Another Half

As soon as the main door of their suite shut behind them, Rex playfully slammed Blade against it. With one hand on her waist and the other cuppling one side of her face, he kissed her deeply and for a long time while Blade sank her hands in his thick hair.

I’ve wanted to do this ever since you threw that knife into Zedek’s leg.

He pulled away and looked into her eyes. “Speaking of which, what happened to you back there? With Zedek?”

“What do you mean?”

“One moment you were there with me, and the next you were—not there. Your feelings and even your thoughts were gone. I couldn’t even feel you.” He ran his fingers down her cheek; he was frowning with concern.

After taking a deep breath, she sighed. “It’s part of my training. Did you see a black box?”

Rex’s frown deepened.

“In my head. There’s a black box. Smooth on the outside with no locks or anything.” She closed her eyes, put her right index and middle fingers on his temple, and broadcast an image of her safety box, which was nothing but an opaque black cube. “This one.”

“I’ve seen it, but I didn’t know what it was. I thought it was just, uh, decoration in your head or something.”

“You thought it was a decoration?” Blade opened her eyes and burst out laughing. “In my head?”

“Come on, it wasn’t that funny.”

“Yeah, it was,” she said, still shaking from laughing so hard. She put her arms around his neck and pulled him to her. “It was part of my training. I have to put away all of my emotions, including love, compassion, sympathy, my sense of justice, and even my hopes and dreams into that black box so that nothing interferes with what I have to do. Oftentimes, the things I do to people are things I can't do without that kind of preparation. It’s also the reason no one can hurt me. They could say the worst things that it just slides off because they can’t touch anything or anyone that matters to me.”

“But you didn’t even feel anything for me,” he said, and she could see that was what truly worried him.

She rose to her toes and pecked his lips. “You were locked inside the box with the rest of me. I wasn’t going to let anyone hurt what I have with you,” she whispered.

Rex picked her up again and carried her to their bed.

They lay in bed and they continued to kiss and love as if they would never run out of energy despite being alone for a while. At one point, as he moved his lips from her mouth to the right side of her neck, Blade knew she could continue to be with Rex the rest of her life and beyond, and never tire of him.

He ran his strong hands over her shoulders, down her arms, and grabbed her by the wrists while he began to nibble on the most sensitive part of her neck, where it met with the shoulder. With his weight entirely on her, he continued to comfortably lay between her legs almost completely immobilizing her, and she shuddered as he exerted his physical dominance over her. He tightened his hold on her wrists.

What would happen if I Marked you—right here? His sharp teeth grazed the skin on the opposite side of her neck where he had previously Marked her.

Blade gasped and opened her eyes wide. Her entire body went on lockdown as a wave of shock washed through her. She rushed to remember everything her mother had taught her about Second Markings. Her grandfather turned sour every time Blade brought up the subject, so he was a dead end.

“You would bind your life force to mine,” Blade finally whispered. “If I die first, you will die soon after. Almost instantly. I would also Mark you and in that way, I would give you my life, too. Our physical lives would be intertwined.”

And you would be okay with that?

Very slowly, he licked that same spot, sending a delicious shiver down her spine. She closed her eyes as her body went limp.

“Absolutely,” she rasped. “But you’re an Alpha. Why would you give me your life like that?”

Because I don’t want to ever know what it’s like to live without you again. I already lost you once—

“I didn’t know you were my Mate—”

Doesn’t matter. It was utter hell for me, and I didn’t even know you. I will not be left again.

This was a recurring theme in Rex’s darkest thoughts, Blade had noticed. When he was a little boy, he felt that his mother had left him when she died, and those feelings returned when his father died, too. His first mate left him for another, and even Blade left him when he chased her in the forest. He was right in that it didn’t matter if she was justified in running away because she knew that the resulting pain and scar it had caused him had been the same. Everyone who was supposed to love him unconditionally had left him.

“I will never leave you,” she whispered. “I can’t nor do I want to. You know this. Besides, I thought Alphas and Lunas never bound themselves to each other.”

For the good of the pack, Rosalia had explained, Alphas and Lunas never did a Second Marking in case one of them died, the other would remain to raise the next Alpha, thus ensuring the bloodline and the survival of the pack. A prime example was Rex’s own father, who remained after Rex’s mother died to raise and train him as the next Alpha. It was a sacrifice made for the good of the pack. Ironically, Omegas were afforded the privilege of binding their lives to their Mates without judgment because their responsibilities to the pack were minimal when compared to Alphas and all other ranking-leadership, all of which were also encouraged to not jeopardize their lines of succession.

“Yes, that’s the general consensus, and nobody regrets it more than the Alpha or Luna that is widowed, the half that gets left.” Rex stopped kissing her neck to look into her eyes. “My father loved me, and I will always be grateful for his sacrifice, but there wasn’t a day after my mother died that he didn’t long to be with his Mate more than with me. He regretted every day of the remainder of his life not Binding his life to my mother’s. I was never angry or hurt by that because I thought I understood he loved her and was lonely for her. But now that I have you, I know I can never do what he did nor do I want to. I love you, Blade. That’s all there is to it.”

Blade stared at him, wide-eyed. Only Fated Mates could Bind their lives to each other, but they rarely did when they were young because of the implications of leaving orphaned pups behind. They usually waited until all of their pups were adults.

“Rex, we don’t even have our first son yet. Are you sure you want to do this so soon? If something happens to me before I can give you an heir, your bloodline—”

“—would continue with Uncle Dylan and his line. I’m not interested in having another Mate. Like my father, I wouldn’t be able to Choose a mate, and it wouldn’t be fair to that poor she-wolf that accepted me because I’m sure I would make it perfectly clear to her every day that she will never measure up to you. The Firstborn line would die with me, but I don’t care about that as much as I care about not losing you. Besides, I have a feeling it will work out, that we will have and raise all the pups that you want and we’ll be fine.”

“Then why?”

Rex shrugged. “Insurance. I might be wrong and I’m a fan of being insured against my intuition failing me with who matters most.”

And with that, Blade remembered how tearful mother's had been when she administered the last of her advice.

“I would have been able to find your father if I had accepted his request when he asked instead of putting it off for when you, kids, were grown. And now all I have are my sweet memories of my Emilio and, after all these years, I miss him so much, mija, every single day. So, if your Fated Mate ever asks, don’t say no. Not to this. You’ll both regret it so much later,” she had whispered.

Blade felt Rex’s joy before she even said the words, and his smile reached his eyes and shone in the barely lit room.

“Do you want to do this right now?” she asked.

Rex searched her face, and she could feel him also searching through their bond to make sure she meant it, that she didn’t feel forced.

“We don’t have to do it right now,” he said, his voice light and blissful. “We can wait until our first season together. I don’t want anything to interfere or interrupt us when we Mark each other again. We’ll make it extra special this time around, because it will be.”

Blade smiled and nodded, and he took her into his arms and held her as he rolled to his side. She could feel him bursting with love, relief, and gratitude, and his stream of consciousness was of joyful thoughts.

“Thank you,” he whispered. “I love you so much.”

“And I love you.”