Arise

Logan had been working hard these past couple of days. With Caleb and Val off on their honeymoon, Logan had to take one Caleb’s duties temporarily. He spent most of his days in Caleb’s office, filing paperwork and talking to other packs about border disputes and treaties. Three days into being the substitute Alpha, Logan didn’t come home on time. Worried, I ran to the office and found him taking a nap over some very important contracts.

With the week now ending, and Alpha and Luna returning tomorrow morning, I thought I would do something for Logan. He had been busy all week with no sleep, so I figured it would be nice to order his favorite dinner and tidy up the house. The food was already in the oven staying warm. All that was left to do was clean the house.

He had told me that he would be home late again, which gave me a couple more hours to clean around. I started with the upstairs this morning before making my way towards the living room and kitchen. I only stopped when the food finally arrived.

I set the dinner table and put a bottle of wine off to the side. I had an hour or so to spare so I went into the living room to watch tv. I flipped through different channels and found nothing good. I stopped at a random soap opera and tried to watch but it was near impossible. My eyes began to drift around the room. I stopped short when I noticed the closed door.

Logan had told me earlier that this room was closed off and I wasn’t allowed to enter. It was his office and if my scent was in there it would be distracting. Logan wouldn’t be home yet, so if I went in, he would never know. I could just tidy it up and spray some air freshener.

I stared at the mahogany door and shuffled closer to it, hesitantly reaching for the doorknob. I turned it ever so slowly and heard a click. The door was unlocked. If he didn’t want me to go in, he wouldn’t have left the door unlocked.

It was now or never.

I pushed the door open and as it creaked, I silently prayed that it wasn’t a room full of porcelain dolls.

I peeked my head through and turned the light switch on. There before me was a plain bedroom. The room looked as if no one had lived in it for years. I walked inside and took in my surroundings. Everything seemed to be normal. Not a single porcelain doll in sight. But it wasn’t an office space.

There was a giant king size bed that looked untouched, a giant dresser next to it with jewelry and books on top. Drawers were both opened and closed. It looked as if the room was used but never cleaned. As is Logan kept it the way it was left.

Why had he lied to me?

Something in the corner of my eye caught my attention. I turned fully to the left and that’s when I found my answer. There on the wall across the bed, was a huge portrait of Logan and his parents. And that’s when it clicked. This room belonged to his parents.

Not wanting to intrude any more, I walked backwards towards the door when I heard a voice.

“Looking for something?”

I jumped in surprise and whipped around to face an angry Logan. I opened my mouth to speak, but with his speed, he grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the room, shutting the door behind me. He placed his hands on either side of my head and leaned down, looking at me expectantly.

I looked him straight in the eyes. I wasn’t backing down. “Why did you lie?”

He laughed dryly and moved away from me. He took a deep breath and crossed his arms over his chest and tilted his head. “What in your mind told you it was a good idea to go in there?”

“Why won’t you answer my question?” I kept my voice steady.

He stepped close enough that I had to tilt my head up. “That is none of your concern.”

My nose flared. “I live here! Of course, it is!” He didn’t respond, but I pushed up, reaching his eye level. “Why didn’t you tell me it was your parents’ room?”

“Do not provoke me.” He was staring at my lips, desire swimming in his eyes.

“Why is it so hard for you to tell me?” My words coming out breathlessly. My attention turned to his bobbing throat.

“Stop.” His voice broke.

My heart pounded. “Look at me,” I commanded. Calm and steady.

His heated gaze ensnared me. I gasped when I felt it. Every inch of my body tingled and burned wherever he touched. His throat rumbled as he pressed up against me. Unwilling to let him torture me, I pulled his head down, finally tasting his sweet lips.

It was not like any other kiss we shared. This was fast and needy and fuel by anger. My hands pulled at the ends of his hair, pulling him impossibly closer. A moan crawled up my throat and he gripped my waist. His lips left mine, moving down my neck. I tilted my head, giving him more access. His lips were hot and needy against my neck. Peppering wet kisses down to my collar bone.

I gasped his name when his teeth grazed the spot where my neck curved. Where a mark would lay, if he did it.

Breathlessly I said, “do it.” My eyes remained closed. My chest heaved.

His lips stopped moving. Hot air from his breathing gave me goosebumps.

I met his gaze. His eyes were pitch black and dilated.

I trusted him. I wanted him to mark me. Val had told me about it days ago and I had wondered when Logan would do it to me. He had never talked about it. Had never mentioned it me even before today. “Mark me.”

He pushed away from me as if repulsed by my words. My heart faltered.

He shook his head repeatedly and stumbled further away from as if he had been physically hit.

I reached out to him. “Logan?”

He lifted his head slightly and bared his teeth at me, tetting out a low grumble.

“Logan?”

He blinked. Once. Twice. His eyes flickered to my panicked state and rounded as he realized what he did. He stepped back and moved toward the backdoor in horror. I lifted my arm to stop him, but he turned around, unzipping his hoodie.

Before I could even open my mouth, he shifted into his wolf and ran out the backdoor.

I had given myself twenty minutes to recollect my thoughts before I went running to look for him. The moment he ran out, I realize how stupid I was. Stupid for letting my curiosity get the best of me. Stupid for pushing him. Stupid for watching him run. Every time we made one big step forward, I would push him further and we would take ten steps back. It was an unending cycle of unanswered questions and secrets.

I threw on a jacket and grabbed a pair of pants for Logan, as well as a thick blanket before running out the door.

I was still getting used to the pack territory, but I knew enough of the area to know where he would be. My steps led me to the pond less than five minutes away from the house. It was a pond that he talked fondly about. He went fishing with his dad here, and by fishing I meant, they would catch fish with their teeth, as wolves.

Clearing my head of worry, I made my way past the trees, broken branches, and uneven ground towards the small pond.

It was now dark, and my vision was failing me, but I could recognize that gray wolf from anywhere. I approached quietly and with caution. Which failed to work because his ears perked at the sound of my footsteps. The last time I was this close to him as a wolf was when I found out what he was.

I placed the folded pants on the ground in front of him and wrapped the blanket over me.

“You can’t speak right now, so I will.” With a sigh, I counted to three in my head and began. “I shouldn’t have gone into that room. It was not my intention to anger you. I was just being stupid.” I played with the loose threads on the blanket and continued. “I am sorry.” I sniffed. I wasn’t supposed to cry; I hated crying, but the tears threated to fall.

He made no sound of movement, but his ears remained perked. I hugged the blanket around me tighter.

I looked at him. “I am not afraid of you.” His snout scrunched. “I’m not. You’re supposed to trust me, and I’m supposed to trust you. But what good is that when you freak out every time I even mention something about your parents. I get it. There are some things that you don’t tend to share, but it’s just me.”

Silence followed.

“Listen, you don’t have to tell me. But am I ever going to know?”

Logan rose up from his position with his pants dangling from his mouth and trotted to a bush.

I hugged my knees to my chest and put my head down. My ears perked at the sound of him sitting down next to me. I turned my head towards him, waiting for him to respond.

“My parents died while helping another pack.”

I picked my head up in surprise. I looked at him and realized he must have been cold. He was only wearing the pants I grabbed earlier. I quickly took off the blanket and put it over him. When I reached over him, I kissed his cheek. “Day by day.” I reached down and held his hand, caressing it softly.

“I was eighteen and stupid. I knew that the position as Beta was already mine since my dad was Beta before me. I didn’t care what I did. The former Alpha—Caleb’s dad—had created an alliance with another pack and promised to send fighters to defend their territory from another pack. It was decided that Caleb and I would stay back. We were heirs; if anything happened to them, the pack needed us to lead on. I didn’t care to help either.” He clenched his jaws and gulped.

“What happened?”

“The night they left, I snuck out and went to a bonfire. Everyone was getting drunk and rowdy. I might’ve had a couple drinks when I overheard someone talking about me.”

“What did they say?”

“Said I was being a coward by not fighting. Not protecting the pack or the current and future Alphas. And I lost it. I shifted and ran off after the fighters, among them were my parents. I had been training most of life but had never seen an act of war. I ran right into a fight. My eyes were a little hazy and I couldn’t see properly. A wolf charged at me, but my parents were there in seconds. They held them off for some time but. . .”

I kissed his shoulder. “You don’t have to continue.”

His eyes were in a daze, as if he were reliving the very memory he tried staying away from. “They died. The rogues dragged their bodies away before I could stop them. I went after them looking for days, but nothing came up. I went out of mind. They appointed me Beta and Caleb became Alpha a couple months later and I left. I went to college.” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “And then I found you.”

“And I found you.” I kissed his lips before resting my head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry. You didn’t have to tell me.”

“You deserved answers.” He raised my chin.

“I love you.” The words came out of my mouth before I could stop myself. I stared at him and opened my mouth again to save myself from mortification but thought against it. I might not have voiced those words in my head, but it was how I felt. He had been so patient with me from the very beginning and gave me nothing but love since I arrived. I loved him beyond words, and he needed to know.

I didn’t need a mark to feel what I was feeling. I knew that my heart would always belong to him.

His lips touched mine with fervor. Again, filled with need and desire. No anger. Only longing and passion. He kissed me hard, coaxing me.

It was explosive. It was fire. It was all-consuming. I wound my arms around his neck and brought him closer. It was loving.

His hands were on my waist, pulling me to his lap. I pressed harder against him, putting everything into the kiss. He returned with just as much heat and friction. We broke a part for a moment before I grabbed his face and pulled him to me. My hands moved to his chest. His stomach was smooth and hard against my hand. My hand slightly moved down, eliciting a hiss from him.

“We should probably stop.”

He chuckled. “Wouldn’t want our first time to be on the grass, huh?” A blush creeped up my cheeks as I stood up and tried to look anywhere else.

He stood up and held my hand, leading me back to the house. “Let’s go to bed.”

I nodded, but I waited for those words to come out of him. The three words that would change everything. But they never came. He never said he loved me.