Alphande'

“Gyah!” I said as I dug my spurs into the flank of the horse. Drops of rain water splashed down as we cut through the forest around Au Valley. I was here on official business with Dominic but with all work aside we were never able to stay serious for much longer. His horse pounded behind mine those of our guards were even further behind.

If I were riding Greyshanks, I would have lost him in the woods as her sure-footedness and blinding speed was far superior to any horse. It was her new cub that detained her in Indué. If it was for a lesser reason, she wouldn’t have let me out of her sight even for a second.

I slowed down as the woods around me became more familiar, as did the overgrown path on which I had tread over a hundred times before.

I slowed the horse down to a walk and took in the picturesque view of Au Valley. Thatched roofs with wisps of smoke floating skywards, nestled below green mountains whose peaks were hidden in banks of fog, all under a sky of perpetual grey.

From here it would seem that the last year and a half never happened. It was hard to believe a war including three nations and three races happened. A war which left enormous gaps in my memory and though hearing different accounts from different people, I always felt that an important part of the story was missing. I had changed somehow, just as this landscape had.

This was no longer the Au Valley of my childhood. The streets were peppered with Verdans both silver and green scalesd. The trees had grown a bit more and not all roofs were thatch. Some were made of slab and stone and were larger in both height and width. Such monoliths I had seen elsewhere.

EnkÐáfheetra. The word popped into my mind suddenly. The memory lingered at the back of my mind wanting to push forward but I blotted it out completely. If I thought of that place I would start thinking of halls of pine forests, snow-capped mountain ranges and an active volcano and of her.

A woman with hair as dark as midnight which shone like polished ebony, slanted eyes with deep green irises set in a perfect chestnut face. I had seen her face a thousand times in my head and a million times in my dreams. Tet.

I remembered her and I remembered her love as I’d promised, but those memories came with immense pain as I remembered what I had to live without.

I led the horse further down the path and turned the corner to see the cottage I’d called home in the distance. Dominic caught up with me and stopped. It was still a way off but from here it looked like it had been maintained as the bushes around it were trimmed and even the windows looked they had been cleaned.

Any I minute now I expected to see Curly popping out of the ice house or Babu walking out to get water from the well. I closed off that memory before it led me into darker and painful ones.

“When the falling star struck and destroyed my entire life, I had nowhere else to turn to. This place became my home then.”

“Thank you for maintaining it.” I said and turned the horse around.

“Are you not going down to see it?”

“No, it will bring up things that I do not wish to remember.” his eyes squinted slightly. If anyone could understand loss it was him.

“But things and people you should never forget.” he said placing a scaled hand on my shoulder and squeezed slightly.

“It would be impossible to.” I said looking into his dark eyes. He dropped his hand from my shoulder and looked back to the hut.

“To capture the fullness of life, you must at time experience loss. So my father had said to me once. I never understood his words then, but I accept it now.”

“How did you do it? How did you manage to come back to Au Valley despite all that happened here?”

He frowned slightly aligning the usually well places scales on his face into a distorted bundle between the brows. “Because I have seen worse things happen in the war of the south which taught me that there are worse places to be than home.”

“I understand, but I cannot agree. Sometimes if you lose too much, life holds nothing for you. Not even the familiarity of home can change that.”

“Death holds even less.”

“Does it?” I said turning back to face the hut.

“Death is unforgiving, unchanging and unrewarding Evander, son of Elmera’s son, king of Gé Addar. There is no hope or dreams or memories only stillness. The ancestors have given us the gift of life and the chance to make things better. It is no use to squander it on thoughts of death and things we cannot change.” he turned around and led his horse back over the hill. Without looking back at the cottage, I followed.

….

I was standing in a place of complete darkness. The same place I stood in this recurring dream. I was alone but I knew it wouldn’t be for long. I turned to the right knowing that the shimmering phantasm would soon appear.

I didn’t have to wait much longer for as sure as the setting sun, she was there standing across from me. Her raven hair now was a cascade of silver strands. Her eyes pulsed with the same power that had affected me. Silver light, then green, silver light then green.

“Tet,” I said and walked over to her.

“Evander,” she said and she held her hands out to me.

“I am coming.” I said running faster to meet her.

“Don’t, that is what they want. Don’t come.”

This dream was different. She never spoke back. “Tet,” I said racing towards her but she was beginning to fade and by the time I stood where she was she was gone.

I was again alone in the darkness.

Despite it being the middle of summer, my teeth were chattering from the coldness that chilled me from within.

I got out of bed with the covers still draped over my shoulders and walked out to the balcony. I couldn’t risk sleeping as she would again appear in my dreams. For the rest of the night I leaned on my balcony and stood there until the cocks started to crow.

…

The words Dominic had said to me followed me all the way to Indué. I had life, a gift that Curly, Babu, Andreas, Tet and countless other people didn’t possess. Despite the odds I lived. I ate, drank and had given myself mostly to the cause of rebuilding a broken nation.

Gé Addar had its fair share of troubles .Every so often small skirmishes would develop as those loyal to Asher would try to cede a small part of the country for themselves. But those rebellions were crushed as soon as it started. I had the majority of the people in my corner and their loyalty was unwavering.

I was stuck in the middle of the finance committee meeting and though the discussion was very important my mind still drifted.

“Your Majesty,” said Lord Alehondria whom I had appointed as High Duke of Sebán, since he was the most sympathetic to our cause. “The diamond mines outside Keon are back to full functionality. We are on target to putting out twice the normal amount.”

“That is good news.” I said absently as my eyes were strained outside looking at the sea.

“This means that we can start the rebuilding of Raena sooner than projected.”

“Very well,”

“The Verdans have also increased their gold production.”

“Yes,”

“And they have started pillaging the north and eating our children.”

“They have done no such thing and that is not something to joke about.” I said calmly turning to face Alehondria. “I may seem distracted but I am very much aware of what is being said. I hear things that you don’t and see things that you never will. Do not attempt to mock me.” I said looking at him dead in the eye. He was much older than me but I could see how his face turned red and quilted when I looked at him.

“My apologies Your Majesty.” he said inclining his head slightly to hide his shame.

“Accepted.” I said getting up from around the table all who were seated stood as well. “I have heard all you have said and your efforts are truly commendable. I will take all these thing under great consideration. This meeting is adjourned.”

I walked out of the chambers and out of the castle. The mood I was in, no one dared to follow me.

The wolf-keep was not too far away and it was there that I headed. Greyshanks was outside and her cub was with her yipping at her feet. He was only a few weeks old but was already as large as fully grown fox. Its pelt was as white as freshly fallen snow and he hid behind his mother’s legs as soon as they saw me approach.

That could have been handled better.

“You heard?” her eyes said that she did. “Maybe, but I was not in the mood. It is just this place…” I sighed. “It is getting more difficult not to remember and my dreams are not making it any better. Shouldn’t time have the opposite effect?”

A wolf never forgets, regardless of time. You are wolf born probably it is the same.

“The same how?”

It is probably the same with Tet.

“Tet is dead. I witnessed as she disappeared from my arms.”

Disappearing is not the same as dying.

You think she might be alive? I didn’t ask this out loud as I was afraid that the moment I did false hope would start bubbling in my mind.

You already know the answer to that question young king. Something whispers on the wind and those who can hear it has. She is to be fading, but her presence grows stronger. I would not ignore the whispers in your mind.

She was right. I had watched as Tet disappear, not die.

The dream had changed. She seemed to be in danger but didn’t want me to come. That was always what she tried to do, to protect me and even now she seemed to be doing the same thing again.

She gave it all up to save me. Was there anything I wouldn’t do or any place I wouldn’t go to get her back? The stirring in my gut told me that I was right. She was alive and she needed my help. I held the hilt of my sword tightly as a strong conviction took a firm hold on me.

You are leaving. She said before the thought had formed in my mind.

“Yes, I think I am.”