SWNOVELS : Chapter 38
Leaning my head back up against the wall, I let my eyes drift shut to focus on breathing. The last few days have been a lot, and it’s not over yet.
If anything good has come out of this horrible accident, it’s the fact that I get to see my sister. She and Noah seem really cute together. He’s energetic and earnest, while my sister is more mellow and easy going. It’s a good balance. And with the way they look at each other, I can tell they’re really in love. That’s important to me.
“Aww, look at you. Back in our usual spot, I could just cry. What a kodak moment.” I look up at Mia’s voice as she ascends the stairs to the landing. This top floor alcove in the back stairwell has always been our spot. “I knew I’d find you here.”
“Where else would I be?” I tease. “I wanted to give Samantha and Noah some time alone. And I could use a few minutes of peace and quiet.” Not to mention a break from the certain pair of hazel eyes that have followed me since I left New York. Callum disappeared a while ago, but I know it won’t be too long before he’s back to watch me.
“Here,” Mia says, holding out a large paper bag. My brows come together in confusion, but I accept it anyway.
“What is this?” I ask, ripping open the sticker securing it shut to see what’s inside.
“A bunch of food was delivered to Samantha’s room, this one has your name on it.” Mia explains, taking a seat on the cushion next to me. “I’m not even sure how it got past the lobby, they’re so strict about outside food after surgery.”
Opening the bag I pull out a bottle of Mountain Dew, a large bottle of water, and a food container holding a thick turkey club sandwich, a cup of Mac and cheese, and some Caesar salad. A triple fudge brownie sits wrapped in the bottom of the bag with a set of plastic utensils.
I know exactly where this came from, and I can’t even say I’m surprised he got it past security. “Callum.”
Even when he’s not in the same building he’s taking care of me. Something that’s both touching and painful. I still haven’t decided if I’ll ever speak to him again, but I could really kiss that man right now. I was dreading another meal from the cafeteria.
“Callum is the reason you’re still in New York, isn’t he?” Mia asks, the can in her hand fizzing loudly when she pops the tab open to take a sip of the energy drink. Sitting here with her in our old hangout spot on the padded bench in the secluded corner of a back stairwell feels like I’m in an alternate reality—a reality where I never left Oregon.
“Yeah, he is.” Taking a bite of the sandwich, I’m tempted to throw it across the landing. Of course it’s fucking delicious, Mr. Control Freak bought it. How could I have expected anything less than perfection?
“I figured,” she says, snagging a crouton from my salad. “Do you love him?”
“I don’t know.” It’s a lie and we both know it.
“Yes you do. You know,” she counters. “Just because you deny it out loud doesn’t change how you really feel, Lexie. Pushing him away doesn’t stop you from caring about him.”
“He scares me.” I’m not talking about the man, I’m terrified of the feelings I have for him. They make me vulnerable, and there’s a huge potential for ruin.
He could break me.
“Could you walk away? If you decided to end it right now, are you ready to live your life without him?”
No.
The answer in my mind is immediate and final. I can’t picture my life without Callum in it, and I hope I never have to.
Callum Russo is the most attentive, patient, and generous man I’ve ever met. He gives with both hands without expecting anything from me in return. With Callum, I know that when his eyes are on me he’s not just looking. He sees me like no one ever has. He’s completely changed my life past the point of no return—just like he wanted. Callum Russo is a man of his word.
He’s also calculated, controlling, and lethal. He always finds a way to get what he wants, even if it means playing dirty. And I love him anyway.
When I turn my head to look at my best friend, I know she can read the answer clearly on my face.
“Damn.” The word comes out of me in both relief and disappointment. I’ve never told a guy I love him before, not when I actually meant it. Not like this. “I’m in love with Callum.”
The words feel heavy on my tongue as I say it out loud for the first time. It’s weird admitting it to someone else, I can barely admit it to myself.
“I mean, he’s not exactly who I pictured you ending up with. Callum is slightly terrifying,” Mia admits, and I can’t disagree. “But if anyone deserves to be doted on by a super rich, hot, bearded guy with tattoos and a private jet—it’s you.”
Meeting her eyes I can see that she means it, her words warming my heart. Damn, I miss this woman. How can I go back to New York without her?
Giving her a grateful smile, we settle into a comfortable silence. I lift one half of the hearty sandwich and nudge the container over for her to eat the other half. And just like that, we’re simply two best friends sharing a meal in our quiet place.