SWNOVELS Chapter 39
Chapter 39
Three months have passed. Time passes in a crazy way without even making us realize. I can’t believe that my daughter just hit three months old. She’s adorable. She’s beautiful and she’s lovely. Lucias is already spoiling her too much and she has also become closer to him more and more. He spends his time with both Luan and Elena all the time and sometimes he just ignores his work and stays at home. When I look at him thinking about the past, I feel like I was always wrong about him. I was always blaming him thinking that he was the reason for everything but when I thought about everything carefully, I knew that I was the reason for everything. If I never met him and didn’t have a relationship with him, he wouldn’t have to go through all these things.
He did everything for me but I hurt him with all my words. Every time my memories renewed and reminded me of the face of him when I said all those hurtful things, I felt as if someone was stabbing my heart with countless daggers. I sighed…. I shook my head and threw that thought from my head. I’m happy now and he’s also happy so why do I have to think about the past and get hurt all the time? He was always there for me even though I thought he was never there for me. It was a critical situation and I had lost so much blood during the birth of Elena and I was saved because he gave his blood to me. After giving me blood, he has been there without having food or sleeping no matter how weak his b*dy was. Lisa was the one who told me everything and ever since I learned how he reacted. towards my condition, I feel that I don’t deserve him and I was the unlucky thing in his life.
He was a perfect man but with my presence, everything became so difficult for him. I covered my face with my hands as my weak heart began to shed tears. I treated him so badly during that period. I regret it. I regret it so much. I don’t know when I will be able to free myself from this regret.
“Lina, she’s crying…
I immediately glanced at Lucias when I heard his voice near me. When did he come? I didn’t even hear his footsteps. I took Elena from him and looked at her crying face. She’s hungry, that’s why she’s crying. I slowly pulled down the blouse and began to breastfeed her. Lucias sighed and sat next to me as I fed her. I didn’t look at him. I just didn’t raise my head to look at him because I didn’t want him to see my puffy eyes. I have been crying and if he finds out, he will definitely aim thousands of questions at me and I won’t be able to escape from his quiz. I kept my eyes on my baby girl in order to hide my face from Lucias. But it didn’t go well.
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Chapter 39
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“Were you crying? You have no reason to cry now, why are you still crying Emilina?” He asked me. Why am I still crying? I’m crying because I think about the past. My mind reminds me of everything that happened and everything that happened to him without knowing me. All the burdens he was carrying alone for me. I sighed and looked at him. He really knows how to catch my emotions when I’m trying to hide from him.
“My mind reminds me of the past… and yes, I can’t help crying wherever I think about it. Both you and me. I can’t forget anything that I got to know. I can’t forget the fact that everything happened because of me.” My words made his l*ps press together. He stared at me. His eyes were covered with disappointment. He had already told me not to think about the past more than a thousand times but I still do. I still think and then get worried. Now I think he’s so tired of me. But that’s okay, he can be tired of me but I know that he will never leave me. As well as this disappointment in his eyes are something I deserve for my stubbornness.
“I told you not to think about the past. If that past isn’t a matter to me, why are you. even thinking about it? Both you and I suffered in different ways and we can’t change our past emilina… We have children, think about them without thinking about that da m n past and yes… I got you books, go and read those books rather than thinking about the things that have already happened. Please… I beg you.” He said getting up from the outdoor sofa that I’m sitting on.
“Where are you going? I won’t think about it anymore…” I held his hand without letting him go. He glanced down at me with a complicated sigh.
“Don’t let me see you crying over the past again.” He sounded somewhat rough, I hummed pulling him to sit down next to me again. He sat and wrapped his arm around my waist pulling me closer to him. I rested my head on his shoulder. looking at my daughter. Her eyes are closed and her little hands are pressed against my breast as she drank milk. The look on her face showed how satisfied she is to have her evening round.
“Did you find Isabella?” With a sudden question I looked at Lucias. Lucias’ face. turned into something serious. His jaws thrusted forwards and he gently caressed my waist as he shook his head. It’s been a year but Lucias couldn’t find her. No one knows where she went and what she’s doing. Did she give birth to the baby? And that baby must be around the same age as Elena.
I know why Lucias wants to find her, it is because he doesn’t trust her and he believes that she will be back with revenge. Before she could do anything to tear us apart, he wanted to cut her off. But how can we find her? She’s nowhere to be found and she had just disappeared from here. What a strange woman… She hasn’t
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even gone to the hospital to give birth because Lucias checked all the hospitals and patient lists but nothing had her name. We can think that she used another name. to enter the hospital but that’s impossible because everyone knows her. Everyone. recognizes her and she can’t hide from anyone anymore but somehow she manages to do it.
“Don’t you think that someone is helping her?” I feel that someone is helping her to stay hidden from Lucias. If not, there’s no way for her to remain hidden until now with the way Lucias is looking for her. She’s a cu n n i n g woman and she’s so tricky.
“Yes, there must be someone behind her. If not she wouldn’t be able to hide
herself from me. And someone is supporting her for whatever she’s doing. This is why we need to be careful. Not me but you… If Isabella is ever coming back for revenge it will always be on you or them. She won’t come to get me. I tried so hard to find her but I still can’t. It’s been a year already, shi t…. How come she sl*pped away from my territory?” Lucias’ tone is depressed as he talks about it. I can. understand it.
He’s a busy person and he has so many things to deal with apart from Isabella’s matter. However, he spends a lot of time looking for her because he’s scared that something might happen to me at an unexpected time. It can be and I know it. We -will never know what Isabella’s next move will be and what she will do but for
some reason my heart keeps telling me that she will act soon. I don;t know why I’m feeling this way but I sense it.
go out
“This is why I asked you not to
go out until I find her, don’t even let Luang He’s playing outside as he pleases and that’s not a safe thing for him, not until T find Isabella and make sure no threat will come to you and them” Luan has one thing in his mind all the time and it is playing. Now he has two friends who are the same age as him. Those two boys are the sons of Lucias’ warriors and Luan is happy because he has friends but that’s not safe. When I do Elena’s work, he slowly escapes from me and joins his squad for playing.
“Luan is becoming stubborn Lucias…. he wasn’t like that before. He doesn’t listen to me just like he used to do” this is another problem that we have. Children are growing up and they change but those changes are hurting their parents. Luan was never a stubborn boy but now he’s just… I don’t know. Lucias should be here to control him all the time.
“I know. I see his difference. Next time, I will be more tough on him. Shouldn’t be so gentle with boys and I always knew it” Lucias said lowering his head to peck on our daughter.
Chapter 39
“Don’t you think it’s because we have her? He thinks that we don’t love him anymore… you are also paying much attention to her and Luan must be feeling lonely” this thought was always wandering in my head. Luan used to receive both unconditional love from Lucias and I without any problem but now, we are also paying attention to Elena which made him somewhat sadder according to my
guesses.
“It must be also a reason, I will deal with this. Don’t worry…” Lucias said. I felt someone’s gaze on me while Lucias was talking to me. Then I turned my head and saw Luan. he was standing a little bit far from us but his eyes were on me. He watched us for a while and then ran away. His sudden action stabbed my heart tightly. What’s wrong with him? Is he jealous? I don’t know…
“Luan just ran away after seeing us, can you go after him? Lucias, I’m scared…. this is not the same boy who was in my embrace all the time. Please.., do something about this. Just spend time with him, I can take care of Elena and she still doesn’t understand anything” I muttered trying so hard not to cry.
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