Arise

It was nightfall, and many of the pack youth were in the backyard around a bonfire, having fun. It was August and the members were preparing for the coming full moon.

The summer heat was leaving, and the fall winds were returning. The leaves had yet to change colors, but some were browning.

I pulled the cardigan closer around me. I was here for one reason only, and that was to talk to Travis. I needed answers, and the only way I would get them started with Travis. He wasn’t sitting on the front porch or hanging out in the backyard. I looked for CeCe first, but saw Shaw standing next to her. Asking her were Travis was didn’t seem like a good idea anymore.

Finally, I spotted Travis in the dining hall drinking beer. He was surrounded by his friends, Drake and Seb. I gulped and pushed down the nerves running around in my stomach. I internally kicked myself and made my way toward the three of them. I cracked my knuckles. I can do this.

I clinked my beer bottle against his in greeting. “Hey, Travis.” Travis was wearing a black and bleached t-shirt that had Guns N’ Roses written on it and cargo shorts.

“Hello, Beta Female.”

I rolled my eyes. “You know you can call me Rosie, right?”

“But calling you Beta Female annoys you.” He winked. The nerves slowly left me, and I relaxed a bit. This would not be hard. I only had one simple question for him. That was it.

“It’s a mouthful! There’s no point.” I nodded at his friends. “Sup, boys.”

“Rosie.” They lifted their bottles in acknowledgment.

I took a swig and let the cold liquid burn my throat. I hated beer with a passion, but if I was going to do this then I need some alcohol in my system. My suspicions had to be right. Nerves hit me again from head to toe. I had to ask Travis. It was now or never.

“So,” I started. “How was the fight yesterday?” I evened by breathing.

He shrugged and eyes the room. “Went pretty well. I think Bridget did well against Tanya, but I think if she were to try and—”

“I’m talking about you.”

“I didn’t fight yesterday.” He moved on to talk to his buddies about the fight between the girls.

I sucked in a breath. I had hoped to be wrong, but I was right. Logan had lied to me. Big time.

I quickly masked my hurt expression and smiled wide. “You wished you fought Brigit. That girl can kick your ass any day.”

Drake and Seb shouted at my comment and shoved him a couple times. I disappeared as soon as Seb had Travis in a headlock.

With a heavy heart, I bolted back to the house. Logan had told me earlier that he was put on border patrol, but looking back at it now, it was probably a lie.

Lies.

Lies were what tore people apart. Lies were what people said to protect themselves. Lies were meant to hurt people. And he had hurt me.

It took me three tries to properly insert the key into the doorknob and turn it.

Suddenly, everything felt cold.

I felt numb.

He had lied to me.

Logan lied to me.

I ran my fingers through my hair as the first tear fell down my cheek. I gasped for air. I was being suffocated. I cried out but stopped short. I needed answers, and I was going to look for them.

He had taken away the envelope I showed him, but I could easily find that.

I went to our room and opened every single draw. I dug through clothes and random items looking for the note. I looked under our bed and in the closet. When I opened the closet, the first thing I looked through was the suit he wore at the wedding.

I felt my way around the pockets. Inside the suit, was a hidden pocket that had a lump. I pulled out the crumpled paper and straightened it out.

My eyes ran over the notes a couple times, reading and rereading.

He owed me an explanation.

Logan saw me as soon as he entered the house. “Hey, Doll. I thought you would be at the bonfire?” He took his shoes off before coming towards me.

I was in the kitchen, leaning against the island table, sipping coffee.

He tried to kiss me, but I moved away. “I wasn’t in the mood.”

“Are you okay?” Hypocrite. He was a hypocrite.

Avoiding his worried eyes, I threw out the notes I found on the table. “Explain this.”

His face scrunched in confusion. He leaned forward, reading the first thing he saw. His eyes widened, and his lips parted. “Where did you find these?”

“Explain, now.”

“I told you. There was a fight—”

I scoffed. “That’s bullshit, and you know it.”

“What do you want me to say?” He opened the top cabinet and pulled out a glass.

“The truth! Tell me what’s wrong and don’t lie this time.” He couldn’t lie about this one. Not after I’ve seen all of this.

“I’m not lying.” I had enough evidence to believe otherwise.

“Yes, you are!” I stared at the notes. One from his suit, and three others found in one of his drawers. I crossed my arms over my chest. “I went to the stupid bonfire. I talked to Travis. Did you not think I would ask him?”

He didn’t respond. He didn’t know what to say. He stared at his glass, refusing to make eye contact with me. “You went through my things.”

My lips quivered. “You’ve been lying to me.”

He gripped the glass, knuckles turning white. “No, I haven’t.”

“Omitting things is just the same as lying.”

“You’re crazy.” He downed the drink before setting the glass in the sink. Bad choice of words.

My head throbbed. “Why don’t you trust me, huh? Logan, I am you mate. Why can’t you tell me what’s wrong? Let me help you!” My ears perked at the sound of rain hitting the window. It was getting louder and louder as the rain fell harder and harder.

“There’s nothing to tell!”

I tucked my hair behind my ears. “Do you honestly believe that? Listen to yourself!”

“Everything is fine, Rosetta!” He gripped the high chair and pushed it down aggressively.

His anger had become further proof. I hugged myself and whimpered. “Then why don’t I believe you?”

“Because you always find a reason to argue with me!” He threw is arms up.

“Excuse me?” A flash of lightening peaked through the kitchen windows, illuminating his face.

“All you do is push and push and push, without even thinking about what it’s doing to me! I give and give, but it’s never enough. You always want more. Do you not see that being with you is suffocating me?”

I stilled. “Well, if I’m suffocating you why don’t you just leave.”

He picked the chair back up. “I think I’ll sleep somewhere else, tonight.” He grabbed his jacket from the couch and walked up the stairs.

I gripped the table. “No one’s stopping you!” I yelled at his retreating figure.

The rain did not cease after that. It continued long throughout the night. I stayed on the couch, refusing to enter our bedroom. The sound of the tv barely audible. It’s not like I was paying attention anyways.

Thunder rumbled, and the rumble vibrated around the house. I laid my head on the armrest and closed my eyes, exhaling out of my mouth. A memory came to me.

We were watching a movie when it started to rain. I had snuggled closer into Logan, inhaling his scent and basking in his warmth.

At the first sound of thunder, Logan flinched. I thought I had imagined it, but when the sky roared again, he shuttered.

“I’m not a fan of thunder,” he stammered. “Bad memories.”

Not wasting a second, I kissed his temple and rose up from the couch. My guitar was on its stand near the fireplace. I grabbed it and returned to my place on the couch. I propped my legs on the armrest and began strumming.

Keeping the tempo slow, I started humming. His head was rested back and his eyes were closed. His fingers caressing my legs to the beat of the music. He gently pushed my legs down. “Come here.”

Smiling softly, I sat on his lap with my hold still on the guitar. I leaned against him as his arms wound around my torso and his face rested on the slope of my neck. He inhaled deeply and kissed my shoulder.

I closed my eyes in bliss and let the music speak for itself. Let it calm him of his fears.

Wait.

I picked up my head when another round of thunder roared. I closed my eyes and grimaced, smacking my forehead. Logan had a fear of thunder. He was probably having trouble falling asleep.

Without missing a beat, I threw the blanket off me, and shivered as cool air hit my legs. I took the steps two at a time and headed straight to our bedroom. The door creaked when I pushed it open.

The lamp on the nightstand was on, illuminating only one corner of the room. Logan had changed into pajamas and was laying sideways on the bed with his legs dangling off the edge. His arms were over his eyes. Thunder struck, and he flinched, muttering expletives.

“Logan?” I pulled at the sleeves of my shirts, worriedly.

“I can’t do this anymore. Not with you.” He barely spoke in a whisper, but I heard loud and clear.

My feet patted across the carpeted floor until my legs hit the mattress. I sat down with my legs under me, moving his hair away from his face with my fingers. His face slightly damp with sweat.

“I wear green because that’s your favorite color.” I confessed as I continued moving away the brown locks of hair matting his forehead.

“You love reality tv, even though it’s scripted.” I laid down on my side, facing him. I tucked one hand under my head and moved my other hand to run my fingers through his hair. He moved his arms from his face, but his eyes remained tightly shut. “You love Michael Jackson because that’s all your dad played growing up.” I ran one finger across his forehead and down his cheek. I saw patches of a stubble growing.

He opened his eyes and stared at me. His gray eyes were despondent and cautious. Our proximity brought warmth between us. I rubbed my thumb over his chin. I couldn’t bear to see his pain. I loved him.

“And you hate thunder because it was thunder storming when you lost your parents.”

He shut his eyes and his face morphed into a painful expression. He let out a breathy shutter.

I kissed his forehead. Without breaking eye contact, he held on to me and moved us, so we could be under the sheets. I threw my leg over him and wrapped my arms around him, hugging him. My fingers played with the ends of his soft hair gently.

“Rosetta. . .”

“Sleep, you need it. I won’t sleep until you do.” We had fought tonight, but that wasn’t important. He needed a goodnight’s rest.

And another argument went unresolved.