘What the fuck are you talking about, Pip?’ she said urgently.

‘I just said, I can’t tell you. I can never tell you.’

They were interrupted, not by Naomi, but by a high-pitched, 8-bit ringtone, coming from Pip’s front pocket.

Her eyes widened, and so did Cara’s.

‘Sorry, I have to take this,’ Pip said, reaching for the burner phone to accept the call. She turned her back on Cara and lifted the small phone to her ear.

‘Hey,’ she said.

‘Hey, it’s me,’ said Connor’s voice down the other end.

‘Everything OK?’ Pip asked him, and she could hear Naomi behind her, asking Cara what the fuck was going on.

‘Yes. All good,’ Connor said, slightly breathless. ‘Jamie’s driving us to Wycombe now. The phone is in place, behind that first rock. We didn’t go in the gate, didn’t even look. All good.’

‘Thank you,’ Pip said, her chest releasing slightly. ‘Thank you, Co—’ She almost said his name, stopping herself before it was too late with a glance up at Cara and Naomi. They shouldn’t know who else was involved, that kept them safer. All of them. ‘This is the last time we talk about this. It never happened, understand? Never mention it: not on the phone, not in texts, not even to each other. Never.’

‘I know, bu—’

Pip spoke over him.

‘I’m going to hang up now. And I want you to destroy that phone. Snap it in half, and the SIM card too. Then dump it in a public bin.’

‘Yeah, yeah, OK, we will,’ Connor said, and then to his brother: ‘Jamie, she’s telling us to break the phone, throw it in a public bin.’

She heard Jamie’s distant voice over the sound of moving wheels. ‘Consider it done.’

‘I have to go now,’ Pip said. ‘Bye.’ Bye. Such a normal word for such an un-normal conversation.

Pip cut off the call and lowered the phone, turning slowly to look at Cara and Naomi, gathered together behind her, an identical look of confusion and fear in their eyes.

‘What the fuck?’ Cara said. ‘What’s going on? Who were you talking to? What phone is that?’

Pip sighed. There was a time she’d told Cara everything, every mundane detail of her day, and now she could tell her nothing. Nothing except her part. A wedge between them that had never been there before: solid, unspeakable.

‘I can’t tell you that,’ Pip said.

‘Pip, are you OK?’ Naomi stepped in now. ‘You’re scaring us.’

‘Sorry, I –’ Pip’s voice croaked away from her. She couldn’t do this. She wanted to explain, but the plan wouldn’t let her. She had to make another call. Right now. ‘I’ll explain in a minute, as much as I can, but first I need to call someone else. Can I use your house phone?’

Cara blinked at her, Naomi’s eyebrows drawing down to eclipse her eyes.

‘I’m confused,’ Cara said.

‘It’ll be two minutes, then I’ll explain. Can I use the phone?’

They nodded, slow and unsure.

Pip hurried past them to the kitchen, hearing their steps as they followed her in there. She dropped her rucksack into one of the dining chairs and unzipped the front pocket, pulling out Christopher Epps’ business card. She grabbed the Wards’ landline handset and typed in his mobile number, memorizing three digits at a time.

Cara and Naomi were watching her as she raised the phone, ringing in her ears.

A crackling sound down the line, someone clearing their throat.

‘Hello?’ Epps said, an uncertainty in his tone, the uncertainty of an unknown number at night.

‘Hi, Christopher Epps,’ Pip said, ironing out the rasp in her voice. ‘It’s me, Pip Fitz-Amobi.’

‘Oh.’ He sounded surprised. ‘Oh,’ he said it again, reclaiming control, another clearing of his throat. ‘Right.’

‘Sorry,’ Pip said, ‘I know it’s a Saturday evening, and it’s getting late. But when you gave me your card, you said to call any time.’

‘Yes, I did say that, didn’t I?’ Epps said. ‘So, what can I do for you, Miss Fitz-Amobi?’

‘Well.’ Pip coughed lightly. ‘I did what you said to me after the mediation meeting. Went away and thought about it for a couple of weeks, when things weren’t so emotional.’

‘Right? And have you come to any conclusions?’

‘Yes,’ Pip said, hating what she was about to say, imagining the triumphant look on Epps’ arrogant face. But he had no idea what the real reason for this call was. ‘So, I’ve thought about it, a lot, and I think you’re right that it’s in everyone’s best interest to avoid a court case. So, I think I’m going to take the deal you offered. The five thousand pounds damages.’

‘That’s very good to hear, Miss Fitz-Amobi. But it wasn’t just the five thousand, remember?’ Epps said, over-enunciating his words like he was talking to a small child. ‘The most important part of the deal was the public apology and a statement issued, recanting the libellous claims, and explaining that the voice recording you posted was fabricated. My client won’t accept any deal without those.’

‘Yes,’ Pip said, gritting her teeth. ‘I remember, thank you. I’ll do all of that. The money, the public apology, recant the statement and the voice recording. I’ll do it all. I just want this to be over now.’

She heard a satisfied sniff down the line. ‘Well, I have to say, I think you’re making the correct decision here. This works out the best for everyone involved. Thank you for being so mature about it.’

Pip’s grip tightened around the phone, cutting into her hand, red flashing behind her eyes until she blinked it away. ‘No, sure, and thank you for talking some sense into me,’ she said, recoiling at her own voice. ‘So, I guess you can now tell Max that I accept the deal.’

‘Yes, I will,’ Epps said. ‘He will be very pleased to hear it. And on Monday, I shall give your solicitor a call and get everything rolling. Sound good?’

‘Sounds good,’ Pip said; a meaningless word, just as empty as fine.

‘All right, well, you have a good evening now, Miss Fitz-Amobi.’

‘You too.’

The line cut out. She imagined Epps, beyond the beeps of the dead tone, miles away, now scrolling through his phone to find another number. Because he wasn’t just the family lawyer; he was a family friend. And he was going to do exactly what Pip wanted him to.

‘Have you lost your mind?’ Cara stared at her, eyes stretched too wide. The face had grown around them, but they were the same eyes of the nervous six-year-old she’d been when they first met. ‘Why the fuck did you just accept that deal? What the hell is going on?’

‘I know, I know,’ Pip said, hands up either side of her in surrender. ‘I know none of this makes any sense. Something happened, and I’m in trouble, but there’s a way out of it. All I can tell you is what I need you to do. For your own safety.’

‘What happened?’ Cara said, desperation bending her voice.

‘She can’t tell us,’ Naomi said, turning to her sister, her eyes reshaping with understanding. ‘She can’t tell us because she wants us to have plausible deniability.’

Cara turned back to Pip. ‘S-something bad?’ she asked.

Pip nodded.

‘But it’s going to be OK, I can make it OK, I can fix it. I just need your help with this part. Will you help me?’

A clicking sound in Cara’s throat. ‘Of course I’ll help you,’ she said quietly. ‘You know I’d kill for you. But –’

‘It’s nothing bad,’ Pip cut her off, glancing down at the burner phone. ‘Look, it’s just turned 9:43 p.m., see?’ she said, showing them the time. ‘Don’t look at me, look at the time, Cara. See? You never have to lie, ever. All that’s happened is I came over a few minutes ago, made that call to Max’s lawyer from your landline, because I lost my phone.’

‘You lost your phone?’ Cara said.

‘That’s not the something bad,’ Pip replied.

‘Yeah, no shit,’ Cara said through a nervous laugh.

‘What do you need us to do?’ Naomi asked, lips folded in a determined line. ‘If it has anything to do with Max Hastings, you know I’m in.’

Pip didn’t answer that, didn’t want them to know more than they had to. But she was glad Naomi was here with them, it felt right somehow. Full circle.

‘You just need to come with me. In the car. Be with me for a couple of hours, so I’m there with you guys, and not anywhere else.’

They understood, or close to it, Pip could tell from the shift in their faces.

‘An alibi,’ Cara spoke the unspoken thing.

Pip tilted her head up and down, the tiniest of movements, not quite a nod.

‘You never have to lie,’ she said. ‘About any of it, any of the details, ever. All you ever need to say, need to know, is exactly what we’re going to do. You’re not doing anything wrong, anything illegal. You’re hanging out with your friend, that’s all and that’s all you know. It’s 9:44 p.m. and you just need to come with me.’

Cara nodded, and the look in her eyes was different now, sadder. It still looked like fear, but not for herself. For the friend standing in front of her, unravelling. The friend she’d known twice as long as she hadn’t. Friends who would die for each other, kill for each other, and Pip would be the first one to lean on that.

‘Where are we going?’ Naomi asked.

Pip exhaled and gave them a strained smile. She re-zipped her bag and threw it over her shoulders.

‘We’re going to McDonalds,’ she said.