Chapter 12
It had taken Cinder a couple days in bed to recover enough strength to walk around her room. Sebastian had stayed by her side the entire time, and often, Jenny, Tristan, and Adrian would stop in to visit. After three days of resting in her room, Cinder slowly started walking around the palace’s gardens again.
Adrian joined her on her walks when Sebastian did not, offering her his arm as a support while she slowly walked. He asked her about where she had grown up, her family, her friends, and what it was like to live with her giftings.
“It can be a burden at times, I’ll admit. You hear things you’re not supposed to or would rather not know or hear. There are people with such dark minds that it sickens you, like Dominique and Rhys. I know Sebastian has mentioned him to you.” Adrian sighed at the thought of her being attacked.
“Yes,” he answered her. “He did mention you being attacked and how he saved you from the man. Were you hurt?” She held onto his arm tighter, the memory of the attack bothering her. She realized at that moment that Adrian made her feel safe. She looked up into his beautiful blue eyes, feeling reassured and like nothing could harm her when she was with him. She answered after a moment, “No, not seriously. I had bruising from when he tackled me, but nothing permanent.”
Cinder could feel Adrian’s relief for her sake but also that fierce protectiveness in him that seemed to only be growing; the more time she spent with him, the more it seemed to strengthen. She met his eyes and could see it in how he looked at her; it stirred something in her, and she realized she liked that he felt that way. It added to her feeling of safety when she was with him.
She blushed a little and looked away from his eyes, back to the ground where they were walking. They had turned to head back to her room and walked through the corridors together. He was thinking about her running through the woods with Sebastian and the simple childhood that she had described to him. Her isolation allowing her freedom from prejudices that were instilled in other witches at that age. He had a deep feeling of gratitude that she had grown up that way and had found her way to his Kingdom and him.
She heard his thoughts but didn’t acknowledge that she did, other than her slight blush growing deeper. She also felt grateful to be there and to know him. Fear followed her confession to herself, and she desperately fought her growing feelings for him. She couldn’t allow herself to love him, or she would bring him death like she had Garret.
They walked into her room, and he helped her lay down on her bed to rest. His eyes lingered on hers momentarily before he stood and left her to rest.
She rested for some hours until a knock on her door woke her. Tristan had come to spend an afternoon with her. She gave him a big smile when he escorted her out of her room and down to the gardens below. They were having a picnic in the small garden, underneath her bedroom balcony together.
They had spread a blanket and were nibbling on various fruits, cheeses, meat, and sipping wine. They were laughing and discussing the upcoming Festival.
“You will be sure to save me a dance, right?” he asked her.
“Of course, Tristan! I couldn’t leave my dance partner hanging!” she laughed at him, reaching for more cheese. “Have to make sure you’re keeping up with your dancing, even though I’ve been unable to go out for a while. Can’t have you slipping on your moves, so you better be ready!” she teased him.
He laughed at her snark and threw a grape at her, smiling, saying, “Snot!”
Cinder laughed back at him and shook her head, enjoying him. He always made her feel so light-hearted, and she loved that about him. It didn’t matter if they were talking like this, out dancing, or even sparring together in the practice yards; he always had a way of making her laugh and easing her troubles. She loved him for it.
“You deserve it,” she smirked at him.
He returned her smirk, teasing, “You’re lucky your hair is loose, or I’d give your braid a tug for running off your mouth!” She was laughing at him again, sticking her tongue out at him.
Above them, Adrian watched them from his balcony with a smile as he ran a hand over his shadowed jaw. A knock sounded on his door, and when he answered, a servant entered to announce Sebastian. The servant excused himself, and Sebastian walked across the lavish room, decorated tastefully in gold and white, to join Adrian on his balcony. The two stood at the edge, with their arms outstretched, resting their hands on the railing. Cinder’s laughter from below drew Sebastian’s attention, and he spotted the picnicking pair.
“You asked for me, Adrian?” Sebastian asked him as he watched Tristan and Cinder on their picnic.
“How are the preparations coming for the upcoming Summer Solstice festival?” Adrian asked him while also watching the pair below.
“They are almost finished. We are sourcing one last load of supplies; otherwise, it is all arranged. It should be a wonderful night. Do you need anything from me during the Festival?”
“Custom dictates that you join me on the royal platform during the celebration when you are not dancing or needed elsewhere. There is a cape that you wear as part of your royal dress. It hooks on the backside of the livery collar you are wearing. There are also matching arm bracers for around your wrists and lower part of your forearms.”
“Still no shirt?”
“Not at ceremonies or celebrations.”
“You’re picking things up remarkably fast, Sebastian. You should be proud,” Adrian said with a smile for him.
“Thank you, Adrian. There is much to learn still. The higher points of ruling still escape me,” Sebastian remarked.
“How so?” Adrian asked him.
“How do you make decisions that affect people’s lives? I have yet to sit in on your Court, where you hear the pleas of your people, but it must be difficult. How do you know the right course of action?” Adrian smiled and chuckled, leaning over and bearing his weight on his interlaced fists.
“It is something that you just feel while keeping what is best for the entire Kingdom in the back of your mind. You will have Cinder, which will give you an inside view into things,” Adrian said, as he looked down at her and then continued, “A few days after the Solstice Celebration is the day for holding Court. You, of course, will be there, next to me, and I believe Cinder will come to help. You have a natural wisdom, Sebastian; you’ll get the hang of it, I know.”
Sebastian thought about his words for a while. Cinder always had faith in him, but Adrian’s praise, being a wise and good King Alpha, hit him on a deep level; he rolled Adrian’s words over in his head, unsure what to think of everything. It wasn’t in Adrian’s character to lavish praise where it wasn’t due, even if the two men were becoming close friends.
Another round of laughter coming from below drew both of their gazes.
“They seem close,” observed Adrian, “It is nice to see her forming some close bonds here. Jenny and Cinder also seem close.”
“Yes. Cinder has also grown attached to you,” stated Sebastian. The King said nothing; he just stood and ran his fingers over his shadowed chin while he thought.
He looked at Sebastian, quietly asking, “Does this displease you?”
“No,” Sebastian spoke, without hint of malice or contempt, “Cinder is my Bondmate. She is also my best friend and lover, but we are not married, Adrian. Her choices are hers; I have never dictated her relationships. She loved Garret at the same time as me and simply lost him; I never made her choose.” Adrian wore a scowl as he considered Sebastian’s words, looking back down at Cinder below.
He looked up from Cinder to Sebastian and asked, “You were ok with her loving Garret at the same time?”
“Yes. I am in Cinder’s life forever. We belong to each other, no matter what. Feeling threatened by the others in her life would only serve to drive us apart. She is the type of woman who gets under your skin and stays with you, haunting you. If you haven’t already, I couldn’t blame you for falling for her.”
Adrian looked below him at Cinder and Tristan and sighed, “I would never jeopardize my friendship with you and what we are trying to accomplish with this mentorship. Our world needs you.”
“Feeling for her and loving her wouldn’t do that, Adrian. At least, not for my part,” whispered Sebastian.
Adrian turned to look into Sebastian’s eyes before asking, “What would?”
“Hurting her or trying to force me to choose between her and my duty, as I have already stated. As you said, that is your burden to bear, not mine, and she will always come first,” Sebastian answered truthfully while meeting Adrian’s gaze. Sebastian looked down at the picnickers and continued, “She is terrified to love anyone after what happened with Garret. She blames herself for his death; she believes the same thing will happen to anyone else she opens her heart to. She is even afraid to love me. If you do care for her, it will take some convincing on her part to let you in. Do you love her?”
Adrian wasn’t going to lie to Sebastian and answered, “Yes, despite trying to fight it from the moment I first saw her. I’m sorry.”
Sebastian shook his head and said, “Don’t be sorry. Take your place in her life but be prepared to make room for others. Knowing who she is, I would not be surprised that many others will flock to her and try to find a place in her life as well. Not many will succeed, but they will try. Even Dominique wrestles for a hold over her.”
“And you are the only one that seems to have one,” mused Adrian aloud.
Sebastian looked at Adrian again, responding, “She is attached to you, as I said. More so than you may believe, more so than she will even admit to herself, because of her fear, and more so than any who have crossed her path, before you.”
Adrian was surprised at Sebastian’s insights into Cinder’s feelings for him. Did she actually feel as strongly about him as he did for her?
Sebastian’s thoughts floated to Brane, Riley, and even Tristan below. Even the other soldiers she would spar with at times could be caught looking at her in a way that communicated a desire to know her in that way. Brane had been smitten with her during the year and a half of their training, but she had never been interested in him.
“Then you would not mind if I asked her to be my partner for the opening dance of the King?” Adrian asked him.
“No, but what does that even mean?” Sebastian asked. Adrian laughed and clapped Sebastian on the shoulder lightly.
“The King has to dance the opening dance of every Festival and dance that is publicly thrown by the crown, this being one. In the future, you, as my Second, will also join me with a partner.”
“More traditions, I take it?” Sebastian clarified.
“Yes, it is customary and is often followed by a dance done by the nobility or guests of honor for that particular festival.”
Adrian’s laughter had drawn Cinder’s attention from down below, and she looked up at the two men standing there, talking amiably together. The two were so different in appearance, but she found each extremely attractive. Sebastian’s black hair, yellow eyes, thin lips, and pale skin matched the silver and black livery collar he wore over his broad shoulders and bare chest. Adrian’s dark brown hair, brilliant blue eyes, full lips, and copper skin also seemed to match his gold and white livery collar that he wore. The two were a match for one another in build and height.
Looking at them, she thought the pair of them standing on the balcony above her looked like two Grecian Gods, stunning and powerful in appearance and charisma. They each had an intense presence, confidently carrying themselves, while their auras reflected power and strength. Two King Alphas that acted more like brothers than other wolves that were related; their growing friendship and love for one another was evident in their laughter and smiles they shared. It brought her heart joy to see; Sebastian had so few friends, and Adrian also needed someone. Her eyes traveled from one to the other, lingering on each man; their smiles were so attractive, and their laughter magnetic. Her eyes illuminated for a second, looking at the two of them.
“Cinder?” Tristan asked her, finally noticing she was distracted. Her gaze turned to him, and he gasped and stood up, his eyes illuminating from alarm; he was scared of her. She blinked a few times, and her eyes went back to normal.
“What are you?!” he almost shouted at her.
Both men on the balcony looked down at the disturbance.
“Tristan, it’s alright. I am no different than I was two seconds ago. What’s the matter?” she asked him in a calm voice.
She listened to his thoughts. He had seen her illuminated eyes and was now completely unsure of what she was. He knew she wasn’t a wolf but didn’t know what she was. He searched his mind for other magical creatures that could perform magic and held a human form; those creatures were always dark outside of witches.
“I’m a witch, Tristan, not something else.”
“But your eyes! I saw them. They looked like a wolf’s!”
“Yes. I’m Bonded with Sebastian, remember? There are things about me you don’t know, but that doesn’t change who I am. It’s ok, Tristan.”
Tristan evaluated her words and then started to calm down. Sebastian had prepared himself to intervene if necessary but relaxed when he saw Tristan calm down. Tristan cautiously came back and sat on the blanket next to Cinder.
“What was that, Cinder?” he asked her.
Cinder answered, “My eyes illuminate just like yours under times of strong emotions. It started when I took a certain vaccine against Sebastian’s virus as a precaution when bonding with him. It was one of the side effects of that. I promise there isn’t anything different about me than you know.” He nodded and then smiled a little, looking down.
“What strong emotion were you feeling right then?” he asked her, curious, “You weren’t afraid of me or mad, were you?” She cleared her throat, embarrassed.
“No.” His mind wandered, confused at first, and then when he looked at her flushed cheeks, he put it together in his mind. His eyebrows shot, and his mouth formed an ‘O’ in surprise. His mind concluded that it had been for him at that moment; he hadn’t noticed the two on the balcony she had been gazing at.
“I’m sorry, Tristan, my thoughts had been wandering. I apologize,” she tried to subtly let him know it hadn’t been him. He was unsure after what she said but still felt confused. “I think I need to return to my chambers, Tristan. I’m tired and want to be well-rested before the Festival in a few days. I’m sorry for what happened here. I never meant to frighten you or confuse you. For that, I am sorry,” she said.
“It’s ok, Cinder. Here,” he offered her his hand, “let me help you up.” She took his hand, and he pulled her up to him. The look he gave her spoke of his confusion and awareness of her.
“Please, Tristan, you are my friend. Don’t ruin a good thing for a shadow of something that doesn’t exist,” she whispered while she stood close to him. She felt him suck in a breath that made clear his mind of the confusion, and he went back to being Tristan, her friend, in his mind. She smiled at him in relief.
He collected up their picnic and offered her his arm, which she gladly took. She was feeling a little weak and leaned on him for support. They took the stairwells slowly, and Cinder needed to rest a little after the third set up to the courtyard. She had to sit on the steps leading up to the terrace to catch her breath. She was healed, but her body was still anemic from the blood loss.
“Cinder, do you need me to call for Jenny?” asked Tristan. She shook her head. ‘No.’
“Cinder?” Sebastian had come to find them and was walking up behind her.
Tristan answered him, “She is too weak to go any further, Your Highness.” He bowed to Sebastian and addressed him formally, despite being friends, because they were in public.
“Thank You, Captain. I’ll take it from here,” Sebastian kindly dismissed Tristan.
Sebastian bent down and lifted Cinder into his arms. He walked down the royal hall to her room, cradling her in his arms.
“You’re overdoing it. You need to rest.”
She let him feel her agreement and slumped against his bare chest. She ran her hand along his livery collar, and he shivered at her light but intimate touch. She rested her hand against his chest, near her face, and relaxed as he carried her. The guard at her door opened it for them, and Sebastian entered. Sebastian walked her over to her bed and gently placed her on it.
“What happened down at the picnic, Cinder? What had Tristan so scared of you?” She relaxed into the pillows, fatigued. Cinder didn’t open her eyes or respond in any physical way.
“He saw my eyes illuminate, and it scared him. He thought I was some other kind of creature. It’s resolved.” Sebastian couldn’t help but smile at the thought of Tristan’s surprise.
He sat down on the edge of the bed and asked in his mind, “Were you frightened or angry at something at the time?”
She shook her head, answering, “No.” She didn’t say any more. His mind was quiet, waiting. She, at last, looked at him, opening her eyes from where she lay on the bed.
“I was looking at you and Adrian on the balcony, Sebastian.” She wasn’t too anemic to blush and closed her eyes from embarrassment. “Guess I got caught ogling you,” she admitted.
“Just me?” he teased her, and her eyes flew open with surprise. Her blush spread across her face and neck. He smiled at her and reached out to brush her hair away from her face and tuck it behind her ear like always. He tenderly looked at her, thinking, “You know it’s alright, right? He isn’t Garret, Cinder, and it’s alright to give yourself permission to love him.” A pained look came to her face, and she shut her eyes, turning her face from him.
“Cinder,” he sighed, reaching out to caress her face and gently draw it back to his, so he could gaze into her eyes. “You already love him.” Her eyes glassed over as she looked at Sebastian, still saying nothing. “Are you hiding your feelings, denying them on my account?” he asked her, his golden eyes still full of patience and love for his best friend.
She looked down and mentally whispered, “Yes, some, though I know you never had issues with Garret. I guess it’s more that I bring death to those I love. Even loving you scares me at times with my chosen pathway.” He sighed affectionately and kissed her, gently holding her face.
He stayed close, looking into her eyes, and said, “Cinder, you bring life, not death. Without you, I would have nothing. Garret’s death was not your fault.” He could see the disagreement in her eyes as he continued, “Adrian is a good man. One worthy of your love. Admitting that you love him isn’t going to bring him death, Cinder. It may bring more depth to his heart and yours if you don’t acknowledge how you feel. And it would be a slow death of the heart too. You already love him.”
“I want to help him, not bring him harm, Sebastian. My love only brings death and pain.”
“That is not true, Cinder. You bring me life every day, every moment I’m with you. You make living worth it; any price I would have to pay to have another day with you would be worth it. Don’t deny Adrian the incredible gift of your love because of your fear. Help him how you can; bring healing to his heart, but part of that will be loving him, Cinder, and allowing him to love you back.” He could see the emotions in her eyes that glassed over. “Do not worry about me, Cinder. I know my place in your life and could never feel threatened.”
He leaned over her and kissed her lips again, slowly, savoring the lightest touch and taste of her. A sigh escaped her when he pulled back just enough to look into her violet eyes. “You’re mine, Cinder, and you always will be, no matter who else you love. Don’t make me remind you,” he said, his eyes darkening as he drug the pad of his thumb down her lips, parting them. She drew in a breath, and her eyes flickered to light at the prospect. A pleased smirk came to his face, his eyes narrowing with desire as he looked at her. His smoldering eyes started to glow while his smile turned almost predatory. “As much as I would love to, Cinder, you need to rest,” he whispered, still eating her alive with his eyes. She reached up and pulled his lips back down to hers, coaxing and teasing him with her tongue, making him moan.
“You trying to undermine my self-control, Cinder?”
She laughed on his lips, thinking, “Absolutely. Please, Sebastian? Make love to me.” He groaned, still fighting to give in, despite her begging.
“Cinder, you should rest.”
She sighed, “I’ve been resting for three days. Show me again how I’m yours? Make love to me, Sebastian.”
Another groan, and she could feel him give in; he could never resist her pleading for long. He kissed her back fervently, not breaking the kiss, reaching down to pull his boots off before climbing onto the bed with her.
His eyes looked into hers with adoration while one of his hands caressed the length of her, finding the bottom of the gown she was wearing to slowly pull it up her body; his open palm leaving a hot path up her bare thigh. She smiled at him, reaching to remove his livery collar and belt, setting them on her nightstand. He pulled her dress from her form, and his pants soon followed it to the floor as he settled between her thighs.
His hands slid up her legs from her ankles, making her shiver with pleasure. His hot mouth kissed its way up her inner thigh, making her gasp. Her hips buckled and arched toward his mouth when he found her throbbing need, sucking on her, building up her need. His hands slid from her knees, slowly up her thighs until he held her hips, squeezing them slightly as he lifted her to him more. She cried out when his tongue entered her, stroking her.
Her hands gripped his shoulders, her nails digging in slightly at the feel of him coaxing her body higher and higher. His tongue left her, but his fingers replaced them, pressing into her as she moaned, his mouth returning to kiss her thighs until he once again had her moaning as he sucked on her flesh, where she throbbed and ached.
She looked down a moment before the wave of pleasure drug her under, and two glowing, golden wolf eyes looked back up at her, taking in every detail of the flush of pleasure he was bringing to her beautiful face. When it washed over her, she moaned and shut her eyes, her legs shaking a little while her knees framed his shoulders.
Sebastian kissed his way up her body, and before she could even come down, he thrust inside her to gently start moving. He kissed her neck, making her shiver and mumble his name. She tried pushing him to roll over, but he wouldn’t move for her.
He bent to her ear and whispered, “Not this time, Cinder. You’re supposed to be resting, remember? You just lay there and let me take care of you this time. I always take care of what’s mine.” He pulled back with a naughty smirk, and she smiled back at him through her lidded eyes.
His hands framed her ribcage and held her down on the bed as he sat up over her, watching her intensely as his hips moved in a slow rhythm. She caressed his jaw and face, raking her hands up into his hair while she looked at him, adoring him until the pleasure from his slow movements built up. Each movement of his hips was a gentle withdrawal before he filled her to completion again, stroking her right where she needed it, making her moan. Her hands fisted his black hair, and she gasped as he took her to the edge before tipping her over it on another stroke as he held her down.
Another deep, sensual moan escaped her lips; her mind lost to the blinding pleasure of what he always brought out in her. He pushed the orgasm on, continuing to fill her over and over until her trembling body pulled his from him while he gasped out her name.
Slowly, he lowered himself on top of her, kissing her stomach, before he slid to the side, pulling her to his side. She was relaxing in the moment, soaking up his arms around her. They stayed like that until their breathing and heart rate finally calmed. Cinder was feeling very tired but wouldn’t admit that to Sebastian. He leaned over and kissed her on her shoulder, getting up to leave and let her rest.
“Stay with me?” She asked him. He nodded and smiled at her, settling back down into the bed with her, pulling their bodies under her covers.
He pulled her back against him and wrapped an arm around her waist, nuzzling into the back of her neck, rubbing on her in his wolfy way that she loved and found comforting. Cinder wrapped her arm over his and sighed, settling into her great green bed.
Sebastian held her close, his mind dwelling on how much he loved her. She was already asleep before he had closed his eyes to relax. He would ensure she rested as much as possible over the next few days so she wouldn’t exhaust herself again before the Solstice Festival.