Chapter 40
Tamara's POV:
"Oh no!" My thoughts scattered all over my brain, rendering normal functioning impossible. I could feel as my heart pounded in my chest, making me feel like blood was flowing and thudding in my ears. My mate's words had put my systems to a halt for a second, only for them to go overdrive after realization dawned on me.
"No!" I covered my ears to stop the ringing, swallowing saliva to moisten my drying throat. It felt as if my windpipe was closing, forcing me to take in deep gulps of air. My chest began to hurt, and my hands moved from my ears to my upper abdomen.
"Tamara! Honey, relax. Calm down, Tamara!" I barely felt Ryker's hands as they pulled me on his chest, rubbing my tense back. His wolf tried to coax mine, helping her to loosen up. Had I not been in his arms, my body would have been shaking without control. I closed my eyes in an attempt to make the feeling go away.
"I can't, Ryker. I c-can't." The words were low and forced in between coughs. I shook my head repeatedly, digging my nails into his arms enough to draw blood.
"Every Luna has conceived during the mating ceremony." The words replayed in my consciousness, making me dig my nails deeper in his skin.
"It's going to be alright," he soothed, but my wolf and I could only picture us lying on the ground with our womb missing and intestines out in the open. This wasn't supposed to happen; it was totally the wrong timing, and it would ruin everything for me and our pack.
"I can't be pregnant, Ryker. I can't!" I broke free from his embrace, putting my hands on my head. I paced around his office, nude and in denial of my situation.
"But you are, Tamara. I don't get it. This is good news for us. We are going to be parents, my mate." Ryker leaned on his desk, blinking and unblinking his eyes. Had he forgotten about the threat the evil wizard posed to us? This pregnancy meant war, and I didn't know if I was in a state to engage in any endangering endeavors.
"Ryker, what happens when Addanc gets the news? What is it that you're not getting? The man will come for me and our child, plus the uterus. He swore to finish my grandmother's bloodline. I can't put my child through that, Ryker." My dry eyes were beginning to get watery.
"I will not let him come near you. I will protect you with every fiber in me." I stopped pacing, looking at him as if he had grown a second head. "Protect me?" I scoffed. "Like you protected me the last time he was here?" A sarcastic laugh followed.
"Tamara." He uttered it in a low tone, sending a side glance at me.
"What?" I shrugged. "You were not there when he ambushed Janette and me. Even when he dragged us along the forest, you still weren't there." "Because I was fucking weakened by silver!" He face-palmed.
"Exactly my point, Ryker. Do you really think he will give you time or a chance to defend us? You are an alpha. You should know how enemies work." My wolf whined, urging me to just shut up, but my adrenaline had long shot up, and there was no going back.
"Tamara." The utterance wasn't clear; if I hadn't been gifted with a wolf, I would have struggled to make out his word.
"Please don't say things without thinking them through first." Calm, but his eyes wouldn't meet mine.
"A leader that can't even accept the truth?" I placed my hands on either side of my hips. "Unbelievable." I shook my head at him.
"I do not want to keep this baby and put its life in danger. Janette has your father with her almost every time her mate is not around. The same can't be said about me, about your own mate, Ryker."
"There have been guards with you. When I am not working, I always find you wherever you are and spend time with you. Glad to know none of that felt like protection to you." The last part was whispered but perceptible nonetheless. "Hahaha! Your guards and the patrolmen don't even detect the wizard when he crosses the borders. Do you remember the first time he made an appearance? There was a freaking trained werewolf at the door-the door, Ryker. But he still got in!" I threw my hands in the air as the last two words dissipated in waves into the space.
"Tamara, why won't you calm down," he urged, taking a step toward to where I stood.
"No!" I stretched my palm in the air to stop him from making another move toward me. "Your role as my mate will not stop the wizard from fulfilling his heart's desires. It will take more than a weak alpha to stop a powerful wizard." Hurt, I could feel my heart breaking as the words left my mouth. Ryker's eyes were closed, and when he opened them, they were black-his wolf was out. He took another step toward me then another. Executed in slow speed, his boot-clad feet swallowed the silence that had settled with the sound they made as they came into contact with the floor.
Soon he was an inch from me, but he only stood there for a millisecond before stepping past me and out of the door with his head hung low.
"You fucking moron," my wolf swore at me, anger and hurt rolling out of her as one.
"Let me out." She pushed her consciousness forward and my weak mind complied. We stepped out of the unlocked door, and soon we were running toward the pack's natural burial grounds, nude from the previous steamy session. She pushed harder and shifted as we ran, stretching and realigning my bones.
Full speed, we pushed faster, ignoring the passersby or the awes from the pups at our shiny white fur. We came to a halt at my parents' graves, dug side by side.
"Look at their final resting place, Tamara, and will the memories with them to flood your mind," my wolf urged.
"Why? It will only make me miss them more," I argued back. The cool breeze blew our fur, and the trees surrounding the place swayed. The yellow and white flowers that would have normally brought forth a calming effect didn't do anything.
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"Did they ever tell you to never respect your mate? Because what you did back there was nothing but mockery to our alpha." She lay on her belly, just staring ahead at the meadows. Her words got to my head, forcing regret to wash over me. "I was mad. I just wanted to say what was in my mind," I argued my case, but even it felt wrong in my own thoughts.
"You have no idea what you just did, Tamara." She stood up, fixing her eyes on the far southern side of the burial grounds, right at the edge of the forest. The wind was moving downward and any smell from the south was hard to detect, but we could detect a whiff of something.
"Your pregnancy should be the source of your strength, not your weakness. You're not only fighting for your mate and the pack, but you'll be also fighting for your pup too. Addanc will see it as a newly apparent frailty, but you-you should use it as your goad. I am you, Tamara. I can feel the love that you already have for this pup. Make it count." Her voice had changed entirely with every word she pushed forward.
It slowly morphed into a very soothing whisper. Its waves had the previous tension dissolving into nothingness.
"Call him. Link with him. Call him, my child, call him."
"I'm sorry, Ryker. I am so sorry for what I just said." I followed the instructions from the foreign whisper, my wolf and I working as one to link with our mate.
"Where did you put the darts you collected from Pete's house?" He ignored my apology entirely. His voice had this edge that I couldn't put a finger on. His thoughts remained blocked from mine, and this time around, I had no one to blame but myself.
"Umm, Jayson has them. Why?" His feelings were closed off from the thread that connected us together. He cut off the mind-link, putting a full barricade between us. I had no idea where he was, but I needed to see him and apologize. We left the graves in a rush, sprinting across the pack grounds to Jayson's place. I knew he would head there because of those darts. It wasn't long before the house came into view, followed by my mate's scent. It was hefty, and that only meant that his pheromones were acting up.
"I need something to cover up when I shift back." Seemed he had detected our combined smell because he opened the mind-link. Almost immediately the front door opened, and the alpha male stepped out with a brown blanket in his hands. I shifted back and was swiftly wrapped in the blanket.
No words were exchanged between us as we made our way into the house. "So glad you could join us, Tamara." Jayson clapped his hands, looking at the both of us. "Where's Janette?"
"As usual," he shrugged his shoulders, "with Ryker's dad. Those two have been inseparable."
"I will be leaving now." Ryker stood without sparing me a glance.
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"What is the matter with you two?" Jayson finally caught onto the thick tension.
"Nothing you should be concerned about," Ryker mumbled, pocketing his hands in his pants.
"You haven't even looked at your mate, Ryker? Is it that bad?" He turned to me with his curved eyebrow lifted up.
"Fucking mind your own business!"
"Whoa, Alpha!" The beta raised his hands in the air and took a step back. His wolf recognized his raging alpha. The aura that oozed out of him was almost palpable.
"Be thankful to the Moon Goddess that Janette loves the pup she's carrying."
I felt as if a spear had been stabbed in my heart.
"Appreciate her for loving you and believing in you. I see how she looks at you; there's nothing but admiration in her eyes for you. Some wolves aren't lucky to have understanding mates." The Alpha moved toward the door, leaving behind a stunned Jayson and a shame-filled mate.
"I wish I had half of that." Then he was gone, leaving my eyes fixed on the door. A tear finally escaped the confines of my eye, then a second one, a third one, and finally, countless of them. I had fucked up pretty bad. My wolf whined inside of
me.
"A...re you pregnant?" Jayson stepped back further. I gave him a nod with my head hung.
"What the Alpha said..." He let the sentence hang in the air, watching my expressions carefully.
"I freaked out when I learnt that indeed I was with a pup. Ended up spewing bullshit at him." I mumbled, wiping away the salty liquid with a part of the blanket.
"I have never seen Ryker behave that way, Tamara. He is beyond hurt. You need to fix whatever you did, Luna. I don't know why he came for those darts, and I sure as hell have no idea where he has gone to as we speak. A hurt alpha is a dangerous animal, Tamara. Do something while you can." He let the words sink in before continuing.
"I get why you would freak out though. A pregnancy while Addanc is on the loose right now is not easy, but you are a witch with a wolf. You and your mate will figure it out."
***
"Oh, I have great news, master. The witch is pregnant and she is with her mate. Now is the time to strike."