And her name is…

*Thump*Thump*Thump*

I gasp and try to sit up but a strong arm holds me down. Crooking my head up, Wulfric’s eyes are still closed but his tensed arm suggests he’s awake. I just stare at him for a minute, absorbing in his perfect face that is definitely alive.

His other hand moves up from my hip to cover my face. “Go back to sleep, I’m alive and you’re safe.”

One of my arms rests between us, but I move my other hand up from his stomach to rest over his heart. It is beating, and it picks up slightly as I dig my fingers into his skin. It has me smiling under his hand and he digs his fingers in gently around my face, making me giggle.

“Theo,” he groans, moving his hand off my face as he opens his eyes, and then he’s smiling too. “How can I possibly keep my eyes closed when I need to know what face you make when you’regiggling?”

“I’ve giggled before,” I return, but I can’t muster my usual sharp tone.

He chuckles, his chest shaking against me. “Manically or devilishly maybe, never with mirth.” He moves his hand to hold my chin and his thumb gently brushes my cheek. “I like it.”

I find myself blushing and wanting to change the conversation, but every other topic I can think of are things I don’t want to think about yet. He squeezes his arm around me again and pulls me further up his chest to kiss my head. I think he noticed my change, and as he nuzzles his cheek into the top of my head I find myself sliding my hand across his chest to squeeze him too. With a deep breath I feel myself relaxing again.

I deserve to feel like this at least once in my life.

*Knock*knock*knock*

Wulfric makes a sound between a growl and a groan while keeping me to him. “Ignore them and they’ll go away.”

We begin to settle back into the bed, sure they have actually gone, when six more urgent knocks sound against the door. Wulfric gruffs, then picks my hand very carefully off his chest and rolls out of bed. Without him the bed is colder but he leans over to wrap an extra blanket around me without me saying a thing, before asking me not to move. I nod, but briefly consider hiding in the bathroom before I remember how sore my body is. I’m not even sure I would make it there before he opened the door.

I do get quite the show as he moves to his wardrobe for a pair of gym pants, and then he’s opening the door and peaking through the gap. “What?”

“Is Theodosine with you? She’s not answering her door, and I can’t tell if she’s even in there, and she missed breakfast but then you also missed breakfast, and she didn’t get her walk with me so I’m worried she’s tired. And I got to thinking that shifting like that probably takes up a lot of energy so what if she’s stuck in her room too exhausted to move, hungry, and no one can get in except whoever stole her key, and then that got me to thinking that what if they snuck into her room last night and hurt her and…”

“Nyx,” Wulfric interrupts and she stops talking. “She’s fine.”

“Are you sure?” She begs.

I see him smirk at me as he lets the door open further. “Fine, see for yourself.”

He strides back over to me, gently petting my cheek before heading to the bathroom and closing the door. Nyx follows him into the bedroom toward me and ignores him entirely as he walks away. It’s in me to be embarrassed that she’s seeing me naked in a man’s bed after my former lover tried to imprison me, but the relief in her expression pushes that away. She looks me up and down but she can’t see much beneath the blanket I’m hiding under, which is for the best because I don’t know what my skin looks like after last nights events.Allof last nights events.

“Theodosine,” she sighs, sitting on the edge of the bed. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

I look at her, confused as shit. “You should be more afraid of me,” I return blandly, not entirely sure why I’m showing such hostility to Nyx of all people, but I can’t seem to stop myself.

She gives me a sympathetic smile and pats my shoulder through the blanket. “If you wanted to kill me, we both know you would have. We can talk more after you’ve woken up, I was just worried about you. I’m glad you’re okay.”

She leans over to kiss my forehead in a gesture so motherly that I almost flinch away before she got up and left. The door clicks softly behind her and a moment later the bathroom door opens with Wulfric coming out. He looks around the room before dropping his pants to the floor and coming to join me back in bed. His arm moves under my neck to bring me up onto his chest and the other moves down my arm to find my hand and pull it back onto his chest.

His thumb gently rubs the back of my hand as he holds it there and he breathes like he’s trying to reset the moment we had been in before Nyx arrived.

“I know we didn’t eat last night. You must be starving. We’ll get up soon. Just let me enjoy this a little while longer.”

I nod against his chest, listening to his heart again. I was very awake when Nyx came into the room but now, in his warmth, I feel like I could go right back to sleep. His hand starts to trace little patterns up and down my spine, and that’s all I need to drift back to sleep in his embrace.

-

When I wake up again it’s more gently. I don’t remember any dreams, or rather nightmares, and Wulfric is carefully playing with my hair. I stretch my back and hum slightly, feeling his hand run down to my lower back to keep me to him. It’s nice feeling like someone cares about me, even if it can’t last.

“We should shower and get you something to eat,” he says when I’m done stretching out but returns to twisting my hair around his fingers.

I nod against his chest. “Okay.”

We stay in bed for a while longer before we shower together and, though we nearly get lost in each other several times, one of our growling stomachs has us remembering priorities. Sure I could siphon from him, and he could get energy from me, but we’d essentially just be passing it back and forth and not replacing any of the energy we’ve lost. Food is important, but I’m not looking forward to seeing anyone.

When we finished showering, Wulfric gave me one of his shirts and a pair of gym pants. He’s a trim man, so it doesn’t flow around me too outrageously but it’s still obviously not mine. One last stop in the bathroomhas me second thinking my appearance and I run my hands through my hair, glamouring it into vibrant orange curls and lightening my eyes. I spot some freckles across my nose but before I have the chance to alter anything else Wulfric is behind me, resting his hands on my hips.

“Don’t change anything else,” he nearly begs. “That you can do it all so easily already has my stomach in knots.”

I look up at him in the reflection of the mirror. “Why?”

“You are mine, and all these years I had no idea you were maintaining a glamour. Technically speaking, that should have been impossible.” He runs his hands through the fiery red hair, pulling it to the sides of my face. “I’ve had my fingers in these sleek blue locks all morning and my brain still wants to tell me that your hair is curly. I don’t want to ever not be able to recognize you and who you are to me.”

I want to tell him not to get too attached to me. That if things pan out the way I feel they will, that none of this worry will matter. I don’t. I listen to him and don’t change anything else, then we leave the bedroom. He takes my hand in his, guiding me down the stairs like I’ve never been here before. Once in the dining room I scan the room to see who all is here. Helion is absent, which I’m great full for, but Ignacio is here, chatting with Ricard and Ealdian with maps spread over the end of the table I had ruined. Now the whole table is covered in a long table cloth and candle holders act as centre pieces.

They look up as we enter and Ignacio scoffs. “Glad you could finally join us Wulfric, not like we were attacked last night or anything.” He spares me a quick glance. “I’m glad she’s okay. I heard about what happened outside. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

I nod, unsure of what he means and sparing him a small smile, but thankfully Wulfric speaks first. “It never should have happened to begin with. She should never have been put in harms way like that.” He releases my hand only to wrap his arm around my shoulders and pull me closer to him. “If anything had happened to her…”

“Yea yea,” Noryth mutters, entering the room behind us. “You’d kill everyone or end his bloodline, something dramatic and true to your fashion I’m sure.” He strides to the end of the table and picks up a figure on the map, moving it about a foot in the other direction. “It’s over now, and we have other things to deal with. Ignacio, you need to go now so we can discuss everything you need to beblissfullyunaware of.”

Ignacio scoffs. “I can stay, I’d like to know what’s going to happen.”

Noryth shakes his head. “You’re a terrible liar, we can’t risk it.”

There’s some more grumbling, but he leaves and behind remains Ealdian, Ricard, Tiago, Nyx, and Noryth. My usual spot isn’t there, but beside Nyx are two covered trays and she gestures for me to come and sit down. I hesitate, but Wulfric guides me along and pulls my chair out for me to take. I keep my eyes trained on everyone as Wulfric pushes me in and then uncovers my food. I check both plates, smelling them carefully and praying they haven’t upped their game in the toxins department.

“Why is he still here?” Wulfric asks, gesturing to Ricard.

Ricard bows his head. “Ealdian told me what happened.Everythingthat happened. I won’t say I misjudged you, because I was right- Owe!” Ealdian elbowed him hard in the ribs and the small nod and smile they exchanged…. I don’t know how I missed it before. “The person matters morethan the power. It makes sense now why I can sense you the way I can. If you haven’t already gathered, that’s my affinity. I’m incredibly skilled at sensing magic, so I’m good at guessing the affinities of others and seeing through magic or or breaking it apart. Orthoirian’s are generally less susceptible to me, but I never thought that that was why I was having trouble with you. As you can imagine there are other reasons this could also be a problem which are much more dangerous to ignore, not that people from Orthoire don’t offer their own complications.”

I’m nodding but Ealdian speaks up before I have to. “I changed Ignacio and Helion’s memories of you from your first meeting. It’s easier to keep some things the same, so they think we rescued you from one of the towns Kheliq sent his armies to invade. Helion’s we’re more difficult, so he thinks Chel was a woman who Ignacio set him up with that played him and took off. Now their feelings for each other match and Helion will be to embarrassed to talk about it. They think we were attacked by bandits last night while most of the house staff was heading out, and you were going with them but managed to away. Not ideal, but in a pinch… Things will start to fall apart if Helion talks to Kheliq and he mentions their deal or, as your guessed, they see you in a familiar setting. Can you hold that glamour for another week?”

I smirk. “What a question.”

Ricard tosses a ball of paper at me and I bat it back. My glamour obviously doesn’t falter and I eye him curiously. He shrugs and returns the paper ball to the pile of others.

“Glamours come naturally to me, and despite everyone in town knowing I wasn’t human I regularly kept them up.When I was younger I used the ability to prank others. Only my mother could see through it. This is nothing. Try keeping your ears rounded while your individual toes are broken.” I’m smirkingy but then I mutter, “not that I’m planning on sticking around.”

“You’re not going anywhere,” Wulfric snips, pulling my chair closer to his like he thinks I’ll bolt and wants me in arms reach.

“You’re kidding right?” I laugh. “Everyone here knows what I am now. So either I’m not a dying breed and acceptance is all around me, or everyone who wants dead or bleed is themselves dead or temporarily forgotten me. Sticking around is a bad idea. Besides, y’all can be used against me and I don’t need anymore handicaps. Ricard less so,” I add just to lighten the mood.

“Gee thanks,” he returns with his own chuckle.

“Same deal as always. You stay out of my way and we don’t have a problem. I’ll take out Kheliq…”

“No.” To my surprise it’s Noryth who interrupts me. “You’ve been through enough. We’ll go back to the original plan.”

“I’m going to be the one to kill him!” I insist. “For what he’s done to me and my m.. my friends,” I pause to calm myself before I misspeak. “With or without you, I’m going to that party, and I will unleash hell.”

Noryth sighs and rubs his nose like I’ve just demanded something petty and expensive. Maybe I have. He mutters something about letting him think and then him and Ealdian start going through their plans, but I don’t like that answer.

“While you’re debating whether I should stay or whether I can do this, let me remind you of what I’m capable of by asking -where are the bodies?” I see several people flinch but I can’t back down. “I killed 23 people yesterday. I don’t know how long you expect it to be before they remember everything, but I’m willing to bet when they do they won’t be so please with the rest of you either. We need this to last at least until he’s meant to meet up with his travel party, they’ll need to forget me as well, and then Kheliq has to be killed before he has a chance to see Helion. If he suspects anything is off he’ll tighten security or shut it down. Last thing I want is to get shot before I can reach him.”

“That’s why Vera isn’t here,” Nyx says carefully. “In her culture the dead go in the garden… she was up half the night.”

A bolder of guilt rocks me. “I should have dusted them..” I whisper.

“Why didn’t you?” Ealdian returns, sitting down across from me and leaning on the table.

I return his look, pushing my food slightly away to rest my own arms on the table. “I’m not sure you want that answer honestly.”

He looks sincere when he returns, “I do.”

I quickly bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself from smiling. “Their fear was delicious,” I begin studiously. “There were so many shooting and yelling. I wanted all of them to fear me before I killed them, but I didn’t want any of them to get away. Dusting felt like too much effort at the time, and I thought I’d go back after to finish the job.”

“But your shift looked manic,” Noryth begins.

I feel Wulfric’s hand on my thigh. He was tapping it impatiently but now he’s squeezing it with what feels like frustration. I’m honestly not sure why. Manic is putting it gently. I was near rabid and would have killed all of them as well if it wasn’t for Wulfric. I rest one of my hands on top of his, squeezing it in a way I hope is reassuring. Noryth hasn’t offended me, but I’m in no mental head space to be backing down from anything.

I just nod in return, agreeing fully to his assessment.

“I was sure you were gone to it,” he admits more fully. “I’ve never seen a creature like you.”

“Thank you,” I return, taking a bite of my breakfast to keep myself as nonchalant as possible.

“I’m not sure it’s a compliment,” he admits. “It was terrifying. I was sure we were all dead.”

I nod wistfully. “You almost were. I very much wanted to kill the strange blathering people who caught me. It’s Wulfric who saved you. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad he stopped me, but you should know how close you were before you start feeling safe around me.”

His eyes widen slightly. “Had you ever shifted before?”

Now that I have, I’m not afraid of admitting, “I didn’t think I could with my mixed heritage. I’d obviously seen my mom’s, and she tried to talk me through it a few times, but I never got much more than the claws.” I smile now, revealing my fangs as I take another bite. “You think if I could have before Kheliq would have been able to take me?”

“That’s true,” Noryth admits. “What was that?”

“Cernunnos.” The word surprises me but I don’t turn to Tiago when he says it. “That’s what you looked like… like the Lord of wild things.”

I scoff with so much emphasis that I hope they hear it as absurdity. “Not that old. Also, not a Lord,” I add quickly before looking at my finger nails and picking at them. “Also, also- you’d be liable to get me in shit from the real Cernunnos for even insinuating such a thing, so take it back.”

“Fine,” Tiago mutters, “but you’re the first creature I’ve ever seen look like that.”

“Likely the last as well.” My tone is casual and I continue speaking to move passed it. “We’re getting off topic. I get it, Kheliq invades towns and takes resources, kills people or forces them out of their homes.. I’ve witnessed this first hand. He is a tyrannical leader who needs to go.-“ I shrug, -“So let me do it. Better yet, none of you go. You drop me off and I just take out everyone.”

“There will be a lot of good people at that party,” Ealdian interjects. “A lot of people only go to his parties to try and spare their people, their lands, and themselves.”

Again I shrug. “So I’ll go early.”

Noryth shakes his head. “It’s too risky. You can’t get anywhere within the city limits with any transport magics, and until the party starts guards will be posted around the wall to watch for anyone incoming. Basically every guard or soldier he has will be working this event. We planned this for a party night because despite everyone on his staff being alert and ready, it’s the only time people can approach him without too much hassle. Without the party, just getting a meeting with him about a civic issue could take months and he’d have half his guards in the room with you.”

I start nodding slightly. Despite all my strength I can’t stop flying objects or blades midair. An arrow in my heart would still be an arrow in my heart. The party is the best chance that I have to get in close to him, and what I do from there is up to me. If there’s collateral damage.. well then there’s collateral damage.

Noryth goes through explaining to me how everyone who enters the city is checked at the gate, and then they’re checked a second time before entering the inner wall to Kheliq’s. Apparently, they all but tear these carriages apart at these stops, and that was why getting me in as a guest had been such a perfect plan. I can’t help but curse at that, because I don’t trust myself not to kill Helion if I’m around him for any prolonged length of time.

I thrum my fingers on my chin. “What if you ‘persuade’ Helion to take Pretta as his ‘wife-to-be’, I could take her place as a servant. Make something up. I’m going because I want to steal something back from his raid on my village, I don’t care.”

“Why don’t we keep that part of it the same?” Ricard offered simply.

“Aside from the ew factor,and the fact that I can barely stand the idea that he’s still alive at all, less focus on me would make everything a lot easier.” I mull over it but Noryth is eyeing me.

This entire thing has clearly been his planning baby and I’m changing all his hard work. I’m willing to bet since I showed up there probably isn’t much I haven’t changed. Now, he’s moving against Helion. I don’t believe it. I only want their help getting in, but worst case scenario I’ll get in on my own.

“You can include me in your plan or I’ll make myself a wild card. Your choice,” I bargain.

“Fine,” Noryth grumbles.

“What? No,” Wulfric objects. “I was staying out of it because I was sure you’d go back to your original plan. She can’t go back there.”

Wulfric is glaring at Noryth, but Noryth gestures to me. “She has a point. Unless you’re willing to lock her in that trunk Helion thought up with Kheliq, we can’t exactly stop her. I’m willing to bet if she hasn’t figured out the teleporting yet that it won’t take long after that shift. If you don’t want her involved, you convince your mate out of it.”

I’m smirking through his rebuttal until the end. That word.Mate.It makes me want to cringe. More than that, I don’t want to put Wulfric through that.

“I’m too big of a pain in the ass for any individual,” I mutter instead.

I hear Wulfric snort a laugh. “I wasn’t aware you wanted to be shared, my Queen.” He picks up my hand and kisses the back.

My face blushes because that’s obviously not what I meant but I also realize, with a sort of disappointment, that he still doesn’t believe me. I don’t even know how to live, after what I’ve been through, without the driving force of revenge. I don’t think any of them believe me and I’m still not sure if that makes me sad, or if it’s better this way.

“I still don’t want you going to that party,” Wulfric continues and it brings me back to our debate. “Even after a month, his compulsion around cutlery is firm on you. What if there are others that only he knows about?”

“Where there’s a will there’s a way,” I turn back to my food and take bite.

We go back and forth for a while. At one point I pull the energy from Wulfric’s arm to put it to sleep. He kept touching me sweetly, trying to turn me to jelly so I’d stop arguing. No amount of lust would ever erase my need to end the tyrannical king. Noryth swore he’d get back to me by lunch, but I’m not too worried about him including me anymore. I won’t drop it, because that’s what he’ll expect, but I know I’m going to the party.